Frozen Hearts (14 page)

Sleep was sparse. Every time I slept, I'd dream about him. We were on the ice, in bed, smiling, laughing and then the images would shatter and Tyce would disappear along with everyone else I ever cared about.

On the day of my last final, I thought I was going to lose my mind when I caught sight of Tyce and Sam. Sam spotted me before I could slip into the library, but he didn't say anything. He offered me an icy glare and made sure Tyce didn't see me. I stumbled to class and filled in some answers. I had no idea if I was even in the right classroom.

I wandered around campus until it was dark outside. When I finally got home, I thought I was alone, but Dix was sitting in the dark living room, clutching a bottle of tequila.

"Sit down, Erik," he said sternly.

I was about to tell him to fuck off when I felt his hard glare boring through my skull. I sat down and stared at the wall.

He took a swig of booze and held the bottle in front of my face. I snagged it out of his hand and sucked down a huge swallow. My entire body felt like it was on fire. It was the first time in two weeks I felt anything other than numb.

"Do you love him?" Dix asked in low gravely voice.

I took another drink and stared at Dix.

"Do you love Tyce?" Dix asked again.

"What does it matter?"

"Answer the fucking question," Dix snarled.

I snorted and took another drink.

"It's not a fucking hard question Erik. It's either yes or no."

I turned my back on Dix. It wasn't a fucking easy question. I had to consider his safety.

"Foxy," Dix growled.

I stood up and shoved the bottle back in his face.

"Yes!" I shouted. "God dammit, I fucking love him, but…" Dix grabbed my arm and shoved me against the wall.

"There's your answer," he said. "Simple. You love him. That's all that fucking matters. Talk to him. You've carried a torch for him for almost six years. Straighten this shit out, Foxy, because if you let him go you're going to hate yourself for the rest of your miserable life. I already hate you for being such a stupid prick."

We both jumped when someone banged on our door. "Let me the fuck in," Sam shouted.

"You," Dix said and shoved me back on the couch. "Don't you fucking move or I'll hunt you down and skin you alive."

Dix opened the door and Sam came barreling inside, shouting about slicing my dick off if I didn't talk to him. I took another shot of tequila and waited for the world to crash down on me.

"You piece of shit," Sam shrieked. He walked over to the couch and slapped me across the face. "You need to fix him or I'm going to cut your balls off and feed them to you. I can't take this shit anymore. All he does is mope around the house."

"Christ," Dix said. He took the tequila out of my hand and downed another shot. "That's all this one does too."

He gave the bottle to Sam who tossed back a hard shot. Sam snorted and glared at me like he wanted to hit me again. "Idiots," Sam mumbled and took another swig.

"I'm not…"

"Look you son-of-a-bitch," Sam shouted. "Did you think that just because you stepped away from us that everything would be fixed?"

"Um," I muttered because yes, I did believe people would leave them alone with me out of the picture.

"It didn't happen shit head. People still say crazy stuff and harass us, but it's worse with you not around."

Dix shoved me. I grabbed the bottle and took another drink, because fuck, I did want to cave and run back to Tyce, beg him to forgive me for being an idiot, but I was scared.

"He's not going to talk to me," I said.

"Try," Sam said. "Beg. Do whatever it takes. He knows you're a stupid hockey player. Use the fact that people hit you in the head on a regular occurrence."

"What he said," Dix said.

We passed the bottle around a few more times. I didn't know what to do. Dix's phone chimed and he got a goofy grin on his face. It broke the immense tension in the room when he shook his fist in the air.

"Booty call," he shouted.

"Jesus," Sam snapped. "Everyone's getting laid except me. Life stinks."

Sam sat down on the couch and took another drink.

Dix did a little dance. "Hey, no offense but you two need to leave. I need to relax."

"Nice, kicking me out so you can get a little action," I said.

"Damn right," Dix said.

"Fine," I huffed. "I need to skate."

"No, you need to fix Tyce," Sam snapped. "He's no fun. He walks around like a fucking ghost. I want my friend back, so go skate then you text him and grovel at his feet for his forgiveness."

I sighed. "I miss him."

"I know, Erik, just fix this," Sam said and hugged me.

