Foxfire Bride (37 page)

Closing her eyes, she turned her face against the warmth of his skin. He smelled faintly of river water and man sweat. "There's no such thing as a new start. People can't shake off the past like shaking mud off a boot. It's part of what and who we are, Tanner."

"I'm trying to tell you it doesn't matter."

"And I'm telling you that it does. Your father's opinion and approval are important to you, and I admire that. What son doesn't want his father's love and approval?" She waited a moment for the tightness in her throat to recede. "And there's something I have to do." Turning in his arms, she lifted to look into his eyes. "I have to do this, Tanner. I have to. If I fail, then I don't have that sense of duty and honor that you spoke of."

"Do it. I'll help you. Then, whatever this is, we'll put it behind us and look forward."

She dropped her forehead to his chin. "It can't happen that way."

"You don't have to kill him, Fox."

She stiffened in his arms. Of course he would guess.

"We can go to the authorities."

"I can't prove anything," she whispered. "My mother's cousin died. Peaches is the only other person who knows the truth. He was there the day I arrived. He saw my stepfather and he knows him by sight. Do you really think the authorities will believe the claims of a woman and a black man?" She shook her head.

"You've implied that your stepfather is a prominent man. At the very least you could create a damaging scandal."

She almost laughed. "Can you really think that would be enough?" Rolling away, she sat up and drew her knees to her chin, her eyes turning hard as ice. "Never! There were times when me and Peaches went hungry, Tanner." She thrust her hands out in front of her. "Every one of these calluses were earned by hard labor. I've been shot, beaten, humiliated. I've had to be tougher than any woman you ever met just to survive." She gave her head a savage shake. "No. Embarrassing that bastard with a scandal is not enough! I want him dead! That's all I've thought about for years and years."

"Fox"

"I should have killed him long ago. But I let his wealth and power intimidate me. And I didn't want to pay the price. Then, right before I met you, I decided the price wasn't too high. Dying to achieve justice is not too high a price!"

"And you still feel that way?" he asked in a carefully expressionless voice.

It would hurt him to hear that she put revenge above her love for him, and it would pain her to say it. But God help her, that was the truth.

"I have to do this." It surprised her that her heart could break without making a sound. Dropping her head, she ground her forehead against the top of her knees. "I wish but I have to do this," she repeated. Behind her, she heard him dressing. Glanced to the side when he dropped her clothing beside her.

"Tell me one thing, then I won't bother you with this again. If it wasn't for your stepfather, could we have worked out the rest? Could you have accepted my assurances that none of the other obstacles mattered?"

"Maybe," she said after a minute. "It would have been hard to know I caused an estrangement between you and your father."

"You wouldn't have been the sole cause."

Fox nodded before rising and pulling on her trousers. His father would be furious to learn that his plans for Tanner's future would never happen. But maybe, eventually, he'd come around.

They didn't speak again until they were almost in camp. Then Fox glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. "You never answered my question about why you work for Hobbs Jennings instead of for your father."

"The answer doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Stopping beside the fire, Tanner led her gently into his arms and held her. "Is there any chance you'll change your mind and let go of the past?"

A film of moisture blurred his face. "No." He made something impossible sound so easy. Just let it go. He might as well have asked her to simply forget about a cancer gnawing her heart.

His arms closed around her so strongly it was almost painful and he gazed into the darkness with narrowed eyes and a tight mouth. "Will you do one thing for me?"

"I'll try."

"I'm going to pay the ransom and I'll remain in Denver until I'm certain my father has suffered no ill effects. Then I'm coming back to this valley. Can you wait two weeks to kill the son of a bitch? Until after I've gone?" Now he looked down at her. "I don't want to be there for the aftermath."

Slowly, Fox nodded. If their positions had been reversed, she couldn't have borne to see him hanged either. "I can do that."

He kissed her gently then set her away from him and walked into the darkness.

Fox hadn't cried in years. She'd come close a few times, but always she'd been able to swallow back the tears. Tonight, she couldn't. She lay in her bedroll with a corner of the blanket clamped in her mouth to muffle any sound and wept for all the might-have-beens. Wept for the loss of a future she'd never been destined to have.

Traversing the first set of canyons was as difficult and dangerous as Fox had predicted it would be. For part of the challenge they traveled on damp ground a few feet from raging waters. Several times they ascended narrow rock ledges that rose high above the river.

Once, Tanner looked down and could not see the ledge beneath his horse. It appeared that his leg dangled in midair. He didn't look down again. Ahead were the mules, free of the tether line for safety's sake, and in front of them, Jubal Brown. Jubal rode frozen in a hunched position, his gazed fixed straight ahead. Peaches rode in front of Jubal, undoubtedly trying desperately not to cough, and in front as always, Fox led the way. From his position at the rear, Tanner could see only her hat, but her hat told him that she rode as always, straight in the saddle, one hand on the mustang's reins, the other on her hip. The woman was fearless, he thought. If she could face this heart-stuttering trail with her spine straight, he could do no less. Grinding his teeth, he straightened in the saddle, trusting the bay to find sure footing.

