Forgotten Place (40 page)

Chapter 35

I threatened the triage nurse with grave
bodily harm if she tried to get anybody to examine the laceration
on the back of my head.  I didn't care if it was gushing like
Old Faithful.  My mind was on one thing and one thing alone:
was Johnny going to be all right?  Beyond that, I felt no need
to apologize for my raging paranoia toward the paramedics that
finally stopped his seizures five minutes before rolling into the
ambulance bay at MSUH.  I did not deem it necessary to explain
to hospital security why I would not be giving custody of Crevan's
Glock to them. 

The only thing that
mattered at all in the grand scheme of things was that Johnny was
hurt, and it was my fault.  Not
sort
of
my fault.  I was as responsible for
what happened to him as if I'd stood over his body, applied the
electrodes to his skin, and zapped him with battery cables
myself.

Tony and Crevan weren't far behind the
ambulance.

"Don't make me wrestle you for that gun,"
Crevan thrust one hand forward and demanded his sidearm. 

"You ready to level with us about what
happened out there at Dunhaven tonight, Helen?"  Briscoe wore
the bulldog face, the one that announced to the world that the only
thing that would save me from explaining myself was a deep coma,
and that was iffy. 

"What did it look like happened?"  I
paced the high gloss off the shiny tiles outside the trauma room,
where I was absolutely denied entry.

"Don't get smart with me, missy.  That
man in there happens to mean the world to a lot of people, and even
though I doubt he'd blame you for what happened to him tonight, I
got a feelin' that's exactly whose fault it is.  Did you or
did you not ditch him to serve a search warrant at Dunhaven without
proper backup?"

The trauma room doors burst open, and
Johnny's unconscious body was pushed through on another
gurney.  I started to follow.  "Where are you taking
him?  What's happening?"

A doctor in putrid green scrubs stepped
forward.  "Are you his next of kin?"

Two voices barked an
emphatic
no
while
I insisted that I was.  "I love him," I told the doctor. 
Tears fell so fast they barely touched cheek before dripping to the
floor.  "You've got to tell me if he's all right. 
Please."

Fortunately for me, the doctor took pity
where Briscoe and Conall's well had long ago run dry where I was
concerned.  He cupped my elbow and led me to the side of the
hall.  "Commander Orion is heavily sedated with a drug called
lorazepam that was used to stop his seizures.  I understand
from the paramedics that delivered him tonight that he was
subjected to some kind of dark ages version of electroconvulsive
therapy."

"Yes, yes," I whispered thickly. 
"Please tell me he's going to survive."

"Of course he is.  Right now, we're
taking him upstairs to radiology for a CT scan of his head. 
It's just a precaution.  I don't think he's going to suffer
any long term ill effects.  At most, the contact burns on his
forehead will be a little uncomfortable for a few days, and he may
experience some minor memory loss, nothing important though. 
We're talking about very short term memories.  He won't wake
up with anterograde amnesia or anything like that.  We're
going to keep him over night and monitor his brain activity to make
sure we've really stopped the seizures.  In a few days, he'll
need another electroencephalogram done to make sure he's not having
mini seizures.  He could be on some medication to prevent them
until his brain recovers from the jolt he took tonight."

I wanted to hug the doctor, to kiss his feet
and bear his children if that's what would convince him of my
gratitude. 

"When you say memory loss," Crevan butted
into the conversation, "what exactly are we talking about
here?"

"Exactly what I said.  There might be
fuzzy bits of the past few days where he can't recall what he did
or where he went, even conversations could be lost."

"Will it be permanent?" Briscoe
asked. 

I got the distinct impression that they were
asking less out of concern for Johnny and more out of outrage that
he might not remember what happened tonight, and they'd be forced
to accept my version of the truth.  Wouldn't that just suck to
high heaven?

A little bit of affront
returned, particularly after the reassurances that Johnny would
essentially survive his ordeal unscathed.  The image of his
contorted limbs and violent convulsing mingled with the last word I
heard him say –
Doc
– that endearment I fought tooth and nail successfully with
everybody but Johnny.