"I'm sorry that you got hurt," I said. "I didn't mean…"

"Did you do it?"

"What?" I asked.

"Did you beat the shit out of me?"

"No," I said, horrified he would even ask the question.

"Then don't apologize for something someone else did. When we find the assholes you may seek vengeance for me, but you have no right to apologize for them."

"Fine, but…"

"No buts," Sam giggled. "Unless I can tap it."

He burst out laughing and headed for the door. "You have exactly one hour at the rink then you text, call, or show up at the house to beg Tyce to take you back."

"Fine," I said. He grinned at me and flounced out of the house.

Five minutes later, my door banged open and Arielle flew into the house, screeching for me. Jesus, everyone wanted a chunk of me today.

"In here," I shouted from my bedroom.

"You need to talk to him," she shouted.

"I know," I said.

"You little shit… What?"

"Sam was already here. First Dix gave it to me then Sam let me have it. You're late."

"Well, whatever, as long as you're going to talk to him."

"I am," I said. "I fucked up, but when Sam got the shit beat out of him, it scared the crap out of me."

"It's not going to stop because you walk away."

"I thought it would. I hoped it would. I don't want anyone else to get hurt," I murmured.

"Running away won't fix anything," Arielle said.

"Stop being a shrink," I said.

She sighed. "Just fix this."

"I will. Sam gave me an hour then I have to text, call, or go over."

She looked at her phone. "One hour it is. I have to go," she said. She typed in a quick message and jammed her phone in her pocket. She left before I could say anything. I shook my head and stared at my phone for a few minutes before I punched in the four simple words. Alone they didn't mean much, but when I put them all together, they meant more to me than anything in the entire world.

Always have, always will.

I thought back to when my dad sent me off, and all the times I tried to send Tyce a message. I'd never followed through and I'd lost him. By some miracle, I'd been given a second chance with him and fuck, I didn't want it to end like this. I pushed send and held my breath.

My phone buzzed and I was scared shitless to look at the screen. What if he told me to fuck off? What if I'd blown it? I squeezed the phone and slowly opened my eyes. There was a small x staring at me.

"Oh, thank fucking God," I mumbled. My legs felt like they were going to give out. I bolted out and almost banged into Dix.

"You're still here," Dix said. "She's going to be here soon. You need to get the fuck out."

"I'm going," I said.

"Did you talk to him?"

"Sent him a text," I said.

"And should I wait up for you," Dix asked.

"Hope not." I laughed and shoved him.

"One more for the road," he said, holding up the bottle of tequila.

"What the hell," I said. We both took another shot. It barely burned on the way down, which meant I wasn't feeling much pain.

"Hey," Dix said as he grabbed the sleeve of my shirt. "Good luck and just in case, man." He slipped a condom into my pocket and dissolved into a fit of laughter.

I shook my head, smiling because he really was a true friend. He accepted me without blinking and I loved him for it.

"You forgot to include the lube," I deadpanned.

His eyebrows rose and a small smile quirked in place. "Next time I'll make up a kit."

"Christ, Dix," I said laughing as I shut the door. "Later."

The parking lot was eerily quiet. Everyone was probably at the blue house partying. I'd heard they were having a final blowout tonight to celebrate the end of the school year and to celebrate that the house was still standing. The graduating seniors who lived at the house would also be passing their keys to the next lot of inhabitants. It had become quite the ritual.

A soft breeze ruffled my hair and carried forward the voices of a group of people who were making their way through the parking lot. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Almost everyone asked stupid questions or flashed pictures of Tyce and me in my face. I shoved my hands in my pockets and lowered my head, veering away from the group. I was almost past them when someone shouted my name.

"Is that you, Foxy?"

I debated answering but someone grabbed my arm and spun me around. Rochelle's brothers, Aaron and Jon, and a few other guys were glaring at me, quickly surrounding me. I nodded and tried to break through the circle of people, but they pushed me back into the center.

"You fucked up our baby sister, fag boy," Aaron shouted.

"Look," I said. "I'm sorry." It sounded lame but I couldn't think of anything else to say to them. I was too busy trying to figure out how to get the hell away from these assholes. I could fight a couple of guys but I didn't stand a chance against five.

