From Rags (32 page)

“Let’s see how the sick sod gets on following me round the world,” she snickered.

“He might.”

“He didn’t follow me to France though, did he? So I’m thinking maybe his financial situation won’t permit it.” That was something which was concerning her all the more; the nutter would know that her tour starts soon so, with the knowledge that after that he won’t be able to get to her, he might make a desperate attempt to get at her in the next few days. Yeah, the sooner she left the better. Tomorrow sounded like a good idea. “Don’t tell Connor.” Not just because he would likely hit the roof, insisting she didn’t need to change her schedule for some nutcase, but because it would get him in a sulk and she wanted their last night together to be fun, not gloomy.

“I won’t be telling anyone other than Richie and Tony. You do the same. You can always phone Anna after you’ve left, she’ll understand. So will McKenzie.” Actually, he wasn’t so sure about the latter; the last time she went off somewhere without telling him, the bugger followed her. But Ollie had to admit that the bloke had been as sensitive as she had needed him to be today rather than a stampeding, seething elephant.

It was a while before everyone left so she was surprised Connor was still sane, let alone not red in the face. “Sorry about all that, I know you don’t like having people in here.”

“Oi, don’t be daft,” he said as he handed her the coffee that Lily had made her before leaving. He then searched her face as he settled next to her. “You alright?”

She nodded, smiling. She actually felt a bit better knowing that she was acting on what was happening, but she also felt like utter crap knowing that this was her last evening with Connor. “Louisa’s alright, that’s the main thing.”

“Exactly. We grew up around nutcases, what’s one more to add to the mix?”

She laughed. “I count you as one of those nutcases.”

“So you should. But, in my defence, I’m pretty much normal when you’re not around. It’s you who drives me mental.”

“Then I bet you can’t wait for me to get on this tour.”

He rained kisses along her neck. “Actually, I’m dreading it.”

“Dreading it?”

“I’ve told you, I’m totally addicted to you. I can’t get
enough of you.” He was beginning to think he would always feel like that, which meant that the decision of when this was over all rested on her. She literally had his soul in the palm of her hand and didn’t even know it. If it hadn’t been for the fact that this was her career they were talking about, not some holiday, he would have asked her not to go. In fact, if he thought he could get away with it he’d go along with her. However, not only would she tell him to sod off, but by that he would be implying that things were getting serious. “Don’t be surprised when I fly out to see you now and then.”

She snorted. “You’ll have a new bed-buddy within a week.”

“Oi, what have I told you? Don’t make out that I think that little of you.”

She might have argued the point with him if she wasn’t conscious of making the most out of their last night. “I apologise oh Lord and Master.”

He chuckled. “You really shouldn’t say that unless you want to be tied to my bed with me fucking you senseless.”

“Maybe I’ll let you do that later when I’ve got my new toys.”

He groaned against her neck. “You do know that I’ve been hard as a rock ever since you mentioned that goody bag you’ll be bringing back, don’t you? Take pity on me and don’t be too long.”

“The party’s only on for two hours.”

“Too long.”

A smile crept onto her face as the temptation to tease him overcame her. “Anna was telling me that she’s heard they give out edible body creams.” He groaned again. “I said as long as it’s chocolate flavoured I don’t mind using it. And you know what? Turns out that they do have that flavour.”

“Jaxx,” he groaned.

“I was wondering whether they’d put some in the bag, or maybe they’ll put in some kind of dildo. Or maybe they’ll put in both.”

He bit her neck. “Keep teasing me and I’ll end up shoving my painfully hard dick in your mouth, I won’t be able to help it.”

“Maybe later,” she whispered. That didn’t seem to help him settle. If anything, it made him worse. He looked so highly strung by the evening that it was a struggle not to laugh. This didn’t go unnoticed by Anna when they picked her up on the way to the party. Jaxxon saw her mouth twitching in an effort not to laugh.

   “Remember,” said Connor gravely when he stopped the car outside their host’s house, “don’t come out until I’ve phoned to say I’m here.”

“Yes oh Lord and Master,” she said in a voice just as serious. Anna chuckled quietly.

