From Rags (16 page)

Connor speared a finger inside her and targeted her G-spot as his mouth latched onto her clit and suckled. She gave a loud cry as she came, shuddering and bucking. Her eyes were wild when she opened them again. They pulled at his soul, fired his blood and…there was another feeling but he didn’t want to examine it. He retrieved a condom from the bedside drawer, donned it quickly then settled his hips between her invitingly spread thighs. Locking one of his hands around both her wrists, he pinned them above her head and began to slowly work himself inside her. It was killing him to move slowly but she was so tight and he didn’t want to hurt her more than he already was. 

Jaxxon sucked in a breath as her muscles stretched to accommodate his girth. The pressure was unbelievably good, even with the burning; that edge of pain added to the pleasure like a cherry complimented a cake. Yes, the pain could stay. But this going slow business…that had to go. “You know, Connor, as big as your dick is, it’s not really the destructive weapon you apparently perceive it to be. And I’m
no
delicate flower of the north.”

“Jaxx, you’re tight and I’m so hard it hurts. I want you screaming in pleasure, not pain.” He added in a low voice, “I hurt you last time.”

“I liked it. I even relived the entire thing with my vibrator when I got home.”

He groaned and dropped his forehead to hers. “Don’t start talking like that again. I’m hanging on by a very thin thread here.”

She curled her legs around his hips. “If you won’t snap that thread, I will.”

The second her teeth sank into the flesh of his shoulder he was a goner. “Fuck.” He slammed home and his groan mingled with hers. Her muscles clamped around him and it felt so good. Better than he remembered. Along with the pleasure was relief; he was finally inside her, finally where he needed to be. It was agony not moving. “Jaxx, you okay?”

A good word to describe what she felt was ‘full’. So unbearably yet blissfully full. Her intense gaze pierced him. “Fuck me, Connor.”

And there went his sanity. His control was utterly shattered; reason and rationality gone. His lips set in a merciless slash as he ruthlessly powered into her at a frenzied pace. “Is this what you want?” he gritted out in a harsh voice.

“Yes,” she hissed. His mouth took hers in a hot, urgent, dominating kiss. She returned the kiss and drew his tongue into her mouth, teasingly sucking it just as she had his cock. Logic told Jaxxon that they were as close as it was possible for two people to be, and yet her body repeatedly writhed and twisted and arched beneath him in an anxious bid to be closer. He seemed to have the same frantic need as his hands grabbed, shaped, clutched, squeezed and kneaded her body like he was trying to mold her to him. It was like they were fevered with need, drugged by each other. The tension just continued to build inside her, winding her body tighter and tighter.

Connor groaned as her nails dug into the flesh of his back. “That’s it, babe, scratch me.” The sweet pain had him driving into her impossibly harder, wrenching louder moans from her. He knew this was going beyond rough but he also knew nothing could make him stop. Every nerve ending was aflame with the skin-to-skin contact. Every sense was honed on Jaxx, making him totally attuned to her so that he knew exactly when her release was imminent before she even spoke.

“Connor,” she rasped, “I’m going to come.”

By then he had already adjusted his position slightly so that he ground against her clit with every hard thrust. She was practically sobbing now. “Come for me, Jaxx. Let me feel you come.” Seconds later she shattered, screaming, as her muscles clamped bitingly around his cock, triggering his own climax. He bit out a harsh expletive as he exploded with what had to be an unnatural force.

The first thought that Connor had when his brain collected itself was: Again. Inwardly he snickered. Even after she had sucked him like a hoover, even after he had uncovered and tasted every inch of her and lived out his fantasy, he still wanted her. Instead of feeling less desperate for her touch, he was ready and eager for his next fix. Conscious of his heavy weight crushing her, he rolled onto his back, taking her with him so he could remain inside her, and lazed her over his chest. Both of them were breathless, limp, and being racked by reverberations. He closed his eyes, well and truly sated.

