From That Moment (12 page)

Lia’s face was scrunched in concern. “Maybe we should ask the nurses for help? You seem to be upsetting her more…”

Alex felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. Why did Lia never trust her to manage things on her own? Yes, she had messed up the past few years. Her unexpected pregnancy could be seen as the ultimate screw up by her perfect as her older sister, but why couldn’t Lia give her a chance?

“I’m fine.” She gave Lia a steely-eyed look. “Why don’t you go home and rest. You must be tired.” 

Lia’s green eyes teared over. “Is that what you want?” 

“Right now, yes. I need to figure out Sage, I’m her mom.”

Lia turned her head to wipe her eyes. “Okay.” 

She retreated away from Alex and walked towards the exit. Her shoulders were slumped.
She needs to let me figure this out. She can’t try to fix this for me.

Sage was screaming even louder. “Shhhhh,” Alex tried to shush her, like the baby books had said. Nothing. Sage kept on screaming.
Maybe I should swaddle her again? Maybe it’s not tight enough?

Alex turned and went back into her room. Her roommate’s husband had brought her a tray of sushi. Their baby was peacefully asleep in the plastic cot next to her bed. The other mom took a bite of salmon sashimi from the chopsticks in her husband’s hand. “Mmmm.” He carefully fed her each piece of sashimi, watching her enjoy each bite. “You did great today,” he said, his eyes loving and proud. The roommate smiled sweetly. “I can’t believe our baby is here.” The couple exchanged a look only meant for two. 

When Alex got to her bed, the sound of screaming Sage interrupted their moment. They exchanged a quick look, a look that was obviously saying ‘Where is her husband?’. The dad came over and said, “Hey, I’m Mike, this is Gigi. Are you okay? Can we get a nurse for you?”

Alex bristled. Didn’t anyone think she could manage on her own? The cries of her daughter were even more intense. “I’m okay. I think she’s hungry.” She looked over to their baby, and said, “Is your baby crying?” Both parents ran over to check on their baby.

Good, peace now.
Alex sat down on her bed, still holding her screaming bundle.
Okay, let me see.
She threw on her nursing cover, hanging on the bed rail.
Come on little baby, eat.
She tried to get Sage to find her breast. After adjusting her wobbly head a few times, she finally helped her daughter find the nipple.
There
. Sage latched on, and stopped crying. Alex lay back and took in a deep breath. Sage sucked a few more times, then pulled back her head and screamed again. 

Alex’s insides tightened again.
Oh no. Okay. Maybe she’s gassy.
She picked up her floppy daughter, careful to hold her head. Alex rubbed her back, trying to stop the crying. She switched shoulders and Sage kept crying.
Maybe her diaper?
She put Sage down on the bed and undressed her. She was a little wet.
Maybe that’s it
. Alex changed her, careful not to touch the umbilical cord stump. 

The crying subsided, replaced by little sniffles. Sage seemed happier, for the moment. Alex felt herself relax. She hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to anticipate a newborn’s needs. 

*************

“You should go in to see her,” said Gianna. Paulo Campana wiped his flour-covered hands on his green apron and looked into Gianna’s staring eyes. “But, I don’t want to impose…”

Gianna walked over, until she was standing right next to him. “Paulo, I think she would appreciate it.”

Paulo felt butterflies in his stomach. His body felt warm and sweat was beading up around his hairline. “Okay.”

He set aside the pasta dough he had been preparing and washed his hands and face in the large restaurant kitchen. He took his job as Gianna’s cook very seriously. There weren’t many things that could tear him from his work.

“She’s a bit moody, don’t take it personally.” Gianna warned him.

“Oh.” 

“You’ll be fine. We want her to feel supported by her family and friends.”

“I’m not really family, though.” Paulo hesitated. 

“You’re like my son,” Gianna said. “So I expect you to go make an appearance.”

Paulo sighed. He wasn’t going to fight Gianna on this. He was too grateful to her. She had been the first person who had believed in him, and had hired him literally off the street to work for her. Gianna could have just ignored him, sitting on the street corner. She later told him that something about him seemed earnest and worth a chance.

“I’ll be happy to see your niece, Gianna.”

Paulo knew that Alex hated him, and going to visit her at the hospital wasn’t going to change that.
Oh well.
He braced himself for her cold and disapproving looks. He threw on a blue hoodie to cover his tattoo. He checked himself in the mirror and combed down his dark blonde hair. Almost respectable. Except for the diamond stud in his left ear. He couldn’t remove that though. That had been the last gift his mom had given him, before she had been taken to prison. 

Paulo headed out into the warm Spring day and walked over to the hospital. Last time he had spoken to Alex, she had given him a dirty look. He had offered to help her carry some groceries up to Gianna’s apartment. “I can do it just fine,” she had said to him, her green eyes flashing with anger. She had turned her head, flicking her shiny red hair over her face.

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Meant To Be
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