Found at the Library (20 page)

Pouting sounded like more fun at this point, but Tommy had probably spent enough time doing that this week. Besides, he’d promised Ryder that he’d go out, too. Ryder had been worried ever since he and Mac broke up. And he wouldn’t break his word to his brother.

“Okay,” Tommy said. “I guess that will work.”

Stig scowled. “Be careful with your enthusiasm there. I know you don’t want me to get a big head.”

“Sorry, but you know...” Tommy waved a hand toward the computer.

“Yeah, I know.” Stig grabbed hold of Tommy’s shoulder in an effort to comfort him. “That’s why it will be good to get out.”

“Thanks, Stig.”

***

Tommy hadn’t been paying attention to where Stig drove them. It didn’t matter. Disappointment swamped him and he regretted even agreeing going out tonight. He just wanted to stay home and mope. All afternoon he’d waited for Mac to call. But he never did. Tommy had picked up his phone at least half a dozen times, to then chicken out, and set it back down.

It was New Year’s Eve. Tommy had been sure that tonight would be the end to their communication blackout. Instead, he was out with a guy he barely knew just because they were both lonely. Fun times. Ugh.

He needed to pull himself out of this funk. He glanced over at Stig. “So, tell me about this ex.”

Stig gave him a shrug. “He’s the one who got away. Not that I had a whole lot of say in the matter. He dumped me.”

“How long were you two together? Was it serious?”

“It was a few years ago, and no, it didn’t last long. But was it serious? I thought so, but he didn’t. Thus, I got dumped. He couldn’t deal with a clingy boyfriend.”

“Wow.” Stig had never struck him as someone who would get clingy. He had a pretty decent ego and self-confidence. “Do you still love him?”

“No, I still care for him.” Stig rolled his eyes. “Obviously, but I think then I was more in love with the idea of him, the idea of having someone to come home to at night. I want that, but so far, I haven’t been able to find it.”

“It will happen. You have to have faith. How old are you?” Stig was one of those completely groomed and put-together guys who probably had a whole daily skin and nail regime. It made his age hard to judge.

“Thirty-eight,” Stig said with a grimace.

“Really? I would have guessed late twenties.”

“Thanks. I hate nights like this where it’s all about reflection and looking forward. I’ve done what I wanted to career wise. I want to meet a guy. No, that’s wrong. I want to meet
the
guy. But that isn’t something I can control, no matter how many resolutions I put out there.” Stig sighed deeply.

But then he sat up straighter and shook it off. “Oh, good God. Way to be a drama queen.” He pointed at Tommy. “Tonight is about fun. No sad eyes. Do you hear me?” He reached over to the radio, turned on some dance music, and began to shimmy in his seat.

Tommy grinned and shook his head. Stig had some moves, though, even while seat belted into the car. He would have to call up a few friends and see if he could set him...

Wait a minute. Tommy’s mouth dropped open and his gaze swung to Stig. “What the fuck, man? Are you screwing with me?”

Stig winced. “Um, no. This is my ex’s place. He has a huge New Year’s Eve party every year. It’s a tradition. His party planner begins to work on it in the summer. It’s a huge bash. It will be fun. You’ll see.”

They drove up the cobblestone drive of Mac’s house and stopped before the valet parking. Stig handed his keys to the attendant and got out of the car. Tommy just sat there. He wasn’t ready for this. Did Mac know he would be here tonight? If the party had been planned for so long, why hadn’t Mac invited Tommy himself?

Mac had been sick all week. He shouldn’t be going through the stress of a huge party. From the amount of people milling about, this would be a huge one.

Stig opened his door. “Come on. Let the guy do his job.” Stig gestured to the valet in the driver’s seat, looking at Tommy like he was an ill-trained puppy, soiling the carpet.

“Sorry,” Tommy mumbled and then unfolded from the low-slung sports car, his stomach knotted in a jumble of nerves.

Stig grabbed his elbow and began to push Tommy toward the door.

“This isn’t a good idea, Stig. You know what’s been going on. If he wanted me here, he would have invited me.”

