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Authors: Tara Mills

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“You did a nice job in there.”

Wes was stunned when her gaze dropped down his body to the bulge in his black sweats. Then she flushed and jerked her eyes back to his.

“Thanks,” Wes said carefully, a hint of a smile lifting one cheek. “Hey, would you consider going to get a coffee with me?”

“Now?”

“No time like the present. We can catch up.”

“Sure…that’d be nice.”

“Let’s take my car.”

Without giving her a chance to argue he went to his passenger door and opened it for her. When she settled into the seat he closed her in.

Wes jingled his keys as he walked around the car, the memorable quote from Neil Armstrong running through his head.
That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

He chuckled at the comparison, but in truth, falling under the spell of someone was very similar to enduring space. There was risk, weightlessness, and a strange euphoria that came with the hit of pure oxygen. It was bliss, a pure high you didn’t want to come down from. Humans had always strained for the heavens, metaphorically speaking, though their interpretations of what constituted heaven varied from individual to individual.

Wes slid into the driver’s seat and gave Lauren a warm smile. “And we’re off,” he said.

 

Chapter 4

 

Lauren realized the last time Wes had driven her anywhere was fifteen years earlier when he’d dropped her and Sherry off at the mall for the afternoon. It felt a hell of a lot different now. For one thing, she was sitting in the front seat, not mooning over the back of his head. For another, there wasn’t a constant stream of chatter coming from Sherry to keep her grounded.

Wes glanced over and said, “I had dinner with Sherry and Ken yesterday.”

Lauren jumped a bit, startled by the sound of his voice. “Ken? Is he Sherry’s husband?”

“Yes.”

“So what’s he like?”

“He’s a nice guy. Worships her like a goddess, which I wholeheartedly approve of. He’d walk through a plate glass window for her.”

“So good guys really do exist,” she murmured.

Wes smiled. “There are a lot more out there than you probably realize. You’ve just had your nose rubbed in the garbage heap too long.”

“You think so?”

“I’m only speculating here.”

“And how about you?” She risked a quick look at him, wondering how he’d characterize himself. Would he admit he was one of the nice guys?

Wes’s smile was grim. “Me, I’m throwing them onto the garbage heap as fast as I can, hoping my back holds out.”

Not the answer she was expecting but she couldn’t fault it either. He simply read the question differently. “Let’s hope it does,” she said softly.

They both fell quiet after that, the turn signal finally breaking the silence five minutes later when he turned into the parking lot in front of the coffee shop. They met up at the front bumper and Lauren nearly jumped when she felt Wes’s hand on the small of her back, guiding her forward. He reached around her at the door and caught the handle before she could. Pulling it open, he followed her inside.

Lauren was going into system overload. Nothing had plagued her more over the years than the hunger for Wes’s touch, the aching need to be near him, and now that she felt him, sensed him right behind her, she was so skittish she didn’t know what to do. She was beyond confused, suspended between longing and outright panic.

“Two,” he told the hostess over Lauren’s head.

She led them to a table by the windows and they sat facing each other. They both picked up a menu and read silently.

Wes finally glanced up. “Sherry misses you.” He shut his menu and set it aside.

“I miss her too,” Lauren admitted sadly, closing her own.

“I won’t pry,” he said, tipping his head thoughtfully, “even though I’m curious as hell. Just know this—she’ll take your call, no questions asked.”

“I’ll call her.”

“Good. Then I won’t push anymore.”

“Thank you.”

A server stopped over. “What can I start you with?”

“Lauren?” said Wes.

“I’d love a double mocha.”

“And you, sir?”

Wes’s eyebrow rose as he appeared to reconsider his order but then he relaxed back in his chair and shook his head. “Nope, I’ll stick with my first choice—caramel latte.”

“I’ll be back.” The server gathered up their menus and left.

“Mmm, I love caramel,” Lauren said wistfully.

“And I love chocolate. How about sharing a taste back and forth? Not afraid of my germs, I hope.”

Lauren laughed nervously, her heart pumping at the idea. “Hardly, I stopped thinking boys had cooties in the tenth grade.”

He looked shocked. “It took you
that
long?”

Lauren blushed. “Well, how old were you when girls stopped being toxic?”

