From Rags (39 page)

“I don’t want you to move on. You’re mine, Jaxx. You always were.”

“I belong to no one.”

“Wrong.” He slipped his finger inside her and her walls gripped him and moisture coated his finger. He thrust his finger in and out at a leisurely, teasing pace. Her low moans were eating at his control. “I worked it out, Jaxx; the way I hate you being away from me, the way I can’t stomach the thought of anyone else touching you, the way sex is so different with you…” He draped himself over her and peeled up her dress. “I’d convinced myself I was just addicted to you, but you know what Jaxx?” He snapped her thong, ragged off his belt, and shoved down his pants. “The truth of it is, I love you.” Then he slammed himself home, groaning at that blissful, familiar feeling of her muscles clasping him like a vise.

She’d forgotten just how much he stretched her, forgotten how good the burning and stinging felt. The bliss of it all almost distracted her from the conversation. “You what?”

“I love you.” Thrust. “You’re mine.” Thrust. “And you’re not leaving me ever again.” Thrust. “I really am
so
sick and tired of trying to live without you.” THRUST. He then raked a hand in her hair, brought her face to his and began roughly pounding into her as he ravaged those sensual lips. His longing for her, everything he felt for her, spilled out of him in a furious, manic pace that was punctuating everything he’d said. “I’ve missed this.”

“Oh my God,” she moaned into his mouth. She couldn’t keep quiet: she was moaning, groaning, whimpering, and coming dangerously close to crying with the perfection of it all. She probably should have been doubtful about a bloke suddenly claiming that he loved her, but she knew Connor well enough to know that if there was one thing he would never lie to her about, it was that. And the knowledge that he loved her just made this all the more amazing. Every ruthless thrust was a stab of pure bliss. She was burning from the outside out, heading closer and closer to her orgasm.

Her noises were killing Connor. He wouldn’t last much longer, not when he’d been starved of her for so long. He slid a hand beneath her and palmed her breast before sliding it down to her clit. He teased and circled it with his finger and she sobbed into his mouth. “That’s it, babe, isn’t it? That’s what you like. Tell me you love me. Tell me, Jaxx, I need to hear it.”

“I love you,” she rasped.

“Tell me again.”

“I love you.” Feeling her climax closing in on her, she cried, “Connor, I’m going to come.”

He roughened his pace and pounded harder. “Scream my name for me, babe. Now.”

He pinched her clit and Jaxxon was gone; a violent climax like nothing she’d ever known before crashed into her and rippled through her reverberating, frenzied body.

The combination of her walls closing in on him and his name escaping her lips in a scream had his dick practically detonating: his come fiercely jetted out of him. “
Fuck
.”
It wouldn’t stop, his cock seemed to just keep pulsing inside her, filling her with every last drop he had. Then, totally and completely sated, he collapsed beside her and nuzzled his face in her hair.

When he could finally form a sentence again, he murmured, “I’m sorry I took so long to sort my head out.”

“Mm,” was all she managed in response. She heard him chuckle and then there was a lot of fidgeting and bouncing of the mattress. Then her arms were free and next her legs. She still hadn’t when he joined her on the bed, not even to retract her arms; she was utterly spent and had no real intention of moving just yet. Connor snuggled against her side and played with her hand, kissing it and fiddling with her fingers.

“I knew it would fit.”

She frowned. “Mm?”

“It fits.”

Lazily opening one eye, she gazed at her hand which he was still fiddling with…and the white-gold diamond ring that now surrounded her third finger. Instantly both her eyes were wide open. “Connor.” She swallowed hard. “What’re you doing?”

Connor’s lips twitched in amusement at the way she spoke to him in a calming tone like he was an insane person who might need to be talked down from a frenzied state. “I picked white gold because I knew you liked it better than yellow. I wanted to get you a big, bulky diamond but I knew you’d never wear it. But no chance was I going to get anything as understated as you would have chosen, so I’d say that’s a good compromise.”

What the hell was the mental bugger doing? “Um, Connor -”

“I wanted to ask you while I was in my favourite place.” He slipped a finger inside her, indicating what he meant. “But I figured that if I did that you’d think I’d only asked you because I got carried away while we were shagging.” He brushed his lips against hers. “I admit I do get carried away when I’m inside you.”

