Front & Center (Book 2 of the Back-Up Series) (29 page)

“Son, this isn’t your fault.”

Relief floods my insides. I needed to hear him say it as well. I need my dad to support me now more than he ever has.

“Dad, I still don’t know if it was my baby.”

“Do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Son, you’ve been rejecting the notion that this was your child all along. Your mother and I laid the guilt on you pretty heavy, and I am so sorry we did that. You’ve been through some heavy emotional situations. It’s ok, to not want to know. It’s ok, if your closure is dependent on not knowing.”

“I feel lost.
Knowing the baby was mine won’t change the fact I never wanted that child. It will only add to the tremendous amount of guilt I’ve already been carrying.”

“I understand.”

“If I did want to know, how would I be able to get that information? I have no legal ties to her or the baby.”

“We have enough evidence to court order a paternity test on the fetus. But I’d have to act on it immediately.”

“I want to talk to Leila about it.”

“Go ahead. Call me back with your decision.”

“Dad, I’m sorry.”

“
I know, Son. It’s over. Now, I want you to worry about yourself and your fiancé. We love you.” When he hangs up, I’m still swimming in guilt. I’m not sure I will ever lose the feeling. At the moment, it’s laying heavily on my chest. I’ll need to find a way to work through this somehow.

I take a deep breath and walk out to join everyone up front. Leila and the guys are all sitting around wordlessly. My guess is she told them and they have no idea what to say.

When Leila sees me, she smiles warmly. I slide in beside her and take her hand.

“You ok
?” Hunter is the first to ask.

I give him a non-committal shrug in response.

“Did you talk to your dad?”

“Yeah, he said
we could court order a paternity test, but I don’t know if I want to know.”

“You want my opinion?” Hunter looks from Leila to me.

After we nod, he adds, “Nothing good can come from knowing it was your baby. If she were to find out and share the results then so be it, but to chase them when there isn’t a reason to know? That news is only going to torment you, man.”

T
here’s one person I care about. I turn to Leila and ask, “What do you think I should do?”

She looks down,
avoiding eye contact with me.

“Lei, I want to know your opinion. I need to know.”

She closes her eyes before she responds quietly, “I don’t want to know.”

I immediately sigh with relief.

“I’m sorry, Jack. It might be really selfish of me, but I want to believe she never had a part of you. I need to believe that. It may be a false sense of security, or just game playing, but I’d rather not have a definitive answer.”

A single tear escapes.
The look on her face breaks my heart. I pull her into my arms as she sobs into my chest. “Jack, I’m sorry and if you need to know, I’ll understand.”

“Ssh, babe. Please don’t cry. Please.” The guys all quietly leave us alone. Her sobs increase as I hold her and rock her in my arms.

“Baby, look at me.”

She lifts her head and searches my eyes. I gently wipe away her tears and bend to kiss her lips. “Leila,
this is over. No more. I’m done. I’m done hurting you. You are more important to me than anything. I know I am a bastard for saying this, but I never wanted to know anyway.”

“We’re awful.”

“No, we’re not. We’re honest.”

She leans against me while I stroke her hair.
Her admission is exactly what I needed. The guilt slowly dissipates from her words. I’m tired of the toxic cloud that Jessa purposely suspended over us. I’m tired of feeling like I’m the asshole for not wanting that baby and for not wanting her in my life. I’m tired of carrying enough fucking guilt to fill a Catholic church. For the first time in weeks, I feel at peace.

“What’s new with you?”

Evan waits a few seconds before responding. “Nothing.”

“Hmm. Absolutely nothing? Boring life you lead, Mr. Miller.” I happen to know he finally said the L-word to Lizzy. She texted me with much enthusiasm…there were five exclamation points attached. “How are things with you and Liz?”

“
Good.”

“Evan!”

“What?”

“You’re such a guy. Tell me.”

“You’re a pain in my ass. What are you fishing for?”

“You know and I want you to say it.”

“I love her, ok? Is that what you want to hear?”

“Yes. Was that so hard?”

“Yes.”

“You’re so annoying.
I’m so happy for my big brother.”

“Thanks. She’s so great. I love everything about her. I thank God I found her.”

“She’s lucky to have you too.”

“I’ve been spending a lot of time at her place. It als
o helps me feel sane. I know Lee has detail on her, but still.”

“I get it.
So, when’s the wedding?”

“Ha ha.
Let’s get through yours first.”

“So what else is happening out there?
I spoke to Dad. He seems happy.”

“Yeah, Mom too. They
have been very discreet. You would never know they were doing it.”

“Ugh. Evan.”

“It’s true. Not even a hand being held or a peck on the cheek in public.”

“Whatever works for them, a
s long as they’re happy.”

