Fractured Light (11 page)

Because of our sudden closeness, I almost asked her about the lab fire incident, but whenever I tried to bring it up, she quickly changed the subject. I figured when she was ready she’d tell me, and when that time came, I’d have to tell her why my hair never changed.

The thought of sharing my secret with someone was both exciting and liberating. Exciting because my aunt had told me it was strictly forbidden and for some reason I just didn’t feel like obeying her, and liberating because it sucked keeping this secret. I could talk to Jake about it, but he was a man and barely understood me as it was.

My new social skills turned out to be a major help on the basketball team. I thought my weakened state would make my teammates beg the coach to kick me off the team, but because I was reaching out, they actually defended me to the coach.

Leah had said, “Come on, Coach. Look at her. You can tell she’s not feeling well. At least she’s trying.”

The coach gave some sort of snort/grunt meaning I could keep playing. It was amazing how just being open and friendly to others endeared you to them. It made life so much easier.

Then there was the book club. I thought nothing would ever compare to my love for sports, but I was wrong. Book club had turned out to be more than I expected. Not only was I gaining new friends, but I was learning a lot about the world through the books we were reading. There were six of us that went to book club. In addition to Matt, there was Tracey, Anna, Stephanie, and Ryan. Each was unique and I loved figuring out what made them tick. It was like being a mind explorer, uncovering both their weaknesses and strengths.

Of all the new changes that had occurred, Christian was the one I couldn’t do without. He had become like my favorite pair of jeans. I didn’t mind wearing other pants, but whenever I wore them, I always found myself wishing I was wearing my perfect-in-every-way jeans. This was my Christian. We had become inseparable and even though we hadn’t officially declared ourselves a couple, I thought we were.

The moon was barely a sliver, looking more like an old lady’s painted-on eyebrow. I shouldn’t be out here, I thought. My body still felt weak. I hated feeling vulnerable and it didn’t help that I was out in the woods in the middle of the night. But Christian had asked me to meet him, saying it was extremely important. Even if it wasn’t important, I still would’ve come simply because he asked.

I leapt to a fallen log and spun around slowly on one foot, completing an almost perfect pirouette. Any minute now and I’d see his handsome face and his kind, gentle eyes, and his wonderful mouth that was always turned up into an amused grin, showing his one, seemingly endless, dimple.

I tried to distract myself from checking the time by seeing how far I could see into the dark—it wasn’t very far. I loved this place in the daytime, but with little light it was about as great as walking in my backyard.

I peered up the dirt path hoping to see where it disappeared into the woods, but the darkness hid the opening from me. No matter. I spun again and hopped to the ground. I knew I had only to follow the path up a small hill to be back at my favorite bench, tucked between two oak trees. The bench overlooked a windy, babbling brook. I’d always loved the words “babbling brook.” The phrase made the water sound alive with a personality. That’s why I frequented the place. Babbling Brook had heard more than her fair share of my problems over the year. She was the perfect friend. I was lucky the only words she knew were “gurgle,” “spray,” and the occasional “glurp.” If I would’ve been able to translate into English, “glurp” was probably a curse word.

I lifted my arm and touched the silver knob on the side of my wristwatch. The yellow face with a black Batman symbol lit up. Five minutes past midnight. Christian was late.

I imagined his crooked smile and bashful blue eye’s gazing at me when he finally arrived, apologizing. I would easily forgive him and if I felt courageous enough, despite it not being a full moon, I’d throw my arms around him and plant a big, fat—

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned my head sharply to the left. “Christian?”

Silence echoed back.

I stared into the dark, wondering if I’d imagined the movement. I took a step forward and again saw something bolt past into a tree not far away. I squinted my eyes, trying to make sense of what I was looking at it. The dark form was partially concealed by a tree branch. Every few seconds it would shift its weight. Whatever it was, it was large. An owl?

I watched quietly, short breaths barely escaping my lungs. My uneasiness grew when I realized the forest had suddenly become deathly still—even the crickets had lost their voice. Resisting the urge to run, I bravely yelled, “Shoo! Fly away, bird!”

The shadow remained still.

Watching me.

I’ll take care of this. I bent down and scooped up a small pebble. Moving my arm back in a pitching stance, I tossed the rock in the direction of the dark form. Instead of the shadow flying away like I hoped, an arm snapped out and caught the rock midair.

I
BOLTED, RUNNING AS FAST AS
I
COULD, BUT BECAUSE MY
muscles weren’t a hundred percent yet, I kept stumbling. The dark didn’t help either. Glancing at my watch, I used my powers to illuminate its face until a brilliant light shined onto the path before me. This helped me find my way back down the trail and to my house without being stabbed by a branch or mauled by a Twilight Zone creature. I was so frightened I didn’t take a breath until I closed my bedroom door behind me.

This was exactly the kind of thing that would get me killed. I’d kept myself safe for years, but faster than I could say “love sick” I’d purposely put myself in a dangerous situation—alone in the woods with someone—or something—I didn’t recognize. The realization of how far I’d let my guard down frightened me. Christian was just a boy after all and, apparently, I’m just a silly girl.

I ignored the sick feeling in my gut as I decided it was time for Jake and me to move again. Too many strange things had happened. I’d made this decision many times before, but this time it hurt the most.

