Foul Play (Whithall University Book 1) (11 page)

I know her.

Well, I think I do.

Why can’t I remember and why does my tongue feel heavy?

“Yeah, you. First Cole, then Alec and now Logan? You really do get around you slut.’’

“Christie, leave,’’ a voice is boomed from behind me and I realise I’m sitting on someone’s lap.

I am sitting,
I think.

This is not good.
Why is everything fuzzy?

Wait, am I lying down?

Why can’t I get up? Show this... this... what am I talking about?

I laugh loudly, the noise vibrating painfully through my skull and I moan in pain.

“You can’t kick me out, my brother lives here too,’’ the girl shouts, the noise causing me to groan and lean back.

Feeling a hard body underneath me I begin to panic, but then I hear
his
voice and relax. He’s my best friend.

I’m safe.

Everything is okay.

“If your brother wants to keep renting the spare room he’ll kick you out too. Now fuck off.’’

“Logan? My head hurts,’’ I whine, trying to find my phone and bag.

“What are you doing?’’ he chuckles, his hands rubbing my thighs.

“Calling Allie. Want to go home.’’

“Okay,’’ he whispers in my ear and I close my eyes. Well I would, but I find they’re already closed, my body feeling heavy.

*** *** ***

“She okay?’’

“Yeah, just too much to drink.’’

The music is loud. Their voices louder and I try to cover my ears but my arms don’t move.

*** *** ***

“Where am I?’’ I croak out into the darkness. “Is that you Allie?’’

*** *** ***

Pain.

God, so much pain.

*** *** ***

No!

Please stop.

I’m cold, so cold.

*** *** ***

Why has Allie turned the heating off?

Why is she in bed with me?

It hurts.

*** *** ***

Laughter.

Bright lights

I groan, my head hurting.

“Wow.’’

“Go home,’’ I manage to croak out, my mouth dry, feeling thick.

“Fuck off. You’ve seen her...’’

*** *** ***

Fear.

Cold trembling fear.

It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt before. I’m terrified, my body stiff, and distraught.

*** *** ***

Get off!

I can’t breathe. There’s something pressing down on my chest, squeezing the life out of me.

I cringe hearing and feeling heavy breathing in my ear.

My body is covered in a cold sweat, I feel anxious, scared, everything inside me feels uneasy.

*** *** ***

I’m going to be sick. I can feel it rising in the back of my throat.

“Urgh, for fucks sake,’’ is growled.

Oh God. How much did I drink last night? My head feels like a bunch of miniature robots have taken a hammer to the inside of my head and are having a party.

I try to gain some composure, keeping my eyes closed and my breathing steady. I’m sure I’m about to be sick or I have been sick, because there’s a vile, bitter taste in my mouth.

Once the dizziness subsides I notice all the aches and pains running through my body and I stiffen.

I don’t get a chance to question the stinging sensation between my legs because the hardy body currently wrapped around me and cupping my breast, my very
bare
breast, takes president.

A wave of nausea swirls in my stomach, my breathing becoming shaky and heavy.

Oh God, I’m naked.

So very, very, naked.

Finding the courage I open my eyes, the fear I felt earlier only increasing and I throw the arm off my breast. I rush out from the bed, unsteady on my feet and try to fight the wave of dizziness as I drag the bed sheet with me, keeping my body covered.

“Babe?’’ Logan croaks, sitting up in bed and pulling on a pair of boxers.

You’d think hearing my best friends voice would soothe my fears, calm my raging nerves, but it doesn’t, it only spikes the fear I have running through my veins. Hearing him speak makes my stomach roll.

“Logan?’’ I question, tears running down my face. I’m so confused, my mind muddled with chaotic thoughts.

What is going on? Why is this happening?

Logan gets up from the bed scratching his bare chest, without a care in the world. I have to look away, bile rising in my throat, my body shivering. That’s when my eyes catch the visible blood splatters on the bed sheet and a strangled cry leaves my mouth.

“Willow? What’s wrong?’’ Logan asks me concerned, stepping towards me.

I take a step back which startles me. It was a gut reaction, one I’ve never had with him before, or with anyone if I’m honest. It scares me. It scares me so much I can barely get my next words out.

“What?’’ I cry, my throat tightening and I have to swallow down bile as I point to the blooded sheets. I clear my throat, still unable to look at him. “What happened? I don’t understand.’’

His eyes scrunch together in confusion, looking to the bed and then back to me. That just confuses me more. Does he not know either? But he seems so calm, like waking up with his best friend naked is an on-going occurrence to.

“You don’t remember?’’

