Frat Boy and Toppy (23 page)

Brad opened his mouth and drew a breath, but before he could say anything, Kyle popped up. “Brad’s gay.”

Motherfucker.

The only thing to do was agree. “I’m gay.” The sound of Collin swallowing echoed around the room. Brad glanced down at him. He was white as a sheet.

Eduardo looked a little pale himself. “Brad, Kyle is accusing you of being gay. Do you have any answer to this accusation?”

Kyle protested. “It’s not an accusation! I’m
supporting
him!”

“I cannot believe Ashley loves you,” Brad said out of the corner of his mouth, glaring sideways at Kyle. “Yeah, I do. I. Am. Gay.”

Kyle swallowed, blanched, and sat down rapidly. But Brad was betting on a quick recovery. Not so much for the rest of the guys, who were all staring at him, some craning their necks or gape-mouthed, completely frozen. Still enough that he was starting to wonder if he’d turned them all to wax, like in one of those museums.

Eduardo shuffled papers up at his podium, nostrils flaring rhythmically. He tilted his chin at Brad. “So. You are supporting Kyle’s assertion that you may be gay?”

“I just
said
I was gay,” he said, flinging out a hand for emphasis. The waxen zombie horde flinched slightly.

Kyle stood up next to Brad again. “It’s true. Brad’s gay. He even has—
had
a boyfriend.”

Fastest recovery on record. Brad shot Kyle another dirty look. Kyle ignored him this time, instead staring menacingly at Eduardo.

Eduardo’s eyes bounced around the room like he was looking for backup. When he found none, he squared his shoulders and asked evenly, “Are you sure you are gay? Maybe you’re just confused.”

“I’m not
confused
, Eduardo, I’m gay.”

Eduardo swallowed, his shoulders hunching slightly. “Ah. Have you . . . conducted any tests to prove this theory?”

For fuck’s sake
. “It’s not a fucking theory. And yes, I’ve sucked cock.”

That woke everyone out of their zombie state. A chorus of “Dude!” and “Oh, man, that’s just gross,” erupted.

Eduardo banged his silly little gavel until the head broke off, trying to get everyone to shut up. It took a few minutes and a piercing whistle from Tank, but they finally fell quiet. Eduardo turned back to Brad. “It’s not funny to pretend you’re gay if you’re not. It’s insulting to the real gay men.”

Okay, that was it. What was with people thinking he had some amazing sense of humor? He glared at Eduardo. “If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to insult your real straight ass.”

That didn’t come out quite the way he’d meant it to.

Everyone went very still again, teetering on that edge of disbelief. Finally, he was getting somewhere. He waited for the questions to begin. Everyone would have something to say to him, he was sure.

They all started talking at once. To each other. Mostly about whether Brad was fucking with them, and how he’d gotten Kyle in on it with him.
Shit
. There was no fucking way he was letting them derail his coming out, dammit.
“Quiet!”

Silence.

The doorbell echoed through the house.

Julian popped up and planted his hands on his hips and yelled, “Goddammit! If that’s some pledge arriving early, I’m blackballing him, plumbing experience or not!”

Everyone started talking again. As the discussion—the very loud, chaotic discussion—raged on, Brad began to get really, really pissed off.

“You guys are ruining my coming out!” he finally yelled.

No one heard him but Collin. Collin, the only guy in the entire room who wasn’t standing up and yelling. He looked miserable when Brad turned to him. “Sorry,” Collin croaked, looking like he was going to faint. Kyle, meanwhile, was yelling at the top of his lungs about discrimination and lawsuits, reciting things from his notecards.

Brad reached down and squeezed Collin’s shoulder. “You’ll do it when you’re ready.” Collin slumped in his chair.

Brad looked around in disgust. The debate was turning into a big argument. First stop on the way to a brawl. Eduardo waded his way toward Brad. “You can’t be gay,” he insisted once he was in shouting distance. “You’re too macho!”

Ricky, standing nearby, overheard and butted in. “You’ve been with
girls
, dude.”

“You don’t seem gay to me,” Eduardo added.

