From The Ashes (The Knights of Mayhem Book 3) (11 page)

“Really?”  She fights the smile trying to break through, knowing it would be wrong for it to.

“Yeah, really.  He’s going to hold off telling the others ‘til we can see how Markus is going to react.”

“Is it not best to act first?”  I hold my head back, looking at her. “What? I listened when you and the boys talked about cases.”

“Sometimes yes, but in this particular situation, it’s best to wait because we have no idea where he is.”  I watch a shadow of fear ghost across her face. “Don’t worry. He’ll not get close to you, regardless of how the others feel about you. They’re going to protect you.”

“Because of you?”

“Yeah, because of me, and the fact we swore an oath.  They may be placing their anger in the wrong place but they aren’t bad people, Hollis.”

“I know they’re not, but what if at the moment I need them they choose to look the other way?”  She steps back, wringing her hands.  She has a valid point.

“Some people would turn a blind eye and let you get what they think you deserve, but that’s not us. We’re not programmed that way.  Now, you said something about food?”

Hollis

I buzz around the kitchen as Roman watches me, making me a bit nervous. After the news that Cowboy isn’t hell-bent on my demise for killing the mother of his child, I feel like I’m floating on air. 

I make sandwiches and chips with beer on the side. Setting the plates and drinks down, I sit across from him with a smile.  “Looks great, beautiful, but not as good as it did when you were making it.  Thank you.”

“For the food or for Megan?”  I scoop up my creation I’d made from the groceries he’d brought back.

“For coming back to me,”  he says as he laces his fingers together on the table in front of him.  I look at him, stunned at his reply. He immediately looks like he regrets letting those words slip out, so he lifts his sandwich in the air.  “This is fantastic. I guess you did learn how to cook.”  His smile is contagious and I feel mine mirror his.

“It’s just a sandwich, I can’t wait to show you my severe culinary skills in that kitchen of yours, again.”  He stops chewing at my statement.  “What?”

“I want this, but I don’t think we should just move in together.”  My heart sinks. Cowboy has filled his head with doubt about me and my intentions. 

“But we kinda already are, Roman … living together.”  I look at him confused.

“I meant the same room.” 

“Sure you did.  He warned you away from me, told you to watch your ass.”  I slam my sandwich down.  I want to stomp out, but unfortunately, I have nowhere to go.  And as much as I hate to admit it, my whole existence depends on this man and the opinions of his friends.

“He did, only because he’s my brother and is concerned.”

“Are you concerned?”  He looks at me puzzled.  “About me?”

“No, but I am concerned about the trouble Megan’s death is going to cause, not just for us, but for the rest of the group.  So is he. I think his concerns are valid.”

“But you don’t think the concerns he has about me are valid?”  He’s talking in circles and I’m finding it hard to keep up.

“No, if I did, you’d still be at that house, waiting for the wrath of Markus.”  His blue eyes are steel and they are set on me, making a painfully truthful shiver run down my spine.

“I see.”  I look away from his intense gaze, unable to hold it anymore.

“You see what?  You think I don’t care what happens to you?  I do, but I have to also make sure that others don’t get hurt this time too.  I can’t have tunnel vision right now. I have to see the big picture.”  He acts like he wants to say more but stops, casting his eyes down at the rest of his sandwich. 

“You can use me.”  I blurt out before I can stop it.

He slams his sandwich down, making the plate jump.  “What the hell, Hollis? I’ve never used you, and I’m not gonna start now.”

I snicker at his misinterpretation of my statement.  “No, I meant for bait. You can use me to draw Markus out.  I know he will, if he isn’t already, looking for me. I’m sure he also knows you’re the first person I would run to, especially with Caden.”

“Fuck no. I don’t care what you’ve done and what you feel you need to make up for.  It ain’t fuckin’ happening.”  He stands, grabbing up his plate and heads for the sink.

I stand. “Roman, just listen to me. I won’t be in any danger.”

“You’re damn straight you won’t because you’re not going to do it.  Did I say it slow enough for it to sink in?”  He pounds his finger into his temple.

“Damn it, Roman, let me help,”  I scream at him.

“You can help by staying out of the way.”  He leans over so he’s nose to nose with me.  “Now drop it. I don’t want to hear it again.”  He storms past me, storming towards the bedroom. 

I slam the plate into the sink, shattering it into a thousand pieces.  “Arghhhhh!  Asshole!”

“I heard that,”  he casually shouts from behind the closed bathroom door.

