Fragile Mask (29 page)

‘
Verena, calm yourself,’ Denzell commanded, taking her
shoulders and holding her fast. ‘Come, don’t speak yet.’ He smiled.
‘Where is that famous control I have had so much reason to
deprecate? What, Snow Maiden, have you thrown away your
mask?’

An involuntary gurgle of laughter escaped her, bringing her
back to the present. The confusion lifted a little.

‘
My mask has rather deserted me,’ she offered
shakily.

‘
Never!’ Denzell declared, and putting an arm about her, led
her off the path and into the shade of a tree, for the sun was
hot.

He stripped off the olive-green coat and laid it down,
instructing her to sit. Glad to be relieved of the necessity to
think for herself, Verena sank down, the pale yellow muslin
spreading about her, and watched Denzell settle before her, his
attitude relaxed as he sat in shirtsleeves, his hat at one side,
the queue of his tied-back fair hair falling over his shoulder to
lie upon the subdued green of his waistcoat.

There was an expression of tenderness in the blue eyes as
they looked her over with that smoky glow that had the effect of
ruffling her breath a little, but her heart and mind were still too
full to leave room for what this might mean.

Denzell’s own thoughts were all for her distress. He had
found himself unable to go all the way home, his concern for
Verena’s safety causing him to dally in the square of open ground.
When he saw her leaving the house, he was glad of his own
irresolution, and had hurried after her at once, for it was obvious
from her demeanour she was greatly overset.

When he stopped her, the distraught look in her face and
the trembling outburst of that hurried speech had gone straight to
his heart. He wanted only to comfort her, to alleviate her distress
by any means in his power. She was looking at him with more
openness than she ever had before. Expectantly almost, as if she
trusted in him to deliver her. He smiled warmly.

‘
Now, my princess, tell me the whole.’

Verena noticed nothing amiss in this form of address, nor
in his assumption that she would confide in him. She fetched a
sigh, and shrugged.

‘
What am I to tell? I am in dread he will succeed with Mama.
He will cozen her with his pleas and promises, for she is in no
condition to resist him.’

‘
You mean your stepfather?’

‘
Nathaniel, yes.’ She sighed again. ‘I have been persuaded
to let them alone—that is why I came out. I could not abide the
waiting. It was too reminiscent of earlier times.’ She threw her
hands up to her face, pressing them to her cheeks, closing her
eyes. ‘If you knew the dreadful, unkind things he said of her. All
to give himself reason to inflict upon her the vicious punishment
of his heavy fists.’

Despite the fact that he had understood this must be the
meaning behind the little she had told Unice, Denzell found himself
shocked and distressed by the picture these words painted. Almost
he shied away from asking further, from hearing any more, for, to
himself—and he was persuaded, to those of his intimates whom he
knew almost as well as he knew his own mind—such a shameful use of
a man’s strength was not to be tolerated. No gentleman would strike
a lady, never mind administer this kind of beating. Deuce take it,
but that was for prize-fighters! Were such a thing known in his
circles, the perpetrator would be shunned by society—and
rightly.

But here was Verena, whom he loved, and who had memories
she must long to eliminate from her heart. He had no mind to hear
them, but he would share them, for her sake.

‘
What sort of things, Verena?’ he asked. ‘What would he
say?’

Verena’s shoulders shifted, as if the burden of the memory
was too great to bear. But she answered, her hands dropping down to
pluck aimlessly at her muslin petticoats.

‘
Oh, that Mama did not love him. That she had an
eye to some other man. That she was his alone, despite her desires
for others—despicable lies! Mama never
looked
at another
man. She would not have dared to do so, for fear of such
consequences as must ensue.’

‘
And then?’ Denzell urged.

Verena shivered. ‘And then, when she denied it all, when he
had driven her to a quarrelsome frenzy, he would hit her. When she
cried out, he would do so again. He would say he must demonstrate
his mastery this way, if she would not permit him to do so—the
other way.’

Denzell went cold. Had Verena’s mama refused her
husband his rights? That was foolhardy. Any man must be frustrated
by that, but such a man as this would be angered beyond bearing.
And Verena
knew
of this? Chaste
stars!

But Verena was still speaking, her eyes unseeing, her mind
far away, receding into the memories that haunted her.

‘
When he was satisfied—when he had punished her enough for
his temper to begin to cool, he would leave her, slamming himself
from the room.’ Verena drew a shuddering breath. ‘That was the
moment when I used to find the courage to creep in. I had to, for
Mama was incapable of tending to her own hurts. Either myself or
Betsey had to do it.’

She did not notice the tears that slipped down her cheeks,
tears that rent Denzell in pieces as he forced himself to remain
still, and to listen while she talked on, moving into the present
tense as if the events she related were happening this
moment.

‘
She lies there, swollen and bleeding at the mouth. Her eye
half closed—you can see the bruise beginning there already. I take
the basin and bring some water, and gently—very gently, for she is
hurting so—I clean away the blood and press the cold flannel to her
bruises.’ One hand came up and her fingers dashed at the wetness on
her cheeks, and she sniffed, shaking her head. ‘So many, sometimes,
I could not do them all in time. She suffered them on her back and
her neck, for she must have turned from him to save her face. Then
I had to hurry, for you see he would always come back—in due
time.’

‘
Come back?’ The protest was drawn from Denzell out of the
confusion of compassion and revulsion warring in his breast. ‘How
could he dare to come back?’

Without thinking, he plunged his hand into the pocket of
his buckskin breeches and brought forth a handkerchief. He thrust
it into her restless fingers, and Verena held it, her eyes focusing
on his face as the tears gave way to the stirrings of that rage he
had seen in her countenance when she met Nathaniel earlier in his
presence.