“Well, shit! I don’t seem gay to you? My mistake, then,” Brad said with an eye roll.

Eduardo held himself straighter. “There’s no call for sarcasm.”

Yes. Yes, there was, actually. He was about to tell Eduardo just how much call there was for it when someone said from behind him, “But I looked up to you, man! I thought you were the shit when it came to the ladies. So, what? Am I going to wake up gay one day, too?”

Brad closed his eyes and rubbed a hand across his face. “Please, tell me you guys are not seriously this stupid.”

But no one was listening to him. Again. They were arguing the possibility of waking up gay one morning. Brad didn’t know what the fuck to do. He’d been prepared to defend his right to stay in the frat once he was out, maybe even to have to answer a lot of stupid questions like he had for Kyle. He hadn’t been prepared for no one to believe him. Or for idiots to think it was some kind of contagious social disease.

He dropped back into his chair. “This is a fucking disaster.” Collin nodded his head glumly but didn’t say anything.

Just then Julian reappeared in the doorway, someone following him.

Brad stood up. It was Sebastian, which made absolutely no fucking sense. He was looking around worriedly. Then he saw Brad and smiled, just a little. A kind of unsure one that Brad had never seen on his face before.

Shit. Brad’s heart flew up his throat at the sight of it. The fuck did that smile mean? And what if someone figured out he was the guy Brad had been seeing and they started harassing Sebastian? What if it got physical?

He started toward Sebastian, trying to get to him before something went horribly wrong. He could hear snippets of arguments on the way. “Dude, does it really matter if he’s gay? So what? You’re an asshole and I don’t hold it against you.”

“No, see, it’s a good thing. Chicks
love
gay guys. We’ll have women here 24/7.”

“Gay or not, he can still kick your ass.”

“My brother’s gay. If you think I’m coming down on Brad for being gay, you’re smoking.” The last comment was from Tank. Brad nearly stopped to thank him. If he had Tank on his side, no one would touch Sebastian.

Brad was so fucking relieved it wasn’t a gay bashing in the making, he smiled at his boyf— ex-boyfriend.

That’s when Sebastian really let loose. He smiled back so big it lit up his whole face. Brad stopped, brought to a standstill by that smile. His breath stuttered in his lungs. It looked like . . . was Sebastian here to see
him
?

Brad must have had some weird look on his face, because Sebastian slowly lost the smile. He looked worried now. Looking into Brad’s eyes. Trying to figure something out.

Brad pushed closer through the guys, wanting to know just what the actual fuck Sebastian was doing here, anyway.

It only took a few seconds before Brad was standing in front of him.

“What’s going on?” Sebastian asked, taking a deep breath.

Brad looked around, then met Sebastian’s gaze “I came out.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened, but he just nodded. “Um, how’s that going?”

Brad glanced at the arguing mob again. “Not that great. No one believes me. Well, not no one, but not a lot of them.”

Sebastian reached out for his hand. “They can’t process it, yeah?” he asked, squeezing Brad’s hand. Brad stared at it. Sebastian’s hand wrapping around his.

“No. I don’t get it. Look at them, they’re still arguing about it,” he said absently, staring at where Sebastian’s skin met his. Then he pulled his hand away because he didn’t know what it meant and it hurt to have Sebastian touch him. “Just . . . they don’t believe me.”

“I think that sounds like their problem.”

Everything went still. Well, not really, but that was how it felt. It
was
their problem. He sighed with some weird mixture of resignation and relief. Whatever; it wasn’t his deal anymore.

“Can we go talk somewhere?” Sebastian asked, voice so low Brad had to lean forward to hear him.

Brad swallowed and nodded. “We can go up to my room and talk.”

As soon as Brad shut the bedroom door, Sebastian turned into him. He needed to be close to Brad. But Brad stepped away, across the room.

Sebastian stopped. He didn’t know what to do with his hands. When was the last time he didn’t know what to do with his hands? He clasped them in front of him. Gripped them together. The ache in his chest grew. Telling him not to fuck this up. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Hey.”

