Forsaken - Book 2 (Star Crossed MC Lovers) (5 page)

After half the guys passed out, I got up and stumbled to my bike, trying to decide if I had the wherewithal to drive to the old garage I'd bought a few months back. I'd saved up all my money and bought it in hopes of making it my own one day. A real, working garage for fixing up bikes and old trucks. Some part of me wished like hell that Lena would have been part of that dream, but it seemed impossible. I had a clover stamped on the door just above the handle, just in case she ever stumbled upon the old place.

She had a perfect replica of the little stamp on her wrist from the first night we really spoke. A smile touched my lips as I pulled up to the old rickety place. She'd lured me into the lake, naked as a jaybird, and then run off with my clothes.

Sadness ripped through me as I parked the bike out back and locked it down. There was no high like making love to my girl. I'd been with lots of women, but none existed that compared to Selene. She was everything I'd ever wanted in a woman. A complete dream come true for the short time she'd been mine.

Unlocking the shed, I moved inside and kicked off my shoes. Another loud yawn left me, and I moved to the desk  Blade had helped me build in his woodshop. The leather chair behind it was cold and cracked, but it was mine. The walls were freshly painted in a cream-color that Grandma told me would usher in peace. Funnily enough, she was right. She'd been asking to come and visit so she could help me decorate, but I was good with the place looking just like it did. It suited me perfectly.

Sinking down into it, I lifted my feet to rest on top of the desk and let out a long sigh. The only thing that would make the day more perfect would be to see Lena. I thought about driving out to her place and sneaking up to her window, just to see her face to face, but I knew she wouldn't appreciate that at all.

She had moved on. Now it was time for me to figure out just how I was going to.

Seemed damned near impossible.

Probably because it was.

Chapter 3

Selene

            It was hard to function when the murder kept flashing in my head. Watching that murder tore me up. I knew the guy wasn’t a saint, but it didn’t matter. Nobody deserved to die like that. I didn’t know what I could’ve done to save his life. My father and his enforcer had already sentenced him to death. My heart bled all over the place. It was hard to stop the tears. How could I come from a family that murdered people? It made me sick. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

         I drove to my grandma’s house. I parked my bike on the side of her little wooden house and walked languidly up the stairs toward the door. The sound of little feet running toward me stopped me in my tracks. I glanced over my shoulder and waved at the three little girls who stopped at the bottom of the stairs, two of them gasping for air after running after me. They were far too cute, but I wasn't in the mood, and faking it was far too much effort.

"Can you come out and play?" they asked like I was still ten years old, too.

I couldn't help but let myself relax as my heart melted a little. "Not right now, but maybe in a little bit. I'll come find you guys if I get a chance to come back out."

"Awww... really?" One of the girls piped up.

"Sorry, sweetie." I knocked once before opening the door and walking in. From the conversation I overheard, my grandmother sounded like she was on the phone..

She motioned for me to join her at the table, and I did, lifting my eyebrow and mouthing, 'who's that'?

She waved me off and pulled a plate of apple empanadas toward me. "Eat."

"You don't have to tell me twice." I picked up one of the flaky pastries and kicked off my shoes before pulling my legs into the chair with me.

She finished up the call, and something about it had me wondering what she was up to. I watched her as she piddled around the kitchen for a few minutes. She was a little more flustered than usual.

"What's going on, Grandma?" I tapped the table. "Just be straight with me. You're all I've got now. Please."

She turned from the stove and nodded. "That was Lucas. He's getting his patch tonight."

"Lucky?" The warmth drained from my face and chest. "You were talking to Lucky?"

"Now, Lena. Don't be upset with me. The boy is a good guy. He needs family, just like the rest of us do." She lifted her hands as if to surrender.

Love for the older woman filled me completely. I got up and walked to her, pulled her into a tight hug and burst into tears.

"Oh, baby. There. There." She wrapped me tightly in her small arms and ran her hand down the back of my head as I cried my heart out on her frail shoulder. "He's doing good. I should have told you a while back, I just didn't want you to be upset with him. Or with me."

"I'm not." I sobbed a few more times, wishing like hell  I could quit. I hated being emotional more than anything else. It felt foreign to me, and yet I was crying like it was a regular thing. "I just miss him so damn bad."

