From Rags (20 page)

“Jaxxon, please?”

Humungous sigh. “It’s not so much something he’s done. It’s just that…sometimes I just feel like he wants too much from me. First he wanted me to agree not to see anyone else then he’s complaining that I don’t ‘let him in’ and share all my past with him. And you know what really
gets to me? When he
does
want to see me he doesn’t phone, he just shows up and expects me to accommodate
him. Even worse, I do
.
I can’t help it, it’s like I’ve got no willpower when it comes to him. I’m just his beck-and-call girl and I hate it but I can’t seem to fight it.”

Anna nodded. “I was in a situation like that once. It proper scared me when I realised I always put my life on hold just in case
the bloke phoned. I’d be ready to drop anything if he wanted us to meet up – I literally didn’t feel like I had a choice in the matter, it was like I was obsessed. But he never used to give me any indication of when he’d phone next and we never did anything together other than meet and shag. I was like a doormat, I felt so weak…I almost hated myself. And him for taking me for granted. So you know what I did?”

“What?”

“Went abroad.” When Jaxxon’s eyebrows raised, Anna nodded. “I didn’t tell him I was going. I didn’t have
to because we weren’t serious as far as he was concerned. So when he next phoned and realised that I was out the country and, yes, I was going to have a life outside of him and that I wouldn’t always be dropping everything when he phoned, it made him do a double-take and then, suddenly, he stopped taking me for granted and shaped up.” She let Jaxxon consider that for a minute before adding, “I think you should do the same. That way, the next time Connor phones you’ll likely be abroad – it’ll shock the life out of him that will – so you won’t have to worry about trying to resist his offer because it just won’t be possible to see him, and with all that distance between you it might make you feel stronger. And it’ll teach him a couple of things.”

“Like what?” Jaxxon was starting to like Anna’s idea.

“Well, he’ll learn that he won’t always know where you are even with your work schedule. He’ll also learn that if he really wants to see you he’s going to have to do better than just materialising out of thin air or you might not be available. And it will serve to remind him that you have a life that exists outside of him that he can’t always invade as he pleases.”

Oh Jaxxon was really, really, really starting to like this idea. This was what she needed: some distance between her and Connor, a way of stopping herself from running into his arms when he next turned up out of the blue, and it would also be a change of scenery. As it was, Jaxxon had never been abroad in her life.

“And I’ll be coming,” Anna quickly added. “A girl’s holiday, just the two of us having a laugh and mellowing out.”

“Aw, Anna, you don’t have to do that, I know you’re enjoying spending loads of time with Warren at the minute -”

“All the more reason to go. It’ll teach him exactly what it will teach Connor.”

Jaxxon couldn’t stop a wide smile from creeping onto her face. “Where were you thinking?”

Leaning forward in her seat, Anna returned Jaxxon’s smile. “Ever been skiing?”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Is this who the Eastenders’ character Ian Beale is based on?
Jaxxon wondered as the cockney bloke in front of her heading for the Bunny Hill shot her what he seemed to think was a come-get-me smile that actually came across as I-am-so-creepy-so-stay-away-for-your-own-safety grin. He was obviously one of those blokes who had a wealth of experience in the art of freaking women out. Oddball.

She knew he didn’t recognise her or Anna as celebrities. How could he when they were each snug in several layers: long thermal top and bottoms, an additional long-sleeved t-shirt, a fleece sweater, ski jacket, ski pants, ski socks, neck warmer, helmet, goggles, a pair of waterproof winter gloves, and ski boots. It all gave them an anonymity that they needed right now. The fact that Jaxxon was a female was apparently all that was needed to inspire him to flirt so sleazily and poorly.

Only an hour after Anna having suggested the skiing trip they had booked their one-week holiday over the internet, booking a flight for the following morning, completely disregarding both their work schedules. Although Ollie hadn’t been thrilled, when Jaxxon mentioned that it was just them, no Connor, he had all of a sudden become very accommodating and supportive. Even to the extent that he offered to take Bronty in while they were gone.

