Found by Love (34 page)

"Boy... You sure have a lot of thoughts going on in that little head of yours huh? I'm not sure where to start so I'll just say this. I want you to always say what's on your mind and I'm so proud of you for telling me how you feel okay?" He looked up at me and nodded but he still seemed so upset. "Caleb is a big boy okay and he can handle you not calling him dad until you're ready to okay? And if you're never ready he's fine with that, too alright?" I pulled him closer to me into a tight hug and squeezed him to me. "He loves you that much to not want you to be uncomfortable with him okay?"

"I know he does and I love him too and he's awesome but I... I heard you two fighting last night and I just got to wondering that maybe you don't like him as much as I thought you did so maybe I shouldn't get too attached to him ya know?" OH MY GOD! I'm so stupid! I should have known that maybe I had woken the kids up. All of his hesitation is all of MY fault! Great!

"Okay so here's the deal with Caleb and I. We fight, argue, call each other names from time to time but there's nothing he can do that'll make me NOT want to be with him. I know you're only 10 years old and don't understand how stupid grown-ups can be but we love each other and ARE going to get married. I'm just not sure when but we are. I'm so sorry you heard all of that last night but Caleb had a very big surprise for me, actually for all of us and I was acting like a little brat about it so he had to tell me what it was earlier than he planned on." He let out a huge sigh and looked up and grinned at me.

"So you guys are fine? You're not breaking up or anything?" I playfully tickled his stomach and laughed.

"No you silly boy! Did your parents not ever argue around you?"

"Sometimes they did. It was always in a funny haha kind of way and you couldn’t tell if they were fighting or not. I only thought people fought when they didn't want to be around each other anymore." Boy! Do Caleb and I have a lot to live up to be half as great as Thomas and Jane.

"Well... I don't know that Caleb and I know how to NOT argue from time to time but I'll try to work on it some to make you feel more comfortable." I started tickling him some more because he couldn't quit grinning at me and by the end of the tickle fest I had him begging for mercy.

"Okay. okay! Mom! Please stop! I give up! I believe you okay?"

"Haha! You better! I love you more than life itself and I love Caleb just as much so the three of us are rock solid."

"I believe you. Hey! What was the surprise that Caleb showed you anyway? Was it a good one?"

"Hmmm. I'm not sure I should tell you or not. Maybe he wants to surprise you too."

"Oh come on mom! I hate surprises! I like to know what's going on and I usually end up figuring them out anyway."

"Oh yeah? Kind of like you announcing at the dinner table that Caleb and I were getting married and giving you a baby brother or sister? Like that?" He immediately turned red and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well maybe I was half right? Or maybe just maybe that's what I wish you guys would do... Maybe?"

"Really? Just like that?? We're getting married and having a baby? We need to discuss what is an acceptable dinner conversation and what should be a private conversation."

"Okay Mom. I get it. So... What's the surprise? Will I like it?" I shook my head at him and stood up and pulled him up and relented.

"I don't know where you got your stubbornness from but I can tell that our life is going to be pretty wild and crazy. Geez! Sometimes looking at you and listening to the things you say is like looking in the mirror." He had a confused look on his face and then a grin.

"You're saying that I got my stubbornness from you right? Haha! Well. At least I now know who I got it from! Haha!"

"Yes goofy! That's exactly what I meant! I'll tell ya what. I'll show you but you have to promise to act surprised when Caleb shows you because that's the only way I'll show you. And you can't breathe a word of it to anybody! Not even Gideon!" He nodded his head at me and grinned.

"Sweet! Give me some knucks Mom!" He put his hand out showing his knuckles and I pressed mine against his and laughed my head off at his excitement.

"Okay. Let's sneak into the elevator but we have to be really quick about it."

We quietly tip toed our way to the elevator and no one saw us and we went all the way to the top floor. He could barely contain his excitement and he looked like he might look on Christmas morning. I know Caleb is probably going to figure out what I've done but having this little secret with my son for just this brief moment is making it all worth it by the look on his face. The elevator door opened and he could barely contain himself and ran out of it and into the big room. He turned around and looked at me with a puzzled look on his face.

"Tada! When you decide to move in with Caleb and I this is where we will be living instead of my house in town. What do you think? I'll let you pick your room out if you want. But…." I pointed to the left of the room. "That is mine and Caleb's room. I'm not giving up that huge bed and there's no way of talking me out of it either. Haha." The look on his face wasn't the one I was expecting. I was looking for a little more enthusiasm out of him but he seems quite sad.

"Oregon isn't going to be temporary is it? What about Mattie? What about my mom and dad? I don't know if I'm ready to leave them yet."

"Well... I've been thinking about that some and I think I've come up with a solution to that but I need your help with the details." He squinted his eyes at me already nervous about what I was about to say.

"What kind of help do you need?" Here goes. My grand scheme that I couldn't quit thinking about ever since I got off of the phone with Mattie.

"What would you think about us trying to talk your Uncle Mattie into moving here?" He seemed excited at the possibility.

"Do you think he would? What about his house? His job? What about Maria? What about my parents? I don't think I could just leave them. I like to go visit them every Sunday and you know that."

"Whoa there. Calm down. We are just in the talking stages right now and I'm sure he could sell his house and find a job out here and Maria? Well... I guess she could find someone else to work for. As far as your parents go? Well. Would you be comfortable with us moving them here? To the cemetery where my brother and niece and nephews are buried? That way they'd be closer to go visit every week?"

He went to sit down on the bed to think about it so I followed him and leaned against the wall while he was deep in thought. He finally looked up at me after a few minutes of having a quiet debate with himself.