"He misses you too, Lena. He loves you, and he's not ever going to get past that." She pulled back and turned, reaching for a dish towel. After handing it to me, she touched the side of my face gingerly and gave me a loving smile. "Why don't you go to him, baby? He would welcome you back into his life so fast it would make your head spin."

I pressed the towel to my eyes and made my way back to the table, still so incredibly raw over knowing that Lucky had connected with my grandma.

"Daddy would kill him, Grandma. You know that." I sniffled and tried to pull myself back together. "It's not fair to put him in that kind of danger."

"It's a risk he's willing to take, Lena.”

“You don’t understand. I’ve seen things I shouldn’t have seen. I…”

What if Lucky had been the man I watched Dante shoot? My heart couldn’t take it. I couldn’t risk his life like that. I stayed away from him because I cared. Because I knew what would happen. I didn’t want to weep over Lucky’s grave, cursing myself for not staying away. How could I live with myself if Lucky died? The thought was inconceivable.

“Lucky’s a grown man,” my grandma said. “He has to make his own decisions, and it's not just him who's risking life and limb, but you, too. If he's not worth you risking yourself over, then I understand, but if this were me and your Papa... I'd do anything to be in his arms." Tears filled her own eyes.

"Oh, Grandma." A whole new wave of tears washed over me. I missed my mother's father almost as much as I missed Lucky. He'd been gone over ten years, and yet my grandma kept his memory alive for all of us.

Her bony fingers pressed into my tense shoulders as she began to massage me softly. "How about this? You go play with those little girls for an hour, then I'll make you a bowl of your favorite soup. After that, I'll give you the whereabouts of your lover boy. If you want to go to him and congratulate him? So be it. If not... that's up to you."

She kissed the side of my face as I nodded and reached for another dessert pie. I didn't stand a chance with Grandma on Lucky's side. I already felt as if a part of my heart and soul had been ripped from me. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes. Butterflies ripped through  my stomach at the thought of seeing my man. Whether anything became of us again or not... Lucky was my soul mate, I had no doubt. It was for the reason alone that I kept my distance. If anything happened to him, I wasn't quite sure I could survive it.

***

As I was driving toward the outskirts of town, I hadn't ever been so nervous in all of my life. Grandma hadn't known the exact location of the garage Lucky bought for himself, but she knew the basic vicinity. It was enough for me. I'd lived in Pleasant Valley my whole life. I knew all the buildings for sale, and the businesses that had lived and died in them for the last twenty years. So I had an idea of where the garage was.

The issue was that Lucky and I hadn't spoken for so long. That last night we had together played through my memory over and over again, forcing tears to burn my gaze a little. I couldn't go into the next few moments emotional though. I had to pull myself together.

That night had been a holy hell nightmare.

My father had decided to test me again, and thought it wise to send me into a pack of angry bikers who were hell bent on massacring my whole family. If Lucky hadn't shown up and helped me kill a few of them, I don't know what would have happened. The hospital would have been the morgue. I owed him my life.

Knowing that I had to turn my back on him after that was soul-crushing. He couldn't know why either, but I guess now was as good a time as any to come clean. Some part of me hoped  he wouldn't ask. That he would have already made the assumption that my father was at the helm of my reasoning.

The fact that Lucky had so many abandonment issues left me with little hope of a positive encounter, but I pushed forward, driving my bike far past the posted speeds. Desperation raced through me, and I shoved it back down, forcing my hope to settle into the darkness inside of me that kept me just numb enough to make it through the day.

I slammed on my brake, which caused the bike to skid a little as I started to pass a small tin shop on my left. "Surely not."

After checking the road around me, I pulled my bright pink chopper over to the side of the building, locked it to a thin tree and walked toward the back door.

A sad smile brushed by my lips as I noted the little clover on the door handle. Turning my hand over, I lifted it to put my tattoo next to the symbol. It was a perfect match. Something told me that it wasn't much of a coincidence.

I knocked once before opening the door. Hesitating would have had me walking back to my bike and just going back home. I was making a huge mistake, and yet every cell in my body was alive with the thought of simply seeing my man, breathing in his scent, touching him.

Oh fuck, I wanted to touch him. Everywhere.

"Hey! This is private pro-" His deep voice rushed across me, causing a soft whimper to leave my lips.