“If this is some sort of gesture -” 

“No, no gesture. I’m 100% serious.”

“But you just told me about why you never wanted any of this.”

“I also told you I’ve been a blind prick.” He maneuvered her so she was fitted against him; face to face, chest to chest. “I love you, Jaxx,” – kiss – “and I want to marry you” – kiss – “and I want my kids to grow right here.” He stroked her stomach gently. “And if you say no I’ll put the cuffs back on and keep them on ’til I can get you to change your mind.” He wasn’t kidding.

“I didn’t end this because I wanted you to ask me to marry you. All I wanted was to know that it could
happen one day.”

“Good. We’re ahead of schedule then.”

She was so tempted to relax into him and the moment, but she couldn’t quite get her head around his complete change of intentions for the future from permanent bachelor to committed husband and dad. “I don’t want you to force yourself to do this and then end up changing your mind later.”

“If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t ask you, would I?”

“Technically you haven’t asked at all.”

Realising she was right, he smiled. “Marry me, Jaxx.” Not that she really had a choice. He wasn’t living without her, he couldn’t.

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

“Positive. The question is: Is it what you
want as well?” As the seconds dragged on and she remained silent he was about ready to panic, but then her lips curled into a cute, little smile that plucked at his heart.

“Yes you dick,” she whispered. Without missing a beat his lips landed on hers and he took her mouth in a soul-wrenching kiss. In record time both their clothes were off and he was inside her again. It had started off slow and sensual but the fact was they just weren’t ‘slow’ people. Before long he was hammering into her at his usual feverish pace that they both revelled in and then she was screaming his name while he was growling hers.

They were still panting and shuddering with the aftershocks when her mobile began ringing. As she was comfy sprawled over Connor with him still inside her she didn’t bother getting it. But then it rang again. And again. Huffing she reached over the bed to where he had dumped her bag and dug out the still chiming phone. It was Ollie. “Hello.”

“Jaxxon, there’s, er, someone here who says you know them and wants to, er, see you.”

“Who?” Her mouth dropped open wide at his answer. She sat up abruptly. “Where?”

“In the reception area, but if you want to do this and you want some privacy we can meet you in my room.”

“Alright. I’ll be five minutes.”

“What is it?” asked Connor the second she finished the call. She didn’t shout her answer until she was in the bathroom. He swore at the news and jumped up. As she’d locked the door, he stood outside it. “Why wasn’t your response ‘fuck off’?”

Little more than twenty seconds later she was back in the bedroom redressing with Connor following her about the room like a lost kitten. “What happened to my shoes?”

“Jaxx, you don’t have to do this,” he said as he quickly threw on his own clothes.

“Stop panicking.”

“I don’t want you upset.”

“Who says I’ll be upset?”

“Her pastime was upsetting you.”

“I’ll be fine.” Finding her shoes under the bed, she slipped them on. Now fully dressed – bar her thong which Connor had destroyed – she made her way to the door.

“Babe, you don’t owe her this,” he said as followed her out of the suite toward the elevator. “She left you -”

“So did you,” she said softly and non-judgementally. “And I’ve just said I’ll marry you. If I can do that, then I can give my sister two minutes of my time, can’t I?”

He supposed that was a fair comment. He
hated
that it was a fair comment. He was still tormenting himself over leaving her. But this was Leah
they were talking about; the one who had spent years picking at Jaxx’s self-esteem until she didn’t even see herself as the beautiful person she was, inside or out. What’s more, she was the one who had let Jaxx think for the past eight years that he’d spent their time in foster care shagging Leah, that he’d loved Leah. What he knew now was that even back then he’d loved Jaxx. It still ticked him off knowing that she’d spent all that time they’d been apart angry with him and believing that of him. And it was all Leah’s fault.

He wasn’t exactly surprised that she’d made a reappearance now that Jaxx was a celeb. Nor was he all that surprised that she hadn’t come earlier. She had probably spent the past few months resenting Jaxx and being bitter as hell. Obviously she had now calmed down and was ready to use emotional blackmail or some other technique to get herself money or something. And he absolutely despised the thought of Jaxx being manipulated or used. He just wanted to sweep her up and take her back to his suite. As they reached the door to Ollie’s suite he sighed. “If it was the other way around, she’d
tell you
to sling your hook. You know that, right?”