Tears rolled in a great saline flood. 
"It is all my fault.  None of this would've happened if I
hadn't –"

"Helen, Johnny knew you sneaked out of
Downey.  He knew you were doing it before you left," Crevan
said.  "He may not care what possesses you to do such stupid
and reckless things, but we do.  Not only because Johnny gets
hurt, but because you could kill yourself one of these days. 
Is that what you really want?"

I sniffled and dashed at the moisture on my
cheeks.  "He knew?  I mean, he followed me to
Dunhaven?"

"Yeah," Briscoe muttered, "problem was, shit
went down out there faster than we could make our way from
Hennessey to Fielding and storm the damned place.  And then we
couldn't find the two of you."

"Enough, both of you," another voice joined
the fray. 

I turned and crumpled into Maya's
outstretched arms.  "They're right, Maya.  This is all my
fault.  I don't know why I did what I did.  I guess I
thought he'd tell me no, slap the skids on the investigation for
the night, and we're running out of time."

"There... it's all right, honey. 
Johnny's the toughest guy I know.  He'll pull through this,
wait and see."

"But he'll never forgive
me, Maya.  He... that
bastard
tortured him."  I pulled away, let a little
measure of the hatred boiling inside me show, which in my case, was
never a good idea.  "Take me to Downey.  I want that
prick in the box.  I'll beat a confession out of him, or he'll
die in the process."

Briscoe's finger stabbed the air in front of
my nose.  "Thing is, I know you ain't just ventin' your
frustration, Eriksson.  I've seen that look before, in every
perp we arrested for murder."

I started pacing.  They were
right.  I was no better than the scum we tried to arrest, to
bring to some measure of justice.  Rick died at my hand. 
I wasn't sure I could quell the urge to make sure Sykes did
too.  I froze mid turn and pinned Tony with a hard
glare.  "What did you say?"

"I've seen that look –"

"Not now," I hissed two
words that sounded more like
you
moron
in my head.  "What did you say
at Dunhaven when I was getting on the elevator?  About Sykes,
Tony, what did you say about Sykes?"

He threw his hands up in the air. 
"Hallelujah, somethin' is finally sinkin' into that thick skull of
yours!"

I started to advance, but Crevan laid a hand
on my chest.  "Helen, you're really not helping here."

"Sykes ain't Sykes.  In fact, there
probably ain't no Sykes," Tony said.  "That son of a gun hell
bent on killin' y'all was Mitch Southerby, reincarnated in the
flesh."

My pacing increased to a
few degrees less than the speed of light.  "Southerby was
never murdered.  He's been alive all this time.  Why
didn't I see it?  Shit!  They were so cock sure they
wouldn't get caught that they didn't bother hiding what they did to
Harry McNamara.  It should've been obvious that Southerby used
Lowe's ruse with the succinylcholine to escape."  I smacked my
forehead with one hand.  "
Stupid
!"

"Might I be so crass to suggest that if
you're getting any brilliant ideas about how to proceed, that you
have the common decency to share them with us, Eriksson? 
We've had one too many brushes with death for the night to have you
trottin' off playin' rogue detective again."

It was a step too far.  "Maya, I need
your cell phone."

"Helen, don't do anything rash," she
said.  "I know you're upset, but if you act without thinking
this through, you're gonna face worse consequences when you calm
down."

I held out my hand and waited.

"If you aid and abet –"

"Jesus Christ and General Jackson,
Tony.  Stop acting like Helen's the criminal here.  She's
obviously devastated by what happened to Johnny tonight.  I
realize that sensitivity is antithetical to your personality, but
please make an effort."  To me, she added, "Don't make me
regret this, Helen."

I dialed a number and turned my back to Tony
and Crevan.  "It's me," I said.

"Hey, how's Johnny?" Devlin asked. 
"Are you at the hospital with him now?"

"Yes.  I need my car.  I'm going
to the morgue with Maya.  There are some things we need to
discuss in private, and I won't do it here.  Not when I'm
being treated like a suspect by my fellow detectives."

"Helen, we're tied up with this crime
scene.  We've got a dead body out here, remember?"

"Right."  I turned to Maya and snapped
my fingers.  "Are you going out to Dunhaven to pick up the
security guard that got shot?"

