Friends Wanting Benefits (9 page)

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, um, I just got scared. So you're saying someone is running around attacking people in the locker rooms?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God Victoria, we could have been attacked," Jillian announced in a melodramatic voice. "Thank God we're okay."

Victoria gave her a look and said slowly, "Yes, I'm so glad nothing happened to us."

Another security officer approached Branson. "We have another sighting."

Victoria mouthed to Jillian, 'Stop talking!'

Jillian returned a sneer.

The officer continued, "Two days ago a hooded man was seen stepping out of a shower stall in the men's locker room."

"Who reported that?" Branson asked.

"One of the passengers. He said he was taking a shower and heard a commotion in the stall next to him and when he looked out, he saw the person rushing away. He thinks there were two people in the shower next to him."

"Did he get a look at either of them?"

"No, he didn't but I have him in the interview room if you want to speak with him."

"I do. Okay let's pull the security footage from that day and today."

"I'm on it." The officer rushed off.

Branson turned back to the ladies who gazed up to him with their slightly guilty expressions changing to ones of put on concern. Victoria was pulling off the act just a bit better than her basket case of a co-conspirator.

Branson wore a look of genuine concern as he sized them up. "Are you sure you're both okay? I can have the doctor speak with you if you're—"

"No we're fine," Victoria cut him off a little harshly then she smiled and said in a calm voice, "Sorry. We're okay, just a little flustered."

"All right, I need to go, but I want you to give your names and cabin numbers to officer Walters. We may want to speak to you again later. Sometimes after a traumatic event it takes a while to remember all the details."

"Yes, sure," Victoria replied.

"Walters?" Branson stepped away from the women and headed to the other officer. Turning back to them, he directed Walker's attention to the women and gave him the assignment. Jillian and Victoria waved to the officer shyly as he made his way toward them.

Inside Victoria's cabin, Jillian paced back and forth. "This is bad. They're going to check that security footage and that's it." She shook her hands nervously then grabbed the gym bag. "I'm throwing this overboard."

"No." Victoria took hold of the bag and the two fought for it.

"Give it to me."

"No, listen to me."

"Let go," Jillian growled then pulled hard on the bag and the wrestlers lost their balance and tumbled onto the bed. As the fight progressed, the two ladies rolled from side to side and Jillian's cover up bunched up on her back and her bikini bottoms slipped down a bit exposing the cleft of her adorable ass.

As they were fighting the door opened and Ethan stepped inside. Standing their grinning, he apparently was really enjoying the show.

"I'm getting rid of it," Jillian said.

"You can't!"

Suddenly the girls turned to discover their spectator and stopped struggling, but maintained their hold of the robe.

Ethan asked mesmerized, "So what's going on in here?"

"Wipe that smile off your face." Jillian sneered.

"What?"

Pushing away from Victoria, Jillian rose to her feet. She made an exasperated grunting noise then adjusted her bottoms and straightened her cover up. "George wasn't in the steam room, what the hell happened?"

"He was in there when I checked."

Jillian widened her eyes. "Well, he wasn't when I lifted up the towel and discovered seventy year old balls staring me in the face."

"What?" Ethan asked.

"Have you ever seen seventy-year-old balls?" Jillian looked at Victoria, pointedly.

"No." Victoria cringed.

"Well, I can tell you this... even twenty-year-old balls aren't that pretty but seventy-year-old ones that hang down about a foot… Those are scary as shit."

Wearing a smile, Victoria cocked her head. "Well, Ethan has twenty-year-old balls and they're pretty cute."

"Thanks." He smiled proudly.

Victoria nodded. "They're really just the perfect size and—"

"Shut up." Jillian scoffed. "Both of you."

"All right." Victoria sighed. "Just calm down."

"That's easy for you to say."

"So you scared the crap out of some old man?" Victoria giggled. "And... And he thinks it was a man who attacked him." She burst into laughter.

Ethan chuckled with his eyes tearing up until he completely lost it and doubled over cackling. The couple looked at one another and that only fueled their laughter. Jillian stood, arms folded glaring at them both.

Ethan put his hand up. "Sorry... sorry... I, um..." Then he giggled again.

"Oh, come on— it's a little bit funny." Victoria covered her mouth with her hand.

Jillian curled her lip then a slight smile appeared on her face before her shoulders flinched up and down as she let out a cackle. She rolled her eyes and allowed herself a couple giggles before closing her eyes and sighing. After opening her eyes, she cleared her throat and fought to maintain a straight face. "I'm serious, we need to talk about this."

"Okay. Okay." Victoria shook her head and breathed in deeply. "I'm better now."

"Oh my God, I know what happened." Ethan's eyes brightened. "When I walked back in the locker room, George was coming out of this little private bathroom door."

"What door?" Jillian asked, confused.

"Yeah, he was um... he was..."

"What?"

"I think he had…" he grimaced, "… diarrhea."

"Diarrhea?" Jillian asked.

Victoria burst into a chuckle and Jillian stared her down.

"Sorry." Victoria covered her mouth with both hands.

"Yes, he was complaining about his dinner or something."