“I meant for you to,
asshole
.”  I turn to look out the window over the sink at the beautiful lake outside.  The afternoon sun is bouncing off the ripples like gold glitter floating through the air.  Air, fresh air. I need it and I need out of this house.  I grab my hoodie from the back of the rocker and pull it over my head before stepping out onto the porch.  I take a deep breath, letting the cool air sink into my lungs.  The chill blows across my cheeks, making me shiver, so I step out into the warm sun, letting it take away some of the cold.

I hug my arms around myself, close my eyes and drift back to a time when I thought I was queen bee in Roman’s eyes.  I’ll always give myself a much deserved kick in the ass for messing it up.

I hear him come out behind me and I swear I can feel his eyes on me.  “Happy looks good on you.”

I smile, knowing that he is my happy.  “That wasn’t happy, that was me making myself a promise.”  I don’t turn to him, but I keep my face tilted up into the sun with my eyes closed.

“Oh yeah? And what promise would that be?”  His voice is like silk running over my skin.  I fight a shiver as his voice rocks me this time instead of the cold. 

I clear my throat and debate on whether or not I want to share the private moment with him.  I decide if I have someone to hold me accountable, I’ll keep it.  And who better than him?  “I promised myself if I ever win you back, I’ll make sure to make you fall in love with me every day for eternity.”

I hold my breath when he doesn’t respond.  When I hear him take the first step, then the second, I inhale so deep it feels like my lungs are going to burst.  I feel him engulf me in his arms, pulling my back into his chest.   His lips hover at my ear and his breaths ruffle my hair.  “Challenge accepted.”

Chapter Ten

Roman

She and I sit outside, letting the afternoon pass us by while we watch the sun set.  Nothing else is said between us.  When the chill gets to be more than we can bear without our jackets, I turn her in my arms.  “How about if I make you some dinner while you sit by the fire with a glass of wine?”

“That would sound like you’re trying to seduce me, Mr. Jefferys.”  She smiles up at me and I’m stunned by her beauty. I always have been, but now is different. She’s the person I knew she was.

“Oh, Ms. Keaton,”  I lean down and lightly brush her lips,  “it is seduction at its finest.”  I kiss her one more time and drop my arms. If I continue down this path of conversation, I’m going to fuck her before I get the chance to seduce or feed her. 

I take her hand, leading her back into the cabin.  “This will probably be our last night up here so let’s make the most of it until we have to return to the real world.”  I feel her hand tug out of mine. 

“What do you think will happen when we get back? 

I sigh, pulling her back into me.  “I don’t know, but let’s not think about it tonight.  Let’s focus on food, wine, and great sex—I mean conversation.”

She lets her mouth fall open in playful shock.  “Mr. Jefferys, I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I’m not that girl.”  She playfully smacks at my chest.

“Woman please. You’ve been given me blowjobs since I was eighteen.”  I nuzzle her neck, hoping she knows I’m playing with her, trying to lighten her mood.

She scoffs.  “Yeah, I know, but you don’t have to rub my face in it.”

I jerk my head back.  “But I sooo love rubbing you in the face with it.”

She pushes away from me with a disgusted look on her face.  “You’re gross, Roman.”

“Went a little too far, huh? Okay, sorry for the comment.  Come on. Let me get you tipsy.”  I kiss the top of her head as we cross the threshold, back into the cabin.

I point to the rocker I have settled in front of the roaring fire I’d built before I joined her outside.  “Sit.”

“Yes sir.”  She drags my hoodie over her head, giving her hair that fresh fucked look.  I watch her ass walk away from me and have to shift my stance.  “So, what are you cooking for me this evening?”  She smiles as she settles down into the chair.

She catches me staring after her and all I can do is smile because I’m not a damn bit sorry I got caught.  “I’m going to cook you salmon.”  I drag a medium size pink filet out of the new fridge Avery installed.  “And steam you some asparagus.”  I hold up the hardy green stalks for her to see.  “But before I do all that, I’m going to pour you some wine.”  I slap my hands together and begin the search for the bottle opener I’d bought earlier that morning. 

The fire’s crackling and she’s fallen silent. When I pop my head back up out of the bags, I catch her swipe at her cheek.  I go on like I didn’t see her crying, and hope they’re happy tears.

The popping of the cork makes her jump.  Her hand flies to her heart.  “Damn, Roman. Give a girl a little notice, would ya?”

