From Lies to Promises (20 page)

  “You are so damn beautiful, Katrina.” He says closing the space between us, “And all mine.”

  “Promise?”

  “I
promise.
”

 
I have experienced some amazing sex with Ryder before, I don’t know if this time was different because it was like make-up sex or because I have finally admitted that I love him, too. I’ve heard the expression making love before, but to experience it is a whole new promise.

***

              Ryder drops me off the next morning at TJ’s so I can get my car. “You coming over tonight?” I ask him before I get out of the car.

  “That depends.” He replies.

  “Depends on what, exactly?” I ask, eyebrow arched because he has that look that says he is up to no good.

  “What you plan on cooking me, woman!” He laughs letting me know he is somewhat kidding, but I give him a good whack to the arm anyways.

  “I’m sure I can scrounge up something.” I say. I give him a swift kiss on the cheek and climb from the car. About the time I make it to the car Ryder yells at me.

  “Yes?”

  “I love you, Katrina.” My heart melts into a pool at my feet.

  “I love you, too.”
He smiles like he just won the lottery and speeds out of the parking lot. I pull the keys from my purse and unlock the doors.

  “You are just asking to get your heart broken, aren’t you?” I raise my head to look over the r
oof of my car to see TJ standing at the bar entrance, leaned against the brick and his arms folded across his broad chest.

  “Eavesdropping now? Jeez. What I do is no
ne of your concern, TJ.” I note.

  “It is my concern, Kat. I care about you too much to see you hurt. With everything that Lexi told me, it just means you are more vulnerable.” He protest
s.

  I get it. The way I have acted most of my life people think I am this weak person that can’t care for herself. But the truth is I have been taking care of myself since I was too young to have too. Thundering mad I don’t hold back, “No, TJ. That doesn’t make me
vulnerable. If anything that makes me more than capable of guarding my heart to keep it from breaking. Having gone through all that I did, when I did and surviving makes me stronger than most.” My breathing is rapid. I close my eyes to try and calm down before I continue, “TJ, thank you for trying to help, but really if you bring that shit up again, I will take a damn bat to your balls. Understood?”

  He just
stands there and scowls at me. Since it doesn’t look like he is going to say anything further I get in the car and drive away. When I look in the rear view mirror he is still there leaning against the wall but the mean mug is gone. It’s replaced by a look of sorrow.

 
I call Jamie to tell her I am on my way to get her. Hanging up the phone I toss it in the passenger seat and crank up the music, a smile present on my face the whole way to Jamie’s house. I don’t have to text her or beep the horn when I get there because she is sitting in the steps of her porch. When I pull to a stop she walks over and gets in the car. She doesn’t say hey, or even look at me.

  After a few minutes I turn the music off and ask, “What’s up, chicka?
Why the long face?”

 
“What long face? Nothing’s wrong. I’m perfectly fine.” She says as she throws on a smile. One so similar to my many smiles I have given in my life. Fake. Just for show.

 
“Oh, no. Don’t even play that game with me little lady. I know more than anyone when someone is putting on a front. Now, what’ the matter.” I scold her.

  Looking down at her hands in her lap she shakes her head.

  I reach over and grab one of her hands and give a squeeze. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that.” I assure her.

  She holds my hand back tight the whole way to the house. She never responds to me, just sits there quietly looking out her window. I have never seen her act this way. When we get to my house she gets out and stays in front of me all the way to the door. I catch up to her and grab her arm forcing her to look at me. When she does I finally realize why she wouldn’t look at me. One of her eyes is black and blue and her lip is busted in the corner.

  “Oh, Jamie. No. Who did this?”

  Again her eyes are
downcast to her hands as she picks at her cuticles. “No one did this to me. On purpose anyways. We were playing volley ball in gym yesterday and the ball hit my eye. I fell and busted my lip on the floor.” She brings her fingers to her mouth, “See it’s not as bad as it looks.”

  I balk at her like she is insane. “You seriously don’t expect me to believe that bullshit do you?”

  That gets her to look me in the eyes, “You should believe it because it’s the truth. End.Of.Story.” She pushes open the door and storms over to the couch, flopping down on it to make her point that she was done talking.

As I head to the kitchen I hear Skeigh come out of her room, “Man, I drank way too much last night.” She pauses, “Woah, what the fuck happened to your face?”

 
I stop and listen to see if she gets an answer from Jamie, but when she doesn’t get an answer I go back to the task I had set out to do, rummaging the cabinets looking for what to cook tonight. Lexi comes in sometime later. “What ya looking for?”

  “Nothing specific. Just seeing what we can put together for supper tonight.” I pull my head out from the cabinet and look at her, “Got any ideas?”

  Lexi chews her bottom lip as she thinks. “No, not a clue but I’m sure we can find something.”

  An hour later we are putting a chicken casserole in the oven and crashing on the couch with Skeigh and Jamie.
We just start one of our shows to catch up on when someone knocks on the door.  

  “Who the hell is that?” Skeigh ask, pausing our show.

  “I dunno. Maybe it’s Ryder coming by early.” I suggest. When I swing open the door it isn’t Ryder standing there, it’s Victoria.

 
She walks right in without an invitation. When I shut the door she turns to me and explains, “I wanted to drop this off to you.” She hands me a few papers. “It’s the final version of the article. This will be what goes in the magazine. Read it word for word, make sure everything is right. Let me know if there is something that needs to change. Our November issue is already complete for print, so this will be in the December issue.”

 
Looking at the papers in my hand, I don’t know what happens but I can’t breathe. It’s like all oxygen has left the room, my lungs burn. I drop the papers as the girls all race up to me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s ok. It’s ok. Calm down.”

  “Holy Hell. What do we do?”

