Authors: Elizabeth Goddard
That was all it took. He had to tell her the truth.
He left the spot where he sat and slid onto the sofa next to her. Casey's eyes widened but he saw pleasure in their depths, making him want to kiss her again. Making him want to lay his heart on the table.
Butâ¦he didn't know how. Was he even ready to admit how he felt about her to himself?
And he knew, without a doubt, that what he was about to share with her would change everything. McCoffey had made it clear to tell her nothing about this operation, especially in light of her career choice, but he had to find a way to keep her out of harm's way.
Yeah, right.
This freezer incident was the absolute last straw. Jesse saw that now.
Butâ¦looking into her eyes, he saw, too, that revealing his true identity now could crush whatever they had between themâit would destroy her trust in him.
Relationships were built on trust and he knew, had always
known, that he could never have a relationship while working undercover, living in this role he played.
He slid his hand down her arm. “There's something I need to tell you.”
In her eyes he saw confusion and hurt and even a flicker ofâcould it be hope?
“Jesse, what is it?”
Maybe he could take his time telling her the truth, and in those moments he could enjoy what he had with Casey, even in the face of adversity. A walk on the beach could go a long way to calm her frazzled nerves and make it easier for her to hear what he had to say. He hoped.
“Walk with me.” Jesse stood and held his hand out to her.
Casey's expression was troubled. “Let me grab a jacket.”
When she returned with a jean jacket, looking gorgeous, he wished he'd taken her somewhere nice. He wished tonight's conversation held a completely different backdrop and tone, rather than Casey's being in danger. Not wanting a repeat of the last time they'd gone for a walk on the beach, he made sure the alarm was set, then they strolled onto the deck.
Jesse had to tell her everything.
Except, he wasn't sure he should tell her how deep his feelings were for her, or that he had any.
Focus, man.
Keeping her safe, keeping her alive, was more important than his feelings. If they both made it out of this alive then they might have time to explore a future together.
C
asey loved the feel of Jesse's hands, his fingers intertwined with hers as he led her down the steps and onto the beach, but it seemed surreal. “I had two attempts on my life today, Jesse. Somehow I feel like a walk on the beach is crazy.” She was here only because Jesse had something to tell her.
A salty breeze enveloped her and somehow calmed her. There was maybe half an hour of sunlight leftâthey could watch the sunset together. But the timing was wrong, all wrong.
“I brought you out here because you're stressed.” He stopped walking and turned her to face him, the breeze lifting her hair and blowing it from her face.
“Of course I'm stressed. I have no idea how to escape Will Tannin.” The tears pressed against the back of her eyes again. She drew in a breath to stop them. “I want to be strong and fight this, but I don't know how. Now you're telling me to relax.”
“Honestly, I hope the guy shows up, because I promise you, when I get my hands on him you'll never have to worry about him again.”
Casey took a step back. “Well, he was there today and you weren't. Don't you see, Jesse, you can't protect me. Not really. This is all so crazy.”
And what was more crazy? She loved Jesse. She longed to be in his arms. She longed to tell him how she felt about him. If onlyâ¦if only Tanninâ
Jesse took a step forward and grabbed her arms. “Casey, that wasn't Will Tannin's doing.”
“What? What are you saying?” How did Jesse know anything about it? “You don't believe me, either?”
Now
that
hurt. Of all people, she thought Jesse believed her.
“This was someone else.”
“I don't understand. What are you talking about?”
“Let's walk some more.”
Casey obliged, strolling next to Jesse, but growing more impatient by the second. “Just tell me what you know about Tannin.”
“I'm not who you think I am,” he said, continuing his walk.
The air grew too thick to breathe, and Casey's legs seemed to carry her on automatic. “Who are you?” she asked, her voice sounding like she was in a tunnel. Hadn't she ignored the little niggling about Jesse Dufourâthe niggling that something was amiss because she couldn't find anything about him? The little niggling when he acted so strange at the ice company?
She was in love with a man who wasn't who he said he was.
Dizziness swept over her. She dropped to the ground and sat in the sand, feeling a heavy weight against her chest.
Jesse plopped next to her. He took her hand. She yanked it free, pain slicing her heart. “Just tell me who you are.”
“I'm an undercover agent, working to bust a crime ring at the ice company.”
Casey lay down, feeling the soft sand against her back. She squeezed her eyes, letting the tears slip down her temples.
“That explains a lot. Why you didn't want me on the loading dock that day. Why didn't you just tell me?”
“Don't you understand? I'm not supposed to tell you now. But you're in the middle of it. I don't want to see you get hurt, nor do I want you to keep worrying about Will Tannin. He's still in Oregon. I'll deal with him, but one thing at a time.”
