ForsakingEternity (13 page)

He waited for long moments, a tiny part of him believing
there would be a rush of wings or that he would turn and see Ren in the
doorway, shuffling his feet and shoving his fists in the pockets of that
scruffy jacket of his.

The refrigerator ended its cycle and the silence deepened
until Adam felt as if his ears were packed with cotton. There was nothing. No
sound, no warmth, no Ren to wrap his arms around. All he had left of his angel
were these feathers.

Standing again, he pulled back the covers before stripping
and lying down. He picked up the feathers as he did every night. Brushing
another tender kiss over them, he laid them on the pillow next to his and
closed his eyes.

* * * * *

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam…

asher kidishanu b’mitz’votav v’tzivanu
…

l’had’lik neir shel Chanukah
.

Adam sang the blessing, his baritone mixing with his
mother’s wavering voice as he lit four candles of the menorah. Four nights gone
already. Gone so fast and yet each one had felt endless.

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam…

A strong, sweet tenor joined them
.

Adam barely heard his mother’s gasp over the pounding of his
heart. He couldn’t take his eyes off the man in the corner. Candlelight gleamed
on golden hair and skin and that beautiful mouth formed the words.

She’asah nisim la’avoteinu bayamim haheim baziman hazeh.

Ren. Ren was here. He looked different, transformed. The
nervous uncertainty was gone. He stood tall and firm, wearing an elegant
confidence which Adam found incredibly appealing. The grunge corduroy jacket
was gone, replaced with a knee-length black wool coat and under it he wore a
black suit. He looked formal. He looked stunning.

Adam was moving, crossing the room, his angel’s name falling
from his lips.

“Adam, the
shamash
.” She tsked the reminder and took
the candle from his shaking hand to return it to the menorah.

Ren’s rocking stopped with the last chord of the blessing
and he stood tall, his gaze steady. He looked different, serious and haunted.
The nervousness was gone, replaced by the steady defiance of a man who had seen
the worst and could no longer be intimidated.

“You came back. I didn’t think I’d see you again but you
came back.” Adam caught Ren’s face between his hands and simply looked at him
in wonder. How could this be? Wasn’t Ren supposed to go back to Heaven?

“I came back to you as soon as it was allowed.”

He brushed his lips over Ren’s. “Tell me you can stay.”

“I can stay.”

The resonance of truth sent an echo down Adam’s spine.
Renatus was here and he wouldn’t leave.

Wrapping one arm over Ren’s shoulder and the other around
his ribs, Adam pulled the angel to him, buried his face in the curve of his
neck, and clung.

“I am here, my love. I came back and I will stay as long as
you will have me.” The whispered words teased warmth and hope over Adam’s neck.

“Forever. I’ll have you forever.”

There, with Ren’s soft hair tickling his nose, the sweet
scent of him filling his senses and his gentle words murmured in his ear, Adam
believed. He had something to believe in.

“You must be Adam’s young man.”

“Mom.” Adam straightened with a jerk. How could he have
forgotten she was there? Though he’d come out in college and his mother had
been very accepting, his father hadn’t been. He’d never brought a man home
before. She’d never seen him with a partner. Adam took a careful step back and
faced his mother.

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear the doorbell. My hearing isn’t
always the best.” Estelle reached out to tug on Adam’s sleeve and he stepped
over to her.

“You should have warned me he was coming,” she chided. “I
don’t have the good china out.”

“I, ah, didn’t think he’d come. And he won’t even notice the
dishes,” he whispered back to her.

Standing, he raised his voice back to a conversational tone.

“Mom, this is Renatus.”

“Tell me, Renatus, do you like latkes?”

“I love them, Mrs. Liebmann.”

“Oh, none of that. You call me Estelle. I’ll give you boys
some time alone while I finish cooking. Adam, take him on into the living
room.”

He led Ren to the living room as his mother hurried into the
kitchen. No doubt she was scrambling to reset the table with Grandma’s china.

“When you left, I never thought I’d see you again. I thought
it was the end.”

“I thought the same.”

“Why, Ren? Why were you gone so long?” Pain clogged Adam’s
throat and he could barely force the words past it.

“I had a duty to fulfill.”