Jaxxon was glad he couldn’t see her face. She didn’t want him to read any of what she was feeling. She had been apprehensive about them using a bed, worried that it might make everything seem that more much intimate, worried that she wouldn’t find it so easy to keep a chunk of herself detached and safe. It turned out that she had been right to have such concerns. A traitorous voice within her was insisting that Connor wouldn’t have spent such time exploring and pleasuring her and wouldn’t hold her so close if this was all physical. The fourteen year old girl in her fully agreed. That naive little girl could stop that crap right now! This was
Connor
for God’s sake! It didn’t mean anything that he had been so attentive; of course he was good at sex, he’d had plenty of practice. She supposed that she shouldn’t be too hard on herself – he had promised her that he would fuck her ’til she couldn’t think straight and that was exactly what was happening. Oh she did like a bloke who made good on his promise.

“Tell me how you ended up getting into modeling.” It was good to be able to form a coherent sentence again. “I just can’t picture you pursuing that kind of career.”

Keeping her face buried in his chest, she responded tiredly, “Richie approached me when I was working in The Lion’s Head.”

“Richie?”

“Agent.”

“Oh, right. Wait, The Lion’s Head? What were you doing working in that shithole?”

She shrugged. “It was a job, that was all that mattered.”

“Where were you living?”

“The block of flats near the pub.”

He winced internally. The whole time he’d been living the life of Riley she’d been stuck there. He would have apologised if he hadn’t known she would get pissed off with him if she thought he pitied her. “I’m guessing Selfish Arse left you to be the bread winner.” If there was one person in the world he despised, it was that self-involved bitch who was single-handedly responsible for Jaxx’s low sense of self-worth. The only times Jaxx had ever closed her eyes to the truth were when it concerned Leah. She never wanted to see that Leah was actually a chronic liar and pathetic attention seeker who could always be counted on to hurt Jaxx in some way. And why would Leah do that? Because she could.

Jaxxon did her best not to tense at his words, but that one sentence told her something she had secretly wondered over. Connor couldn’t
have seen Leah since she left care, whether it was because she hadn’t found him or he hadn’t responded to her attempts to contact him, if he assumed that she and Leah had gotten a flat together like they had once talked of doing. The sisters had even taken a blood oath when they first went into foster care that neither would ever leave the other. Snort.

Not wanting to talk about Leah, she changed the subject. “How did you get into F1 racing?”

“It was about three months after I’d left care. I was walking home from my late-night shift at McDonalds when a red Ferrari passed me and stopped at some posh restaurant just ahead.”

“Oh Connor tell me you never.”

“Of course I did. I’d always wanted to drive one and figured this was my only chance. What I didn’t know was that the bloke who owned it was a rally driver, and he had gone there to meet up with some mates of his who were rally drivers as well. So when I whizzed off in his Ferrari, him and his mate jumped into a Porsche and went after me. I managed to avoid them for ages but – for the first time in my life – I got caught. I was expecting to either get my head kicked in or get dragged before the Plod. Instead, the owner of the Ferrari offered me a placement in the Young Drivers Development Programme.”

“What did he say when he found out you didn’t have a license and were a self-taught driver?”

“Same thing you always said: that I could go far if I got my act together.”

Jaxxon closed her eyes, feeling contentedness wash over. Then her eyes snapped open as she suddenly became aware of two things. One, he was idly plucking at her curls the way he used to when they were younger. Two, this was becoming way too comfortable. A strong urge to bolt came over her. She moved to get up but he held her to him. “I need to pee.” She cocked her head. “That your phone ringing?”

It was. “Bathroom’s through that door.” He smiled as he pictured shagging her in his shower in about, what, five minutes? Digging his phone out of pants pocket he saw that it was Dane.

“I know it’s late,” said Dane, “but I figured you’d be up.”

Something in Dane’s voice had Connor tensing. Even though Jaxx was in the en-suite bathroom for the moment he went into the kitchen to take the rest of the call. “What is it?”

“I just got back from The Pool Hall about fifteen minutes ago. Guess who I found crying
fake
tears all over my couch. Anita Donovan.”

Great. “I thought she went back to L.A.”

“Well if she did, she’s back.”

“So sling her out on her arse.”

“I must admit that was my first instinct, but Niki stopped me. Something’s off about Anita. She’s up to something.”

Connor sniggered. “She’s always up to something.”