He thought about it for a second and grinned. “Kindergarten. I kissed Maggie Foster just before snack time.”

Figures.
“Why am I not surprised?”

“Beats me.” The smile he gave her was sinfully sexy.

Lauren’s next question begged to be asked, but it wasn’t easy because the answer had the potential to hurt. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

“No. You?”

“No,” she said, relieved to have that topic out of the way.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Why aren’t I seeing anyone?”

He nodded.

“A lot of reasons I suppose.” She sighed. “I was living with someone, Keith, when Sarah and Will were killed and I just turned on him. I couldn’t stop myself. He didn’t deserve it, but I needed to lash out and he was convenient. I held him accountable for all the shitty things men do. I tarred him with the same brush because I was furious, bitter, and in pain. He tried to be understanding at first, but it’s pretty tough when the person you want to help is going for your jugular all the time.”

“That is tough.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you love him?”

It was difficult to look at Wes and answer this question knowing he was the other major wedge in the relationship. “No,” she finally admitted. “I wanted to. I hoped I would grow to love him because we were comfortable together, but life doesn’t always follow the script we’d like it to follow.” She gave him a wistful smile, more than ready to shift the topic back to him. “I just can’t get over it. You’re a cop. How did that happen?”

Wes chuckled. “Like you said, life happened.”

“Go on.”

He exhaled a deep breath. “Just into my junior year of college a good friend of mine was raped off campus.”

Lauren’s face fell and he nodded.

“It really forces you to grow up. I was pretty cocky, taking my personal safety for granted. I was ignorant.” She could see the sadness and regret on his face. “Unbelievably innocent. I suppose we all were. But the attack was a sobering reality check. Oddly enough, it gave me something to focus on. I was floundering at the time, still not exactly thrilled with my major. After her rape, I switched to law enforcement.”

“Is she the reason you teach self-defense?”

“An ounce of prevention.”

She returned his smile. “I like that. Are you still in touch with her?”

“We touch base a few times a year. She counsels other women now.”

“I’m not surprised. Some of the best counselors are the ones who have direct experience to draw from. She must be a strong person.”

“She is. I always admired her for it.”

Their coffees arrived and they passed on ordering anything else for the time being.

Lost in thought, Lauren poked her spoon into the whipped cream and twirled it around in the cocoa powder sprinkled over the top. She set the spoon aside and lifted the cup to take a taste. When she lowered it she found Wes watching her.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Just thinking.”

“I’m here.”

Lauren laughed. He was—a fact she found both strange and incredible. How could she tell Wes the truth? There was no way she could look him in the eye and confess that she’d carried this torch for so long that she was terrified, absolutely terrified, of getting any closer to him.

Luckily, Wes didn’t push it. “How do you like working at the shelter?” he asked instead.

Lauren looked at a distant point just over his shoulder and shrugged. “It’s rewarding.”

“That’s convincing. Don’t you like it?”

She brought her eyes back to his. “Just think about it for a second. I have a career because women and children find themselves needing protection from the very men who are supposed to love and protect them. It’s absurd. The really sad part is we don’t even have enough shelters to satisfy the demand.”

“You’re joking.”

“I wish I was,” she said. “We get far more calls than we can handle. It’s wrenching to turn a woman in crisis away for lack of space. You find yourself crossing your fingers, hoping she’ll be okay until something opens up, and praying she doesn’t become another statistic or news blurb.”

“I never realized.”

“You know, Sarah tried to get into a shelter with Will, but couldn’t. She had to get a restraining order and change the locks instead. It didn’t make a bit of difference.”

There was a grave, understanding set to his face. “I’m sorry.”

Lauren ran her fingertip along the table in little circles for a moment before heaving a heavy sigh. “So I fundraise, get the word out, pound on doors, and beg for support.”

“We’re on the same team. What you’re doing is important.”

“I know.” She studied him carefully and he raised his eyebrows.

“Your turn. What else do you want to know?” said Wes.

“Have you ever shot anyone?”

“No.” He traced the handle of his cup slowly with his index finger and thumb. “I’ve drawn my weapon but never had to fire it. I’m lucky. I’ve known a few guys who had to deal with it afterward, and it isn’t easy.”