“The box.”

Ren gave a slow nod and the dark look in his eyes intensified
to something so grim it frightened Adam.

“I knew it contained the Law of Men and Angels, something
which would have repercussions on our relationship. I did my best to make sure
we were not in violation of any existing rules, that we were not in danger of
judgment. I…” Ren’s face crumpled and he looked away, his pain a tangible
entity between them.

“I am so sorry, Adam. I was wrong and I put you in danger.”

“You protected me from the demon, though. You didn’t let her
hurt me,” Adam rushed to assure him.

“The danger went far beyond Meela. I couldn’t have
predicted—” He seemed to flounder for a moment. Searching the far wall as if
the answers he sought were written somewhere in the collection of Adam’s
childhood hanging there. Adam waited. Unsure what to say, how to help.

“It wasn’t a Law. It is called The Law of Men and Angels but
it wasn’t a Law at all.”

“I don’t understand.” Adam brushed Ren’s hair back from his
face, wanting so much to soothe away this upset and not knowing how.

“It was a covenant. Those aren’t bound by the same rules as
a Law. I should have known. Should have paid attention to what the box said,
but I was so sure I knew what I was doing, and anxious to take advantage of any
time I could with you.”

Without warning, Ren dropped to his knees in front of Adam,
his head bowed. “Adam, please accept my apology. My negligence made you
culpable for a judgment you didn’t even know existed.”

Adam knelt, and gently cupping Ren’s jaw, tried to tip his
head up so their eyes could meet. Ren resisted, closing his eyes rather than
look at Adam.

“Please, tell me what’s going on,” Adam begged. He pulled
Ren to him, nestling the golden head on his shoulder. “Talk to me.”

“I kept you safe. Judgment has been passed and you are
safe.”

“And you?”

“I have served my sentence.”

That sounded so grim. Adam pressed a kiss to Ren’s head and
wondered what kind of horror had so broken his beautiful angel.

“Come here. Sit with me.” Adam tugged Ren toward the couch
but he resisted.

“Not until you forgive me.”

“Ren, I’ll always forgive you. I love you too much not to.
Besides, you protected me.” Adam gently placed his lips over Ren’s, a simple
kiss of acceptance which Ren returned. When Adam leaned back to look in Ren’s
eyes once more, the pain in them had faded and the haunted look had eased.

“Come on, before my mother finds us on the floor and wonders
what’s going on.” He started to rise, but Ren stopped him. Placing his hand on
Adam’s thigh, Ren leaned in for another kiss. That light contact, the heat of
it scalded through Adam’s pants and his skin seemed to contract. A tremor raced
through him as Ren’s lips came closer and closer, finally brushing his with the
faintest of contact before Ren leaned back once more. Too much and not enough,
it left Adam quivering inside, wanting more and overloaded at the same time.

“Boys, the food is ready. Adam, bring Ren to the dining
room.” Estelle called from the kitchen.

Chapter Ten

Adam jerked back at the shock of intrusion. His mother might
as well have thrown a bucket of cold water on him.

“Your mother’s timing is inconvenient,” Ren whispered, his
eyes full of laughter.

“It’s her special skill,” Adam whispered back before rising.
Taking Ren’s hand he pulled him to his feet and led him to the dining room. As
he’d expected, their everyday place settings had been traded for the good
silver and china. He suspected his mother had added more food to the table too.

Ren spent most of the meal deftly answering Estelle’s
questions with a skillful blend of truth and evasion, then surprised Adam by
volunteering the two of them to clean up afterward and shooing his mother off
to the living room.

“We could have been necking on the couch,” Adam said,
setting a stack of dirty dishes on the countertop.

“We can neck in here instead. Your mother will be busy
finding something to give me, probably putting my name on one of your presents,
so we won’t be disturbed.” Ren set his own burden on the counter and moved to
box Adam in.

Adam leaned back, the sharp edge of the old counter pressing
into his backside as Ren placed one hand on either side of him.

“Ah, Adam. I feel like I’ve waited forever for this moment.”
The words were the merest breath across Adam’s lips.