“
I guess. Did you speak to Lori about Miami?”

“Briefly. She’s
excited.”

He pauses for a few seconds before saying,
“I am telling you this because I know you hate surprises.”

“Oh
, God. What?”

“Everyone is coming.”

“I know. You guys and Lor.”

“No…everyone. Dad, Mom, Alisa
, Patti, Mandi, Liz, her parents…everyone. Do not tell anyone I told you.”

“
Whose idea was this?”

“
Jack…and Lori. She wants a huge debut for Cliffhangers and has been relentless. She found out that Lizzy and the Lairs were coming. That was all she needed to make it a huge party.”

“So let me get this straight, everyone is coming?”

“What is wrong with you?” Evan asks impatiently. “Yes! We are all flying in the day before your show, and we are staying until the festival is over.”

“I heard you. I just can’t believe you are all coming.
How did she manage this?”

“
We are talking about Lori.”

“
True. Speaking of, what’s going on with her and Matt?”

“It’s so ridiculous. Total role reversal. He is sniffing her ass like a
lovesick bloodhound. We can’t figure it out.”

“How is she treating him?”

“Like an annoying teenager. He dedicated a song the other night, to the sexy redhead who stole his heart.”

“Oh my God!”

“It was hilarious. Logan thinks Matt has been abducted by aliens.”

I start giggling uncontrollably. Jack walks into
the bedroom and smiles. “What’s so funny?”

“I’m on with Ev. He’s filling me in on Matt and Lori.” He kisses me and lies next to me. “Ok, so what else has the jackass done?”

“He keeps trying to get her to agree to dinner. She said she was seeing someone and wasn’t interested.”

“She said that? Trey?”

“I was going to ask you that.”

Jack proceeds to run his hand under my t-shirt, inching it up towards my breast. I swat him away and he gives me an irritated look. “I know t
hat they’ve been talking on the phone.”

“And then some.” Jack mumbles. He tries again, this time
placing his hand directly on my breast.

“She told
Alisa, who told Logan, who told Matt that she’s not interested in a relationship and having fun is all she cares about right now.”

“Reverse
psychology. I’m so on to her.”

“You think she’s acting like she isn’t interested?”

“Hell yes!” Jack lifts my shirt and kisses the swell of my breast. “Ev, I have to go.”

Jack
smiles against my breast and takes my admission to Evan as his green light.

“Ok. I’ll talk to you in a few.”

I turn towards Jack while he is manhandling my breast. “Really? We have like five minutes before we pull into New Orleans. You can’t wait until we check in?”

“
It’s tradition.”

“Huh?”

“Haven’t you noticed, since leaving Albuquerque, we’ve been ‘doing it’ as we pull in to each stop?”

“We have?”

“Yes. Amarillo, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Little Rock and Jackson. It’s become a goal of mine.”

“Is that why you woke me up in the middle of the night in Little Rock?”

“Yes. Impressive, right?”

“I am impressed. I had no idea it was a pattern.”

“Yep. And now, we don’t have much time.” He attaches his lips to mine while removing my shorts. “I was going to prep you a bit, but we may have to get right to it.” He moves his hand to stroke me and adds, “Doesn’t seem to be a problem, though.”

“Is it ever?”

He removes his jeans and briefs and aligns himself over me.

“Coincidentally, I’m ready too.” He
whispers against my lips while he pins me with his smoky eyes. “I love you, Mrs. Lair.”

“I love you
, Mr. Lair.”

In true Jack fashion, he slides into me torturously slow, one perfect inch at a time. By the
time he fills me completely, I am anxious to increase our rhythm. He bends to kiss my lips, while hitching my one leg higher to get in deeper.

I
wrap my hands around his neck to give me something to hold on to. Once I’ve anchored myself, I increase the movement in my hips. “Faster.” I plead, as he continues his measured, penetrating thrusts.

When I move my hands to his ass to encourage him, he smiles at me, the bastard.

“Jack.”

His response is to move his hand behind my knee and push my leg even higher.

“Oh God. More, don’t stop.” I plead in a hoarse whisper.

H
e complies, driving into me over and over. He traces my panting lips with his tongue and effectively does me in. The tremors that start to radiate through my body are bordering on being painful. My fingers grip him as I lose myself to my orgasm. I can’t remember if Jack came with me or after me. I was completely preoccupied. When I come to, Jack presses his forehead to mine.

“That was
a fuck-tastic quickie.” He glances out the window behind my head. “And we are just pulling in.”

“Good job, cowboy.”

“Thanks. You barely made any noise this time. You’re getting better at muffling your coming sounds.”

“
Practice makes perfect.”

“Well tonight you can scream all you want.”