"Oh, but that still doesn't explain where the old man—"

"Okay, this is what must have happened. I swear I saw George in the steam room. I mean, it's foggy, but it was George." Ethan nodded. "So I came out to tell you everything was set and I didn't know that the bathroom was there. The old man must have been in there and when he came out, your husband rushed to the bathroom with his emergency situation and the old man took his place in the steam room."

Jillian narrowed her eyes, opened her mouth to speak, but had nothing.

"Wait, how the hell didn't you see that it was some old man you were about to molest and not your husband?" Victoria scoffed.

"Yeah…" Ethan muttered and they both looked at her, waiting.

"Um, well, it was dark and foggy and I don't know... he... He had a towel over his head and he looking down. It all happened so fast."

"Wait, did you touch it?" Victoria looked at her with her jaw hanging open.

"Touch what?"

"The old man's, you know, penis."

"Nooooo." She replied with the confidence clearly missing from her tone.

"You touched it didn't you?" Victoria smiled.

"I don't know..." Jillian cringed, horrified, "... maybe I brushed up against it when I was falling backward. I'm not sure."

Ethan and Victoria shared a horrified look as Jillian covered her face with her hands and plopped down on the bed.

"Look, it's going to be okay." Victoria sat next to her and placed a hand on her arm.

Jillian gave her a pleading look. "We have to get rid of that robe."

"No, they have cameras everywhere— especially watching for things falling off the ship. I guarantee you they will see if we throw it overboard."

"How do you know?"

"I watched this whole
'Crime Aboard Cruise Ships'
special on
20/20
."

"Really?"

"Yes, they record everything."

"Oh, shit."

"I'll hide it in my luggage," Victoria said. "There is no way they'll be doing some cabin-to-cabin search for it. You hardly ever hear about crimes on cruise ships do you?"

"Well, no."

"They have their share of problems, but I learned on
20/20
they always sweep everything under the rug. They don't want any scandal or controversy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you could murder someone onboard and they wouldn't care," Victoria added.

"No way." Jillian shook her head.

"Okay, I'm exaggerating, but something small like this will all blow over. You'll see. Tomorrow it will all have been forgotten."

Jillian sighed. "But what about the security cameras?"

"You had the hood over your head the whole time, right?"

"Yeah."

"You'll be fine then." Victoria flipped her hand dismissively. "I'll bet the security tapes are being erased as we speak. A few years ago this guy disappeared off a ship on his honeymoon. They think he..." she made quote marks with her fingers, "...
fell
off his balcony. Supposedly the one camera that could have seen what was going on... that one camera... It malfunctioned. Now do you believe that?"

"No."

"I think the wife pushed him off." Victoria turned to Ethan. "I really do."

"Wow," Ethan said.

"I saw pictures of the guy and he had these weird nipples." Victoria made a face.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"He had these big weird nipples. Don't get me wrong, he was sorta handsome, but he—"

"Jesus, can we focus on the problem here instead of some guy's weird nipples?" Jillian rolled her eyes.

"Sorrrryyy..." Victoria shook her head from side to side, frowning. "I just thought hearing about his nipples might help take your mind off this."

"What?" Jillian looked at her like she was out of her mind.

"I don't know." Victoria shrugged. "Anyway like I said, they don't want any passengers to be upset. You won't hear another word about this and they'll probably offer the old man a bottle of champagne and fifty dollars off his next cruise. He'll be so excited he'll be pooping himself." She giggled. "Just like George."

Jillian glared at her.

"Sorry."

Ethan plopped down on a chair and narrowed his eyes. "I wonder why the hell they think you're a guy?"

"I was wearing that hood and it was dark and steamy in there."

"Yeah, but—"

"Besides..." Jillian motioned to Victoria with a nod of her head, "... those other guys thought you were a guy too."

"What other guys?" Ethan asked.

"Oh..." Victoria shrugged. "It turns out that one of those guys in the locker room while we were taking a shower saw me leaving the stall."

"Really?"

"Maybe he heard you panting while I was, you know, taking care of you." Victoria said proudly.

"Me!" Ethan scoffed. "Maybe he heard you when I was, you know, doing that to you. You were pretty loud."

"No, I wasn't. Remember when I did that thing to your balls and—"

"Okay," Jillian grumbled rolling her eyes. "Can we stop arguing over who makes more noise while doing
whatever
the hell you two were doing?"

Victoria shot her a look. "You say that like we were doing something wrong."

"No, I just—"

"Have you ever had someone lick you from behind in the shower?" Victoria gave her a snarky, yet suggestive look. "Have you?"

"Well, no."

"Too bad, I highly recommend it." Turning her attention to Ethan, Victoria smiled. "Maybe you were right— it was me making most of the noise. You were really doing a great job in there. Were you trying something new or…?”

Ethan began, "I read this article in a magazine and—"

"Okay..." standing, Jillian gave the two of them a tired look, "... I'm leaving."

"You wanna meet for drinks later?" Victoria asked.

"Not really." Jillian shook her head no and walked out the door.

She headed toward the bank of elevators not only dying of embarrassment from almost getting caught in the locker room, but also feeling horrible because George had never once done that to her in the shower. In fact, she couldn't remember a time they were actually in the shower together. Letting out a tired sigh, she pressed the button for the elevator.