"I hadn't planned on it, but I can if you
think I'm needed." 

"Maya will bring me.  You, Ned and I
need to discuss what our next move is, Dev.  I'll fill you in
on what Southerby had to say before the cavalry arrived when I get
there."

"Can't you tell Crevan and Tony?  They
said they were headed over to the hospital."

"I'd rather eat broken glass than deal with
either one of them.  Either Shelly pulls them off this case,
or I'm done, Dev.  I'll call the bureau and get them out here
to wrap this up and arrest Datello and cut Downey out of it all
together."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Crevan said.  He
reached around me and swiped at the phone.  I caught his hand
and twisted his thumb backward. 

"I'm done screwing around with these people,
Devlin.  They've gone ten steps too far.  Either
Darkwater does this my way, or I swear on my father's life, I'll
cut all of you out of it so fast you won't know what hit you."

He chuckled softly.  "Easy, girl. 
We can talk to Lou about it.  Don't do anything drastic. 
Head on over here with Maya and we'll talk, all right?"

"Thank you."  I cut the call and shoved
Maya's phone back into her hand.  "Ready?"

"Helen, aren't you going to stick around
until Johnny wakes up?"

"She cares more about nailin' Danny than she
does Johnny," Briscoe sneered.  "Ain't it obvious?  We're
all in the way of doin' what she really came out here to do."

"Lay off, Tony," Crevan said.  To me,
his tone softened.  "I'm sorry you felt like we were attacking
you, Helen.  As irritated as I am that you did this tonight, I
don't see how the outcome would've been any different if Johnny had
walked into that place with you.  We want this case closed as
much as you do, as much as Johnny does.  Do you want me to
call you when he wakes up?"

A fresh river of tears flowed.  "Thank
you, Crevan.  I'd like that very much."

"And if he don't wanna see you ever
again?"

I glared at Tony.  "You're making a
list you really don't want to be on, Briscoe."

"I'll tell him you were here," Crevan
said.

"Tell him that I'm sorry," I
whispered.  "I'll make it up to him.  I'll hand him
Datello's head on a platter if I have to."

Chapter 36

Maya drove slower than a ninety-year-old
grandmother on the way out to Dunhaven.  Call me paranoid, but
I'm pretty sure she was hoping I'd cool down before Briscoe and I
were dueling at twenty paces come dawn.  I understood his
anger and frustration.  I even understood his loyalty to
Johnny.

Hell, I loved the guy, and nobody has ever
been more critical of me than I am.  What chapped my ass was
the fact that Briscoe wouldn't let it go, no matter how much regret
I expressed.  Maybe he heard Southerby's half of the
conversation before the cavalry charge to save the day, to rescue
Darkwater's favorite son. 

It was Devlin Mackenzie, the newcomer half
outcast who had rescued me after all.  I didn't recall Tony
giving a damn if I was dead or alive.

"You're very quiet, Helen."

"I'm worried."

"If they think he'll be fine, I'm sure he
will be.  You know how doctors are.  We prepare people
for the worst case scenario.  Then when the news is better,
we're less likely to get sued."

"Thanks for taking me out to Dunhaven. 
If we ever get there."

"I can take a hint."  Maya increased
her speed by a mere five miles per hour.  "Are you ready to
talk to me about what really happened out there tonight?"

"No."

"Helen, look what happened to you the last
time you internalized a traumatic event.  Do you really want
to go down that path again?"

"It wasn't my trauma this time."

"So it doesn't matter because you weren't
afraid for your life tonight?"

"I thought they were gonna kill him," I
whispered.  "When I realized it was Johnny, I begged that evil
bastard to kill me instead."

"Oh, honey."

"Don't," I rasped.  "Briscoe was right
about one thing.  It doesn't matter how you look at this, the
outcome would've been different if I hadn't been so sure that
serving the warrant alone was a brilliant way of efficiently
managing our time and resources.  I figured Johnny would make
sure nothing happened to Riley Storm, and I could buzz out to
Dunhaven and have a look at the pharmacy records to see if that's
where Lowe was getting his succinylcholine."