From Ashes (26 page)

“God, I like that too,” he said softly as he looked at my cheeks.

“Connor.”

His eyes snapped back to mine. “I’ve always known I wanted to be a homicide detective, so right away I started working hard for it. Only been in homicide for six months, and the youngest guy next to me is thirty-four. But regardless, I’ve seen your driver’s license; I know you’re almost twenty. Not that it matters either way; you don’t act your age. You’re mature because of what you had to live through, and if I had to guess, I’d say Gage is a bit older than you too.”

“Twenty-two,” I responded immediately.

“Have you talked to him at all since you left?”

I didn’t respond, because I hadn’t.

“Has Gage tried to call you?”

My head and eyes lifted slightly to look into his. “No.”

He nodded and leaned in so his lips were at my ear. “Cassidy, you’re in love with someone who isn’t here. He hasn’t called, and he hasn’t come looking for you. Not only that, you haven’t tried to call him either, and we’ve been talking nonstop for three days, and first thing this morning you’re in my apartment to show me something extremely important to you. Not Gage’s . . . mine. We have—whatever this is between us, I know you feel it too. So what has to happen and what can I do to convince you to stay here with me, to be with me?”

“I’m sorry, but I have to go back to him. I see how it looks for you, but you don’t understand my past with Gage.”

“Then promise me, Cassidy.”

I waited until he was looking at me again. “I promise if it doesn’t work out with Gage, I’ll come back to you, Connor. But I need to tell you, he’s
it
for me. So I don’t want you waiting for me to come back, all right? I won’t lie to you, Connor, you mean something to me. I agree we have
something,
I know that and it’s pointless to act like we don’t. Other than you, Gage is the only guy I’ve ever felt anything like this for, and if he had never entered my life, I wouldn’t be able to walk out your door right now, but he has and he changed me completely. You’ll find someone who changes you too, but it isn’t me.”

“He’s very lucky.” Connor’s eyes roamed my face for a few seconds before speaking again. “I’m guessing you want me to put you down now.”

“I’d appreciate it if you would.”

He took a step away from the wall and set me on my feet. “I do like the tattoo, Cass. I like it a lot. I’m guessing you’ve been thinking a lot since Wednesday?” When I nodded he continued. “And you’re ready to start talking, am I right?”

I smiled. “I bought a plane ticket last night; I leave in four hours. I just had to come and see you first. I wanted to show you.”

“I’m glad you did. Not glad you’re leaving though.”

“You’re an amazing guy, Connor, thank you for everything.” I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I’d ask if I could take you to the airport, and I will if you want me to, but right now I’m going to be blunt and tell you I’m struggling with what I want and what I know you need. You already know I think you’re beautiful, but you come in wearing this, and that tattoo? Christ, Cassidy. I’ve never seen your smile this bright, and God, it’s sexy. So unless you’re ready for me to kiss you again, it would be best if I didn’t take you.”

“Then you probably shouldn’t take me,” I said with a small smile. “In a weird way, you arguing with me and letting me cry into your chest outside the coffee shop helped me more than Tyler or Gage has ever been able to. And you’re not the only one, you know. I’ll cherish these days I’ve had with you, I’ll never forget you, and I’ll always be grateful.”

“Cassidy.”

“Yeah?”

“Go, or I’m pushing you back up against the wall and this time I’m not letting you leave.” He smiled crookedly at me as his hand came to my waist.

I sidestepped toward the door. “Good-bye, Connor.”

“Bye, Cass.”

“
C
ASSIDY, WHAT THE
hell?” Jesse whispered as he stepped onto the porch and shut the door behind him. “You’ve been gone, what . . . two weeks? Gage’s a fuckin’ mess and now you’re here all of a sudden?”

“Jesse, it’s a long story. A
really
long story. You’ve seen Gage? When was the last time?”

“I haven’t seen him for a few days now, but every day for a while there he’d come into the shop and ask if I’d heard from you. So spill. What’s going on?”

I pressed the lock button on the fob for the SUV I went to buy after I’d taken a cab to Gage’s town home to find it completely cleared out. He’d graduated that morning, so I was guessing he was back at the ranch; I just hadn’t expected him to be gone so soon. Even with help, that was really fast to clear out a house and leave. I knew I had to get to the ranch to talk to him, but I needed to make this stop first.

“I can’t go into it all right now, but I need to talk to you about something else. Jesse, I just came into a lot of money, and I know you don’t like help but I want to help with your mom’s medical bills.”

Jesse looked at the Tahoe with wide eyes, then back to me. “First, I don’t want to know what you did to come into this money. Second, I’m stealing that car from you. Third, didn’t Gage tell you about the bills?”

“What? No, what happened with the bills?”

“Cass.” He sighed and grabbed my hand to lead me to the porch swing. “The day y’all first brought food over for us, when Gage took me outside, he said he and his dad had talked and were going to pay for all Mom’s bills. They even paid the mortgage last month.”