“Right, and we wouldn’t have known exactly what she was up to last time if she hadn’t told Niki first. Niki wants to let her stay with us, play the sympathetic mate, and see if she can get her to spill what her newest little plot is.”

“Mate, you don’t have to do that.”

“She’s pretty wound up about the rumours of you and Jaxxon Carter.”

Connor stiffened. His protective instincts come rushing to the surface and all he wanted to do was drive to Dane’s and throttle Anita.

“I’ve agreed to let her stay a week. Hopefully Niki can come through for us again. She knows what it’s like, we’ve been through this ourselves. And we don’t want another spoilt little princess starting some shit.”

When Connor went back into his bedroom, it wasn’t to find Jaxx naked on his bed as he’d pictured. Quite the opposite. It seemed that she was making another sharp exit. He grabbed the shoe she was reaching for, gaining her attention. He shot her a questioning look.

“I need a reason why I’m going home?”

“You need a reason why you’re rushing off.
Again
.”

“Oh,” she drawled as realisation dawned. “You’re one of those blokes.”

“What blokes?”

“The ones who like to do the leaving or the dictating when time’s up. You don’t like the reversal of roles. Well I’m sorry, Connor, but I didn’t come here to stroke your ego, I came here to stroke your cock, and I’ve done that.” She seized her shoe from his grip and slipped it on. “I’m shattered, and my bed is calling my name.”

“There’s a bed right there.” He double-blinked when he realised what he had just blurted out. Jaxx looked equally stunned.

“You want me to stay the night?”

No, he didn’t, he’d never spent the entire night with a woman. He actually had no idea why he was panicking – and he
was
being panicky – about the fact that she was going.

Jaxxon was fully expecting the ‘no’ in his eyes but it stung all the same. “If you’re still horny, I’m sure there are plenty of woman’s numbers in that Blackberry of yours.”

It wasn’t until she had walked passed him that the implications of what she had said settled in. “Are you shagging other blokes as well as me?”

She pivoted sharply. “Excuse me?”

“You seem to think I’d be up for shagging other people, so I’m asking if you’re doing the same.” Rage steamed from him as a thought formed. “Are you still shagging that ponce? He’s dead if you are.” A lesser man would have shrunk away from the anger blazing in her eyes.

“I’m sick
of you carrying on like this. You persist in thinking you have some kind of hold over me when you
do not
. And why wouldn’t I think you’re still spreading yourself about? My understanding is that this” – she gestured from her to him – “is about strictly sex. No strings, no commitments, no questions. Are you saying you want more than that?” she asked rhetorically, wanting him to realise how he was coming across. He looked away. “Exactly. Don’t expect anything of me that you wouldn’t expect of yourself.” With that, she swerved back around and headed for the door. She near jumped out of her skin when he suddenly sprung in front of her.

“Alright, what if…What if we both agree that while we’re…”

Amused at his struggle to describe their lack-of-a relationship, she supplied, “While I’m your replacement shag doll?”

Connor did a double take. She had to know he’d never think so little of her. “While we’re having casual sex
-
”

“Oh very primly put.”

“- we don’t see other people?” He knew he sounded
over-
possessive and unable to control his jealous streak, but it wasn’t just about that. The idea of another bloke touching her made him feel sick. As he’d waited in her apartment after the charity event and the hours had ticked by with no sign of her, he’d known she was busy with her ponce. He had kept feeling more and more nauseous until he honestly believed he’d spew up. Now that he had been inside her and felt her come apart around him, the idea of another bloke touching her was even worse.

Jaxxon hadn’t expected him to say that. Not now. Not ever. It was a commitment – teensy, sure, but still one of sorts. It was a commitment that a woman wasn’t even guaranteed to get in an actual relationship. Not that Jaxxon thought he suddenly cared for her or anything. She was just surprised that he was willing to go to that length not to have to share her.

He gripped her by the nape of her neck and tugged her to him. “You won’t have time for anyone else anyway, not if I’m going to do all the things to your body I’ve got in mind.”

Jaxxon de-tensed as he massaged her shoulders. “Alright,” she agreed with a small nod. He seemed relieved. There would never have been a different answer from her, she hadn’t thought of anyone else since she heard his voice on her machine. “Got to go.”