“No I don’t remember,’’ I shout, my voice panicked. “What happened, Logan? Why have I woken up naked in your bed?’’ I ask, my voice turning hysterical. Somehow I manage to get it all out without throwing up.

Even though I’ve asked him what I want to know I already know the answers. I guess I’m just holding out hope that this is all just some bad dream or that I was sick all over my clothes and that’s why I’m naked.

“We slept together,’’ he says casually, but I notice a hint of sadness, like he’s broken that I don’t remember.

I shake my head. “No,’’ I tell him adamantly. “No. I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t. I know I wouldn’t.’’

He looks hurt by my admission, but I don’t care. I know me; I know I would never sleep with him, not even drunk.

“We did Willow. You said you wanted one night together, that you always wanted to know what it would be like to be with me,’’ he explains, running his fingers through his hair.

He’s lying. I’ve never had those feelings. Ever. Hell, I see him as a brother or I saw him as a brother. Just the thought of seeing him naked grosses me out. Now I don’t know what to think of him. He’s nothing to me now. I also know I’d never want a one night stand, not with him, not with anyone. It’s not in me. I’m not that kind of girl. I want intimacy, romance, and a connection before I give my body away.

The only thing I’m sure of right now is that I don’t want to be here any longer. I feel dirty all over, my skin grubby and sore and I need to get my head on straight. If only I could remember something about last night, anything that will help me make sense of all of this.

I just slept with Logan.

More tears fall and I can’t help but clutch the blanket tighter around my body. Just having it wrapped around me, touching my bare skin revolts me, turning my stomach inside out.

“Willow. Say something. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to sleep with you. You were so pushy, and I had a lot to drink. I’m a lad and you’re, you, how could I say no when you were all over me. I didn’t think you’d react like this though, all frigid and scared.

“Is it because of Alec, because you cheated on him? If it is then he doesn’t need to know, we can keep it between us two. I swear.  Can we just pretend it didn’t happen,’’ he pleads, his voice panicky.

There’s no point arguing with him and if I’m honest I’m too vulnerable and scared right now to fight. I don’t have a leg to stand on either because I don’t remember a thing. I also don’t think it helps I’m hung-over and my mind is all over the place.

“Sorry, can I just have some privacy to get dressed, please?’’ I ask, my voice small, sounding dead.

I’m so ashamed of my actions. Not only did I act like I slut, but I also cheated. I just want to wash away the pain.

The door clicking brings me back to the present. I didn’t even hear Logan leave the room. But knowing he’s away from me relaxes me a little, some of the tension leaving my body.

Not wanting him to walk back in when I’m in the middle of getting changed I make quick work at finding my clothes that are scattered around the room.

My chest heaves when I come across a pillow shoved in the corner covered in vomit.

“Ahh,’’ I wince as I bend down to pull my underwear up. It brings a fresh wave of tears to stream down my face and another reminder that everything Logan said doesn’t add up. I wasn’t even this sore when I lost my virginity.

Once I’m dressed I open the door to his room ready to find him, but he’s already standing outside dressed and looking ready to leave.

“I can’t find my bag or phone,’’ I whisper, not meeting his eyes. I’ll never be able to look at him again. Just being close enough to smell him is making me want to gag.

He sighs, stepping towards me and my body stiffens, like it can sense him. A cold shiver runs down my spine, alarming me.

I still don’t take a breath when he moves past me or when he comes back and hands me my bag and phone. It’s only when he puts some distance between us that I finally take in a breath.

“I’m going to go; I’ll call a taxi from outside,’’ I tell him, my heart breaking. It’s like I’m interacting with a stranger, not someone I’ve known all my life and once called my best friend.

“No. I’ll drive you; you’re still a little out of it. Guess you drunk more than you realised,’’ he says softly, but it does nothing to soothe my anxiety.

“Nah, it’s...’’

“It’s fine, c’mon,’’ he says and I don’t bother to argue, no matter how wrong it feels to be still in his presence.

I nod, following reluctantly. I used to believe he’d never hurt me, that he’d always protect me. We are, were, best friends.

I know I should believe him, trust him, our past should be enough of a reason why, but my body and soul is screaming at me not to.

It’s not even a bad memory that has me feeling so ill towards him; it’s more like a bad feeling, one that’s rooted itself into every fibre of my being.

I just hope I can survive this car journey home before breaking down.

*** *** ***

“Thanks,’’ I whisper, getting out of the car as fast as my sore body will allow me.

Thinking Logan would go straight home. I’m startled when he gets out, locking the car up behind him. My body freezes in horror.

“What are you doing?’’ I ask; my voice wobbly.