"I'm fine with moving my parents here but do you think we can talk Uncle Mattie into moving here? What about... Well. What about Roger and Meredith? Do you think they're really gonna try to get me back?" I sat down in front of him and grabbed his hands into mine and rubbed his cast.

"Grayson, I will do everything I can to keep them from ever getting their hands on you again. We have extra security guards and everyone is watching you like a hawk. You're better protected here baby. I promise!"

"Okay. Let's go pick out my room!" I dropped my head and a tear fell and I hadn't realized that I was praying and hoping that he would agree to move in with us as hard as I was. Now that reality has sunk in I couldn't seem to quit crying. He put his arms around me and hugged me and I hugged him back. "I think my mom and dad wants me here with you and Caleb Mom; and if we can talk Uncle Mattie into moving here that would be even better. It's okay Mom. It'll be alright." I chuckled because it should be me that reassures him instead of the other way around. I looked up and kissed him on the forehead.

"You are such a sweet little man ya know that? Come on. Let's go find you a bedroom buddy!" I grabbed his hand and we headed towards the back where the bedrooms were and both of us couldn't seem to get the grins off of our faces.

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We were on our way back from getting Grayson's puppy and all I heard from the back seat were uncontrollable giggles.

"You don't have to keep licking me ya know. Haha... Stop it! Mom! This dogs a licker! Should I name him licker? Haha!" Caleb busted out laughing and looked in the rear view mirror.

"If you call him that then everyone might think you're talking about a bottle of liquor but it's a good idea. What else are you thinking about? He's your dog so you get to name him."

I looked back at Grayson and he kept looking at his puppy and seemed to be pondering Caleb's question. I looked over at Caleb and grabbed his hand and pulled it to my lips and kissed him on the palm of his hand as he grinned at me.

"What was that for? Don't get me wrong honey; I'm not complaining but what's the occasion?" I entwined his hand in mine and pulled it next to my heart and looked back at Grayson still trying to come up with a name for his puppy and grinned at them and then Caleb.

"Do I have to have a reason to show you my appreciation? I'm just so HAPPY! Can I be happy?" He pulled my hand up to his lips and returned the favor and kissed the inside of my hand which sent shivers down my spine making me remember the shivers he had given me last night.

"I love HAPPY Claudia! I don't know that I've ever seen you look more beautiful than you do this very minute my love. You have a look of contentment on your face and it looks so good on you I must say."

"Yes! I got it! His name is Chewbacca and I'll nickname him Chewie! Yes! That's it! Chewbacca!" I looked back at Grayson and laughed as his newly named puppy licked him all over his face in acceptance of his new name.

"Oh now Grayson! You know I love and I mean LOVE the name buddy! Welcome to the family Chewbacca. I knew you'd come up with a good name for him."

"Yeah I got to thinking about what would fit and I wanted something that would fit all of us and I kept thinking. What would Dad name him? Since you're such a Star Wars fan and you got me to liking the movies too I figured I'd come up with a name from the movies so... Chewbacca! I like it and I think he likes it too!"

I'm not sure that Grayson realized what he had said but I know Caleb sure did and I saw the look on his face as comprehension sank in that Grayson was referring to him as his dad. Caleb had to clear his throat before he could answer him but I knew that Grayson couldn't tell that he choked up when he said it.

"I like it too Son. I like it too." I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed his hand again and cradled his hand against my heart with both of my hands and sighed. He looked over at me with a tear in his eye that slowly slid down his cheek and mouthed 'I love you’. I mouthed it back and squeezed his hand a little tighter against my heart and reached up to wipe the silent tear off of his cheek as he leaned into my hand and smiled.

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Later that night, after dinner, Caleb and I were cuddled up in bed together and I couldn't for the life of me get him to quit thinking about what Grayson said to him at bedtime. I was drawing little invisible circles around his nipples and then his tattoo but he still wouldn't get the shit eating grin off of his face.

"Is this how you felt the first time he called you Mom? I really don't know what to say other than I'm so happy I'm speechless."

"Haha... I can tell and yes. That's exactly how I felt but I think I had a few more tears that I dealt with as well. Happy tears of course."

Grayson and Gideon seem to be inseparable and tonight they're sleeping in Grayson's room with both of their puppies snuggled in bed with them. We went to tuck them in and to give them a hug and kiss and Gideon was his usual self telling us goodnight and he loved us but Grayson said goodnight Mom AND Dad as he said I love you. By the time we made it back to our bedroom Caleb was grinning while happy tears rolled down his cheeks.

"This morning he was quite confused about calling you Dad or not because he overheard us fighting last night and thought we were going to break up."

"What? Why did he think we were going to break up? Do you want to break up?" That got his attention because he rose up on his elbows and looked like he was about to cry again.

"What? No! Of course I don't but evidently Thomas and Jane rarely fought and when he heard our big commotion last night he thought we were done. Needless to say I made sure that he knew that that's just how we were and that we are fine."

"Well then we just have to quit fighting in front of him."

"Well technically we weren't fighting in front of him he just overheard it."

"Because you were screaming so you're gonna have to quit being so loud. I mean good lord Claudia... Look at what all he's gone through this year. We should be better role models for him than we obviously have been."

"Now wait a minute. I think we are great role models. Granted we may not be Ward and June Cleaver like Thomas and Jane Brown seemed to be but I would say we are pretty good parents if I do say so myself."

The last thing I wanted to do tonight was fight with him so I lowered my voice and shoved him back down onto his pillows and leaned over him and gave him a kiss to get his mind on something else. He pushed me away gently and grinned at me.