“Then why didn't you just tell me to go away? Shouldn't I just disappear now? Get out of town? Can't your agency protect me?”
Jesse heaved a long, hard sigh. Looking up at the few stars beginning to appear, she could see from her peripheral vision his hand against his forehead.
“That would seem like the logical choice, but it's far more complicated than that. In order to keep you safe, I'm supposed to keep an eye on youâkeep you from snooping around for a story because you're a reporterâthis coming from one of the men in the crime ring. Somehow that hasn't gone right, but I have every intention of correcting it. Then there's the matter that you're not even supposed to know what I'm telling you now.”
Casey rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow to look at Jesse, love flooding her heart. “And how can they watch me if I'm not even supposed to know about the operation? Is that it?”
“Actually, there has been someone watching you to protect you, someone other than me.” He glanced over at her with an impish grin, then it turned apologetic. “I'm sorry they failed. But if you leave town, there is Tannin to consider. What if he finds you again?”
“Can't your people keep protecting me?”
Jesse shook his head. “Not officially. It's not what we do. That's a matter for the police. That's why I think it's best if you stay with your friend for a few nights, just until this whole thing blows over.”
“You think I'll be safe there?”
“I think that's the best place for you right now. There will be someone keeping watch over you, but Casey, promise me you won't say a word about any of this. If you do, you could blow everything I've spent months working for. If you do, you could get us both killed. Do you understand?”
“I think so, yes.” The cool earth seeping into her bones, Casey got on her knees to stand. Jesse beat her to it.
“You must be getting cold out here. I'm sorry, I just wanted to be free of the house for this conversation.”
Jesse helped Casey to her feet. Now that she knew the truth about him, everything made sense. And somehow, knowing that Tannin wasn't after her at the moment eased her mind. Jesse would take care of everything else.
He was a good guy, just as she'd reassured herself in the beginning.
“You really are a hero,” she said.
Casey searched his eyes, and what she saw took her breath away. Just like she wanted and longed for, he tugged her into his arms again and kissed her.
Thoroughly.
Warmth flooded her, chipping away at any remaining chill she felt from the freezer, deep down to the marrow of her soul. Waves caressing the beach sounded miles away. She wanted to tell him what was on her mind, in her heart.
I love you.
Not yet. She needed to hear him say the words first, if he even cared for her that much.
“Oh, Casey,” Jesse murmured. “I was so afraid I would lose you with the truth.” He deepened the kiss.
But waitâ¦
Casey untangled herself from Jesse, startling herself with the abrupt move. Jesse looked torn. Stunned.
“Why did you say you wanted to talk about this away from my uncle's house?”
Jesse looked a little dazed and frowned.
“It's been all about my uncle's house from the beginning, hasn't it? The intruder wasn't necessarily after me, was he? What does my uncleâ”
“Casey, Caseyâ” Jesse held out his hands “âyou're getting way ahead of yourself. Just let me answer.”
“I'm listening.”
“Yes, we believe your uncle could be involved. It's part of my job to determine the players.”
Casey closed her eyes, thinking of Jesse and Miguel. “And Miguel?”
“Look, Casey, the less you know, the better.”
“And Miguel?” she asked, louder now.
When she opened her eyes, Jesse was staring at her. His silent answer was enough. A vice squeezed her lungs. Miguel and Jesse were close; she'd seen it with her own eyes.
“You are using me to get into my uncle's house, to get close to him when he returns. You act like you care when you don't. It's all about your job, isn't it, Jesse?”
“That's notâ”
“You're using me, just like you've used Miguel.”
Anger and hurt wrapped around her heart at the same time. Casey turned her back to Jesse, wanting to get as far away from him as possible.
Â
Casey ran away from Jesse, taking his heart with her.
Taking his hopesâ¦
God in heaven, I need Your help!
She headed down the beach and in the direction of the house. He sprinted after her, knowing that he would catch her.
And then what?
How could he have made such a mess of things? How could he make her understand?
Casey glanced behind her and when she saw him, she ran even faster. Should he chase her? Or let her go?
But she was in danger. He had to make sure she didn't do something crazy.
Breathing hard, Jesse caught up and reached for her. She stumbled and fell forward.
Jesse caught her, saving her from a nasty fall, and whirled her to face him, careful he didn't hurt her. “Please, you have to believe me, no matter what things look like to you, I⦔
Her eyes flooded with tears, and she fought to free herself from him, but he held on. He had to make her understand. No matter what else happened.
“Casey, I love you. Can't you see that?”
For a fleeting moment, Jesse saw hope flash in her eyes before the pain set in.
