FUEL (DirtSlap Series Book 1) (11 page)

“Cassie, wait,” he said right before she slammed the door to her room. He rubbed his eyes, the pain of it all hitting him. Agonizing words echoed in his head.

He’s dead. You just made her cry, you bastard.

Thrand leaned his hands on the cold granite and took a deep breath. How the hell could he fix this? He wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring into nothing, but that was the only solution he had come up with. Nothing. He focused on her bedroom door, walked across the room, then paced. He laced his hands at the back of his neck and looked at his feet. He was so confused and torn with guilt.

What could he say? He was at a total loss. Several times he wandered to the door, only to stop. Give her some breathing room. That seemed reasonable. But how much time? Hell, he didn’t know. After thirty minutes, he shuffled to her door, dreading the hurt he would see on her face. He still didn’t have a clue what he was going to say but knocked anyway.

“Cas, come out. Let’s talk about this.”

She didn’t answer. He was ready to walk in, whether she wanted him to or not, when the doorbell rang. He looked at the time. Who the hell would be here at seven thirty on a Saturday morning? Yanking the front door open, he was surprised to see Ryan, his hair sticking in every direction, a hicky on his neck and his shirt only half buttoned.

“Um, can I come in?” Ryan mumbled on a yawn.

He stepped back to let him. “Something wrong?”

“Uh, Cassie called me,” he replied hesitantly.

“What the hell for?” He didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t like it.

Just then, Cassie flung open her door so hard it banged on the wall.

“He’s giving me a ride. Not that you should care.” She stalked across the room, bags in her hand.

“You’re leaving?” he asked, shocked. After last night, she was walking out? “You don’t want to talk about this?”

She pinned him with icy green eyes, all traces of tears gone. “I think you made things crystal clear. I’m sure as hell not staying here with you.”

She turned her back on him and said to Ryan, “Thanks for the ride.”

Then she stomped out.

Thrand clenched his hands as Cassie got into Ryan’s truck. Thrand turned his glare on his friend.

“I don’t know what’s going on. She didn’t really say. All I know is she asked for a ride to Lila’s ‘cause Lila wouldn’t answer her phone.” Ryan dropped his shoulders in defeat. “Cassie said if I didn’t come get her, she’d walk.”

Thrand shook his head and rushed out to the truck. “Cassie, get your ass back in here so we can talk.”

She stared at her hands.

“Come on. Look at me. Talk to me.” He heard a sniffle and stopped. “Cas?”

He put his hands on the window frame, trying to peer at her face.

She finally looked up at him, tears streaking down her cheeks. “I might be trailer trash, but I deserve better than being someone’s guilt trip.”

He dropped his hands and shoved them into his pockets. His eyes clung to hers as Ryan slowly got in the truck and drove away.

The only echoes in his head now were…
You really fucked up this time.

He made his way into the house, fell on the couch, and stared blankly at the TV. He couldn’t believe she left him. He put his elbows on his knees, leaned his head into his hands and memories replayed in his head like broken reel. He thought he’d been happy with his life, but he hadn’t been this fired up over anything in a long time.

Not a girl. Not music. Not anything.

When he’d come to Nashville, he’d been lost. Felt totally alone. All he had was a lead, a handful of cash, his truck and a set of sticks. So he’d tried something different. He shoved the ‘Bedlam’ side of himself in a trunk and did his best to never think of the Daltons or Woodbridge Grove.

He’d succeeded. Mostly. His life was calm but lacked punch.

That crazy girl turned his world on its head. She wasn’t simple. She wasn’t easy. She was everything he tried to stay away from. She made him lose control.

The doorbell jolted
him awake and his neck ached from the uncomfortable position he’d obviously fallen asleep in. He blinked gritty eyes and noticed it was almost noon. He got up, stretched a bit, and ambled to the door. He knew before he even opened it that it wasn’t Cassie. She would’ve just walked in. He opened it, wondering what other surprises were in store for him.

Mick stood there, in full biker gear. Thrand glanced in the drive and spotted the guy’s Harley. If he weren’t so off-kilter, he would be over there checking it out. But as it was, just being upright took energy.

“Hey, boy,” Mick said, then grimaced. “You look like hell.”

Thrand nodded, turned and left the door open. He walked to the kitchen to pour out the now cold coffee and started brewing a fresh batch. He heard the door shut and Mick’s heavy steps.

He faced Mick as he sat on a stool. “Nice place you got here.”

“Thanks. Coffee?” He offered as he waited for Mick to tear into him. There was no doubt he was here to rip him a new one. Mick was always protective of his girls.

“No, thanks. I wanted to come by and tell you how great your gig was last night.”

Thrand cocked a brow at him. He didn’t believe that for a second and poured himself a cup. He hoped the caffeine would make things seem a little clearer for what Mick was really here to say.

“I had no idea you could play like that.” Mick narrowed his gaze. “What’s up, man? Something bothering you?”

Thrand laughed sarcastically. “Would you just get on with it? ‘Cause I feel like hell, and I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

Mick’s brows furrowed and his heavy boot tapped his floor. “What are you talking about? Did something happen?”

“You don’t know?” Thrand asked, surprised.

“No clue. I just wanted to talk to you about an idea I had. But is there something you need to get off your chest first? Where’s Jailbait, by the way? I can only assume it has something to do with that girl.”

“Oh hell, Mick. Isn’t it always a girl? Especially that one.” He took a sip of the coffee, ready for it to start working anytime. “She left me. Packed her stuff and left.”