“You’re so lucky Anna’s in the back of the car or I’d be fucking you right now just for teasing me like this
again.
”

“We’ll be late if you do that.” Anna hopped out of the car and quickly went to the passenger door to haul Jaxxon out of the car. Connor was kissing her now; it was a sweet yet deep kiss, and it made Anna sigh. Why was the bloke such an idiot? She had thought that over time he’d come to realise how much he cared for Jaxxon and then he’d shape up. But whatever was holding Connor back had a tight rein on him and he wasn’t going to offer Jaxxon anything more. Anna could see that now. He would never have asked her to stay in his apartment if he had thought it might lead to something permanent, just like he would moan about her going on this tour without him if he really wanted there to be more between them. Dane and Warren had agreed with her on that.

Oh Connor would acknowledge his mistake eventually but Anna suspected that by then it would be too late; Jaxxon wouldn’t let him barge back into her life a second time. He might not mean to, but he was going to hurt her in a big way when he waved her off at the airport, which was why Anna intended for the next few months to be utter torture for Connor. She was going to make sure that Jaxxon left this party with plenty of toys and lingerie, and Anna was going to encourage her to use them all Sunday night – her and Connor’s final night together. She wanted Jaxxon to be so stuck in Connor’s mind that he wouldn’t be able to be with another woman without thinking of Jaxxon. If Anna got her way, the torture would be so bad that he would have to buy a new bed if he was ever to get a good night’s sleep again. Well she had warned him not to hurt Jaxxon, hadn’t she?

The host, Nina, ushered them inside the second she opened the door. She was so excited that her words were coming out in a high-pitched voice. Jaxxon had only met Nina two or three times, but she liked the extremely tall auburn-haired girl. She reminded her a lot of Anna, only she was a very confident creature but not to the point of having a swollen sense of self-importance. Jaxxon liked that.

As Jaxxon expected, the gathering of fifteen was females only and all eighteen or over. It soon became very apparent why. Not only was some seriously kinky lingerie and nightwear from the Ann Summers catalogue being passed around by the party organiser, but they were also encouraged to play a number of games that made even Jaxxon blush.

During one game, so innocently named ‘Blind Chocolate’, two pairs got up; one from each pair got blindfolded while the other lay down. Then the blindfolded woman had to find and eat the chocolates that had been laid over the body of their friend who was lying still on the floor. Some of the people who had been placing the chocolates over the women had rested them on some questionable places.

The party organiser also put a whole new spin on the game ‘Pass the Parcel’. Not only were there forfeit slips within some of the layers, but there were also occasionally mini gifts like little tubes of lube. The main prize was one of the newest in the range of vibrators. And guess who won it?! Jaxxon blushed purple when Anna read aloud the product details of this touch sensitive vibrator that could even be used hands-free, repeatedly insisting Connor was going to love it.

With all this craziness in mind, Jaxxon had to give full credit to Nina for having her mother present. Even more credit for having her little old Nan there – who won a tube of lube.

And when the party organiser started passing around the newest vibrators and butt plugs…well Nina’s poor little Nan didn’t know where to look. Nina’s mum was tanked up on as much Champagne as Anna so she had completely lost her inhibitions and even tried to put one of the vibrators into her mouth. Nan shook her head and tutted in disapproval but it only made Mum worse – she tried to cuff the poor woman.

“I want Nina’s mum to be my mum,” slurred Anna as she slouched in the chair next to Jaxxon while they were having refreshments in the dining room. “My mum’s all prissy and uptight. What was your mum like?”

“I don’t really know because she was always doped up so I never saw the real her; just a dozy, often comatose, melodramatic addict. She was funny though.”

“I think
you’re
funny and I am going to miss you
so
much.” She threw her arm around Jaxxon’s shoulders and gave her a little squeeze before dropping her arm again. “You will phone me and stuff, won’t you?”

The doubt in Anna’s voice made Jaxxon remember that day that Leah was leaving. Jaxxon gripped Anna by the chin. “I promise I’ll phone, text and e-mail as much as I can, alright?”

“You never promise anything unless you mean it.”

“Well there you go then. You can rest your mind now.”

“Will you miss me?”

“Of course I will.” She wasn’t just saying that either, she honestly would.

