Fox Mate (Madison Wolves) (34 page)

Scarlett smiled. "You didn't kill her."

"Not directly. It would have been kinder. I thought the female would help her daughter. I came back a week later, just to see how the girl was doing on her own. I knew the female would have died. And that worthless bitch had crawled her way to the car and climbed in, trying to start it, but she didn't bother untying her daughter first. The girl was tied to the post, dead."

I was crying again. "She was Kaylee's age. She even looked a little like Kaylee does. And I killed her."

Angel and Lara both tried to comfort me, but I didn't deserve comforting. I had killed that little girl, maybe not by my own hands, but it was my fault she died.

"Michaela," Vivian asked, "w
as the mother in any shape to free her daughter?"

"I thought so," I said between sobs. "I thought so."

"You did not kill her, Michaela," Vivian said. "You didn't save her, but you did not kill her."

I looked at her. "I don't know if I will ever believe that."

She nodded understanding.

I looked up at Lara, and she was watching me carefully. "That's who you wanted to marry," I said. "Someone who would leave little Kaylee to die."

I looked at Francesca. "That's who is teaching the kids. Someone who would leave Kaylee to die."

"What happened next," Vivian asked.

"Next?" I stared at her, dully.

"Yes.
What happened next?"

"I-" I thought about it. "I ran. I ran west. I ended here. Madison first, but not long. Madison isn't such a haven for foxes."

Lara tightened her lips but didn't comment.

"I stole. I stole clothes. I stole money. I studied. And then I went north, to Ashland, far from the wolves here. I couldn't find any wolves living in Ashland. I set new traps, and I set trails to those
traps, but no wolves came after me, and after I had been there for months, that's when I interrupted that rape. And, I guess you all know the rest. I got a job, a menial job, but I learned, and they let me do more, and I learned more. I lived wild, but the man whose daughter I saved, he found a place for me to live, and he paid for it for me for a while until I could take care of myself. And I forgot, I forgot so much. I don't know when I forgot, but I did.

"I didn't remember my babies, or killing so many wolves, or being a hunter. I forgot my brother
, and so, so many deaths. But I remember all of them now. My brother's death is my fault."

"No!" said Vivian. "Your brother's death rests squarely on the wolves who hunted him and no
one else."

"But if I hadn't-"

"You didn't kill him. You didn't hunt him. The wolves did, Michaela."

"I don't
know if I will ever really believe that," I said.

She nodded understanding.

"I regret Tyler's death, and that I didn't warn Jimmy and Jean, and Jimmy and his family died because of it."

"No!" Vivian said. "They died because those wolves were on the hunt. A fox was going to die that day, and it wasn't you because you didn't draw attention to yourself, but that's it. The wolves kill
ed Jimmy and his family, not you."

"I don't have any regrets about the wolves who hunted me."

"Good," said Lara. "Good riddance."

"But the little girl. How can you love me? I left her there!"

"You left her with her mother," Lara said. "Yes, her mother was dying, but her parents should have been parents, not... I don't even know what to call it. You don't leave your young unprotected. I don't know who could do that. Michaela, I can't leave you unprotected, and you may be more capable of protecting yourself than anyone I know."

"You have to hate me, Lara!" I screamed. "You can't love me!"

And then she pulled me into her arms, and when I resisted, she pulled me in anyway.

"I will never hate you,
Little Fox," she said. And then Angel was there, and Scarlet, and Elisabeth, and after a moment, Francesca, and they all held me while I cried.

They took turns telling me they loved me, all of them. Well, not Vivian. We didn't have that kind of relationship. She sat quietly, waiting for me to need her again.

"We love you," they said. "I love you," they each said.

And slowly I thought, maybe it was true, after all of that, maybe they did.

I looked at Vivian. "Are they lying to me?"

"No," she said.

And I let them hold me, and I let them soothe me. I thought, maybe, I could let them love me.

I loved all of them.

I didn't know if I could love myself.

I told that last part to Vivian.

"I know," she said. "That will take time. You are loved, though."

I took a deep breath. "I guess I'm done now."

"There's more," Vivian said.

"A lot more, I suppose, but this was everything that mattered."

"How about the arsenal?"

"That's nothing. I buy the knives. I silver coat them myself. It's not hard. I used to spend all my money on it."

"Why?" Vivian asked. "You are here in Wisconsin. There are no more fox hunts. You haven't been hunted in nine years. You are safe."

I stared at her and didn't respond.

"No wolves here would do a fox hunt," Scarlett said. "She's right."

I didn't respond. Lara had grown quiet. So had Elisabeth. And Vivian was watching me. She had guessed the truth.

Angel started to cry. "Who hunted you here? Michaela! Who?"

"It doesn't matter, Angel." I said. "Please don't cry. The last time was before you met me."