My heart swelled for the man I loved. I knew he had reservations when it came to Jesse, but he’d been silent about them since I told him about Isabella. Still, I’d never expected him to do something like this. “Oh, Jesse—”

“Yeah, tell me about it. And without the stress on either of us, I can see how much easier it is on Ma. Only having to concentrate on fighting the cancer has helped her a lot. It’s been a blessing. But, Cassi, tell me why you left.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “Can I come in? I grabbed some groceries so I could make you two an early dinner. I went home to see Gage, but he’s already back at the ranch. I was going to go there but it’ll be too late and I’ll need it light when I drive to find my way, so I’ll wait ’til tomorrow. If you want, you and Isabella should come with me, so Gage’s family can meet her.”

Jesse grinned. “I think we’d both like that. Why don’t you sleep here tonight, we’ll leave early tomorrow, yeah?”

I could have gone to Tyler’s, but I didn’t know if he was still in town. I hadn’t talked to him since he’d come back either. “All right, help me with these groceries. I’ll get the food started, then I’ll tell you guys everything. But first, I think I need a hug from your mom. I’ve missed her.”

His crooked grin turned into a full-blown, blinding smile that reached his dark eyes. “She’s missed you too. It’ll be good to have a Cassidy meal again.” He winked and nudged my side before helping me up and following me to my new Tahoe. “Stealing this car,” he mumbled as we approached it.

“How about this: you can have this if you give me your ’69 Camaro.”

He looked appalled. “Oh
hell
no.”

“That’s what I thought. I’ll keep my pretty beast, and you can keep your baby.” That car
was
his baby. He’d tried to sell it a hundred times to help with his mom’s bills but she would hide the keys so he couldn’t drive or sell it. I knew he would’ve in a heartbeat, but I bet he was glad he still had it.

“Stealing this car,” he breathed again, and I laughed as we shut the doors and headed back up to the house.

Chapter Sixteen

G
AGE

I
WAS JUST
pulling up to the main house on the ranch as Dad was getting ready to start the day. He took one look at me and hung his head, let it shake to the side once, then came over to me and pulled me into a hug. One I didn’t, couldn’t, reciprocate.

“What happened?” he asked when he pulled back.

“She’s gone.” I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, but fuck, it did. My world, my heart, was gone.

“She gonna stay in California?”

“Nope.” I let the word pop and looked over toward the stables. “Got to the house and Aunt Steph was surprised as all get-out to see me. Said Cass asked her to take her to the airport that morning when she got back from getting coffee. Cassidy’s words: ‘I need to leave, would you please give me a ride?’ She’s gone, Dad. I came right back and drove through the night.”

“Shit, son, well, maybe she’s coming back to Texas.”

“And still not calling me?” I laughed humorlessly and shook my head. “No, Dad, she’s gone.” I had to bite my tongue and looked over at my hand, which was gripping the door to my truck. Slamming it shut, I yelled, “Damn it!” My hand fisted and I wanted to punch something, anything, but like Tyler had said, my temper was what had driven her away. I let my back hit the door and slid down ’til my ass was on the ground and let my head fall into my now-relaxed hands.

Dad sat down next to me, and before I knew it, Mom was out there in front of me with her hands on my knees, staying quiet, which was completely out of character for Mama.

“She’s it. Cassidy’s it for me, I’ve never doubted that, not since I first met her. Y’all know what Tyler did to us; y’all know why it was so hard for us. And now? Now I can’t blame anyone but myself. I pushed her away, and this time she’s not coming back.”

“If she’s it, then she’ll come back,” Mama said hopefully.

“Not this time, Mama.”

After a couple minutes, Mom spoke again. “You’ll find someone, Gage.” But even she sounded doubtful. She’d been worried when Cassidy and Tyler broke up, but after I’d told them about what Tyler had done to me and Cass . . . hell, Mama was practically planning our wedding.

“Yeah, I will,” I said, surprising the shit out of both of them by the looks on their faces. “But she’ll never be Cassidy, she’ll never have me. Not the way Cassidy does. She’ll always be the girl for me, no matter what.” I mumbled the last part, then stood and walked into the house, up the stairs, and to my room to take a shower.

After, I lay on my bed for a couple hours before going down to the kitchen to grab breakfast. The girls looked at me like they still hated me, and I hated me too. “Goin’ for a ride,” I announced when their glares got to be too much. Hell, Emily at barely six was glaring just as good as Amanda was.

When I got out to the stables and got to Bear, I just stood there staring at him, thinking about the night on the hill with Cassidy, the tattoo on her arm, and the way it felt to have her sitting in front of me on my horse. With a reluctant sigh, I greeted him and ran my hands over him before saddling him up and heading out.