‘
Oh, yes, he dared. He would come back all right,
with a mouthful of apologies, a heart—so he claimed—full of
remorse, speaking of his great love for her.’ Her face twisted as
she repeated with an inflection of sickening disgust,
‘Love—
oh, how often have I heard him use that word and wished I
might cut it on his skin with a blunted knife!’

Denzell heard the vicious wish with a surge of emotion. If
he had known with what a legacy he had to deal when he spoke to
Verena of love. Small wonder she reacted as she had. He watched her
dab at her eyes with his handkerchief, and his chest tightened. But
his heart stilled as she spoke on, for there was worse to
come.

‘
I should not have heard these things,’ she said, and her
voice was hard again. ‘Only there were occasions when I was not
quick enough to escape before he would reenter the room. I used to
hide under the bed, and be forced to listen to him begging
forgiveness, saying he had not meant a word of it, mingling his
false tears with her own. And then…and then he would...’

She could not go on, her fingers wrestling his handkerchief
into a ball. Denzell, quite appalled by the implication, reached
out a hand and seized her fingers, handkerchief and all, almost
crushing them in his anxiety to relieve her mind.

‘
Say no more. I understand.’

What a hideous fate! That a child should have been obliged
to witness such scenes and learn of lovemaking in this crude
manner. The thought crossed his mind that he had taken on an
impossible task, but it was overborne by the need to give Verena
what comfort he might. To let her begin to know that what she had
been so unfortunate as to experience was the exception rather than
the rule.

He relieved her of the maltreated handkerchief and took her
other hand, holding both together in a strong clasp between his
own.

‘
Verena, this is not love as most men know it, my poor girl.
Only look at Unice and Osmond. You cannot imagine that anything of
the kind might occur between them. They are the fondest couple I
know.’

Verena made no attempt to remove her hands, but they lay
limply in his grasp, and her voice was bleak.

‘
Those that saw Nathaniel and Mama together would never have
imagined it of them either. They hid it well between them. Even I
did not know until I was eight. Mama was thought to be sickly, that
is all, for she was indisposed for days at a time. That is why I
chose Tunbridge Wells, so that it might be given out, when it
became known that we had gone, that Mama was here for her
health.’

‘
Verena, you delude yourself. One does not live on an
island. Such things as you have spoken of are the stuff of
servants’ gossip. Can you truly believe that the matter was unknown
in your circles? I frankly doubt it.’

She nodded. ‘Yes, so do I. But that does not mean that
people were able to observe it in their public conduct.’ A tiny
smile came and went. ‘Only look at me. I am a past master at my
company mask, as you call it. Mama was almost as good. It is only
since she has been here she has given way to her
misery.’

There was silence for a while. Denzell would have given
anything to show her how mistaken were her views, how narrow. How,
he knew not. But this was not the time. She was calmer now, and he
must keep her so, not risk distressing her anew.

‘
How was it you were able to come here at all?’ he asked,
for he had long pondered the question of how mother and daughter
could be supporting themselves.

‘
Grandpapa Whicham—my mother’s father—left me money in
trust,’ she answered. ‘I had only to wait for my majority, by which
time I had resolved how I would use it.’

The answer threw the whole matter of the Chaceleys back
into his mind. Tentatively, in a casual tone, he tried a subtle
probe.

‘
What of your father’s family?’

A shadow flitted across her face, and a slight reserve
entered her voice. ‘I know nothing of them. Mama married above her
station, and they did not wish to recognise her.’

Deuce take it, this was too painful. Poor
princess. Abandoned by one family, only to be crushed by another.
But life had not always to be so.
Love
had not always to
be so. How could he show her that? Unless she could be brought to
see for herself—by his own conduct towards her. Or did she already
know it? He eyed her.

‘
Why have you allowed me under your shield, Verena? Why, if
not that you trust me?’

His grasp had slackened a little, and Verena removed her
hands from his, looking away. ‘I trust you as a friend.’ A smile
flickered again. ‘Besides, I was overwrought, and you were
by.’

‘
Is that all?’ he uttered, and knew the disappointment
sounded in his voice.

Her pulse quickened, but she turned and met his eyes.
‘Denzell, can’t you see? Have you heard me say all this, and not
recognised the impossibility of what you seek of me?’

She saw in his face that he had, and her chest tightened.
But he reached out again, and took her hand, drawing it into his
lap.

‘
I recognise your fear, Verena, and I see upon what premise
it is based. But it is a false premise. Your experience is one in a
million. I could cite you story after story to refute your fears.’
He smiled. ‘But I will not waste my time. You cannot know it,
Verena, but there exists a purer love than this—a love that has
nothing to do with pain and brutality.’

Verena’s fingers shifted within his grasp. ‘If I could only
believe that!’

His hand tightened. ‘If I could only convince
you!’

Chapter Ten

Verena’s pulse quickened. Oh, but this was too dangerous.
She snatched her hand away, and got up. He rose too, and she faced
him, her barriers up, although she felt as if her mask could not
anywhere be found. Not in this man’s presence. Not any
more.

‘
The risk is too great, Denzell,’ she uttered roughly.
‘Besides, even were it possible, were you to find some way to
change me, I could not leave Mama. She needs me.’

‘
That I appreciate,’ he conceded.

‘
Then don’t speak of this again,’ she pleaded. ‘I must go
back now.’ She hesitated, and managed a. slight smile. ‘I do thank
you.’

Denzell shook his head. ‘Don’t. And you are premature. I
will escort you home.’

From this determination he would not be moved, and Verena
accepted his arm with gratitude. The remembrance that she could not
leave Mama had brought back the present problem to her mind. Yet
she was eased in having told her tale, and found herself much less
agitated, although still nervous of the outcome of the enforced
private conference.