Rolling his eyes, Stig gave Tommy another gentle push. “Come on, princess. Your prince awaits. I’m not going to let the two of you screw this up anymore. You’re too perfect for one another. Both too stubborn to see what’s right in front of you.”

A doorman stood at the entrance and opened the door for them as they approached. They entered the house and the party was already in full swing with music pulsing. A coat check area had been set up in the entry. As Tommy shrugged out of his leather jacket, he turned to Stig with raised eyebrows. “You say he does this every year?”

“Yep, and every year it gets a little bit more crazy and extravagant. One year he even had peacocks.”

“Fuck.” As Tommy looked around, the atmosphere looked and sounded more like a nightclub than Mac’s house. There were so many people here he could probably avoid Mac all night long if that’s what he wanted. He had to decide what exactly he wanted. Besides a drink. He wanted—no, needed—that.

Stig abandoned Tommy almost immediately when a twink lured him away to dance. The kid looked barely legal.  Tommy shook his head. The guy wouldn’t find someone looking for a picket fence like that, but it was none of his business.

Tommy had been there, milling about, getting propositioned almost continuously, for about forty-five minutes. Who knew Mac had so many horny friends? But he hadn’t seen Mac, or Stig, or anyone he knew for that matter. And as the crowd became drunker, the less he wanted to be there.

Tommy skirted through the couples making out in the halls of the upper floor and slipped into Mac’s bedroom. Immediately, he smelled Mac’s cinnamon scent. It was like a blow to the gut. That settled it. He wanted to see Mac. Even if it just gave Mac the chance to tell him to get lost once and for all.

He slipped into the back of Mac’s closet, flipping the mechanism that opened the secret door. Thankfully, Mac had shown him this little known shortcut to the library. Closing it behind him, he stilled for a moment in the quiet. The tiny hall was lit by track lighting along the baseboards so he could still see.

What was he doing? He’d fallen in love with Mac. It was New Year’s Eve, and he was hiding out in Mac’s closet. He needed to find the man. Pulling out his cell phone, he texted him. “I’d like to see you tonight.” He pushed send, but all he got was a little spinning wheel. No bars. Fuck, he must be too deep into Mac’s house.

He continued moving down the barely lit hall until he got to the other panel. He flipped the switch and gently pushed the bookcase open to peer into the library. Mac had told him he kept the library locked for parties and that appeared to be true. The space was lit, but empty. Tommy slid from behind the bookcase and closed it with a click and a deep sigh. Even here, he could smell Mac’s lingering scent.

A few of the tableside lamps had been left on, but for the most part the room was quiet and dimly lit. Tommy took the winding staircase down to the lower floor, but paused midway when he spotted the new display in the center of the room. He gasped and grew light-headed.

It was his book, his art, but it was displayed wrong. No one was supposed to see this secret art he’d created in the back. This. This is why he didn’t want to sell this piece. He approached it slowly, his breath becoming choppy. Seeing this private art displayed out in the open... His chest felt flayed wide open.

When he had realized the same guy who’d talked down to him at the book sale had written this book, Tommy had created this piece of art for himself. Only for him. But Mac had found his secret message buried within the last pages.

Tommy reached forward with trembling fingers and traced the letters...

You Determine Your Fate.

Do Epic Shit.

“I didn’t realize until I set it up for display.” Mac’s voice came out of the darkened corner.

Tommy’s heart clenched at the sound of Mac’s voice. “No one knew it was there but me. No one else was supposed to see it, to see that I needed it.”

“You don’t need it, and I’m so sorry that I made you feel that way that day at the library book sale. I was wrong. And I’m sorry for every hurt since then. I don’t mean to, but it seems that I keep hurting you.”

Tommy finally turned, looked at Mac, and his heart skipped. On the surface, Mac looked as ready to party as anyone else here. But Tommy could see the lines of exhaustion, the hint of desperation in his pleading eyes, the emotion. Fuck, he’d missed this man. “We’ve hurt each other, but I think in the long run, it will make our relationship stronger.”

“Relationship? Does that mean we still have one?” Mac took a few hesitant steps forward.

“I sure as hell hope so, because my life is pretty miserable without you in it.”