Due to Anna’s love of alcohol and vibrant night life, they had settled on staying in Meribel, France – the centre of the Three Valleys with Courchevel and Val Thorens on either side – where the revelry could start as early as late afternoon within some bars and could carry on until ridiculous hours of the morning. In addition to that, Méribel has 150km of pistes and even had a few decent snowparks as well as lots of non-ski activities.

Earlier – literally two minutes after arriving at their challet – Jaxxon and Anna had had a little something to eat and then wrapped up warm in the clothes they had bought on their emergency shopping trip the night before. If they hadn’t been so excited about hitting the slopes, it would have been a struggle to leave their challet behind. It was amazing. Contemporary. Spacious. Lavish. Jaxxon’s favourite room was the living area which featured two leather sofas, a coffee table that was actually a varnished sledge, an open fire, and a 42' flat, wall-mounted widescreen T.V-DVD with UK Freeview and cinema surround sound. Happy days.

There was a very large, modern kitchen – all marble and chrome and immaculately clean – a dining area with a
long
slim oak table and chairs to match the solid oak flooring that ran throughout most of the challet. There were six bedrooms, all en-suite – yes they were being greedy booking something huge for just the two of them but they were determined to get something spacious…and that was exactly what they got.  Naturally she and Anna picked the most luxurious bedrooms; both with a gigantic sumptuous bed, modern furnishings, a wall-mounted flat screen T.V, a separate area for dressing, a balcony, and a stylish, pristine-white en-suite bathroom that had heated flooring. There was even a garage for their rented car. And then there was the icing on the cake…a Jacuzzi hot tub and sauna inside
and
outside. The views from the south and west facing terraces and balconies were absolutely breath-taking.

As they had ventured out to rent some ski equipment and arranged a beginner’s lesson, Jaxxon had soaked it all up; the ambience, the ethos, the views, the comfort and the idyllic blend of mountains and snow and the beautifully blue sky. Little by little all the tension had left her body and been replaced with excitement and anticipation. Though Anna had been skiing before, she didn’t consider herself above intermediate level and hadn’t wanted to leave Jaxxon so came along to the lesson. After going over the basics with them, the instructor decided they were ready to try the Bunny Hill. Although they had fallen a few times the instructor thought they were brilliant because neither feared falling so were quick learners.

“If he smiles at you one more time I’m going to whack him with my ski pole,” said Anna, gesturing to the Ian Beale lookalike in front of them. “He’s severely creeping me out.” She shuddered, and it wasn’t from the cold temperature. “Not that I’m at all complaining but why did you slap his helmet?”

“He said he loved
my voice and asked if I worked for a sex hot line.”

Anna gasped. “The cheeky git!”

“Want to see me ski backwards?” he asked.

“Nope,” replied Jaxxon as Anna said, “Not even a little bit.” He didn’t seem deterred, not even when their instructor, Todd, directed an impatient glare at him. Jaxxon might have snapped at him if she hadn’t been distracted by the cute sight of a bunch of kids snowballing-to-death a man dressed up in a reindeer suit, or at least she was assuming it was a bloke. She remembered the time she had been in a military type snow fight with Leah and Roland and –

She let the thought stop dead right there.

The Bunny Hill, Jaxxon soon discovered, was a small slope that had a chairlift to take them to the top. As they waited in the loading area, she saw that Anna was nervous. “What’s up?”

“I don’t like these things. There was a rope tow when I last used a Bunny Hill. Then the first time I went to a beginner’s hill and used a chairlift I couldn’t pluck up the courage to push myself off.” And then she had been embarrassed as shit when someone from Ski Patrol stopped the lift and helped her down.

“That’s because you didn’t have me to bitch-slap you into moving your arse.”

Anna laughed. “It might actually come to that.” Even with Todd’s encouragement, Anna found herself fidgeting apprehensively. Side by side, she and Jaxxon waited for a chairlift to come around and then, holding both poles in one hand, smoothly sat on it, allowing it to take them up. Like Jaxxon, she kept the tips of her skis pointing upwards as they moved up. “Bugger, bugger, bugger,” she chanted nervously.

“Anna, do you really want to go home and tell Warren you got stuck on a moving couch?”