C
ASSIDY

I
HOPPED OUT
of my SUV and waited until Jesse pulled in behind me. Taking in a deep breath and loving the smell of the ranch, I stretched my body and went over to help Isabella out of the Camaro.

We’d woken up really early that morning, and after a quick breakfast and making sure Isabella felt up to the journey, we set off. Isabella was more than excited; knowing she was meeting the family had her feeling amazing, even through the sickness. I know I should have called, but I
still
couldn’t bring myself to first talk to Gage over the phone. His truck and Ty’s Jeep were the first things I’d noticed when we pulled up. I was surprised that Tyler was there, but I’d been out of contact for a bit and they’d always been close, so I was really happy for them.

I’d just gotten Isabella out when Tyler came running out of the house, followed closely by all of Gage’s sisters. I took a few steps from Isabella, since it didn’t look like Tyler was going to stop, and was glad I did when he grabbed me and swung me around.

“Damn it, Cassi, you have so much you need to talk to him about. He’s . . . he’s really fucked up, sweetheart.”

I nodded my head against his shoulder before he let me down.

“Whose Tahoe?” he asked appreciatively. “And who are they?” he asked, looking at Jesse, who was holding his mom up.

“Uh, my Tahoe, bought it yesterday.” I grinned impishly. “And this is Jesse and his mother, Isabella.”

“You’re Isabella!” Amanda gasped, and she quickly came to my side to hug me, touch my cheek gently with her fingertips, and smile brightly at me. “I’m so happy you’re here, Cass,” she said softly, then turned to Isabella and Jesse to introduce herself.

I was surrounded by hugs from Nikki and Emily and quickly explained to Tyler who Jesse and Isabella were. I’d told them last night about everything, so they knew about the fight, the fire, California, and Tyler, but Jesse still didn’t seem to like Tyler all that much. I did notice he and Amanda couldn’t take their eyes from each other though, and Isabella took one look at them, turned to me, and winked.

Emily and Nikki tugged me toward the house, Amanda helped Isabella, and Jesse and Tyler got all the bags and followed us in. When Gage’s mom, Tessa, heard us all come in, she walked out of the kitchen and actually dropped her wooden spoon as she ran to engulf me in a hug that lasted for what felt like minutes. When she pulled back, her eyes were bright with tears and she was touching my cheeks just as Amanda had done.

“Oh my sweet girl, thank you.”

My eyebrows drew together in confusion, but I didn’t have time to ask what she was thanking me for because it was then that she noticed Jesse and Isabella, and the next round of introductions took place. Of course, she grabbed the phone and called Gage’s dad right away, telling him that he had to come back immediately. Not ten minutes later, he waltzed in, took one look at me, and a huge grin broke out from under that Sam Elliott mustache. He took large steps across the room and picked me up off the floor to hug me before setting me back down.

“Damn, girl, it is good to see you in this house.”

“Thanks, John,” I said softly. I just hoped Gage felt the same way. “John, this is Jesse and his mother, Isabella. They’re the family you’ve been helping.”

Isabella was crying softly and Jesse actually left her side and walked right up to John to hug him. John’s eyes went wide with shock and his hands came up and patted Jesse’s back. When Jesse stepped back and tried to thank him, no words would come out and he just hung his head. John patted his shoulder and walked past him to sit next to Isabella on the couch and pull her into a hug as the rest of the family had done.

Tyler wrapped an arm around my waist and touched the exposed part of my back. “That’s awesome, Cass, when’d you get it?” he whispered.

“Thursday. Where’s Gage?” I’d bought a couple of those racer-back tanks; the one I was wearing today was a dark green, the same color as Gage’s eyes, eyes that I’d spent way too long without.

He pulled me back a ways from the living room toward the dining room. “The girls said he went out to ride a couple hours before you got here. He must have gotten back sometime early this morning; I was still asleep when he did and when he left.”

“Gotten back?”

“He went to California yesterday to get you, Cass; got to my parents’ house, and my mom told him you were gone. From what Aunt Tessa said, he thinks you’re
gone
gone. I’m tellin’ you, Cass. He’s. Fucked. Up.”

“He went to California? How did he know I was there? Did you tell him?”

Tyler looked at me like I was dense. “Cass, come on, I told him when we were in the airport before we even left Texas. I thought you just left without a word. He’d already woken up and was looking for you. He told me about the note you left him—not a good choice, by the way.” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Wait! He has known where I was for two weeks and he didn’t try to come get me or call me before yesterday?” Connor’s words in his apartment yesterday morning started flooding my mind.

“Gage and I decided it was best. You were slipping away, and it was because of what Gage had done. If he had tried to push you by calling or coming right away, which he wanted to, we both agreed it would have just pushed you even farther away. We agreed to let you work it out and wait for you to come back to him, but he’s been so messed up, yesterday he just couldn’t wait any longer.”

