Fortune in the Stars (21 page)

'Why ever not?'

'Well, he as good as admitted he was so furious over the
dangerous mess she landed them in over Langton that he was almost
tempted to wash his hands of her. And I believe she lied to him and told him Dominic and her
friends thought she was away on holiday somewhere and wouldn't worry
about her sudden disappearance… Perhaps livid is the wrong
word to describe his reaction to learning that—I'd say he was
almost disgusted enough actually to wash his hand of her entirely over
it.'

'But Langton's behind bars,' Penny pointed out. 'Surely
that's all that really matters in the end.'

'Yes,' agreed Sarah, then gave a small sigh. 'But I'm
beginning to believe that Jake and I really are the exception that
proves the rule about the path of true love never running smoothly.
Look at your luck with Rupert…and I've a nasty feeling
Lexy's in for an even rougher time with Niall.'

'Well, you can discount me, that's for sure,' muttered Penny. 'Because I wasn't in love with Rupert. I—' she broke off and, to her complete horror and surprise,
burst into tears.

'Penny…oh, hell, me and my big mouth!' groaned
Sarah, rushing to her side and putting her arms round her. 'Penny, I
didn't mean to dredge up Rupert—'

'This honestly has nothing to do with him,' protested
Penny, terrified she was about to go to pieces completely. 'It's
probably only delayed reaction to…to all this,' she choked,
making a monumental effort to pull herself together. 'Sarah, I think
the only sensible thing is for me to go.'

'Penny, don't be daft…of course you can't just
up and go!' exclaimed Sarah, giving her an encouraging pat.

'But can't you see what'll happen?' she sobbed. 'Niall
Winterton will probably take one look at me—once this
embarrassing fit of the weeps is over—and blame it all on
poor Lexy. I'll only end up causing even more trouble than there
already is between them if I stay!'

'God, that's tortuous reasoning if ever I heard it,'
groaned Sarah. 'Are you really sure, love?'

'Absolutely.'

'Look—I'll go and have a word with
Jake—'

'No—I'll be OK, honestly… I'll ring
you tonight.'

It was almost a fortnight later that she rang
Sarah— not that she hadn't started dialling the number
umpteen times before, it was just that she had never succeeded in
completing it. She had tried ringing Lexy, too—had actually
dialled the whole number and let it ring. She had tried on three
consecutive days in that first week, and each time it had been
Dominic's voice that had answered the phone and each time she had hung
up, her heart feeling as though it were breaking into impossibly
smaller pieces each time she had done so.

'Oh, Penny, we've been so worried about you!' exclaimed
Sarah, the undisguised relief in her voice only exacerbating the guilt
that had been festering in Penny during every one of those passing days.

'Sarah, I know…and I'm so sorry for having done
this to you. But I had to get myself sorted out.'

'It doesn't matter, love,' soothed Sarah. 'As long as
you're all right…Penny, you
are
OK
aren't you?'

'I'm fine, Sarah—honestly I am.'

'But what about a job—somewhere to live?'
protested Sarah.

'I have both.' And both only temporarily, she reminded
herself indifferently.

'Great! I was just about to ring Lexy and beg a bed for
tonight; how about if I saddle myself on you instead?'

'Sarah, I'm sure you had no intention whatever of coming
up to London this evening—'

'Penny, I was—I swear! Jake's in France playing
in a bridge tournament for the weekend, and literally ten minutes after
he'd left I had a phone call to say that Peggy, his sister, had just
produced our first niece— two weeks early. I intend being at
the hospital gates at the crack of dawn tomorrow to view the
baby… You see, I'll be providing her with a second cousin in
about seven months' time.'

'Oh, Sarah! Darling, that's fabulous news!' squeaked
Penny, her eyes suddenly brimming with tears.

'So am I to take it you'll offer me a bed?'

'Of course, you idiot! Mind you, this place is
minute—'

'Penny, the floor will do—just give me the
address and I'll be on my way!'

Her hand, as she replaced the receiver, was shaking badly,
she noticed with pangs of alarm. Of course it would be, she
remonstrated sharply with herself—she was thrilled to bits
with the news. Sarah and Jake had been married for almost a year now,
and their eagerness to start a family immediately had begun to take on
a shade of desperation with Sarah as time had passed.