That was all the motivation Anna needed to straighten her shoulders. As she had told Jaxxon, it kind of intimidated her to know that Warren was an Olympic medal winner. She had never been into sports, and even though she was a celebrity the same as him she wasn’t doing a job that meant she represented her country or that people looked up to her. Mostly people just drooled
over her. She didn’t want Warren to think that that was all there was to her; that they couldn’t enjoy the same things. And after him telling her that he loved skiing and would love to take her himself some time, she was determined to get some good practice in so that she didn’t make a fool of herself. Anna told Warren about the holiday but swore him to secrecy; he was not allowed to tell Connor a single detail. He swore he wouldn’t. In fact, it didn’t take much convincing. He seemed to like the idea of Connor being subjected to a little torture. Those boys loved winding each other up. Only one thing concerned her: Warren was a very crap liar.   

“Remember,” said Jaxxon as they neared the unloading station, “point your skis forward and push away as the chair goes around.” After wincing at the sight of the creepy sod on the chair in front making a daring jump off the chairlift and ending up colliding with another skier, the pair glided off the lift and to the side, clear of the upcoming chairlifts.

Anna made a rejoicing sound. Funny how being set on impressing your boyfriend could make you face your fear. At last they came to the slope, and just in time to watch the creepy bloke do an elaborate toss over and become closely acquainted with a tree. She flinched at the spectacle. “Do you think that was an attempt at suicide?”

Jaxxon shrugged. “If it was, it was ill thought out. Someone should have told him a run-up is always advised. On a lighter note, it’s our turn.”

“Right, you go first.”

Remembering all that the instructor had told her, Jaxxon ensured her hands were through the straps on the poles which she held at her sides, she bent her knees and leant forward slightly, careful not to lean too far forward or else her skis may get all squirrelly. Then she assumed the ‘pizza’ position; her skis pointed together and heels pushed out, making a wedge with an open point.

She drunk in the view; admiring the enormous mountains and hills and trees and the way it looked as though a soft white marsh-mellow blanket covered everything. After taking a moment to appreciate the weird, nerve-wracking yet exciting feeling of being poised on the edge, she slowly began sliding down the slope. To pick up a little speed, she narrowed her pizza position, loving the liberating feeling that came with the descent. Knowing that she could so easily fall was unsettling but at the same time made the whole thing exhilarating. All of a sudden she felt invigorated.

As Jaxxon reached the bottom of the slope she widened the angle of her position which finally brought her to a smooth halt. But she didn’t express her delight with herself until Anna reached her side, also having executed a smooth slide down. They giggled like a pair of kids in a playground; overwhelmed by exhilaration and relief and a delicious adrenalin rush.

“Well done,” praised the creepy bloke appeared out of absolutely nowhere. “You’re both naturals at it. Looked like goddesses the way you did that so gracefully.”

And then he made the biggest mistake of his life: he attempted to touch Jaxxon. Having reached her limit with the randy bastard, Jaxxon leant toward him slightly. “Do you see this pole? If you don’t stay out of my face, I’m going to rip you another arse hole with it. Understand?” He gulped and nodded before awkwardly skiing away.

Anna sighed in relief. “Thank the Lord for that.”

After a few repeats at a smooth glide down the Bunny Hill, Jaxxon and Anna tried doing turns during their descent. When Todd eventually decided that they were ready to try a beginner’s hill, they went for a little something to eat and drink to boost their energy levels before then hitting the other slopes.

By the time they were ready to head back to their challet, Jaxxon found that although she was physically exhausted, having used muscles that she hadn’t known she had, her mind was energised. The whole experience was so strange…like being in some kind of suspended reality. With all the breathtaking views and the snowy mountains and the cold air and the wintery trees and the luxurious challet there was nothing to remind her of home. She found that she could literally forget everything; her stresses, her problems, even the rest of the world. With each day that passed all those pressures eased more and more.

Connor grunted and slapped down the set of cards. When did he get so bad at poker? Probably about the same time as he started abusing the test track and overdoing it at the gym and walking around with a permanent hard-on. All of which was brought on by the reappearance of –