Pure relief and hope flitted across Mac’s face. “Mine, too. So, where do we go from here?” Mac asked, but his eyes shifted to the side, looking even more unsure of himself than he had before.

“Well, I’m hoping you come over here and kiss me, because I could really use that right now. After that, I need to go kiss the ass of some ex of Stig’s who bought my entire collection so I could put Ryder in a safe hospital.” His voice cracked. Mac had been the one to buy his collection. He should have known. Mac didn’t notice Tommy’s imminent breakdown as he strode over and enveloped Tommy in his arms.

They kissed, their lips entwined and their bodies pressed flush up against each other. This was home. Where he was supposed to be, in this man’s arms. It was more than nice, but then Mac pulled back slightly. “Did you say something about kissing someone’s ass?” he asked with an aroused gleam in his eye.

“Hell, yeah. Well, kissing and probably a little something more. See, it seems that this particular guy likes to be dominated and manhandled. I had no idea, but now that I do, I fully plan to reenact all his fantasies.”

Mac gulped. “All of them?”

“All of them.”

“Does that mean you liked the book?”

“I loved the book, but you changed the ending.” Tommy tilted his head in question. “Why did you do that?”

Mac swallowed. “I never believed in love, the happily ever after. I learned a long time ago that emotions like that would only hurt, even sometimes kill.” Mac glanced away and swiped at his eyes. “So I couldn’t see that as even a possibility for them, Rex and Thomas. My characters are a part of me, and I don’t lie to them or through them. But being with you taught me something. There’s so much love out there. Why can’t it be forever? I want to believe in that dream with you and for them. Rex and Thomas deserve the happily ever after. I’m hoping maybe you and I do, too.”

Tommy began to wind his arms around Mac again, but Mac stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Wait, wait. There’s more. I read you the story so you could see Rex and Thomas through my eyes. To me, my characters are real people. I have to take care of them, just like I would my friends and family. If we do this, you need to understand that writing is my life. It takes over and consumes me. For a few weeks, sometimes even months at a time, I’m a lousy boyfriend. I can’t get past my obsession with what’s happening in my character’s lives. I might as well live in another state during that time, because I check out of my life. Most people can’t live with that, Tommy. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. You need pure happiness in your life from now on, not misery.” Mac’s expression held such a contradiction of emotions...fear and hope.

Tommy needed to sooth all those doubts. “I get it, Mac. I’m an artist, too. I have moments where the process consumes me, too. I’ll make a deal with you, you can take care of me when I’ve checked out to immerse myself into my art, and I’ll do the same for you when you’re immersed in a book.” Tommy swallowed against the emotion as he considered all the different ways Mac had already taken care of him. “We make a good team, taking care of one another. When I think of all you’ve done in the last month...”

Mac shook his head. “I need you to know that’s not why I bought the art or why I read you the book, though. I wasn’t trying to coerce you into a relationship if that’s not what you want.”

Tommy nodded. “I know that, Mac, but maybe...”

“I did it because I love you. I adore you. I admire your incredible talent, your love for your brother, and your passion for books. But most of all, I love you because you challenge me, make me look at the world from a different angle. You keep me grounded, and—”

Tommy cut him off with the press of his lips. At simple touch, Tommy knew he’d come home. It may have taken them a while to find their way here, but this was right. With Mac in his embrace, kissing him like there was no tomorrow, he was at peace. From now on, they would do epic shit...together.

Epilogue

Love in books isn’t the same as it is in real life. In real life there’s more messiness. But that means you can enjoy the moments of very real, pure love all that much more.

-Observations from Tommy AND Mac

Eleven months later...

Mac called Tommy to the front of the room and the crowd quickly quieted down. They were all at the bookstore to celebrate the unveiling of the paperback cover of book six,
The Final Destiny
. The hardback had come out six months before, instantly hitting the bestseller lists with mixed reviews. Some liked the new romantic twist that had gone into this installment. Some of his readers felt betrayed by the change.

As the author, Mac knew he couldn’t change it. He could only write the best novel he could from what the characters told him in his head, and lately, all his characters were suspiciously focused on love.

His publisher had bought
Love is War
,
and they had plans to release it in three months. So there were many fun surprises coming for Mac’s loyal readers.