Four Summers (16 page)

When she comes back, she’s wearing a white button up shirt, and a pair of shorts.

Damn. No answers yet.

We get out on the boat a few minutes later. Alec drives and that pisses me off, because it's totally rational that everything he does annoys the hell out of me, right? We go down the lake for a while before he pulls the boat up next to another set of docks. It’s way quieter out here without all the people from the cabins swimming and hanging around.

They turn on some music and people pull out beers and we’re all hanging out and having a good time. A little while later some people jump in the water. Alec, Sadie, Brandon, Mike, Danielle, and Brice are all swimming while me, Charlotte and two other people are on the boat.

“Nate! Go swimming with me!” Danielle calls from the water. “It’s fun!”

Guilt slithers its way through me and then I wonder what I have to feel guilty for. “Nah. I’m good for now.”

Looking over, I see that Charlotte is gone. I’m hoping like hell she’s decided it’s time to swim. Yeah, I seem to have a one track mind right now, but I’m sure every other guy here is glad to see all the girls in their bikinis.

I spot her sitting on the dock, wearing a white hat. Shaking my head, I walk over and sit next to her. “Why aren’t you swimming?”

“Why aren’t you swimming? Danielle wants to go with you.”

I lean over, right next to her ear. “Danielle’s not the girl I want out there with me.”

Charlotte shivers and I like that I can do that to her, so I speak again, so close to her. “Go swimming with me, Star Girl.”

Her eyes go wide and she looks at me, before smirking. “You don’t play fair.”

I know she means that she realizes I’m flirting with her. I love that she’s not afraid to call me on it.

“Come swimming with me,” I say again.

She looks down, the shyness coming out in her again. “I don’t…I don’t look like they do in my bikini, Nathaniel.”

Wow. Didn’t see that coming. Maybe I should have. “Who gives a shit about them.”

“Boys.”

That makes me wonder who’s seen her in a bikini (or less) and what they said to her about it. “Come on, it’s just me.” I nudge her.

“Pfft.” She nudges me back. “But it’s not just you.”

“Would it make a difference if it were just me?”

She doesn’t hesitate to say, “I think so.”

I smirk at her and flick the white hat off her head. “Then we’ll do that later. But for now...” I grab her. She tries to fight me off, but I’m not about to let go. I manage to get her in my arms and head straight for the water.

“Nathaniel!” Charlotte screams. “We’re both dressed!”

“I’m in my swimming trunks.” Not like I’ve ever swam in my shirt, but I’ll make an exception to get her in the water with me. She’s still complaining, but she’s not fighting me too much. It’s getting hard to hold onto her so I rush with her into the water. When she slips out of my arms, I grab her hands and keep pulling her with me.

She’s laughing and I’m laughing and I keep going out farther and farther with her. If I wanted to, I could let go of her. She’s moving with me now, but I keep her in my arms as we get out to where neither of us can touch. “Don’t go anywhere.” I grin at her before ducking under the water and coming back up again. I shake my head, water droplets splashing her, and then she goes under and pops back up again.

I can’t help but look down and see the way the white shirt molds to her skin. I see the yellow outline beneath.

Charlotte follows my eyes down. She knows I’m looking. We’re close, just bobbing in the water, my arms around her and there’s a drop of water on her lip that I really want to lick off.

“Charlotte,” I whisper and—

“—Hell yeah! ‘Bout time my little brother got in the water!” Brandon yells before splashing water at me.

“I’m going to kill him,” I say to Charlotte. And it’s not because he splashed me, either. He interrupted my time with her.

“Go swimming with me,” I say again in Charlotte’s ear after we finish the water fight. Most of the people are heading back to the boat, but I’m not ready to get out yet.

“We are swimming.” She ducks under the water, and when she comes back up, she’s facing me.

“Then follow me before they turn around.” They have their backs to us right now as they head for the shore. I wouldn’t put it past Alec to try to drag her out, so I head off in the opposite direction as the boat. The shore comes out a little bit so if we go on the other side of it, we’ll be out of sight from the boat.

Charlotte is right behind me as we swim into the little hideaway. “What are we doing?”

“Don’t know.” It’s an honest answer. “I just didn’t feel like being around everyone else. I wanted to swim with you.” She swims closer to me and again I notice how the shirt hugs her. “What happened, Star Girl? Who said something to you?”

She shakes her head and turns away, but I move to the side, so I’m in front of her again. “You don’t have to tell me…”

“It’s not really that big a deal.”

The water is shallower here and I’m able to touch the ground. I can tell Charlotte can’t so I put my arms around her waist. Hers automatically wrap around my neck.

“I went out with this guy from school last year—”

“You had a boyfriend?” When she starts to pull away, I amend, “Shit. I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t, it’s just…I didn’t know.”

“You would have known if we'd been talking.”

I nod because I would have. If I hadn’t cut her out. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. But, anyway…we only went out like twice. We went to the drive-ins and we were kissing…”

My body tenses up. I try to relax because it shouldn’t get to me like this, but it does. “What happened?” I make myself ask because I want her to know she can talk to me, even though I’m going to hate hearing it.

She bobs in the water a little before saying. “He put his hand up my shirt and well…obviously, I have the world's smallest boobs and—”

“They’re not
that
small.” Her cheeks turn pink and I realize I just admitted to checking her out. “Tell me what happened, Star Girl.”