"How recently?" Lara asked in a tight voice.

"Three years ago. Ancient history. And two years before that." I thought back. "And once, shortly after I moved to Ashland."

"Our wolves hunted you?" Angel said
, horror filling her face. "No."

"I'm sorry."

"No!" she said, and she turned to me, and she started banging her fists against my chest. "Say it's not true! Our wolves wouldn't hunt you!"

"Angel, stop!" I said. "You are hurting me!"

"Oh god!" she said, collapsing.

Lara started to growl. "Stop it, Lara." I turned to Angel and pulled her into my arms. "It was long ago, before you knew me. They're
all gone. Just a few bad apples; there are some in every barrel. They're gone."

I was having a little trouble breathing. She'd cracked some ribs.

"Scarlett," I said. "Take her."

Scarlett pulled Angel from my arms. I climbed from the sofa, nearly falling over, and tried to breath
e, then concentrated on my ribs. I felt with my hands, looking for the cracks, and almost cried out.

Lara began growling again, but leapt to her feet and pulled me to her.

"Stop it, I have to heal, let me heal," I said, but she was squeezing me, and it hurt. I felt another rib give. "Elisabeth, help!"

Then Elisabeth was there. "Lara! Lara! You are hurting her! Let her go. Lara!"

Lara's growls grew louder, and she pulled me tighter. I heard another crack. I screamed, and that made Lara pull tighter.

"Oh god, help me, Elisabeth."
I could barely get the words out.

"Lara!" she screamed. "Lara! You are killing your mate!"

I couldn't breathe. It hurt. But Elisabeth got through to Lara, slowly. She peeled Lara's arms off me, and I collapsed. Lara tried to pick me up.

"No! Let her heal!" Elisabeth screamed. "Lara! Stop it!"

I lay on my side, gasping, and then I shifted, and my ribs were still cracked, and I shifted back, and it was a little better, but my clothes were all tangled. But I could breathe again, and I concentrated on each rib, one at a time, using my hands to find the cracks, and I felt more cracks as they realigned.

Elisabeth continued to forcibly keep Lara away from me, and slowly I could breathe better.

I climbed to my hands and knees. Angel was sobbing, Scarlett holding her away from me, and Francesca also, standing behind the sofa. I laid my head in Angel's lap.

"I'm okay, almost," I said, painfully. "Oh god, Angel, you don't know your own strength."

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Hush," I said. "It heals. It was just a few cracks until someone went insane."

I looked up, and Lara's eyes were wild, struggling with Elisabeth.

"Lara!" I screamed. "Stop it!"
It hurt to yell, but her gaze switched to me. "Stop it," I said right into her face. "Control yourself. You are the alpha, not some brainless thug."

It took a moment, but I
saw the wildness leave her eyes, and she stopped struggling with Elisabeth.

"Help me stand," I said. "Gently."

Elisabeth turned to me after making sure Lara would behave, and she gently pulled me up. I swayed, and she steadied me. I took a breath. It hurt. Everyone heard the crack, but then the last rib settled back into place. The next few breaths were easier.

I reached over and caressed Angel, then turned to Lara and slowly stepped into her arms.

"Gentle," I said. "I still hurt."

Slowly she put her arms around me, and she was gentle. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I heard your ribs crack." Then she glared past me at Angel and began to growl.

"Knock it off!" I told her. "If I need you to defend me, I will tell you. Knock it off!"

The growl faded, slowly.

I took another deep breath, felt one more crack, and then I thought my ribs were healed.

Elisabeth was staring at me. "You just healed a cracked ribcage."

"Yep. I'm going to collapse shortly. That took more than the silver burn. Lara, let me sit down."

She helped me
take my seat then sat back down. Elisabeth eyed her and retreated to her own chair. I reached for the food platter and began chowing down.

I didn't realize they were staring until I was almost full.

"What?" I said. "God, you guys eat like pigs, but I show one sign of an appetite, and you stare?"

They all looked away, but they were smirking.

I turned to Angel once I felt better. She refused to meet my gaze, so I reached out and grabbed her chin, facing her towards me. "I love you. Stop this. You were upset. I am fine."

"I almost killed you!"

"No, you did not. Lara did. But you did finally crack a couple of bones like you threatened yesterday."

"That's not funny!"

I smiled. "Sure it is, in a really sick, twisted, dark way. And I am going to keep saying sick, twisted, dark things until you accept my acceptance of your apology."

She ran that through her head
at least twice, and then I pulled her into a hug. She was very gentle. I didn't correct her.

I turned to Lara, and she was having the same problem. I turned her to face me. "Kiss me," I ordered.

She looked away.

"Lara! Kiss me! Now!"

She turned to face me. "Or tell me you don't want me anymore, and I'll leave."