“I’ll bet. What sticks with you?”

“Grim pictures. They’ll pop into my head at the strangest times. The one that always gets me is the missing guy we found in a trunk three weeks later. Disturbing.”

“How do you cope?”

“I immediately turn the channel. Think of something else. Nature works best.”

“And you still like what you do?”

“I love it. Not all of it, but I know I’m doing what I was meant to do.”

Lauren shook off the depressing mood. She was sitting across from Wes for crying out loud! “So what brought you back here?”

Wes leaned back in his chair and shook his head, a confessor’s smile on his face. “I missed it, and I wanted to be close to my family again. My parents are getting older and Sherry’s about to have a baby. How could I stay away?”

“I’m glad you couldn’t.”

One eyebrow rose then Wes smiled at her. “I got to feel the baby move the other day.”

Lauren shot up in her chair, a big smile on her face. “You did?”

“He was all over the place. I’m not sure if I felt an elbow or a kick, but it was crazy cool.”

“That would be so weird, like having an alien in your body.”

“It is in a way.”

“I suppose it is.”

She took another sip, and when she lowered her cup Wes laughed and held out his napkin, dabbing her nose. “You have some whipped cream.”

Lauren blushed with embarrassment. “Thanks.” She snatched up her own napkin and finished the job herself. “Better?”

“Perfect.”

“So…do you ever see any of your old friends?”
Anyone from your harem?

“Not really. I ran into Matt Duffy at the Ace Hardware on Hamilton a couple of weeks ago, but it was awkward.” Wes grinned. “His toddler was out of control, and Matt was running interference but the kid was faster. He knocked over a display of wiper fluid just as I was leaving. I kept right on walking.” He laughed.

“Oh my gosh!”

Wes gave her a mysterious smile. “Can I have a taste?”

“What?” she chirped in surprise.

The corner of his mouth rose. “Of your coffee, Lauren.”

“Oh, right.” Lauren laughed, feeling incredibly stupid.

They swapped cups and their eyes locked over the rims as they sipped. It was a strangely intimate moment.

“Mmm.” His sigh came out as a low rumble and it penetrated every cell in her body like an exquisite vibration. Lauren’s blush was back with bells on and he appeared to be enjoying it. “Is it good for you?” he asked, the question loaded with suggestion.

Lauren had no idea why Wes was toying with her like this, but it was unraveling her. She slid his cup back to him as a way of avoiding his eyes. “Yes, the caramel is very tasty.”
So are you.

Lauren spun the handle of her cup around and looked up as the server stopped back to ask if they wanted to order anything else.

“Are you hungry?” Wes asked. “We could order something to eat.”

Could she even eat? Not likely. Her stomach was already doing cartwheels just looking at the guy. Putting food into it would be downright reckless, not to mention cruel.

“I’m fine.”

“Guess not,” he told the server with a little shrug.

“Thank you.” She set their bill on the table and left.

Wes made a grab for it. “So I guess the Tuesday night slot at the gym is mine. You should join us.” He pulled out his wallet and dropped a five on the table.

“I’ve already taken self-defense,” said Lauren.

“When?”

“I don’t know, a few years ago.”

* * * *

“Come on. It never hurts to bone up on the skills.”
Bone up?
What the hell was wrong with him?

“I’ll think about it.”

“Well, I’m going to ride you on this.” Oh God, he wanted to punch himself now. Did he really just say that? Wes was wincing on the inside. Where was all this unconscious innuendo coming from? It was getting downright disturbing.

“Are you ready to go?” Lauren asked, reaching for her purse.

“Yes,” he said with relief. Wes bolted out of his chair, carefully keeping his mouth shut so he didn’t inadvertently say something else to completely blow it with this woman. It was bad enough he’d obviously embarrassed the hell out of her.

It was a silent ride back to Lauren’s car. Wes pulled in behind her bumper and got out with her. She tried to discourage him but he insisted, though he didn’t know why exactly. All he ended up doing was standing there awkwardly while she unlocked her door and got in. He warred with himself about touching her, maybe even kissing her, but in the end he shut her door and stepped back, leaving her unmolested.

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