The next morning I prepared to say the words I’d practiced all night. “Jake,” I would say, “I know things are going good for us here, but certain events have made me feel uncomfortable and not safe. We need to move.” Straightforward and simple, like all the other times. And like all the other times, he would agree.

Then why was I so nervous?

“Jake,” I began as I sat across from him at the breakfast table. “I need to tell you something.” I looked up, my eyes meeting his. For not being an early person, he sure did have a huge grin on his face. “What?” I asked.

“There’s something I need to tell you too.” He was actually squirming in his seat.

“Um, okay, but me first.” I squared up my shoulders and took a deep breath. “I know things are going good—”

Jake waved his hands, still with that silly grin. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stand it anymore. I have to go first. You’ll never guess what happened to me.”

“You won the lottery?”

“Better. And Utah doesn’t have a lottery. I met a girl. No, not a girl, a woman. Her name is Heidi. But get this, she was flirting with me! I haven’t had a girl flirt with me in over five years.”

“That’s because you never left the house or showered.”

“But it’s not just the flirting. Heidi, she’s … different. She’s not like other whiny women who complain about everything and get into cat fights.”

“I thought guys liked that.”

“She’s tough, yet kind. And she’s funny like your dad was.” He sighed. “I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance, but last night she told me she likes me. Can you believe it? She’s actually into me.”

“Why wouldn’t a girl like you? You’re a great catch when you don’t have a game controller in your hand.”

He smiled, still in a daze. “I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Thanks for moving us here and for kicking my butt into gear.”

I shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Now, what did you want to tell me?”

Did I dare tell him after he just found love? He hadn’t been this happy in years. “I’m failing math,” I blurted. I’d have to figure something else out. Maybe I’d overreacted. I guess it could’ve been a mountain lion. With an arm. I shook my head to dismiss the image.

“Is that it?” Jake said. “That’s not a big deal. I failed lots of classes.”

“You’re supposed to tell me to do better or else.”

“Really? All right, do better or you’re grounded.”

“Thanks, Jake.” I stood up. “Congratulations on finding a girl who will talk to you.” I forced a smile.

“Are you going out with Christian tonight? Maybe we could double?”

I shuddered. “I’ll pass. Later.” I left the house quickly to the sound of Jake laughing.

Instead of driving to school, I decided to walk. I needed time to think. So Jake had a girlfriend. I wanted to be happy for him, really I did, but all I could think about was how I was going to end things with Christian. And I did have to end it. I needed to get focused on me again. On my survival.

Just the thought of not seeing Christian anymore made me sick. I placed my hand against a tree to keep myself upright. My stomach was suddenly killing me. I waited for the pain to pass before I started walking again.

I couldn’t push Christian’s face from my mind: his bright blue eyes, the lone brown speck, his crooked smile, the dimple. My stomach tightened again, this time forcing me to sit down. Why did Jake have to find a stupid girlfriend? This would be so much easier if I could just move away. I doubled over, gritting my teeth.

Before I realized what was happening, huge tears welled in my eyes. I was crying! I never cried. And the thought of not being around Christian made it impossible to stop.

I cried for several minutes, completely unaware of my surroundings, until a shadow blocked the sun. I looked up through my hair.

In front of me was Christian. I groaned and flopped my head back down to my knees.

“Llona?” His voice was gentle and kind.

Too kind, I thought. This guy can’t be for real.

“What are you doing here, Christian?” I said in anguish.

“I came to give you a ride to school.”

“Why?” He’d never done that before.

“I don’t know. Maybe I sensed that you needed me.”

I stopped breathing. Me, needy? Not in this lifetime, not ever. I looked up at him, the tears already drying on my cheek. “Well, I don’t. I’m fine.” I stood up.

He ignored my curtness. “What’s upset you?”

“Nothing I can’t deal with.” I started walking down the street. I can do this. Keep moving. Don’t look back.

“Hey, wait up!” He jogged to catch up to me. “What happened last night?”

I stopped. “What do you mean? I waited, but you never came.” And then I had the crap scared out of me.

He looked down. “I did, but I was late, but only by fifteen minutes. I’m really sorry. Is that why you were crying?”

“I wasn’t crying. I have allergies.” The pain in my gut returned.

“Nice try. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m late for school. And if it’s all right with you, I’d rather be alone.”

“Can I walk next to you if I’m really quiet?”

“Isn’t your car back there?”

“Do you want a ride?”

“No.”

He stopped, but I kept walking.

“I’ll see you at school,” he finally called.

Once I sat down in class and had a chance to clear my head, I relaxed. It was going to be hard to stay away from Christian, but it was the right thing to do, especially after what he’d said. How could he have known that I needed him? Thinking about it, I realized that he often said strange things. It’s like he knew me,
really
knew me, and that terrified me.

At lunch I went straight to the cafeteria to eat in the corner. It was weird to eat by myself again, but at least I felt more in control of my life. I still talked to people in my classes, but had lost my previous enthusiasm. It felt forced, and those around me seemed to sense it too. Eventually, I gave up. After a week of isolating myself and avoiding Christian at every turn, May finally cornered me.

“What’s with you lately?” She was dressed super preppy with stylish jeans and a black top. She had straightened her hair and had it flipped back just so. She looked like she could’ve been a model, and I couldn’t pin the crowd she belonged to today.