  I hear them, but I’m not paying attention. Lexi grabs my face in her hands in gets in my sight, “Katrina, it is ok. You are having a panic attack. I need you to concentrate on me, put your entire focus on me. Watch me breath and you do the same.”

  After a few deep intakes of air I am better.
I stand up and get a little light headed. Victoria comes to stand in front of me, all my girls, sisters, behind me. “Can you do this? Can you let me print this?”

  “Yes. I’m fine. I
think it finally hit me, ya know? I just realized that it is all recorded and will be put out there for anyone to see.” I tell her.

 
“Remember what I told you before, honey. You are an amazing woman. The things you have been through would have brought the strongest person to insanity, but you pushed right through.” She gives a gentle laugh, “Otherwise you wouldn’t be featured in the magazine.”

 
“Thank you, Victoria. You aren’t too bad.” I say giving her a small hug.

  She hugs me back, “You’re not too bad yourself, Kat.”

After she is gone and I pick up the papers from the floor, Jamie explodes. “What the crap was that all about? Anyone?”

 
We all look at each other wondering who was going to be the first to speak. “Um, pretty sure this is all you girl.” Skeigh says pushing me forward.

 
I put my hand on Jamie’s shoulder and usher her to the kitchen table. When we are both sitting I say, “I didn’t have what you would call an ideal childhood.”

  “Far from it.” Skeigh yells from the living
room.

  “Am I the one doing this, or would rather come in here?” I yell back.

  “Continue.”

 
“Thank you for your permission.” I holler one last time to Skeigh before going back to Jamie. “Anyways, here I think the best thing is for you to read this.”

  “Ok?”
She takes the papers from my hands and sits back in her chair to begin reading. Being the speed reader that she is it doesn’t take long. She sits up and places the article on the table. “Why would you want people to read this?”

  “I didn’t at first, but Victoria talked me into it. She said that I could help someone else that read my story understand that they aren’t alone, that it happens and we are the victims.” I repeated the words that Victoria had once told me.

  “Oh. That makes sense I guess.” She whispers.

  I have a feeling she wants to say something but doesn’t know how to. “Jamie.” She looks up at me and I see her eye again. “What happened to your eye? Please don’t lie to me this time.” I plead.

  “Its…well, it’s my dad. He gets mad sometimes when he works hard all day long and mom doesn’t have the house clean or food on the table when he comes home. But he has never hit me before, just mom. Really though it is nothing compared to what you went through, Kat.” She stutters.

  I sit there, without a word. Just trying to
figure out a way explain to her that it’s not nothing when it hits me, “Jamie, abuse is abuse no matter what kind it is, or how bad it can be. It’s still damaging both physically and emotionally. You shouldn’t brush it off so easily and neither should your mother.”

  She reaches up
to dry her eyes. “I’m just a kid. There isn’t anything I can do and mom is so scared of him.”

  I squat in front of her and wrap
my arms around her tiny waist. Laying her head on my shoulder she lets her tears roll silently. By the time she comes up for air my shirt is soaked but I don’t care. “There is no doubt of you staying here tonight. I can’t send you home until something is done.” I open my mouth to ask her how she is and there is another knock on the door. Lexi gets up to open it so I turn my attention back on Jamie. “You ok?”

  A sad smile appears, “Yeah, I’m good. Can we eat now that prince charming is here?” She laughs, nodding her head in the direction of the door.

  “My dear, you can call me, Ryder. No need for titles here.” Ryder says as he walks smoothly over to Jamie and me. He picks up her hand and places a soft kiss to her knuckles.

 
Skeigh walks past us, stops and turns back. “Holy shit! I just remembered that I walked in on you two practically getting it on last night.”

  “Yep and lets not bring it up again. Ok? Ok.” I walk into the kitchen and come back with plates and forks for everyone. As I set them out Lexi brings the
casserole to the table. “Wait. How did I get home last night?”

  Since we hadn’t
come up with anything to tell her last night since we were busy doing…well each other, I just shrug and say, “Hell if I know.” Which seems to be enough because she doesn’t ask anything more.

  The rest of the evening is relaxing. We eat ever last drop of the casserole, then gather in the living room and play video games for the rest of the night.
I’m not bragging or anything but I totally kicked Ryder’s ass. I don’t think he was really expecting girls to play video games and if so didn’t think they could be any good.

              I roll over in the bed and come face to face with Ryder.  He said he would stay with me last night instead of driving home so late but I think he was trying for a do over of the last time he was supposed to stay with me. I wasn’t going to complain either way.

  I lay there and take in this man. The one who saw the real me, even if he didn’t realize he w
as. He took all of the dark ugly things in my past and shoved them away. Accepted me for me, flaws and all. I run my fingertips over his face and down his arm.

 
Ryder’s eyes flick open suddenly, “Good morning.”

  I jerk my hand back and let out a squeal. “Shit! I thought you was asleep. You scared the crap out of me.”

  “How can I sleep with all the staring you’re doing?” He questions.

  I scrun
ch my face up, “Sorry. Did you sleep ok?”

  “Of course I did, I had you next to me.”
He assures me. I scoot closer to him and he palms my ass, giving it a firm squeeze through my thin cotton bottoms.

 
“Mmm. I slept pretty good awesome myself. Not sure it had anything to do with you though.” I tease.

  He pulls himself over me, arms on either side of my face
and straddles me. Leaning down close enough for our noses to brush, he ask, “Is that so?” With a broad smile I nod my head at him. Ryder’s face falls and he turns to get off of me. As I open my mouth to tell him I was just kidding, he jerks around and his fingers dig into my ribs. He tickles me till I have no oxygen left. Even then he doesn’t quit. “Now, what was it you were saying again? That you didn’t know if I was the reason you slept so sweetly last night.”