“Tell me the truth. That night you happened down the beach and saved me from the man checking on the house. Why were you there? Spying on the house? Spying on me?” Questions spewed from her in hot, quick breaths.
“That was never my intention. My only concern for you was and still is your safety.”
“You haven't answered my question.”
Jesse glanced around. They were near the house now, near the neighbors. The light from the Helmses' deck showered them now. “If you don't mind, can you turn the volume down a little? People can hear.”
“Well?” she asked, a little softer, heaving with anger and mistrust.
And hurtâ¦
Oh, manâ¦
He'd blown things with her in a big way. There was no going back.
“Yes, I was watching the house, but when I heard you scream, I had already gone back to my jog. Will you just trust me?”
“You mean like Miguel trusts you? I saw the bond he has with you, Jesse. Does he know who you really are?”
“Look, I don't like this any more than you do. The operation will be over soon, if you can just stick with me a little longer.”
“How could you?” Her face contorted with a tsunami of tears. “How could you endear yourself to me like that? Making me feel⦔
Jesse's throat tightened at the possibilities hidden in her words. He took a step toward her, his face near hers.
“What, Casey?” He searched her eyes. “What do I make you feel?”
“Nothing.” Her gaze focused on something behind him. “I feel nothing for you.”
He didn't believe her. But it didn't matter. Something cold and hard wrapped around Jesse's heart. He was all business now, like he should have been from the beginning.
“Casey, this isn't about feelings, it's about your life and mine. It's about busting a ring of criminals who committed a murder, among other crimes.” Jesse could hardly stand to look at her, knowing he sounded cold and professional. He shoved a hand through his hair.
She took a step back and folded her arms, but said nothing.
“I'll help you pack what you need and escort you to your friend's home. There will be someone watching over you. Maybe you can even call in sick for a few days until this is over.”
She sniffled. “I don't believe you about my uncle, you know? I'm going to prove you wrong.”
“You just don't get it, do you? Lives mean nothing when millions of dollars are at stake. You go nosing around, and you'll get both of us killed.”
I
nside the beach house, Jesse paced the living room and waited for Casey to pack. Fuming at Casey, fuming at himself, he tried to ignore the gaping hole in his heart.
If he looked too hard, he'd see that he was bleeding all over the place. Funny how his desperate need to keep anyone from getting hurt during his undercover assignment ended up hurting that person in an entirely different way.
And he was hurting, too. Casey had been a distraction from the beginning, and it could cost them both. He swiped a hand down his face. Somehow he had to shrug off the crazy way she made his heart pound, his crazy need to be with her, to kiss her and hold her.
Somehow he had to move past all of that in order to adequately protect her. In order to finish his assignment successfully and come away unscathed.
Yeah, right.
After all these years of playing a part when working undercover, he should have enough practice at keeping his emotions in check. He should be able to harden his heartâand he was at the freezing point until Casey walked into his life, and unfortunately, smack into the middle of a cash-smuggling crime ring.
Why, God?
Would he get an answer? Probably not.
Did he deserve one? No.
He tugged back the long, heavy drapes that covered the expansive window, and peered out. His nerves were stretched taut, given the threats on Casey's life today.
Everything would go down tomorrow night, and he still had more than his share of work to be prepared for the takedown. He massaged the back of his neck, growing more impatient by the minute. He should never have kept her here so long. Then again, he doubted there would be another attempt on her life tonight.
What was taking her so long to pack?
His cell rang.
McCoffey.
“Yeah,” Jesse answered, regretting his venomous tone.
“Finally found where the call came from.”
“Great.” Four hours later. “Helms Ice.”
“Figures.”
“And the tire had evidence of tampering.”
Well, that was record time. Did it even matter anymore? He already knew someone wanted her dead. A dull ache started in Jesse's temple. “Is that it?”
“No, it's not. Just one more night, Jesse. Are you going to be able to hold it together that long? Or am I going to have to pull you from this case, too?”
“I've got it,” Jesse said, gritting his teeth. What did the man think? All his previous failures rushed through his mind in a flashâa man beaten within an inch of his life while Jesse watched, drug dealers suspecting he wasn't one of them. All of that getting him pulled from an assignment before he got himself killed. The pressure slamming against his temples.
Everything came down to tomorrow nightâevery detail had to play out exactly as planned.
“One more thing. We think someone else is running the money, not Helms himself.”
“Interesting.” Jesse glanced around the room to make sure Casey wasn't in earshot.
“Where are you now?”
“I'm in the house.”
“Can youâ”
Jesse heard a noise and whirled around to see Casey glaring at him, a satchel over her shoulder and luggage at her side.