"So, it's true then? You really are a fucking homo," Jon asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a fucking homo," I said. "Now get the hell out of my way, I have somewhere to be."

Aaron shoved me. "You're not going anywhere. Cookie got in a few good swats at your boyfriend and Shane and Nate took care of his little roommate."

The rest of the guys snickered and started calling me all sorts of stupid names. I tried to push through them but they refused to back down. The taunts got more cruel and disgusting until I snapped. Anyway I looked at it, this situation wasn't going to end well for me, so I hauled off and punched Jon in the face when he called me a cocksucker and spit at me.

All hell broke lose. I managed to hold my own for a few minutes, but there was too many of them. Someone nailed me in the side and I got another sharp jab to the kidney. Jon got me back when he punched me in the mouth. My teeth rattled, cutting into my cheek. Blood poured out, dripping down my chin. I kneed Aaron so hard in the groin that he dropped to the ground, crying out in pain.

Some guy tackled me and I got a face full of pavement. He smashed my head against the concrete and stars burst in front of my eyes. I got a moment to breathe when I heard someone shouting at them to stop. When I looked up, Cookie was only a fuzzy outline, but his words were crystal clear.

"Oh, it's only the fag boy," he said. He turned and walked away, leaving me on the ground. That hurt worse than the beating I was taking from these jerks. They all laughed and started kicking and hitting me again. It went on forever. Soon, I could only see shadows and their shouts turned to echoes.

"That was for Rochelle," one shouted and spit on me, before they ran off, whooping and slapping each other on the back while I lay on the ground in a puddle of my blood and vomit.

I crawled about two inches and felt the world drop out from under me. All I could focus on was that somewhere across campus there was a boy thinking I'd deserted him again.

"Tyce."

I'm not sure how long I lay on the ground, unmoving. I finally managed to get my phone out of my pocket, but the fucking thing was busted. I was not going to fucking die in a godforsaken parking lot. Tyce needed to know I loved him.

I struggled to my hands and knees, swaying when shots of pain jolted through my body. I coughed and spit out a blob of blood. It was going to take me forever, but I started to crawl back to our apartment. A car came squealing into the parking lot, stopping by our door. Arielle jumped out and raced up the stairs, pounding on the door and shouting for Dix. A rumpled, half-naked Dix opened the door and stared at her. He shook his head. Arielle sat down on the steps, tugging at her hair and muttering. She thought I'd abandoned Tyce too.

I summoned the last ounce of strength I had and reached out for her car. My fingers slipped against the cold metal, but I finally managed to get hold of the mirror, gripping it tightly to keep my balance as I stood on very shaky legs.

"Arielle," I whimpered, clutching my side. Her head shot up and she glared at me.

"Erik, where the fuck have you been? Tyce is… holy shit… Erik," she screamed.

She jumped down the steps, bounding over to me. She grabbed hold of me and I coughed so hard my blood spattered on her pink shirt.

"Oh my fuck! Erik," my sister screamed. She leaned me against the tire of her car and ran up the stairs to our front door. "Dix, help me! He's hurt. Erik's hurt. Fucking call 911."

I heard the door open. Dix was going to be pissed I interrupted his booty call again. I tried to remain sitting, but I tipped to the side, crumpling to the ground as the world faded out again. Through a hazy cloud of pain I heard my sister sobbing. Someone cradled my head, stroking my hair. With every beat of my heart, more things hurt and I started to believe dying might not be so bad.

"Hurry. Please hurry," Dix shouted in a strangled voice.

Sirens.

"You'll be okay. Stay with me, please, Erik. You'll be okay," Arielle chanted in my ear. She sounded hysterical. I didn't feel like I was going to be okay.

"Help is coming. Help is coming. Please Erik, hang on," she whimpered. "Oh God, please, you're the only brother I have and I want to keep you around."

Dix placed a comforting arm around Arielle's shoulders. She turned her face and sobbed into his neck.

"Foxy, stay strong," Dix said. His voice sounded like an echo.

A crowd was gathering, whispering and pointing. Someone poked me and rolled me to my side, shouting directions at unseen faces.