Forgiveness (27 page)

Authors: Iyanla Vanzant

BOOK: Forgiveness

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Beyond this, there is a world I want. Forgiveness will take me there.

It is up to me to visualize that there is something else to hope for, more satisfying, filled with joy, and capable of offering peace to my mind, and peace in my life. Beyond the perceived hopelessness there is the bright and shining world of highest hope, greatest aspiration, miracles everywhere present because I intentionally hold only miracles in my mind. As I allow myself to forgive myself for believing in the hopelessness of the world, miracles unfold all around me.

—P
RAYER FOR
A C
OURSE IN
M
IRACLES
W
ORKBOOK
L
ESSON
129

– Forgiveness Friend Story by Caryn Daniels –

L
ike so many people, I had a strong dislike for my job. I hated the location. I was bored by my daily tasks. I secretly disliked many of the people I worked with, and I disrespected and distrusted my two supervisors. I went to work every day because I had children to feed and rent to pay. It wasn’t always like that, however. I started out excited about my position, satisfied with my pay, and looking forward to moving up the ladder of this midsized firm. From watching office politics that led to jockeying for position, being passed over when promotions were available, and experiencing demands on my finances that my paycheck did not cover, I grew into a state of misery. Then I got a pink slip, and my feelings quickly changed.

M
Y FRIEND … TOLD ME THAT I HAD BEEN UNGRATEFUL AND … SQUANDERING MY GIFTS
.

Around the time that my unemployment benefits were coming to an end, a friend took me to task about my attitude regarding work. She reminded me how often I had complained about the conditions and the people. That led to a deeper discussion about what I really wanted to do and why I wasn’t doing it. What we eventually uncovered was that I was afraid—afraid to ask for what I wanted, afraid to speak up for myself, afraid that I didn’t have what it took to do what I really wanted to do. In response to my fears, I blamed other people for what I considered their failure to acknowledge me. The conversation didn’t stop there.

My friend, who was a struggling entrepreneur, told me that I had been ungrateful and that I had been squandering my gifts. You see, she knew that I had struggled going to school at night to get a degree. She also knew that I had taken a job that I didn’t want, believing I would not survive doing the work I wanted to do. In the midst of my defending myself, using all of the normal arguments people have for not following their dreams, she landed a serious blow to my argument by saying: “That job kept you fed, clothed, and housed for eight years, and you never once said thank you. You measured what they gave you, devalued yourself in the process, and withheld the best of who you are from the world. Work is not just about getting paid what you’re worth. It is about using your gifts, sharing the best of who you are, and using what brings you joy to make someone else’s life better.” Never in my life had I heard anything like that. At the time, it sounded crazy.

W
ORK IS NOT JUST ABOUT GETTING PAID WHAT YOU’RE WORTH. IT IS ABOUT USING YOUR GIFTS … TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE BETTER
.

I was taught to believe that you work to make money because you need money to live. I was also taught to believe that you need a good education to get a good job, and that your pay should be a demonstration of what you are worth. It never dawned on me that working is the way that we share our gifts with the world and that I should be grateful for the opportunity. I had to admit that I was really afraid to ask for what I thought I was worth and that I was grateful that someone had hired me, even if they didn’t pay me enough. And if they didn’t pay me enough, why should I be grateful? Well, as my friend put it, “Because you bring your worth with you in your attitude and energy.” Wow! Another new idea.

I spent many days thinking about what my friend had said as my unemployment benefits dwindled. Most of it made no sense. What finally opened my eyes and my heart was the part about “using your gifts to make someone else’s life better.” I had a degree in accounting, but my real joy was painting. I loved to paint and decorate. I never pursued interior decorating as a profession because … I was afraid it wouldn’t provide me what I needed to survive. I was also afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough to compete in that arena. Instead, in order to make money I chose work that did not bring me joy. I also had some reservations about how people would respond to a woman and a mother painting walls to earn a living. I judged that what would bring me joy would also bring me shame and criticism. And who on earth was going to hire a woman to paint their home?

It cost $35 to run an ad in the community paper. I got four calls and took two of the jobs. My first two clients referred me to three others. It has been four years since I brought my first two paintbrushes and six rollers. Now I have three employees and a van. I am enrolled in an interior-decorating course and will graduate in nine months. Had I not spent so much time doing something that made me so miserable, I would have never learned how to appreciate doing what brings me joy. For that I have forgiven myself many times. For the joy and excitement I have going to work every day, I am grateful.

H
AD
I
NOT SPENT SO MUCH TIME DOING SOMETHING THAT MADE ME SO MISERABLE
, I
WOULD HAVE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO APPRECIATE DOING WHAT BRINGS ME JOY
.

D
AILY
F
ORGIVENESS
P
ROCESS
R
EMINDERS

For a more detailed explanation of the
Daily Forgiveness Process Guidelines
,

Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 to 60 minutes.
Still your mind for at least 5 minutes or listen to the
Stillness Meditation.
Read the Forgiveness Prayer once silently and once aloud.
Scan the
Emotional Triggers
List.
Write out the 12 Forgiveness Statements for each day’s topic on thinking, judging, and believing in your Forgiveness Journal (Days 1–18). Write your Forgiveness Letters (Days 19–21).
Perform your Pro EFT™ Forgiveness Tapping Sequences.
Process thoughts and feelings consciously through your Forgiveness Journal Reflections.
Listen to the
Gratitude Meditation
on the Forgiveness CD.
Complete the day’s practice in quiet reflection or with meditative music.
Be sure to do something good for yourself today!

I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
J
UDGING
M
Y
J
OB
, W
ORK, OR
C
AREER

T
oday’s practice is about forgiving our choices, behaviors, and attitudes regarding work and career. Each of us has a gift that we can share with the world. For some, our gifts are sufficient to earn a living. For others, we can use our gifts in one arena while we earn our living in another. Whenever we perform our work to the best of our ability with a Spirit-connected heart, we can transform an act of work into an act of worship. Whether you’re in the elevator, the boardroom, or the bathroom—working with others offers an incredible opportunity to reveal our most selfless natures.

W
E CAN TRANSFORM AN ACT OF WORK INTO AN ACT OF WORSHIP
.

The key is to be grateful for the scenarios we choose and those in which we find ourselves. The issue is to forgive ourselves for the judgments we have made about the work we do, the people we work with, and the value of what we bring to the work we do. When we do our work with excellence, integrity, and positivity—we can become God’s heart and hands in the world.

A P
RAYER OF
F
ORGIVENESS

Blessed Father God, Holy Mother God:

Today, I thank You for the perfect opportunity to share my gifts with the world. I thank You for opening my mind and heart to the abundant opportunities You have for me to serve Your purpose in my life. I thank You for guiding and directing me into the perfect situation, with the perfect people, who can benefit from all that I can offer. I thank You for opening my eyes and heart to know and embrace my value and worth. I thank You for guiding me into my ideal position with abundant compensation. You promised that if I gave my attention to what You desire for me, You would take care of whatever needs and difficulties confront me. Because You have given me the ability to create my own reality, I now declare that the perfect work situation and my next most appropriate steps are unfolding easily with grace.

For this I am so grateful.

I let it be!

And so it is!