“Connor, calm down before you hyperventilate. I’ll be fine, I’m not fourteen anymore.”

He combed his hands into her hair. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure. Now move.” It was only seconds after she knocked on the door that Ollie opened up, looking as awkward as he’d sounded on the phone.

“Er, why don’t you go in. Me and McKenzie will wait out here.”

Connor huffed. “Oh no, I’m going in with -”

“No, you’re not.” And with that, Jaxxon swung the door shut. Taking calming, steady breaths, she strolled leisurely through the suite. She found Leah in the small kitchenette, washing out a coffee mug. She looked
so
different. It shouldn’t have been such a shock considering it had been years but the transformation was pretty dramatic. Her long, straight blonde hair had faded to a mousey shade and was just above shoulder-length. She’d put a little weight on and actually had boobs. Jaxxon never thought she’d ever see Leah look smart, but she did in that black pencil skirt and lavender blouse. Not like a business woman, but like…a housewife. Jaxxon’s flicked a glance at Leah’s left hand and there was both an engagement and wedding ring. Whatever she’d expected, it hadn’t been this.

“Oh my God,” said Leah as she turned. Usually when you saw a celeb up close without the abundance of make-up or camera tricks to hide the blemishes they weren’t as stunning. But Jaxxon was even more-so. She could see the apprehension and hesitation in Jaxxon’s eyes and it broke her heart. Leah knew it was only what she deserved though. “Hi.”

“Alright,” Jaxxon greeted quietly. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, actually. You?”

Jaxxon nodded. “Yeah, great.”

“You look really well.”

“What are doing in Australia?”

“I live here. Me and my husband migrated here a few years ago. I couldn’t believe it when I first saw you in a magazine. My baby sister.”

If there was one thing that Leah had never referred to Jaxxon as before, it was that. ‘My sister’, yeah. But the affectionate ‘my baby sister’, never. “What do you want, Leah?”

A fond smile crept up onto her face. “Still blunt as anything. I think you were born blunt.” She drew in a long breath and exhaled slowly. “I’m not here to ask you for anything, but I don’t blame you for thinking I might be. Actually, I want to show you something.” She dug into her pocket where she’d placed the item she was anxious to show Jaxxon.

Still apprehensive, Jaxxon took what was a photograph from Leah’s outstretched hand and looked at it. Whoa.

“He’s the image of you. He’s got my nose and Alan’s eyes. Alan’s his dad, my husband. But the rest – those chocolate curls, the olive skin…it’s just you.”

She was right. This little toddler looked exactly as Jaxxon did when she was that young.

“His name’s Riley. He’s adorable but he’s going through the terrible twos at the minute so he’s driving me up the wall. You know, he’s got so many of your expressions. He really
looks like you when he’s upset. And it makes me think of all the times I put that look on your face.” Tears welled up then. “Jaxxon, I’m here to say sorry.”

Instantly Jaxxon’s head snapped up. This was unexpected to say the least, and she couldn’t help but feel suspicious. Her instincts told her she didn’t need to be, but still she was a little.

“I know you probably couldn’t give a damn. But I am. I was messed up over what mum did. I know that’s no excuse – she was your mum too and you didn’t let it turn you into a bitter cow. But I was nowhere near as strong as you and, I’ll admit, I was jealous of you for that. And for how people seemed to automatically like you. It always amazed and frustrated me that you could have been the most popular girl in school but you didn’t want any of that whereas me…I wanted it so badly. I needed to feel
liked
, I can’t explain why. I envied you so much and I hated myself so much and…well I was a bitch. You might not believe it, but I hate myself for it, Jaxxon. I really do. Because I did and do love you. Every time I look at my son I think of you and how I treated you…” She trailed off as the tears finally flowed over.

Words failed Jaxxon. First Connor’s appearance followed by the ‘I love you’ and then the proposal. Now this. Hearing her sister had come here had been surprising enough.

“What I said about Connor…Again I was jealous. He never showed any interest in me but you he’d have done anything for. I’m glad that you two got together.” She gestured to the beautiful ring on the hand that was holding the photo. “I take it he gave you that.”