But there was an increasingly edgy nervousness growing in
her as she quickly tidied up the minute flat. As the days of her
self-imposed exile had slowly passed the searing agony within her had
gradually begun to recede to a more manageable nagging ache. She had
rung Sarah convinced that the time to lick her wounds alone was at last
behind her; yet now that she was faced with the prospect of facing a
friend as close as Sarah doubts about her readiness were already
crowding into her mind.

It was shortly before Sarah arrived that she finally
managed to pull herself together. It was Sarah she was seeing, for
heaven's sake, she reminded herself exasperatedly; cosy, easy-going
Sarah who would never bat so much as an eyelid, no matter how big a
fool she might make of herself.

'God—you look awful!' was Sarah's candid
greeting, before flinging her arms around her and bursting into tears.

'Sarah…please, darling,' choked Penny, guiding
her into the small living-room and urging her down on to a chair.

'Sorry, love,' muttered Sarah sheepishly. 'It's just that
I've been so worried about you, and I've had Lexy on my back almost
night and day over my letting you take off like that the day she
arrived back.'

'Oh, Sarah, this is terrible… I'm so sorry!'
groaned Penny, guilt washing over her in tidal waves as she sat down
beside her.

'Actually, there's no need to feel too bad,' said Sarah
with a small hiccupping laugh as she scrubbed furiously at her cheeks.
'Having the occasional unexpected weep is the only negative symptom
I've had from pregnancy so far.' Her face brightening, she gazed
around. 'It's nice and cosy here—how long have you had it?'

'About a couple of weeks,' muttered Penny a trifle
self-consciously. 'Actually, I'm only flat-sitting here—
someone I used to work with had to go to Edinburgh for a month with her
new job.'

'And your new job?'

'I'm temping until I find something suitable.'

'I wouldn't have thought there would be much temping for
graphic designers,' murmured Sarah, her warm brown eyes narrowing in
shrewd watchfulness.

'There isn't—I'm just doing general office work
till I find something,' replied Penny, then swiftly changed the
subject. 'I've put on some cauliflower cheese; it should be ready in
half an hour… Will that be OK?'

'Lovely.'

'Would you like tea or something now?'

Sarah shook her head. 'Poor Penny,' she sighed. 'Fate
hasn't exactly been treating you with kid gloves during these past
weeks.'

Penny smiled wanly. 'At least things can only get
better—and your news is the best I've heard in ages. I bet
Jake was thrilled.'

'Over the moon,' chuckled Sarah. 'In fact I had to twist
his arm not to cancel this bridge trip…he's gone all gooey
on me!'

'And so he should,' teased Penny. 'And how's Lexy? I've
felt just as bad about not contacting her as I have you…
Have she and Niall sorted things out?'

'I'm honestly not sure,' sighed Sarah. 'Whenever I hear
from her all she does is go on about you… And as for that
brother of hers!' Sarah rolled her eyes in disbelief while Penny felt
every nerve in her body tense almost to snapping point. 'Heavens, I
know he was in a state over Lexy that day, but when you took
off…as Jake said, he carried on like a miser who'd just been
robbed of all his worldly possessions!'

Penny gave a bitter laugh. 'He was probably annoyed that
I'd taken off before he'd had the chance to tell me exactly what he
thought of me—not that he hadn't made that perfectly clear
anyway.'

'Oh, heck, this seems a right old hornets' nest!'
exclaimed Sarah. 'Lexy really managed to land you well and truly in it
one way or another, didn't she?'

Penny gave a half-hearted shrug. 'It's all history now.'

'Like hell it is,' stated Sarah quietly. 'Penny, you Lexy
and I have never been ones to pry…but how can I not pry now?
Penny, in all the years I've know you I've never seen you as
desperately unhappy as you are now.'

Penny felt her entire body freeze as her mind desperately
tried to find suitably joking words that would allay her friend's
anxiety. Yet when she opened her mouth and spoke it was the unadorned
truth that came out.

'Oh, my God,' whispered Sarah dazedly, when she had
finished. 'Talk about out of the frying-pan into the fire!'

'Supper should be ready now,' announced Penny woodenly.