“No, I can't.” Jesse hung up. He'd given them the thumb drive he'd found; there wasn't anything else lying around in plain sight.
Casey rushed by him to the garage door. He drew in a breath, wanting to explain.
“I don't even want to hear it,” she said, and opened the door to the garage, where she obviously expected to see her car.
“What are you doing? My Jeep is in the drive.”
Casey stopped, but kept her back to him.
“Your car is still at the hotel,” he said.
She sagged against the door. “I was going to take it over to Tessa's. There's no need for you to drive me. I'm a big girl.”
“Look, Casey, I'm sorry about everything. I know you don't believe me⦔ But now wasn't the time. “I need to make sure you're safe. Let me at least see you to your friend's house. Promise me you won't do anything stupid.”
“Take me to my car, Jesse. It will seem strange if you drop me off there. I've already called Tessa, and she said I could stay. Besides, I need my car to go to work in the morning.”
Casey's tone was aloof, calloused. But Jesse could hear the strain. It was costing her.
Just one more night and the sting operation would be over. Just one more night and he wouldn't have to worry about keeping Casey safe from Carlos.
“All right, Casey. You win.” To his deepest regret, she could be out of his life forever. But maybe that was for the best.
Â
Casey slid into her car after Jesse looked it over, both inside and out. It crossed her mind to start the engine, leave the parking lot and just keep driving. She could drive right down Main Street and keep going, eventually hitting the freeway. But she was beyond tired and had no place to go except back to Oregon.
Jesse sat in his Jeep, and through his windshield, she could see him staring at her. She knew he was waiting for her to leave the parking lot so he could follow her to Tessa's house where some unseen agent would supposedly watch over her.
She'd seen how that worked.
Oh, Jesseâ¦
She did as he expected, knowing there was nothing else she could do. Pulling onto the street, she accelerated and watched in her rearview mirror the Jeep's headlights as Jesse tailed her. Hopefully, that was all she would see. She'd had enough drama to last a lifetime.
Following the directions Tessa had given her, Casey finally arrived at 2127 Lone Palm Drive. She encouraged her little green car into the driveway and parked behind Tessa's Honda Civic. No matter, they could leave at the same time in the morning.
Casey climbed out and glanced around. She'd lost Jesse's tail at some point, but he probably wanted to be invisible like the other agent.
Her throat constricted. Had she actually stumbled into a sting operation? Man, if her life weren't on the line, what she wouldn't give to get that story. To think her instincts had told her something was up from the start. She'd effectively ignored them.
Yanking her satchel, purse and luggage from the car, she slammed the door and made her way to the small front porch.
Tessa stood in the doorway, smiling. “What took you so long?”
“Jesse dropped me off to get my car. I forgot I left it at the hotel.”
“Hmm, that sounds interesting.” She grabbed Casey's luggage as Casey followed her into the house.
“Don't even go there. It's not like that.” A pang shot through her heart. “I was there for the sculpture competition, remember?”
“That's too bad,” Tessa said. “I thought you two had something going.”
Casey sighed, too tired to explain.
“I'll show you the extra bedroom and then you can tell me why you needed a place to stay.”
Stepping into the small but neat little room, Casey skimmed the contents. A country quilt on a queen-size mattress. She remembered how comfortable the bed was at her aunt's house and doubted Tessa would have expended that much money on a mattress. Still, she was grateful to be here.
Tessa set her luggage on the bed and Casey followed her lead, laying the rest of her things on the mattress, as well. “I can't thank you enough for letting me stay on such short notice.”
“No problem. I could use the company. Had a blind date tonight. It didn't work out, at least for me. Get unpacked, and I'll make some popcorn.”
Casey slumped onto the bed. She so didn't want to eat popcorn and stay up all night with girl talk. How safe was she at Tessa's home, anyway? Had she brought harm to her coworker and friend by coming here?
“Tessa, you've got an alarm system, right?”
The woman paused in the door and studied Casey. “Things are that bad, huh?”
Behind her eyes, Casey detected a smile, and she grinned. “Yep.”
“Well, let's go make sure it's set. I only remember to arm the thing half the time. I grew up in a very small town. We left the keys in our cars, never locked the doors, that sort of thing.”
Casey followed her down the hallway and into the kitchen, where Tessa set her alarm by the back door.
She glanced at Casey and stuck popcorn into the microwave. “There, feel better?”
Sliding into a kitchen chair, Casey laid her forehead against her arms on the table. “What have I gotten you into?”
Tessa laughed. “I should be the one asking you what you've gotten me into, shouldn't I?”
