Forgotten (34 page)

“
I can’t afford to,” Kate
remarked. “Or I’d never get to do anything.”

He made a noise of
agreement. “Anyway, you
were
angry with me at first and you didn’t want me to
call you that or treat you…the way I treated you. But after a while
you liked it—we both did.”

“
What?” Kate was mystified
and concerned. “How
exactly
did you treat me?”

“
I, um…” He sighed. “Look,
we’re at the bed now. Do you mind if I try sitting down before we
go on?”

“
No, I guess not. But I
hope we’re not going to fall right through it.”

“
That’s what I’m hoping
too. Hang on, baby. And don’t worry, if we fall, you’ll land on
me,” he said reassuringly.

Kate tried to brace herself as the big
Kindred lowered himself to sit on the bed. She could feel all of
the muscles in his big body tensing and for a moment she was
certain they were going to fall. But after a moment, he seemed to
relax.

“
It’s okay,” he said.
“It’s holding us—seems to work on the same principle as the
couch.”

“
Oh, good.” Kate had been
leaning into him with her arms wrapped around his neck as she held
on for dear life. Now she relaxed and sat up so that only her
bottom half was pressed against him where she sat on his
lap.

Immediately, they began to sink through the
bed. It was a slower process than it had been with the couch, which
had dumped them immediately, but it was definitely happening. Rone
cursed in a low voice and she felt his body tense again under hers
as they tilted downward.

“
Oh! Oh, my God!” Kate
gasped. She leaned forward and grabbed for Rone blindly, wrapping
her arms around him again in her panic.

At once, they began to rise until they were
in a stable position once more.

“
Well
that
was really fucking strange,”
Rone muttered. “I could feel myself sliding down into the bed for a
minute there when you sat up. Then something pushed us back up to
the surface of the mattress when you grabbed onto my
neck.”

“
Whew.” Kate gave a shaky
laugh. “Apparently we need more, uh,
contact
for the bed to keep
supporting us than we did on the couch.”

“
At least it didn’t just
dump us,” Rone remarked. “Imagine if we were sleeping and lost
contact with each other—we could get seriously injured if we fell
straight through to the floor with no warning.”

“
Not that it would be much
more pleasant to wake up sleeping with the dust bunnies under the
bed,” Kate remarked. She shivered. “Ugh—what a thought! I used to
be scared to death there was a monster hiding under my bed at
night. I always wished I had a daddy just for that reason—to check
and make sure there was nothing there. To make me feel
safe.”

“
And you never asked your
mother to check because you were afraid she’d get eaten by the
monsters too, right?” he asked in a low voice.

“
Oh, I must have told you
this story before. I’m sorry.”

“
Only once,” he murmured.
“You told me you were afraid that if a monster jumped out it would
eat you and your mother both. So you just went to bed frightened
every night for years, didn’t you?”

Kate gave a little laugh.
“Yeah, in retrospect, it was pretty sexist of me to think that
women couldn’t fight monsters as well as men. But I was a kid so
what did I know?” She sighed. “Mostly I think I just wanted a
father—somebody to protect me and cuddle me and just be
there
for me. Like the
other kids in my class had.”

“
Uh-huh.” Rone’s big hand
had somehow found her back and he was rubbing her up and down,
caressing from the nape of her neck to the small of her back in
long, gentle strokes that made Kate feel contented and soothed at
the same time.

“
Mmm, that’s nice.” She
leaned into him a little more, relaxing against his big frame. His
warm, spicy scent seemed to fill her senses and she felt strangely
at ease in his arms. Being held like this made her feel protected,
cared for…
loved
.

Kate frowned at the thought—the “loved” part
made her a little uncomfortable. There was no doubt how Rone felt
for her. The question was, how did she feel for him? It was true
she was definitely drawn to him but she still didn’t feel like she
knew him well enough to be head-over-heels. It just wasn’t her way
to let her emotions run away with her like that. She was cautious
about giving her heart, especially after what had happened in
college…

Kate pushed the bad memory away. She really
didn’t want to think about that right now. She just wanted to relax
and enjoy being held in a way she hadn’t been since she was a small
child.

“
Kate?” he murmured in the
darkness. His deep voice seemed to vibrate through her, since she
had her cheek pressed to his chest.

“
Mmm-hmm?” Kate sighed
contentedly.

“
Remember I told you that
I treated you a certain way? When you were being my
Lalli,
I
mean.”

“
Yes?” She perked up a
little bit, interested.

“
Well…” He cleared his
throat. “This is it.”

“
What? You held me in your
lap?” Kate was mystified. “Why wouldn’t I like that?”

“
It wasn’t just this—it
was everything.” He made a motion which she could feel even though
she couldn’t see it. “You let me pick you up and carry you and
cuddle you. Let me help you down out of high places like our
shuttle. You even let me give you baths and wash your
hair.”

“
I did?” Kate was caught
by surprise all over again. “I mean,
you
did—really?”

“
Of course.” He sounded
like he was smiling. “Sometimes when you were feeling tired and
just wanted to be my
Lalli,
I would bathe you and massage you and get you
ready for bed…” His voice dipped down into an even deeper register.
“Before I kissed you good night.”

Kate shifted uncertainly on his lap,
remembering exactly which part of her the big Kindred had told her
he most liked to kiss. She crossed her legs nervously and started
to pull away from him but the minute she did, they started to sink
through the bed again.

“
Oh!” Quickly, Kate leaned
back against him and they resumed their normal position.

“
I guess I can tell how
you feel about all of this.” Rone didn’t sound very
happy.

“
I’m just…nervous, that’s
all.” Kate gave a frustrated sigh. “And I don’t really understand
what you’re saying. That I let you treat me like a
child?”