'I'll help dish it up,' offered Sarah, jumping to her feet
and following her out into the kitchen. 'Penny, you do realise, don't
you, that you'll have to see Dominic and have all this out with him?'

'No, I don't!' exclaimed Penny, her pent-up bitterness and
anger exploding into her words. 'You know his reputation as well as I
do—so don't let's kid ourselves I'm any different from all
the rest of his women. I happened to be available at a time when he was
worried and needed distraction—that's all!'

'Penny, you love him and—'

'I don't love him, I hate him!' she protested wildly. 'How
could I possibly feel love for a man who thinks nothing of making love
to a woman he regards as the lowest of the low?'

'Penny, of course he doesn't! Oh, hell…the last
thing I wanted was to upset you like this, but—'

'Sarah, please… I just don't want to talk about
it,' pleaded Penny, feeling as though the fabric of her entire world
was about to collapse around her. 'There just isn't anything more to be
said.'

'I'll probably spend the whole day with Peggy,' Sarah told
her before leaving the flat the next morning. 'They appear to have
pretty flexible visiting hours where she is.'

'Fine—give them both my love, and give me a ring
before you leave the hospital—'

'Don't worry about food or anything—we can eat
out,' Sarah called to her. 'But I'll give you a ring
anyway—I've made a note of the number.'

With Sarah's candid remarks very much in mind, Penny spent
the hours of the morning in bathing, washing her hair and generally
trying to do something about her admittedly ghastly appearance.

But her heart hadn't been wholly in it—and it
showed, she decided defeatedly as a glance in the mirror brought her
face to face with her efforts.

She looked like a saucer-eyed waif, she informed herself
with a groan of disgust, and she had a load of newspapers she should be
going through in search of a job rather than wasting her time like this.

An hour later, having gone through all the papers and
found nothing even remotely suitable, she was feeling thoroughly
dejected, and the sudden ring on the doorbell brought her leaping to
her feet with undisguised relief.

Obviously the visiting hours hadn't been quite as flexible
as Sarah had believed, she thought as she went to the door, her face
brightening at the prospect of Sarah's cheerful company to relieve her
growing depression.

'Sarah, you…' Her words petered to a croaked
halt, her startled features paling visibly.

'Aren't you going to let me in?' enquired Dominic, taller
and more broad-shouldered than she had remembered him as he filled the
doorway in which he stood.

It was impossible that so many thoughts and sensations
could be crowding their way into her mind as they were in this instant,
she thought weakly, as her eyes drank their fill of him. It was as
though his words had been tangible objects that had shimmered across
her skin; and there was love, too, a violent physical presence within
her desperately trying to claw its way free from the confines of her
body and wrap itself around his.

'Penny?'

'No! I don't want to see you!' she exclaimed in a rush of
panic, throwing her full weight against the door as she attempted to
slam it closed.

His reaction was to push back with such force that she
almost toppled backwards.

'I told you—I don't want to see you!' she
protested wildly as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

'But I need to see you.'

'And, of course what
you
want takes
precedence over everything!'

'Penny, I owe you an apology and I've come to make it,' he
stated quietly.

'You owe me nothing, Dominic,' she said, a sudden terrible
lethargy sweeping through her that left her trembling and her legs
feeling like jelly.

'I disagree,' he informed her grimly. 'Penny, why in God's
name didn't you just explain you'd lied to protect Lexy?' he demanded
angrily, dragging his fingers through the dark thickness of his hair in
a gesture of pure frustration.

'I tried and you wouldn't let me—remember?' she
hurled at him bitterly, then turned and fled to the living-room before
her legs carried out their threat to collapse beneath her.

'That was much later,' he accused, striding into the
living-room after her, his vibrant presence seeming to shrink the
already small room to the size of a cubbyhole. 'You could have tried
telling me when we were still in Mallorca!'

'It wasn't simply a matter of having told you one lie,'
she muttered defensively, while silently praying he would just
disappear and leave her to get on with this unpleasant process of her
complete mental disintegration on her own. 'I told you a whole string
of them.'

'Oh, for heaven's sake!' he exclaimed in disgust. 'You
couldn't possibly have believed I wouldn't understand your reluctance
to divulge to a total stranger the fact that you'd just lost your job
and your boyfriend in rapid succession!'