"Mine!" she screamed, and then her mouth was on mine, her arms around me, and she was firm, but gentle at the same time.

I let her ravage my mouth. She tasted good. Salty. Or maybe that was me.

I pulled away. "Thank you," I said. "Does that mean you still want to marry me?"

"Yes," she said.

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

"Good. Alpha, I must confess to six murders
in your territory."

No one said everything at first, and I watched Lara carefully as she considered how to respond. She glanced once at Elisabeth, then at Vivian, and found some answer from both of them.

"Were they all hunting you?" she asked me.

"Yes.
"

"Elisabeth, how long has it been pack policy that the lesser weres were to be safe in our territory?"

"Mom campaigned for it. Dad made it pack law two years before-"

Vivian spoke up "Seventeen years," she said.

"What is the sentence for someone caught breaking that policy?"

"It depends on
the depth of the infringement," explained Elisabeth. "Harassment starts with a visit from me. But if they are actively engaged in hunting or killing other weres, the penalty is death."

"What happened," Lara asked her, "after the incident in the bar last summer?"

"David was still the head enforcer," Elisabeth said. "He handled it. He visited the most egregious offenders and had a chat with them."

"Chat?" I asked. "A chat?"

"That was a euphemism," Lara said, "for 'he beat the crap out of them'."

"The less egregious offenders received a friendlier visit," Elisabeth explained.

Lara turned to me. "If the wolves you killed were hunting you, that is considered a death challenge, and you are fully justified in killing them. If they were hunting other weres, then you were justified in stopping them, and if you had reported it to me instead of killing them yourself, I would have executed them personally."

I pulled away and looked at her. "I hid the evidence, made it look like other things had happened. The first one, he may not have been yours. He stumbled on me. He was deathly stupid. I helped him get run over by a semi truck. The second one was in the winter. They tried to catch me while I was out doing my job. I killed them both with silver, then dragged them back into their cars and drove out onto the ice. I brought skis, and I knew where the ice would be thin. I got close to where it was thin, then I set the cruise control and jumped out after tossing my skies out. I didn't see it go in, but open water was only another mile and a half
further."

"Shit," Scarlett said. "Do NOT piss off the fox."

"The third one, three years ago, I set a trail into Minnesota, made it look like they had used their credit cards there. But their bodies will never be found. I now submit to your judgment."

"Shut up," she said. "If they tried to hunt you, they broke my laws. Thank you for taking care of the vermin for me."

"In all fairness, the last ones weren't after me." I looked away. "I caught them hunting some other weres."

"What weres?" Elisabeth asked.

"I. Um."

"What?"

"If you don't know about them," I said, "I don't want to tell you."

She smiled. "We know about every were living in Wisconsin."

"These particular weres have a nice little cabin on a little lake near Tomahawk."

"Beavers," Elisabeth said. "Fred and. Um. Jane."

"Janet," Lara said.

I nodded. "I caught the wolves setting traps."

"They may have been after other things," Elisabeth said.

"Are we forgetting I have ears and know how to use them?"

She smiled. "You are sure?"

"Is the term 'were
beaver stew' too vague?"

"Fuck," said Lara. "God damn it! I am tired of fighting this."

"Oh do not take that tone with me," I told her.

Everyone stared at me, and the tension broke. It wasn't really funny, but we all laughed together.

"Do you have their names?" Elisabeth asked. "In case people are looking for them."

"Sorry," I said. "I never cared about names. I would have emptied the cash from their wallets, but I wouldn't have bothered with looking at identification."

We sat quietly for a minute, everyone lost in thought.

"Well," I said eventually. "This was fun. Who had fun? Raise your hands!"

No one thought I was funny all of a sudden. "Fickle crowd," I muttered.

I stood up, stretched, felt one rib pop. "Ow. Damn it. I have a question. Am I crazy?"

I looked around the room. "No," said Lara.

"Am I off the suicide watch list?"

For that, she turned to Vivian. "Yes," she said. "But you are on the daily therapy session list."

I l
ooked into her face and nodded. "Now that I remember, will I forget again?"

"I don't think so," Vivian said. "Unless something exceedingly traumatic causes it. But you have an awful lot to work out, and remembering it is just a start."

"Do you have reservations with the alpha marrying me?" I asked her.

"Small reservations," Vivian admitted. "I would rather I had a couple of years of solid progress on your mental health. But I think you're going to be okay. If you don't start avoiding me again."

"I won't," I said. "Lara, this wedding day has sucked. Do you want to postpone?"

She looked up at me, and there was pain in her eyes.

"If you want to postpone, I will understand," I told her. "It's been a sucky day. On the other hand, if there needs to be another bride ransom thing, I bet I can outlast you."

She began to growl.