Fresh Tracks (20 page)

retreating. "I thought you'd be happy. We can be together now. Where are you going?

Amanda, please."

Amanda paused, her hand on the ignition. She turned to look at Laura, her normally

mischievous and glittering eyes showing nothing but sadness and disappointment. "Can't you see? You've ruined it. It was perfect and you had to go and ruin everything."

The quiet and almost monotonous manner made the words even more painful than if she'd

shouted them at the top of her lungs. She started the car and pulled away, leaving Laura

standing in the middle of the lot at a complete loss, floundering like a small, empty rowboat that has drifted out onto the choppy ocean waves. It was the last time she'd ever seen

Amanda.

In that moment, as she watched the black BMW turn a corner and disappear, Laura had

known that she had just lost everything familiar to her. Everyone and everything

comfortable was now gone. She was alone.

"Hello?" Sophie's gentle voice cut into her reminiscing as she tapped a fingertip lightly on the back of Laura's hand. "You okay?"

Laura looked up to meet concerned brown eyes and laughed. "You know, it's sort of

freaking me out having you look at me with worry instead of disdain."

Sophie laughed with her. "Disdain is much easier for me. I'm a pro at disdain." She tilted her head to the side. "Where'd you go just now? You seemed really far away."

"I was just remembering the moment when I realized that my entire life had changed and

nothing would ever be the same."

"When you left your husband?"

"And then Amanda left me."

"Was that, like.. .on the same day?"

Laura nodded slowly and sipped from her mug.

"Oh, wow." Sophie grimaced. "That'll wake you up, huh?"

"You aren't kidding."

She remembered the panic that had set in, as she stood in the empty parking lot. She

actually wondered then if she could somehow make it up to Stephen, tell him she'd been

mistaken, that Amanda had been a weird phase of some sort and she wasn't in love with her

after all, that she really loved him and could they just go back to the way things were and

pretend none of the morning's conversation had ever happened. That thought process had

only lasted a few seconds. She'd known immediately that even though she wouldn't have

Amanda by her side, she had discovered the real Laura, the one who'd been hiding deep

inside all this time.. .and she liked her. She wasn't about to let go of her so soon.

"It's a weird feeling, finding out that somebody you love is leaving you and there's nothing you can do about it, isn't it?" Sophie asked. It was more a statement than a question and there wasn't even a hint of accusation in her voice.

Laura had a sudden flash of Sophie's partner tel ing her she was leaving, of the pain that

must have sliced across Sophie's smooth features, creasing her flawless skin, forcing her

to accept the fact that life as she knew it was over. The image made her want to comfort

her new friend, to smooth away the lines of worry and stress. She gripped her mug tightly

to keep from reaching across the table. "Damn right."

IN FROM THE COLD

K

ristin opened her eyes and blinked up at the clouded sky, the snowflakes falling like tiny

pinpricks on her skin. She was shivering.

What the hel time was it?

She sat up from her position of lying on her back on the cold ground, and a sharp pain

stabbed the back of her head. She winced and rubbed at it, noting a small goose egg. She

vaguely remembered slipping and falling and realized that she very well might have knocked

herself out cold. She was surprised to see that her legs were completely covered in new-

fallen snow and she wondered again what time it was and how long she'd been out there.

Turning slowly to look behind her, she noticed her'tracks had been covered.

Her body shook and she knew she needed to get herself back to the house and warm up.

She stood slowly, bracing herself against a tree, breathing deliberately as she allowed her

body to adjust to being upright. Her jeans were soaked through and her fingers were numb.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as she stood up straighter and let go of the tree,

trying to balance on her own and remember what the hell had happened.

The exchange with Darby came racing back to her and she grimaced. A split second later,

though, she had a flash of sitting directly in front of Darby, waving a hand in her face, and having Darby look right through her. Kristin flinched and her hand flew back out to steady

her against the tree as adrenaline flooded her system.

"What—?" Memories hit her hard and fast, faces of her friends, of

Molly, none of them looking at her, none of them seeing her. "Oh, my God," she said aloud.