“No, I like the shock value.”  I pour the red wine into the cheap glass I had picked up at the grocery store.  I cross the room, holding it out to her waiting hand.  “There you go.”

“Thank you, Roman, and not just for the wine.  I know what you’ve done for me in the past couple of days, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you for compromising your values and asking others to do the same.”  She looks down into the dark liquid, searching for her next words.  “But I will try.”

“That ‘to do’ list is getting longer, Hollis.”  I warn her against making promises she can’t keep.

“I know it is, and you know I’m not a person to make a promise and not keep it.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, you do now.”  She takes a slow sip of her wine, never taking her eyes off me.  “So, I’m starving. Are you gonna stand there with that dorky smile on your face, or are you going to cook for me?”  She’s smooth. Her face never wavers and her eyes never shied away from me. 

I kneel in front of her, taking her face in my hands.  “Don’t let me disappoint you.” 

She lays her hand on mine.  “That could never happen.”

Not letting go of her face, I search her eyes for some sort of deception, something to make me walk away, but the only thing I see is sincerity. 

“So, I was thinking.”

“Did it hurt?” she snickers.

“Smartass.  And no, it didn’t.  You can come to work for me.”  I begin to wash and prepare the fish and chop the bottoms off the greens.

“Work for you?  What will they have to say about it?” 

“I don’t give a shit.”  I walk over to refill her glass.  “My company, my business.  They all wanted to decompress after the last assignment, so I launched Knight’s Security.”  

“Are you testing me? I would prefer to go and get my own job, if it’s all the same to you.”

“No,”  I bite out.  There is no way in hell I’m letting her out of my sight for eight hours a day.

“No?”

“No, not until we know what Markus is going to do.”  The thought of Markus getting to her when she’s out of my sight has my teeth on edge.  “Hollis, you trust me?” 

“Always.”

That word holds a lot of weight for a man like me.  When a person you love trusts you fully and completely, it’s like a drug for us, to defend and protect.  I know I would move heaven and earth for her. 

“But can you say the same for me, Roman? Because you know it has to go both ways.” 

We study each other.  Should I return her trust? Do I have a reason to?  Has she given me a chance or does she deserve me to return the faith she’s put in me?  I know I love this woman, and she’s already told me she loves me. 

I recognize sometimes a person can make a decision on the fly,  and that’s what she’s done for me, for us, without knowing the outcome.  I’ve looked into those chocolate brown eyes.  I don’t care who you are, a person’s eyes always give them away.  I’m a firm believer in the fact she did not know Emily was Markus’s target.

She clears her throat, obviously nervous by my extended silence.  I look at her and it’s like seeing her for the first time. “I do.” 

“Well, that’s good to know.”

I go back to preparing us dinner, stealing glances of her as I work.  She watches the fire while I continue to supply her with alcohol.  The silence isn’t awkward, but makes me feel more comfortable than I have in a long time. 

I feel her come up behind me, snaking her arms around my waist.  She buries her nose in my back and the sensation of her hot breath against me is almost more than I can bear.

“Hey, baby,”  she whispers.  “It smells so good. I’m starving.”  Her words are a bit labored from her drinking.

“Ready.”  I plate the food then wipe my hands on my jeans.  I turn to her, wrap my arms around her and pull her close. 

We stand, holding each other and I wish we had more days here.  I know we have to leave tomorrow, but I want to make the seconds last as long as I can because I know it will all change when we get back to the real world.

Her growling stomach prompts me to release her. “Ready to eat?”