“
In a way, I suppose. You
told me before that you grew up without a father and always wished
you had one, so…”

“
Eww.” Kate made a face.
“Please don’t tell me I called you ‘Daddy’ and we pretended I was
your little princess or something weird like that.”

“
No, it wasn’t like that.”
Rone sighed. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have told you.”

“
I’m sorry.” Kate took a
deep breath. “I guess I just get defensive when I feel
uncomfortable and what you’re telling me makes me feel kind of,
well…
weird
.”

“
It wasn’t though—it was
wonderful.” He sounded so wistful it made Kate’s heart throb. “I’m
just trying to tell you that you let me tend to you—in every way.
Physically, emotionally, sexually…you
gave
yourself to me. And I took such
good care of you, baby…until I let you get taken.”

His words sent a painful wave of emotion
through her which Kate didn’t understand. She caught her breath and
felt tears stinging her eyes though if someone had asked her why
she was crying, she wouldn’t have known how to answer. She didn’t
know why herself.

“
It wasn’t your fault I
was taken,” she told him, brushing at her eyes with the back of her
hand.

“
It was.” He pulled her
closer, wrapping her tightly in his arms. “I should have stopped it
somehow—should have protected you. You trusted yourself to me and I
failed you.”

“
No, you didn’t,” Kate
protested. “I’m the one who’s failing. I don’t know how I got to be
that trusting—how I became your…your
Lalli,
but I’m not anymore. I’m not
the person you fell in love with.”

“
Yes, you are.” He stroked
her back again, with that warm, caressing touch that made her want
to purr like a cat. “Deep down I believe you still have those
memories. They just have to be released somehow—brought to the
surface.”

“
Well, I have no idea how
that’s ever going to happen,” Kate admitted. “But I guess this will
have to do for now.”

“
You’re right. This
will
have
to do
for now. And in time, we’ll get back what we lost. I know we will.”
He sounded almost as though he was trying to convince or reassure
himself of that fact.

“
I…hope you’re right,”
Kate said awkwardly. “I’m sorry I can’t just…jump in feet first.
That’s not the way I’m built.”

“
It’s all right, baby,” he
said softly. “I know you’ve been hurt before. I know your past
makes you cautious.”

“
You do?” Kate asked
carefully. “Uh…how much do you know about my past,
exactly?”

“
Not a lot of
details—about what made you so careful,” he admitted. “But I know
it made you not want anything to do with males for a good long
while.”

“
Okay.” Kate felt better,
knowing he didn’t have all the dirty details. “Well…” She yawned.
“Maybe it’s time to be getting to sleep. So how do we do
that?”

“
Very carefully, I’d
imagine,” Rone said dryly. “If we don’t want to end up on the floor
under the bed.”

Kate shivered. “I
certainly
don’t.
Do you think just pressing close together while we sleep will
keep us up on the mattress?”

“
I don’t know—let’s
experiment.”

Still holding her close, Rone scooted to the
head of the bed.

They tried lying side by side with their
shoulders and thighs touching but they started sinking through the
mattress almost immediately. To Kate, it felt like being swallowed
by a giant marshmallow—not a pleasant sensation.

“
Oh!” she gasped and
scrambled to get more contact between herself and the big Kindred.
She wound up climbing on top of him, like a woman climbing onto a
raft to keep from drowning in the river.

“
Oof!” Rone grabbed for
her, bracing her against him when she accidentally kneed him in the
stomach. “It’s okay, baby—I’ve got you. You can stop struggling
now.”

“
Sorry.” Kate felt bad but
she
really
didn’t
want to sink through the mattress and wind up in the dark space
under the bed. It wasn’t just her childhood fears freaking her out,
she told herself defensively. It was the fact that they were in an
alien resort and who
knew
what might be down there? What if the Flame and
Frost version of mice or cockroaches lived in the cracks between
the floorboards? Of course, there might be nothing but Kate
did
not
want to
take a chance.

“
It’s okay—just stop
wiggling and we’ll be fine.”

“
All right.” Kate stopped
struggling and let herself relax, using the big Kindred as a
mattress as she lay on her side. It was a measure of their vast
size difference that she was able to fit neatly on his chest and
torso with no problem at all.

“
Actually, this works
pretty well,” Rone remarked, after they’d been lying silently for a
moment. “Are you comfortable?”

“
Well, I mean, I
guess…”
Actually, the
big Kindred’s muscular form was surprisingly comfy. “But what about
you? It can’t be great for you to have me, uh,
smushing
you.”

He gave a deep laugh which vibrated her
entire body. “Smushing me, huh? Don’t worry about that, baby—you’re
light—I don’t feel a bit ‘smushed.’”

“
You don’t? You swear?”
Kate asked.

“
Swear.” He sounded like
he was smiling. “And anyway, I like having you on me—like having
you so close. I’ve been waiting for six months to touch you
again.”

“
Oh, uh…” Kate shifted
nervously.

“
I don’t mean sexually,”
Rone said, correctly interpreting her anxiety. “I mean just holding
you in my arms again.” He put his arms around her and stroked her
hair. “Just feeling you close to me.”

“
It
is
kind of nice,” Kate admitted.
“You know what this makes me think of? I had a poster when I was a
little girl of a tiny kitten sleeping on top of a big ol’ dog—a
mastiff, I think.”

He rumbled laughter. “I’d say that about
fits.”

“
Uh-huh.” Kate sighed and
snuggled closer. “Hey, I’m kind of chilly. Not where I’m touching
you—you’re like a furnace. But my other side.”

“
Let’s see, I thought I
saw a blanket folded up around here somewhere…” Rone fumbled around
for a moment and then spread a warm, soft blanket over the two of
them. “Better?” he asked.