“You won’t miss me more than you’ll miss Connor though. Don’t worry, I don’t mind. You’re bound to miss the bloke you love like crazy.”

Jaxxon turned to her sharply, forgetting that Anna had been leaning her head lightly on Jaxxon’s shoulder – the poor girl practically fell in Jaxxon’s lap. She pulled her upright. “I don’t love Connor.”

An ugly snort erupted from Anna. “Oh please don’t join him in The Land of Denial.”

“I’m not saying I won’t miss him a bit or that I don’t care about him but I don’t
love
him.”

“Are you sure about that? Think about it: why else would you have tolerated his crap? Why else would you have been glad to see him when he turned up in France? Why else would you be staying with him until you leave for the tour? And you’ve never kicked him in the bollocks – that should speak volumes to you.”

More words of denial gathered on Jaxxon’s tongue, but they never came out of her mouth. The truth hit her so hard she felt as though she had been poleaxed. Anna was right. She loved the soft twat. Even worse, she always had. Although inside she was panicking, her body was shock still.

“I wish you could have fallen for someone who wasn’t demented.”

“I wish I hadn’t fallen at all.”

“You don’t know how to face him now, do you,” Anna surmised. When Jaxxon didn’t deny it she sighed. “Well there’s no real getting around that. He’s got your stuff and your dog at his apartment for one thing. And he won’t accept you suddenly ending things without a reason.”

Why does she have to be right?
Oddly enough, the one thing that would make him let go of her without a fight would be the truth. If he knew she loved him he’d run a mile.

“Want my advice? I actually don’t care if you don’t, here it is: have at least just tonight with him, go play with your new toys and make it one to remember and then you can stay in my place ’til Monday.”

“I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I can look him in the eye now that I know this. It really doesn’t help that I know he doesn’t feel the same.”

Anna gave her a sly smile. “I know how to make sure you
can
face him. It’s really a very simple tried-and-tested technique. I’ve done it myself millions of times.”

“What?”

“Get smashed.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

‘
Give me ten minutes
’ she had said when she flitted off all carefree into the bedroom twenty minutes ago. Connor was still sat, waiting. He wondered if he should go and check on her; Jaxx wasn’t a big Champagne drinker yet for some reason she had gulped down the stuff tonight. At least she wasn’t talking slurry or stumbling everywhere like Anna.

He rose and paced out of the room then stopped abruptly and shook his head. Oh who was he kidding! The reason he wanted to check on her was because he couldn’t wait much longer to be inside her. Needing a distraction, he went into the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer. He leant back against the counter, guzzling his drink as he strived to ignore the erotic images that had been dancing around his head all day. She should never have said the word ‘dildo’; he hadn’t been able to get the thought of fucking her with one out of his mind. The wicked little witch hadn’t even let him peek in that goody bag. No, she’d held it against her chest like it was a life jacket and she was in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.  

“You’re looking very fierce,” said Jaxxon, leaning against the doorway. His scowl of sexual frustration was hilarious. She hadn’t been purposely making him wait; she’d needed time to quickly pack her stuff so that she wouldn’t have to do it in the morning. The last thing she wanted when she told him she was going was for her to then have to stick around while she packed. Then she’d slipped into her brand new little nightie.

His mouth went dry at the sight of her in that thin, white thing that was all lace and silk. It clung to her while giving him the most fantastic view of her incredible breasts. Jesus, it was shorter than mid-thigh. All he would have to do was raise it a few inches and there would be another fantastic view. “Come here.” Wearing a cheeky smile, she shook her head. “I’ve waited long enough. Come here. Now.” As she strolled to him with that feline grace of hers he appraised her repeatedly from head to toe, riveted by the vision of her.
Mine
.

She pressed her body to his and grinded against him. Then she put her mouth to his ear as she said, determined to blast his shaky control to nothing, “I’m wet just thinking about using those toys. Feel.” She took his free hand and guided it under her nightie, letting him know that she was Commando. He skimmed a finger through her slick folds and groaned. “I need you to fuck me real hard tonight, Connor. Hard. Fast. Rough. Deep.” In one swift movement he lifted and laid her on her back on the counter. This time it was his tongue that skimmed through her folds and they were both groaning.