“But now he thinks I’m gone,” I said softly.

Tyler nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart, he thinks it’s over.”

His words felt like a physical blow and I bent slightly, reaching out to grab Ty’s arm to keep myself standing. “It can’t be. I just had to deal with what happened, I had to fix me. And I did. I couldn’t come back to him without fixing
me
.”

“You guys will figure it out—you’re meant for each other.” He kissed my head and wrapped his big arms around me. “Just be easy on him, all right? Like I said, he’s not doing well.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, and looked back over at Isabella. I remembered all the stories she’d told me of her true love during the times I’d come to visit her, and how she was so sure Gage and I were soul mates and would be together forever. God, I hoped she was right.

G
AGE

B
EAR AND
I
were making our way over the last hill before the main house came into view. I’d spent the morning staring at the house I’d built with Dad, unable to make myself go inside. We’d run for a bit to get some pent-up energy out of Bear and for me to try to clear my mind, but nothing helped; it just reaffirmed that Cass was gone. As soon as I saw the house, I saw the other cars, and when we got closer, I noticed a brand-new Tahoe and familiar Camaro . . . Jesse’s.
Shit,
I thought,
something happened to Isabella.

Making quick work of taking everything off Bear, I left him out in one of his fields so he didn’t have to go back into the stable and forced myself into the house. I’d come to really like Isabella over the past two months; she was just as sweet as Mama, and she always welcomed me and Cassidy into the house. I dreaded the day Jesse would call with the bad news. And today, I just didn’t think I could handle it.

I heard laughter when I opened the door and, when it shut, the noise stopped completely. There was a buzz in the air and it was making my heart race. I felt like I should have known what was happening, but I was so far gone from what was going on with Cassidy, I couldn’t focus on it enough. Turning the corner to the living room, I stopped dead and gripped the corner of the wall.

Cassidy, Isabella, and Mama were sitting on the main couch, each with completely different expressions on their faces, but all I could focus on was Cassidy’s. She looked like she was about to burst, like she’d just seen the sun for the first time and was terrified that it was about to be taken away from her.

She slowly got off the couch and made her way to me, stopping when she was just inches from me. All I could think about was the fear she’d had in her eyes the night she left and how she’d flinch away when I tried to touch her. The fear on her face now was nothing like her fear of me, so I slowly brought my hand up, dragged the tips of my fingers across her right cheekbone, and cupped her face. Not once did she flinch, not once did she blink, and her body didn’t still when I touched her; it relaxed.

That was all I needed to know.

I grabbed around her waist to haul her body to my chest and crushed her mouth to mine. Not caring that my entire family was staring at us. Not caring about anything except for that little noise in the back of her throat, and that her arms immediately went around my neck, her hands taking off my cowboy hat and letting it fall to the ground, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. Without another word I walked us out of the house and toward my truck, cursing when I realized it was blocked in. A second later the Tahoe bleeped and the lights flashed, and Cassidy smiled slyly as she handed me the fob.

“How?”

“I’ll explain everything. Can we go to our spot?”

Kissing her soft lips once, I whispered against them, “I’ll do one better.”

I drove us to the house and watched Cassidy’s confused face as it came to view. “What is this place, Gage?”

Swallowing hard, I grabbed her hand and looked at her. “It’s our house, darlin’.”

At the word
our,
her head whipped around to mine and her eyes went wide. “Our house?” she whispered. “We have a house?”

“If you want it.” Her eyes went bright with unshed tears and she turned to look out the windshield, taking in everything about the outside. “C’mon. Let’s talk and I’ll show you around.”

We walked around the house first. The entire time she held my hand tightly, and her other hand was covering her mouth, which was wide open. By the time we got inside, I couldn’t go any farther; I pulled her to me and kissed her long and hard. Something about being in our house ignited something in both of us and the kiss quickly escalated.

I was kicking off my boots at the same time as I unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them over her hips, taking her lacy black underwear with them. My fingers trailed over her heat and I damn near died when I found her completely ready for me. She moaned and arched against my hand when I slid two fingers in her and her gasp filled the empty house. Her head had fallen back, and she righted it, trying to focus her eyes on my plaid button-up. When she was tugging it down my arms, I took my fingers away and helped her remove the shirt, laying it flat on the floor before standing up and grabbing that sexy-as-sin green shirt she was wearing and pulling it, and another light shirt I hadn’t noticed, off her, revealing Cassidy without a bra.

“Babe,” I growled, and bent to take one of her perfect breasts in my mouth, loving the way her fingers slid through my hair as she gently kept my head in place.

Too soon her hands were gone, but then they were at my jeans and in no time she had them off and had taken my length in her hands, and I had to struggle to stay standing as I kicked the jeans and boxer-briefs away from us. Removing her hands from me, I hitched her legs up around my hips and helped lay her on my shirt on the floor.