After what seemed an endless day, they emerged from the canyons into a lush low area thick with wild currants and good grass. Tanner was hot, tired, thirsty, and still tense as wire.

Jubal slid off his horse and leaned against its side, closing his eyes. "Jesus. I don't ever want to do that again."

Fox unbuckled the cinch then swung her saddle off the mustang, removed the bridle and gave him a pat on the rear before she turned him out to enjoy the tall grass. "We'll hit the next set of canyons the day after tomorrow," she said cheerfully, grinning at Jubal's groan. Then her gaze settled on Peaches and her smile vanished.

Peaches still sat on his horse, his chin on his chest and his eyes closed. A dribble of blood leaked from the corner of his mouth.

Fox and Tanner reached him at the same instant. "I'll get his boots out of the stirrups, you catch him," Fox said.

Tanner carried Peaches to the shade near a thicket of currants and wild roses, surprised by how little the man weighed. Carefully, he placed him on the ground.

"Thank you," Peaches croaked. "Feel like a damned idiot."

The next coughing attack seemed to go on forever. At the finish, Peaches fell back against a boulder, exhausted. "Can I get you anything?" Tanner asked.

"Here," Fox said, pushing past him. "Here's some cold water." Tearing her bandanna from her throat, she mopped Peaches's forehead, and the blood at his lips. After glancing at his shaking hands, she took the cup and held it to his mouth. "You're scaring me bad, old man," she said softly.

Peaches looked at her so long and lovingly that Tanner stepped backward, feeling as if he intruded on their privacy.

"Can we have biscuits tonight for supper?" Peaches asked.

Fox smiled. "If you wanted fried alligator, I'd go find you one, kill it, and bring it back here."

"Never liked alligator."

Her fingertips brushed his cheek. "I'll bet you never tasted alligator in your life. But you'll get those biscuits."

"I'm going to take a little nap 'fore supper," he said, patting her hand.

"Good. I'll wake you when the biscuits are ready. I'll even butter them for you."

"Right out to the edge," Peaches murmured with a smile.

Standing, Fox blinked hard then walked into Tanner's arms and stood there trembling, her forehead pushed against his chest.

There was nothing to say that wouldn't be a lie or that wouldn't devastate her. All he could do was hold her and try not to think about what might be happening to his own father.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered. "We're days from any settlement, any real bed where he could rest. There's nothing in the medical kit that can help him." Swearing, she pounded her fists against Tanner's chest. "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!"

Jubal Brown came up beside them, favoring his left leg and limping. "I brought you some coffee." He gave them the cups, his eyes on Peaches. "He's not going to make it, Fox."

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

"He's got courage, that old man." Jubal pursed his lips. "He took those canyons without flinching. I thought sure as hell he'd cough himself right over the edge of the ledges." He gave Fox's arm an awkward pat. "I'll start supper."

Fox stared at Peaches, the coffee forgotten in her hand. "What am I going to do?" she whispered. "He's always been there."

Tanner wrapped his arms around her.

The next day was easy riding, thank God, with relatively flat terrain and only a few creeks to cross, nothing difficult. Still, Fox kept turning in her saddle to check on Peaches. He seemed marginally better today, which she prayed was a good sign. Puffs of white clouds drifted across the sun off and on so it wasn't as hot, and she called an extra rest stop in mid-afternoon, hoping that would help.

She knew he'd had a fitful night, waking exhausted and drenched from the night sweats, his skin a dull yellowish tint, and it looked to Fox as if he was losing hair at an alarming rate.

After supper, she sat next to him, drinking coffee and turning her face to the cool breeze coming off the river.

"How are you doing?"

"Thirsty all the time, and cold at night. Otherwise, never felt better," Peaches said.

"Well, you look like hell," Fox said, pretending she didn't notice his hands shaking as he raised his coffee to his lips. And pretending that his voice didn't sound hollow, and that his eyes weren't overly bright with a fever that none of the remedies she'd tried could bring down.

"I expect I do," he said, smiling. Then his expression turned serious. "What are you going to do about Mr. Tanner, Missy? That man loves you."

She pushed the heels of her boots into the loose shale and frowned. "He's never said so."

"You figure high in the plans he's making."

She listened to the gasping breaths he took between words and worried herself sick. "I can't," she said while he rested from coughing. "And you know why. I have something to do. Besides, I'd just shame him." Firelight flickered on Tanner's face where he and Jubal sat over the chessboard. Jubal Brown was the only man present she could look at without feeling her heart crack.