Forgiving Lies (30 page)

Mrs. Gates fidgeted a bit. “Mason told us they would have meetings a few times a week at the police department. Even when you started spending more time with them, you never noticed them going off to these meetings?”

I laughed softly thinking back to all the times the guys would up and leave suddenly. “At the time, they played it off well to the point I thought they were going to work out or something. After I found out about everything, it all made more sense though. They were good liars,” I teased and winked at Mason as I nudged Kash. Neither looked happy right now.

“They are very secretive, that’s for certain.” She rolled her eyes but still looked lovingly at both. “So tell us about Blake. We know the boys’ side, but I know that has to be so different from your experiences with him.”

Something that sounded dangerously close to a growl came from Kash and my eyes widened when I saw his murderous expression.

“Um, Blake was . . .” I trailed off and attempted to tear my eyes from Kash’s face to look back at Mrs. Gates. “He’s Candice’s cousin, I grew up with him.” The icy feeling that always accompanied thoughts of Blake began making it’s way through my veins, and I took deep breaths in as I spoke to keep myself calm. “I had a crush on him growing up, but he was so much older than me that it was just one of those schoolgirl crushes.”

“I didn’t know you’d known him before,” Marcy whispered, and after a glance in Kash’s direction, snapped her mouth shut.

“Yeah, we were all really close, but he left for the Air Force and I didn’t see or hear from him until fall of my junior year of college. He started working for the school and began asking me out immediately.” I waved a dismissive hand and tried to smile. “Long story, short, I finally agreed at the end of that school year and almost immediately there was a change in him. I didn’t want to keep dating him and—uh, some stuff happened between us right before the year ended. I met Kash and Mason just a couple weeks after that.”

From the sympathetic looks the majority of the people at the table were giving me, they knew exactly what had happened between Blake and me. Part of me felt . . . embarrassed. Knowing that they knew, wondering what they must think. Kash was gripping the table and staring off into nothing as I swallowed down my unfounded embarrassment and kept talking.

“I didn’t see or hear from him until the end of July, he showed up where Kash and I were working one night . . . and from there things just kind of escalated. Things kept going missing or being moved around in my apartment, he was always leaving me anonymous notes on my car when school started back up. But in front of anyone else, he was the perfect Blake everyone was in love with. And really—what he’d done in the apartment, none of it was anything bad, it was just enough for him to show me that he still had control over me. Like turning on the dishwasher with nothing in there when we’d all been gone for hours, putting out things in my kitchen to make pancakes because he knew Kash was always having me make them . . . just random, stupid things that separately were harmless. It was the fact that he was getting in and was watching us that closely without us realizing it that made it bad.

But, honestly, I didn’t even know that any of it had been Blake until the night before everything happened. I’d been blaming Mason and Kash, and then the next day he was there waiting for me when I came out of the administrative building from dropping my classes in an attempt to avoid him. He forced me to break up with Kash. He had one of his guys blow up Candice’s dad’s car as he was walking to it—I watched the whole thing on a live feed and Blake swore he would kill her parents first if I didn’t do what he wanted.”

My breathing had been escalating, but stopped altogether when Kash shoved away from the table and stalked out of the room. I swallowed roughly and tried to straighten my back from how I’d unknowingly curled in on myself.

“I think you all know the rest of what happened that night and the next morning,” I whispered and excused myself before going after him.

Even if Kash hadn’t left, there would be no sense in repeating what I was sure they already knew. That was the night and morning that brought everything crashing down. Kash and Mason had been undercover looking for a serial killer for the Carnation Murders while simultaneously keeping their lives from Candice and me, and making sure that Blake and the men he had stalking me couldn’t get close to me. Even with all that had happened between Blake and me, no one had been expecting him to be the murderer Kash and Mase had been looking for. And by the time the guys had found out, I was stuck in a studio apartment with him against my will. What happened later is what led to my body being permanently scarred before I could be saved.

But, Blake, well he had been insane, and smart . . . aren’t all the genius’ the crazy ones? He’d set it up so he wouldn’t do time for the crimes he’d committed, and he never would. Blake set up his own death, as well as Kash and Mason’s. I thank God every day that Mason had been wearing a bulletproof vest and Kash had turned at the last second so nothing major had been hit.

I found Kash outside pacing back and forth with his hands in his nearly black hair. When I stepped outside and shut the door behind me, he stopped pacing, and after a few seconds, turned to face me.

“I’ll never forgive myself for what he did—”

“Stop,” I begged and stepped up to him, wrapping my arms around his narrow waist. “Just stop. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“Rachel, I
let
all that happen to you!”

I had to blink back tears when I brought my left hand up to his right shoulder, then down a little onto his chest. Even through the shirt, I could feel the scarred skin from the gunshot wounds. “Then I let this happen to you,” I murmured and stared, fixated on my fingers as they lightly brushed against the fabric covering the scars.

He brushed strands of hair away from my face, and held my hair back. “No you didn’t, this had nothing to do with you.”

“It’s only fair; if what happened to me is your fault, then what happened to you is mine.”

A low growl built up in the back of his throat. “I was supposed to be protecting you, and I—”

I crushed my mouth to his to stop whatever he had been about to say, and waited until I felt his body relax beneath my fingertips. “It wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t mine. We can’t keep doing this, Kash. We’re moving on with our lives and we’re moving on from what happened. Okay?”

He stayed silent as his gray eyes bounced back and forth between mine.

“No more blaming yourself,” I pleaded and kissed him softly again before letting my forehead rest against his.

“Fine.” He sighed heavily after another minute. “I’m sorry about their questions. They weren’t supposed to ask you anything about it. Mason and I told them that at least a dozen times.”

“Really it’s fine, they deserve to know. It’s a weird situation all around, and I had more information that they wanted . . . I’m sure they still want more details. But the details I have won’t change anything for them.”

Kash got silent again before pressing his lips to my forehead. “You’re amazing for reliving that . . . and you handled it well. But don’t feel like you need to answer their questions. Mase and I have answered enough. And that’s not what tonight was about. They’re like my second family, and they’ve been dying to meet you for months.”

“I like them. They’re really nice, and Maddie is hilarious. Another girl that doesn’t put up with your shit is great in my book.”

He laughed when I pushed against his toned stomach. “I’m sorry for getting frustrated.”

I took a few steps back and grabbed his hand to pull him with me. “Don’t be, let’s just go back in there and enjoy the rest of the night. Deal?”

He drew me back to his body and kissed me firmly. “Deal.”

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About the Author

MOLLY McADAMS
grew up in California but now lives in the oh-so-amazing state of Texas with her husband and furry four-legged daughter. Her hobbies include hiking, snowboarding, traveling, and long walks on the beach . . . which roughly translates to being a homebody with her hubby and dishing out movie quotes.

www.mollysmcadams.com

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Also by Molly McAdams

From Ashes

Taking Chances

Credits

Cover design by Julia Gang

Cover photograph © by Emely/cultura/Corbis

Copyright

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

FORGIVING LIES.
Copyright © 2013 by Molly Jester. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST EDITION

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McAdams, Molly.

     Forgiving lies : a novel / Molly McAdams.—First edition.

          pages cm

     ISBN 978-0-06-226774-0

1. Undercover operations—Florida—Tampa Bay—Fiction. I. Title.

PS3613.C25F67  2013

813'.6—dc23

2013016454

EPub Edition NOVEMBER 2013 ISBN: 9780062267733

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