Ren reached up to cup the back of Adam’s head with one hand
and pulled him in close. Their mouths met and the world vanished. All that
mattered was Ren’s mouth on his, hard body pressed against hard body, and the
heat of their cocks meeting.

Adam’s arms came up to hold Ren even tighter against him,
their bodies began a rhythmic push and pull, thrust and retreat. The fabric
separating them became a nuisance, its scrape an irritation against
hypersensitive skin.

Adam growled in frustration and turned them, pressing Ren
against the countertop. With one arm banded around Ren’s ribs and the other
pressed tight against the small of the angel’s back, Adam began to thrust in
hard, purposeful strokes.

“Adam, do you two need help with those dishes?” Estelle
called from the living room.

Adam broke away with a muttered curse. “No, Mom. We’ll be
done in a minute. You wait in there.”

Ren chuckled as he helped Adam balance. “We were almost
caught.”

“We still might be.” Adam grimaced and looked around at the
cluttered kitchen. “This still needs to be finished. We’d better hurry.”

“No need to rush or tell your mother an untruth. I’ll fix
this.”

“How?”

“Close your eyes and kiss me.”

“That’s what got me into this mess.” Still, he wasn’t going
to turn down a kiss. Adam threaded his fingers through Ren’s hair and kept the
kiss deliberately light. Or at least he tried to.

With a twist of his head, Ren sealed his mouth firmly over
Adam’s and the kiss went from light to magical. The golden richness of it
flowed over Adam like warm honey, until his entire body was loose and relaxed.
His cock throbbed and he couldn’t remember why he’d thought this would be a bad
idea.

“Adam, are you sure you don’t need help?” his mother called.

Ah yes, that was why.

“Mom can’t stay out of the kitchen for long. We should start
cleaning before she decides to come in here.”

“It’s done.”

Done? Adam tore his attention away from Ren to look around.
He was right. The dishes were clean and the kitchen was spotless.

“How did you do that?”

Ren gave him a decidedly naughty grin. “Angels have a few
special skills.”

Special skills huh? Adam opened his mouth to ask about those
skills but his mother peeked around the corner before he could say anything.

“Well, you boys are certainly quick. Come into the living
room and we’ll open presents.”

The next hour was slow torture for Adam. He sat beside Ren
on the couch, their legs brushing, while his mother fussed and handed out the
night’s gifts. His body heat seemed to spike at every contact. Ren knew it too.
He’d shoot Adam a knowing look and press against Adam’s leg just a little
harder before shifting away.

Adam never imagined Ren could be such a tease.

But tease he did. He’d brush featherlight touches against
Adam’s wrist when his mother wasn’t looking, give him those little looks that
were so full of promise and anticipation that Adam couldn’t sit still. Ren’s
newfound confidence was killing him.

And then there were those
special skills
.
Insubstantial
sensations of lips over bare skin and the whisper of breezes over body parts
Adam knew were too covered to feel anything of the sort. Then there was the
periodic flush of heat that grabbed him by the crotch with such delicious
torture Adam had to grit his teeth and curl his toes in his loafers.

By the time the gifts had been unwrapped and appropriately
oohed
and
aahed
over, Adam’s nerves were strung tight by arousal and need.

Thankfully, his mother didn’t argue as he rushed Ren out the
door. Tomorrow he’d probably be embarrassed by the knowing gleam in her eye,
but tonight he was simply thankful to be heading home with Ren beside him.

He didn’t dare look at Ren on the drive home. He was too on
edge. Even without touching, they generated enough heat to steam up the car
windows, at least until Ren demonstrated another
special skill
by
clearing them.

Once at the house, Adam couldn’t get inside fast enough. He
unlocked the door and charged through it. He made it halfway to the bedroom,
stripping off his coat and jacket and fumbling with buttons as he went before
he realized Ren wasn’t behind him.

His hands fell from his shirt and he backtracked to the
door.

Ren stood in the doorway, his cheeks flagged bright red with
cold and his eyes bright with want. Frigid December breezes blew in around him.
The solemn expression on Ren’s face stilled Adam and the moment took on
gravity.

“What’s the matter?”

Ren didn’t answer immediately. He examined the door frame,
running his hands over the wood on both sides before touching one fingertip to
the mezuzah nailed to the right-hand side.