The aroma of popcorn permeated the kitchen. Casey couldn't think how to answer.
“I can tell you're about to crash. Forget the popcorn. Just go to bed.”
Casey rose. “I can't thank you enough for your help.”
“Oh, you will, girl, you will. I want to know all about your mystery man.”
In response, Casey offered a weak smile and nodded as she plodded out of the kitchen. In the guest room, she readied for bed. She didn't think she could sleep but she had to try. She had every intention of finishing the ice sculpture and competition article for Danny tomorrow. Though she might not be a lot of things, she was a professional. After she explained everything that had happened, he had to understand and pay her for the article, althoughâto her chagrinâhe might simply put the money toward the camera she'd lost.
Even if he did pay her, it wouldn't be much, but maybe enough to allow her to skip town for a couple of nights until
it was all over. Until Aunt Leann was back in town and then what? She wasn't sure.
Maybe Tannin's threat would have died a silent death by then, as well. Casey slid between the sheets, relishing the comfort of a warm bed. Though she didn't know Tessa that well, her actions were that of a friend.
Casey closed her eyes, but her mind was spinning with the events of the day. Twice, she almost died. Twice Jesse saved her.
Jesseâ¦
He had told her he loved her. She'd dreamed and hoped he would feel that way about her. And there it was, but the circumstances in which he'd confessed his love didn't work for her.
Had it been Jesse the agent or Jesse the man who loved her, that had saved her today?
She rolled over to face the other wall. How could she know if Jesse loved her or not? She couldn't believe a man who worked undercover, especially considering all the time he spent with her, pretending to be someone else. And he had an ulterior motive for wanting to be close to her.
Some investigative reporter she'd turned out to be. Although, to be honest, she had resolved not to probe when her reporter senses picked up on the strange vibes at the ice company. She'd been true to that resolutionâbut now she was paying for it. She'd told Jesse that she was going to investigate to prove her uncle's innocence, but she'd been angry and hurt.
If her uncle was involved, Casey would do what she could to find out the truthâbut only after Jesse's mission was complete. She couldn't have his blood on her hands.
Or hers, for that matter.
Â
Everything was set.
Jesse had given the other playersâhis superiors and team
membersâthe information about the time and place of the money drop and they, along with local agencies, would be ready to rain down on the ice-and-trucking company.
Tonight was the night that arrests would be made.
All on Jesse's signal. His chest ached with the weight of it.
As Jesse paced the parking lot near his Jeep at the ice company, he tried once again to get through to Casey. Forget her cell, he called information and got the newspaper's number.
“Orange Crossings Times,”
a smooth voice answered.
Jesse was momentarily impressed to hear an actual person, rather than a computerized message center, take his call. “Casey Wilkesâ¦erâ¦Carson Williams, please.”
“May I tell her who is calling?”
He cringed. Giving his name might reduce the chances she'd answer. “Jesse Dufour.”
“One moment, please.”
As Jesse paced, waiting for Casey to respond, he spotted Carlos driving through the parking lot in his little red truck, heading back to the loading dock. He hadn't seen the man since yesterday. Pure rage shot through Jesse and, still pacing, he squeezed his free fist.
He took several long breaths, knowing he couldn't let his anger blow things for tonight.
“I'm sorry, sir, she's in a meeting. Can I take a message?”
“Yes.” Jesse seethed and relayed for Casey to return his call. He had no doubt that she was avoiding him.
Casey, please don't go forward with your threat to prove your uncle's innocence. Just stay away tonight.
He marched around the side of the building, preparing to face off with Carlos.
Warning sirens wailed in his head. He squeezed his fists and relaxed them repeatedly until he finally made the en
trance. No truck was backed up to the loading dock, waiting. Instead the large opening yawned like a dark cave.
Footsteps resounded from somewhere in the shadows, then Miguel came into the light. “Jesse! My man.” He held his hand out to assist Jesse up the ledge. Jesse ignored his hand and hopped up without Miguel's help.
He pressed past Miguel. “I'm looking for Carlos.”
Miguel grabbed his shoulder. “Leave it, Jesse.”
“I don't think so.”
Carlos stepped from behind a large box, legs spread wide and hands on his hips. “Did I hear you say you were looking for me?”
Though Jesse still saw respect in Carlos's eyes, he also saw agitation. Jesse moved into Carlos's space, pressing his face inches from Carlos and grabbing his shirt in his fists. “You stay away from Casey, do you hear me?”
The man's face turned red with his scowl. Jesse prepared to receive blows. Instead, Carlos threw his hands up, holding them out flat.
Jesse tensed at Carlos's unexpected reaction. “Do you hear me?”