Brad looked at the floor, his jaw clenched. Maybe he wasn’t going to answer. Damn it, it was worse than Sebastian had thought. The pain under his sternum throbbed.

“So you told the frat, yeah?”
Obviously, asshole
. He didn’t know where else to start.

Brad nodded at the floor. “Don’t you want to know why?”

“I don’t care why.”

Pain flashed across Brad’s face, twisting his mouth.
Oh, hell
—he took a couple steps toward Brad.

Brad took a step back.

“I didn’t mean that, I mean, not the way it sounded. I meant it doesn’t matter if you came out or not, or why you did it. It doesn’t make any difference to how I feel about you.” This time when he stepped forward, Brad didn’t back up. But he wouldn’t look at Sebastian, either.

Sebastian watched Brad’s Adam’s apple work. “How’s that?” Brad’s voice shook, and Sebastian swore it hurt Brad to force it out.

“I love you, Brad.”

It came out easier than he’d thought it would. Just flowed right out. He hadn’t even had to think before he said it.

He didn’t get the reaction he expected, though. Brad still wouldn’t look at him. “If you’re just saying that . . .”

He tried another step forward. “Why would I lie about that?”

Brad shrugged, looking sadder. “This morning you didn’t know what love was.”

Oh. Yeah. Sebastian stopped inching forward and cleared his throat. “I figured it out.”

Silence. He held his breath. Brad lifted his head, not quite looking at Sebastian yet. “You did?”

Sebastian took another step. “Yeah. Love feels like a hole in my chest when you’re gone. When you left me, I mean.” Another step.

Brad smiled a tiny, sad smile. “That sounds familiar.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian finally reached Brad’s personal space. Less than a foot away. He could feel Brad there, physically feel him. His heat.

Brad peeked up at him from under his brow. “Yeah.” He was so freaking cute when he did that.

Sebastian bent his knees to put himself into Brad’s line of sight. “Familiar how?”

Finally, finally Brad reached for him. Just a quick touch of fingertips on his jaw before he dropped his hand. “That’s how I felt when I left.”

Sebastian reached for Brad’s hand and pulled him closer. Brad came, meeting his eyes. Sebastian traced his cheekbone with his free hand. “I love these bones.”

Brad frowned. “
That’s
what you love about me?”

Sebastian palmed the back of Brad’s head and brought him closer. “I love everything about you. I’m in love with you.”

Brad resisted his hand, not letting Sebastian kiss him yet. “Are you sure?” The catch in Brad’s voice nearly broke his heart.

“Yeah, honey. I’m sure. I don’t know that much about it, yeah? So I didn’t recognize it until after you left. I don’t . . . please don’t do that again. I wanna talk about problems, yeah? I want you to tell me what’s wrong. I
love
you.”

Brad whispered, “Okay,” and let Sebastian pull him down for a kiss.

But Sebastian only got a quick one. Well, not that quick, but shorter than he expected by far. Then Brad pulled away, saying, “I want to talk now.”

Sebastian pulled back himself, but didn’t let go of Brad. “Okay,” he whispered, stretching for another quick kiss. “Let’s talk now.”

Brad cleared his throat. Still skittish. “’Kay.”

Sebastian pulled on his hand, leading him to the bed. They sat on the edge, and he toed off his shoes. Brad opened his mouth, then he closed it. He did it a couple of times before Sebastian said, “Can I hold you, hon? I’ll lean against the headboard.” He couldn’t stop himself from running fingers through Brad’s hair and along his cheekbones. He thought maybe Brad could say whatever he needed to say if he didn’t feel like Sebastian was watching him.

Brad turned to him, startled. “Yeah.”

So Sebastian sat against the headboard, making room between his legs for Brad. He was a few inches short for this, but that just put him at the right height to kiss Brad’s spine. He squeezed his arms around Brad’s chest, forehead on the nape of his neck. “I can’t believe I almost let you go.”

“If I hadn’t left, what do you think would have happened?” Brad asked, running his fingers up and down Sebastian’s feet.

“I don’t know.”