I brushed my fingers over my mouth, hoping to stifle it  as my eyes moved across him. I'd seen him at a distance once or twice over the last year, but up this close, I couldn't deny how incredibly sexy he was. His masculine features and deep set eyes only hardened his appearance, but with his chestnut hair in need of a trim, the slight curl of it made him look like a playboy.

"Hi, Luck." I pressed my back to the door and swallowed hard, trying to still my racing heart.

He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the side as he studied me. It was as though he believed me to be a ghost. Or perhaps a dream. His thick arms bunched with muscle and the swell of his chest was on full display. He was in jeans and nothing else. I was much too overdressed for the occasion. My eyes moved down to the thick bulge of his cock, and I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth. The things he could do with his body left me panting for a roll in the sheets with him if nothing else.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. “Is this about the emails I sent? Look, I was wasted. I didn’t even remember what I said until I read them the next day. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“I knew you were drunk. You were slurring.”

“And you could tell all that in an e-mail?”

“Lucky, you called me on the landline at my house.”

“Shit.”

“It’s okay. My dad wasn’t home.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Listen, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here?”

“Do you want me to leave? Because if this is awkward, then I’ll go. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Our gazes locked.

“No,” he said. “You’re a sight for sore eyes. Seeing you here is like being in heaven.”

“I know I haven’t been an angel. And I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

“It’s been a damn year, Lena. Twelve fucking months!”

“I realize that. But I thought I was doing you a favor.”

“Doing me a favor? All I ever did was love you the best way I knew how. And when things got tough, you ran and dumped my ass.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. “It wasn’t like that…and you know it!”

“Then tell me why gave up on us. Because you would never talk to me longer than two minutes to tell me.”

“I gave you a note for closure.”

“A note. Seriously? C’mon, Lena. I deserved better than a note.”

“I know you did. But it hurt too much to see you.”

“You think I wasn’t hurting too? I was dying inside.”  

“I spent the last year trying to get over you. And I’m sorry I doubted our love. But after what my father did to you… I couldn’t live with the thought that he could hurt you like that. I didn’t want you to end up at the bottom of the ocean tied to a concrete block. Because I love you way too much. Can’t you see? I did it because I love you. Because I wanted to protect you. Because I care about you more than anything in the whole entire world
.
You’re my life, my heart and soul; the truest friend I've ever known. And I’ve missed you like crazy.”

His gaze narrowed. “So if you’re trying to protect me, why are you here?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you. You consume my heart, mind, and soul. You’ve touched me in a way like nobody else could. My life has never been the same. And I’ve thought about us long and hard. I miss what we had.  I can’t live without it. I wish you knew how much I needed you; how much I loved you. My life without your love is like a desert with no rain. My world has no color without you in it. The sun is dull. The clouds stopped moving. There’s no blue sky. The stars don’t shine. The moon doesn’t glow. The earth stopped spinning. And I guess that’s a stupid, poetic way for me to tell you my life fucking sucks without you.”

“I’ve dreamt about you saying those words to me,” he said. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear them.”

I wiped at the tear falling down my cheek. “I wanted to say them so badly. For so long. But I thought it was best if I stayed out of your life.”

“You thought it was best? Because I sure as hell didn’t. You broke my damn heart.”

“You think my heart wasn’t breaking?”

“You wouldn’t even talk to me, Lena!”

“I couldn’t. Because I knew I could never stay away if I gazed into those beautiful eyes of yours. I knew if you kissed me, it was all over. That I’d be putty in your hands. And I knew that would only mean your death.” I gazed lovingly into his eyes. “I love you, Lucky. I always have. When we met, it was like you rescued my soul. And I never felt more complete than when I was in your strong arms.”

Tears welled up in his eyes. “I love you, too. So you were afraid if I knew the truth, I’d stop your little plan?”

I wiped the tears from my eyes. “Would you have stopped it?”

“Hell yeah, I would’ve!”

“So I played cold. It’s the only thing I knew that would work.”

“So you sacrificed our love to save me from another ass-whipping.”

I shook my head. “A bullet to the brain. And I’m dead serious.”

“You should’ve told me…”

“So I was living this lie. And I couldn’t go on another minute without telling you that I want you back. And I know it’s risky. And I know it’s selfish and dangerous but… Listen, Lucky. I’m a Black Heart, and you’re a Stone Wolf. That makes us enemies. You know we’re not allowed to be together. Loving me is a
huge
mistake.”