“I don’t scream.”

“You moan. Mmm, I love your moans.”

“You are riling me up again. Get up.” When I move around the tiny room to throw the normal necessities into my bag, I turn to see Jack watching, amused and Little Jack is waking up again. “Jack, are you going to lay there pant-less all day?”

“Would you mind if I did?”

“Normally no. But I’m five seconds from attacking you, then we’ll never leave this bus and I really want to see some of New Orleans before rehearsals.” I pout.

“
Fine.” He jumps out of bed and pulls on his clothes.

“You guys still want to hang before rehearsals?” Scott asks when we walk out of the back bedroom.

“Ye
ah, as long as Oscar is coming.”

“He is. Dylan also. We are going to meet in the lobby in an hour.”

“Sounds good.”

We
quietly caravan to the hotel, check in and make our way to our rooms. Once inside, Jack sits on the edge of the bed staring at the floor. “Babe.”

“Yeah?”

“Should I try calling Jessa again?” He has that lost look he gets whenever Jessa or the baby comes up.

“Yes, you
should
call her again.”

“I don’t know why I can’t just move on.”

“You need closure.” He nods silently. I stand before him and he wraps his arms around me. “I love you.”

“I know.”

Jack’s tried calling her a few times since we got the news. She keeps refusing his calls and ignoring his messages, making him feel even worse than he already does.

“Do you want privacy?”

“No.”

This is a ritual. He stalls, finally gets the nerve
to call her hospital room, gets shot down, and sulks for the rest of the day. Just yesterday, I called her cell phone myself. I didn’t tell Jack, he wouldn’t want me getting involved with her or her conniving ways. I wasn’t expecting to speak to her. I left her a message that Jack was also a victim in this situation and the least she could do was talk to him.

After staring at his phone for ten minutes, he finally makes the call.

“Max, it’s Jack…yeah…ok.” He looks up in surprise and says, “She’s getting on.”

He pushes speaker and holds the phone away from his ear. “Hi
, Jack.”

“What made you finally want to talk to me?”

“Jack, I’m hurt, I’m upset. This isn’t about you. Not everything is about you.”

Jack shakes his head and gives me a look.
If I could reach through the phone, I’d slap her. “Jessa, I’m not going to fight with you. I wanted to know how you are feeling and if you need anything. I’ve left you messages, and I’m sure you got them. But I wanted you to hear it directly from me.”

“How sweet.”

“I didn’t do this to you. Let’s be clear, here.”

She sighs heavily into the phone. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m taking out my anger on you.”

“Thank you. How are you feeling?”

“I’m in pain, but the
heavy duty drugs help. I guess that’s the upside of not being pregnant any longer.”

“Jess
a.”

“What? Too soon for loss of pregnancy jokes?”

Jack remains silent. He looks at me and rolls his eyes. I take his hand quietly and give it a squeeze.

“Guess so.
”

“
Jessa, I gotta go. I just called to see how you are.”

“Wait…I
was debating on telling you this. I guess it’s the least I can do.” She pauses for a few seconds, takes in an audible breath and admits, “It wasn’t yours.”

Her words stun me
. I was not expecting her to ever tell him. I can’t believe she just blurted that out, the one thing that’s been tormenting us for days.

“You there?”

“Yeah.” Jack takes a deep breath and releases it. He gapes at me in shock.

“
I have legit proof, if you need it.”

“
Why did you tell me?”

“I want to move on. I hope you can forgive me. I hope this will…” She pauses and sighs before continuing. “I don’t know what I hope it will do, but I’m sorry.”

We continue to stare at each other. He pulls my hand up to gently kiss it.

“Jessa,
I’m sorry he did this to you. But that’s all I’ll apologize for.”

“Yeah, I get it. Just w
atch yourself, Jack.” She hangs up the call, without a goodbye.

“Un-fucking-real.
So now we know.”

“I can’t believe she told you
…and apologized.”

“Yeah, you’d think she would have milked this for all the sympathy she could get.” He shakes his head over and over. “All that fucking guilt and worry for nothing. I’ll never forgive her for this…ever.”

“It’s over. She can’t hurt you any more or us. We survived her lies.”

“We did. I think it made us stronger.”

“It did.”

“I know I should call my parents and let them know. This has been hard on them. I just need to digest this a bit. I feel like a weight has been lifted.”

“I do too.” I stand and hold my hand out for him. “Let’s go have some fun. We deserve it. We’re in freaking New Orleans. I want to take on the town with my husband-to-be.”

He pulls me onto his lap. “I know I’ve told you
this before, but I really appreciate all you did to try and protect me from her.”

I link my hands behind his
neck. “I know. I’d do it all over again, and then some.”