She chews her bottom lip for a second before she says, “I pulled away. I know it makes me sound like a prude, but…I just don’t want some guy I hardly like feeling me up.”

“You don’t sound like a prude.” Take that, fucker.

“Anyway, he got pissed and when we got home, he told me he didn’t want to go out with my anymore. I didn’t really care. It was one of those things that happened because...I don’t really know. I guess it was nice to have a boyfriend. I don’t really date. The next day at school, he’d spread all these rumors about feeling me up and about how small I was.”

Anger bursts inside me. “Fuck him. I’d kick his ass if—”

“Alec did,” she interrupts.

I try to hold back a groan, but I can’t help it. Of
course
he did. Alec cares enough about her to do things like that for her and he’s here to always do them. I’m suddenly shaking a little. It sucks not being able to protect her. To know Alec will and that he thinks it’s his job to protect her from me too.

I don’t let myself think about the words, just lean my forehead against hers and say, “If I had been here, I would have been the one to kick his ass for you.”

“I know…because you’re like, my best friend, right?” she asks, and I nod even though it feels off. They aren't big enough words.

“But you’re weren’t here… You’ll never really be here.”

There’s a truth to her words that I hate. Instead of thinking about that, I brush my hand along her hip. “Why do you think Alec didn’t care if you went out with him, anyway? I can’t even talk to you without him being a prick.”

Her answer is simple, easy, and she doesn’t shy away from it. “Because he knew I didn’t really like Thomas.”

My pulse jumps. She likes me. This totally cool girl who I would do anything for. Who trusts me with her secrets and who makes me forget for the first time in months. I knew it last year, but this doesn’t feel the same. It feels like more.

“I wish things could be different.” I push the wet strands of her hair behind her ear. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you look. You’re beautiful.”

She gasps. I can’t stop myself from leaning forward and taking her mouth. I’m used to the feel of her by now. I know the way she moves and how she tastes. She was so tentative the first few times, but now she’s opening up for me right away and pushing closer and I want her closer than anyone has ever been.

My mouth slips from her lips, trails down her neck, and I lick water from her skin. Charlotte fists her hand in my hair and her body quivers, making me pull back a little because I never want to push her.

Our foreheads come together again and we just stand there in the water, me holding her up while she has her arms wrapped around my neck. The mood darkens, sadness creeping into her features. “Don’t be upset.” I’m not exactly sure why she’s so sad; I just know she is.

“I’m going to miss you,” Charlotte whispers.

I pull her tighter against me. “We’ll still be here a couple more weeks. And we’ll talk this time. I won’t be stupid.”

That makes her laugh. “Boys seem to have a problem with that.”

“Low blow.”

“Do you ever talk to her?” she asks. “The girl who got hurt?”

I sigh, thinking back to when I emailed her. “After we moved, I messaged her once. I just wanted to check in, ya know? But she said she wanted to forget about it. They were moving, too, I guess. She took a lot of shit. People blamed her. Adam has this promising future and all that bullshit.”

“People suck.” For the first time, Charlotte leans forward and kisses me. It’s quick, her lips briefly touching mine. “You did the right thing, though. Not that I’m surprised.”

“Charlie!” Alec’s voice shouts from the direction of the boat.

“Douchebag!” my brother yells, too.

“He’s such an idiot.” I shake my head.

“I guess we better go back,” Charlotte says.

“Unless we want Alec over here, we do.”

She rolls her eyes. “I know he’s an idiot sometimes, but… He loves me.”

I must frown because she continues, “Not
loves
me, loves me, but we’ve always been a part of each other's lives.”

And they always will.

I won’t.

I get it.

“Nate!” Brandon yells again.

I turn to Charlotte. “Come on, I’ll race you back.” But her words are a weight tied to me, holding me back, pulling me under.
We’ll always be a part of each other’s lives…

The next couple weeks fly by. Charlotte and I sneak out every night. Sometimes I kiss her and sometimes I don’t. I remember every time Roxi and I got together, we made out. It’s not that I don’t want to do the same with Charlotte. It’s not like I don’t want to do a whole lot more with her, but we talk a lot too. I enjoy talking to her and listening to her and I know she tells me things she doesn’t share with anyone else.

I also really, really want to keep kissing her. It’s in my mind way more than it probably should be.

It’s our last night at The Village and Charlotte and I are meeting early. I told her we don’t have to because I don’t want her to get caught, but when she tells me it would be worth it, I smile. There’s this sense of urgency scratching at my skin. Both of us know this could be the last time we see each other. My parents could decide to go somewhere else next year or not take a vacation at all and, hell, we’re sixteen. How do you know what the future holds?

She plans to end up with Alec one day and the thought makes me feel like I’m breaking apart, so I try not to think about it.

When we meet, she has a bag with her, but it’s not the one she usually carries with her telescope in it. I take her hand and she squeezes my fingers, but Charlotte stops me when I move to head toward the woods.

“Let’s go somewhere different,” she tells me. I nod because tonight, I would follow her anywhere.

We head the direction where we’ve sat by the lake a million times. The first place I talked to her our first summer. Charlotte keeps going and I keep following. We walk for at least a half hour down the lake. We turn, following the water around a corner, which makes it feel more secluded.