"What the hel happened to me?"

She looked around wildly, frightened now. She knew which way would get her back to the

path; she'd always been good with directions, something Molly couldn't say. She had

another flash of Molly's face, the sadness, the pain, the loneliness etched across it. She

wanted nothing more at that moment than to see Molly and have Molly see her. She turned

and headed back the way she had come, using the trees to help her maintain her balance.

God, she was cold. She trudged slowly, thinking only of Molly, wanting only Molly, and

making clean, fresh tracks in the snow.

"What time is it?" Molly's voice held a tinge of worry as she paced back and forth in front of the roaring fireplace.

"It's five minutes later than the last time you asked," Darby said, her thumb pushing periodically on the remote in her hand, scrolling through the channels on the television. "I can't believe this," she muttered. "Three hundred and fifty channels and there's not a damn thing on."

"Should I be worried?" Molly asked Amy in a small voice as she sat down at the dining room table next to her dearest friend. "She's been out there a long time and it's gotten awfully cold. What if she's lost?"

Amy smiled and rubbed Molly's shoulder, hoping to alleviate some of the worry. "She's

fine. She doesn't get lost, remember? Now you, on the other hand..." Molly didn't smile at her attempted humor. Lowering her voice and cutting her eyes toward Darby, Amy added,

"I bet she just wanted to be alone for a while."

Molly looked into Amy's blue eyes. They were soft and gentle, friendly with love and

concern. She felt Amy's warm hand squeeze her shoulder.

"She probably ran into Sophie and Laura and decided to walk with them." Jo touched the back of Molly's head affectionately, her voice sounding certain and reasonable. "Tell you what," she said. "We'l give her another twenty minutes and if she's not back by then, I'll go find her. Okay?"

Molly nodded, knowing she was worrying needlessly. Kristin was just upset; Molly had seen

it in her eyes when she'd left. The hurt, the anger, the helplessness. It was in that

moment, those three seconds of eye contact, that Molly had realized Kristin was

floundering, that she had no idea what to do to fix any of their mess, and that she felt like she was alone. The sudden understanding of that fact had sliced through Molly like a razor

blade, leaving her raw.

How did we get here? It was a question she asked herself often lately. Her life now was so

far away from what she'd expected it to be after so many years with Kristin. How did this

happen? How did we get so far apart?

She shook her head almost imperceptibly, unable as usual to come up with any acceptable

answers—at least not answers she was prepared to deal with.

Amy's voice cut into her thoughts. "I'm going to start on dinner. Come and talk to me in the kitchen and have a glass of wine with me. It'll take your mind off things."

Molly scratched at her eyebrow, knowing Amy was right. She needed to think about

something else or she might very well go insane. As she stood up, the front door burst open

and Molly whipped her head around. Her eyes widened at the sight.

Kristin stood in the doorway, drenched to the skin. Her shoulder-length blond hair was wet

and matted to her head. Her jeans were soaked completely through, darkened with the

wetness. Her boots had snow spilling out the tops. Her skin was deathly pale and her blue

eyes were wild and darting. The vision of her made Molly's heart pound and she ran to her.

"Jesus, honey. Where the hell have you been?" Molly gave her a once-over and immediately began unzipping her coat. "You're freezing, baby. Come on, let's get you out of these wet clothes."

Amy, Jo, and Darby all hung back, sensing somehow that this was a private moment. Jo

watched carefully, noticing that Kristin's eyes focused on Molly and stayed there.

Molly grasped the gloves and pulled them from Kristin's hands. As she caught Kristin's

fingers in her own, she gasped. "God, Kristin, your hands are like ice." She wrapped her smaller ones around Kristin's and blew hot breath on them. "What happened? Why are you

all wet?

Where have you been? I was worried about you." Her voice was not loud, and it was more

concerned than angry as she looked up into Kristin's face.