“God yes.”  She rubs her stomach.  “Let’s do this.”

~~~~~~

She sits back, holding her stomach.  “That was the best meal I’ve had in a very long time. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”  I hold up the second bottle of wine.  “Want some more?”

She giggles.  “I don’t need it.”

“I didn’t ask if you needed it, I asked if you wanted more.”  I shake the bottle at her teasingly.

“Sure, why not.”  I fill her glass again.  She picks it up and takes a sip, then sits the glass back down, tracing the rim with her finger.  “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing,”  I say as I look at her. She doesn’t hold the edginess of her youth, but the strong will of a woman that’s been through hell.

“Bullshit. You’ve had this pensive look on your face all night.”  Her voice slurs.

“I’ve just been thinking about how it’s gonna be when we get back.  Worrying, actually.”  She stands and walks to the fridge to get me another beer.  “Thank you.”

“Sure.  To tell you the truth, so have I.”  She turns her wine glass on the table with her index finger and thumb, studying the red liquid.  “I’m scared.”  Even though her eyes are soft, her body is rigid. 

“Don’t be. I’ll take care of you.”  I reach across the table for her hand.  “I promise.”

“I know you will, I’m just scared for you, Roman.  You’re gonna have to choose where your loyalties lie, and I’ll understand when you go the other way.”

“I’m not going go the other way.”

“You say that now, but I’ll understand when you do. But until then, I’m gonna love you tonight like I never left you.”

I stand and she does the same, meeting me halfway.  I wrap her in my arms, tucking her small frame to me, not ever wanting to let go.  “How about you just love me like you aren’t gonna leave me?”

“I can do that too.”  She takes my hand, leading me into the darkness and chill of the bedroom. The moonlight is shining through the small window and the ghostly white shadows dance across the worn floor to an unheard rhythm. 

She drops my hand to take the hem of her shirt in her hand, peeling it off over her head as she turns in a circle.  I move to rub her arms and feel goosebumps. “Shit, babe. You’re gonna freeze to death in here. Let me get the fire started.”  I start for the small fireplace but she stops me, taking my hand again.

“No, you’ll keep me warm enough.”  I fully turn to her so she can run her fingers along the hem of my shirt, pushing it up as she goes.  Her hands move torturously up my stomach and chest. 

I close my eyes, letting the feel of her touching me soak into my bones.  She’s soft and gentle, slowly drawing out the exquisite pain from me with every stroke of her hand.

“Hollis?” 

“Shh, don’t talk, just feel,”  she whispers as she slowly removes my shirt.  Her hands feel their way up my heated skin, then down my bare arms, taking my hands and lifting them to her waist.  She leads them around ‘til they reach her bra strap.  “You see the game I’m playing?”

I snap the clasp loose, freeing her and watch as her bra falls away from her perfect breasts.  I trace the underside of one with my index finger, watching the nipple stiffen. “I do.”  I take her by the ass, hoisting her up so she can wrap her legs around me.  “And two can play.”  I lay her down on the bed and begin to make slow work of her jeans.  I peel away the material, revealing my prize for winning the game.  She isn’t wearing panties and I make a mental note to ask her in the morning about her clothing situation.   

At the moment, I think her commando situation is a fucking turn on.  I peel her tight jeans down her legs, jerking them off her feet and throwing them through the air behind me.

I run my hands down her legs, feeling her skin prickle under my touch.  She arches her back into me as my lips contact her lower belly, kissing the soft skin.  “How did I lose control of this situation?” she asks breathlessly as her fingers dig into my hair.

“Did you ever really have control, Hollis?”  I lean in and take a budded nipple into my mouth, sucking it up into my teeth.  I bite it softly then release it, watching as her heavy breast bounces back into place.  “Damn, I love the way you look naked.” 

She raises up to her knees, taking my mouth. I let her explore me with her sweet tasting tongue.  Her hands release my hair and once again travel down my body.  “Have I told you how fucking hot you are naked?” she asks, reaching for the button of my jeans, ripping it loose.  “I need you now, Roman.”

I still her hands.  “Shh baby, let me.”  I gently push her back on the bed.  Standing over her, I take in her beauty; every curve, every scar, every perfect imperfection that makes up the canvas of her life.  She lies naked before me and all I can think about is burying myself inside of her.  She reaches for, me begging for me to take her.

“Roman?”  I step back, leaving her lying alone to get rid of my jeans.  Kicking them off, I climb up the bed with her, covering her body with mine.  “Enough of this shit. I’m taking you.”

“Okay.” 

“I mean it, Hollis. No more shit, lies, secrets, nothing.  I have to have you. There is no other way for me but you.  Either you agree now,”  I hover the head of my cock at her opening as I demand her loyalty,  “or this is over. And you might not be breathing on the other end.”

“Nothing this time but you and me, I swear.”

I lean into her, taking her lips as I push inside.  Her neck cranes as I settle between her thighs.  “You had best be certain about your promises, Hollis.”

“I am … oh god,”  her voice wavers as I lay my full weight on her, successfully covering her body with mine. I can feel her head shaking, accepting my terms against my lips at her temple.

“You good?”  I ask before I continue to move.

“Yes,”  she sighs, bucking her hips up into me.  “I need for you to move now.”

I begin to move, grinding into her. I pull back, letting the cool air flow between us.  She gasps.  “Roman,”  her voice is husky, deep with wanting and I hold what she wants.