The car ride was short but in that short amount of time I’ve managed to be able to over analyse everything that has happened. I still don’t remember much, if anything but my mind, body, and soul are telling me another story. I’m so overwhelmed with all these inflicting emotions. The strongest one that stood out was fear. Uncontrollable fear. Another thing that I’ve not been able to ignore is an occurring thought, one that has been repeating itself in my mind since Logan revealed what happened between us. And that’s: I’d never willingly sleep with Logan. I know it deep down in my bones, down to my soul that I’d never willingly sleep with him.

“Walking you up,’’ he informs me, shaking me from my thoughts. I don’t get chance to decline; he steps ahead of me, giving me no choice but to let him.

It seems nothing is going in my favour. It’s like I’m in a bad dream, one that feels very real. Not only am I having to spend more unnecessary time with him, but now I have to walk up eight flights of stairs. The lift is out of order once again and it’s just another kick in the teeth this morning.

My body is so sore. Not to mention the stinging sensation between my legs hurts more with each step I take.

Nearing the door to my floor, my body gets a burst of energy. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m nearly home or if it’s because I’m seconds away from being away from Logan or both. My body just moves and as I near the top of the stairs my ankle gives way and I fly forward.

My arms shoot out trying to break the fall, but the fall doesn’t come. Arms reach out, squeezing my biceps and lifting me up straight so that I’m steady on my feet.

“Don’t touch me,’’ I scream, flinching away from his touch. It’s then that I know. I know I didn’t consent to having sex with him.

A choking sound catches in the back of my throat, a sob following and I quickly rush up the rest of the stairs, pushing my way through the stairwell door to our floor.

“What the fuck Willow? You’re acting like I attacked you or something and not given you what you wanted,’’ he sneers when he catches up to me, taking my arm in his tight grip.

“I said don’t touch me,’’ I cry out, shoving him away.

“Are you seriously going to act like this? We slept together, big whoop, I didn’t fucking rape you,’’ he scoffs, looking at me with distain.

“Didn’t you?’’ I breathe out; looking at him in the eye for the first time and what I see sends a cold shiver down my spine. His eyes... Jesus, his eyes. They’re cold, lifeless, his expression deadly. How did I not see this side to him before? I never believed he had this kind of evil in him. Has he always been like this?

“Be real,’’ he snaps, looking disgusted as he stands there clenching his fist.

“I am,’’ I growl, wiping furiously at my tears, trying to remain calm. “Very. I’d never agree to sleep with you.’’

“Agree? You fucking begged for it,’’ he snarls, taking me by the shoulder and squeezing me, giving me a rough shake.

“I don’t even remember, Logan. How could you do that to me? I couldn’t have been coherent or even sober enough to have even given you consent, so tell me Logan, how did you think that was right?’’ I shout, trying to push him away. “Let me go.’’

“No! Not until you see some fuckin’ sense,’’ he growls, looking murderous, nothing like the Logan I once knew. It’s like he’s morphing into someone I don’t recognise right before me.

The same fear I experienced this morning causes my blood to run cold, my whole body shaking from it.

“I am seeing sense. You sprouted all that shit off earlier about me always wanting it, when I know, I know I’ve never wanted you like that, ever. You took me against my will, you took advantage of me, you were meant to be friend,’’ I sob, struggling to get out of his hold.

“You just said you didn’t fucking remember. Make your mind up,’’ he sneers, his eyes darkening as he brings his face closer, and the feel of his breath on my face causes bile to rise in my throat and my whole body to freeze up.

“I might not remember, but my body sure does, now let me fucking go,’’ I sob hysterically, still struggling.

“Watch it,’’ he warns, his voice deadly. “I wouldn’t go around accusing me of rape. People saw you all over me last night. They saw you cheat on
your
boyfriend. It’s your word against mine and who do you think they’re going to believe?’’

“Let me go,’’ I yell, needing to get away from him, away from his manipulation. He’s trying to scare me, to belittle me and I won’t let him, he’s already taken too much from me already. “Get away from me.’’

His fingers tighten on the top of my arms and cause me to wince out loud in pain.

“She said let her go,’’ Cole booms, his large hand slapping down on Logan’s shoulder so hard it causes me to flinch. Logan winces, his face tightening as he glares at Cole over his shoulder.

Seeing Cole isn’t going to back down, Logan steps back, releasing me. Stepping back I keep going until my back slams into my front door. With shaky hands I look through my bag for my keys, fighting back a sob as I do. When my fingers reach around the cold metal I have to bite my lip to stop myself from crying out with relief.

“Go... Now,’’ Cole grits out, his voice as menacing as Logan’s, it’s more dangerous, more promising.

“Willow,’’ Logan calls, his voice stiff. But I don’t bother to turn around.