Kristin studied her, looking directly into her green eyes—the most beautiful eyes she'd

ever seen. "Molly?" Her voice was a whisper so only Molly could hear.

Molly held eye contact and waited for Kristin to continue.

"Can you see me?"

Molly's forehead crinkled at the strangeness of the question. "What? Can I...? Of course I can see you. What do you mean?"

Kristin's eyes filled with tears. "You can? You can see me?"

"Yes, honey." Molly tried to ignore the weird desperation in Kristin's voice, somehow understanding that the answer to this question was very important. She stated matter-of-factly, "I can see you."

Kristin sucked in her breath and her chest jerked as a sob burst forth. "Oh, thank God.

Thank God." She leaned forward, pressing her forehead into Molly's shoulder as she cried, unable to understand how it could possibly feel so good to have Molly rubbing feeling back

into her frozen fingers.

Molly glanced over Kristin at Amy, who gave her a shrug that said, "Don't look at me, I have no idea." She brought one hand to the back of Kristin's head and held her as she wept. Her fingertips came in contact with a sizable bump. "Honey, what's this? You've got a lump back here."

Kristin stood back up, sniffing. She reached back, following Molly's fingers. "Yeah, I know.

I fell."

Molly's eyes widened. "You fell?"

Kristin nodded and wiped her tear-stained face.

"Are you okay?" Jo and Amy approached and Amy was looking at her with concern.

Kristin nodded vigorously, one hand still holding tightly to Molly's. Molly's fingers were so warm, Kristin thought she might swoon just from the feel of them.

Molly continued to poke and prod in her wet hair. "Are you sure?" Her face was worried.

Kristin nodded again and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"Come on," Molly said, and it wasn't a request. It was an order.

"Take those boots off. Let's get you upstairs and into some dry clothes. Then I want you to sit by the fire until you warm up. Okay?"

Kristin lifted Molly's hand to her lips. "Okay." She pressed her mouth against the warm skin there, rubbed her lips against it gently as she closed her eyes and swallowed down the

emotion that was threatening to consume her. Molly was here. She was here and taking

care of her, and she could see her.

Molly squatted down to unlace Kristin's boots. Kristin held tightly to her hand. When Molly

tugged gently to extricate it, Kristin didn't let go. "Honey, it's kind of hard to do this one-handed," she commented.

When Kristin still didn't let go, Molly gazed up at her. There was something very different

about her...something behind her eyes. She didn't know what it was, and it worried her a

little bit because it seemed so.. .not Kristin. She worked on the boots with one hand.

Once upstairs, Kristin let Molly continue to lead and be the caretaker. She stood still

obediently while Molly stripped her of her wet clothing. Molly tsked and shook her head.

"I can't believe how wet you got." Kristin's skin was pale and clammy. "How long did you stay on the ground?"

Kristin shrugged and cleared her throat, her voice hoarse. "I think.. .I think I might have been unconscious," she said sheepishly as Molly tugged her cold, damp panties down her

legs.

Molly stood quickly, horror on her face. "My God, Kristin. What if you'd been out longer?

You could have frozen to death." She reached up for Kristin's head. "Let me see that bump again."

Kristin caught Molly's hands. "I know. I'm okay. Don't worry."

"But..." Molly regarded Kristin's face carefully. "What is going on with you?"

Kristin looked.. .changed somehow. Molly couldn't explain it, but her entire demeanor, the

softer expression on her face, the fact that she seemed here, but still far away—it was

weird. Weird in a way that Molly had no idea how to clarify.

Stil naked, Kristin dropped down onto the bed and sat there staring at nothing. Molly shot

little glances in her direction as she zipped around the room collecting dry clothes. It

wasn't unusual for Kristin to be off in another world when they were together—she often

ended up lost in thoughts about work or clients, and Molly could go on and on without

realizing that Kristin hadn't heard a word of it. This was

different, though. Kristin was not only somewhere else, she seemed... younger? Vulnerable?

Sad? Molly couldn't put a finger on it and wasn't sure how to bring it up without sounding