Mick chuckled. “Well, she is a bit of a firecracker.”

Thrand sighed and rubbed the top of his head. “I don’t usually ask for advice, but I’m really at a loss right now.”

“Spit it out, boy.”

Thrand sighed and did just that, telling Mick the entire history of him and Cas. He finally paused, swallowed, and blurted out the rest. “She was a virgin.”

It was a little refreshing to see that he wasn’t the only one blindsided by it.

“Cassie is a virgin?”

“Was.”

“Damn. I’m guessing she didn’t tell you ahead of time.” Mick stroked his goatee in thought. “So you’re feeling a shitload of guilt?”

Thrand took another sip of his coffee and wished it were whiskey instead. “You have no idea. I was supposed to protect her.”

Mick nodded. “I can’t speak for your friend, of course, but did it ever occur to you that maybe he would be happy she was with you? I mean, he trusted you. You know, you don’t typically mess with your boys’ sister, but there are exceptions. Do you think there might be a chance he’s looking down thankful that it was you and not some asshole who would hurt her?”

Thrand rubbed the back of his neck. “No, I hadn’t thought of that.”

Would Cameron really think that?

“Don’t let guilt rip you up. You can’t go back and undo it.” Mick nodded when Thrand met his gaze. “Now, the real reason I’m here. I want you to start a band.”

“A band? You know I don’t stick with one band.”

“Maybe it just hasn’t been the right band. Dude, you packed the house last night with your drum solo. I’m sure you didn’t notice, ‘cause you played for your girl, but the place was so full, people stood outside listening. Why not start a country band with a little more rock?” Mick grinned from ear to ear, his gold tooth on full display.

“In Nashville? I don’t think it would fly.” Thrand shook his head, but the idea was intriguing.

“All those people weren’t in there because of what the band was playing. It was you. All because of your sound.” He slapped the counter and stood. “Think about it. This town could use something different. No one is doing it and you got the chops to pull it off. Listen, I have a couple of guys that might fit the bill. Singer and bass player. Ryan could play guitar. Let me know. I gotta go.”

Mick got up and walked to the door, then turned to look at him. “And about your girl? I think you know what to do. Later, man.”

For the first time all day, Thrand smiled.

“Y
ou’re a virgin?”
Lila’s voice was an ear-piercing screech as she stared at her wide-eyed.

Cassie groaned and put her head in her hands. “Was. I
was
a virgin. Why is everyone so surprised by this?”

“You really gotta ask that? Maybe because you’re hot as hell and a tad wild. I’m sorry. I’m just having a real hard time wrapping my head around this. And Thrand didn’t know?”

Curled up on Lila’s couch, she rested her chin on her knees, letting her hair hide her face. She hated crying in front of people. That she’d done it in front of Thrand pissed her off.

“No, he didn’t know. It wouldn’t have happened otherwise.”

Lila huffed and flopped beside her. “Girl, I’m on your side, but you had to know he would be a bit shocked.”

She peered up at her redheaded friend. “Yeah, I could deal with shock. But he accused me of using it to hurt him. To make him feel more guilt. A payback for taking off all those years ago.”

Cassie barely held back the tears as she recalled the look of disgust on his face. She deserved him being upset, but not that.

“Whoa, he did what? Seriously, sometimes men are just jackasses.”

“Thanks for letting me stay here for a while. I promise I won’t be here too long. I just couldn’t stay with him.” She shook her head. A box would be preferable to living with him. To face him every day knowing what he thought of her. Of that night.

A night she would never forget.

Now she wished she could.

Her phone rang. She saw Thrand’s face on the screen. She stifled a sob as she hit ignore. She hadn’t had very much comfort growing up, but she didn’t stop Lila when she pulled her into a hug as Cassie cried on her shoulder. Tears clogged her throat.

Breathe.

She inhaled deeply, let it out, and looked up at Lila. “Thanks.”

“Of course. What are friends for?”

She pulled away, hating the pity she saw in her eyes. “Can I borrow your shower?”

“You’re staying here. You can help yourself to whatever, hon.”

Cassie nodded and shut herself in the bathroom. Once under the hot spray, she released all the pain she’d been holding in and crumbled into a tight ball in the bathtub. With her fists pressed to mouth, she trembled and screamed into them. She leaned on the tile wall and tilted her head up toward the showerhead. She’d known it would hurt. That if he chose to, he could tear her apart.

She hadn’t expected it to slice so deep.

While they’d made love, she was whole. Like all the missing pieces of her were put in place. All the darkness, that had been her life, dissipated.

One night.

A few hours, was all she’d gotten.

Having that peace within her grasp, knowing how it felt, then having it ripped from her so quickly tore bits of her she hadn’t even known existed. She choked on how it suffocated and broke her. The spray of water might have washed away her tears, but it did nothing for the ache that had settled like a dead weight in her chest.

Four days later,
Cassie grit her teeth as she glared at her phone. How many times did she have to ignore his calls and delete his texts without reading them? She stomped to the bar and shoved the phone at Mick.

“Burn this, or something.”

“You know, Jailbait, maybe you should listen to him. Give the poor guy a chance.”

Cassie narrowed her eyes. “He talked to you, didn’t he? That son-of-a-bitch. How dare he talk to
my
boss.”

If she didn’t think it would cost her the job, she would throw the mugs against the brick wall.

“Easy there, kid. It was just by chance. I showed up at his house to talk music not hours after you walked. Needless to say, his mind was not on music.”

She shoved a hand through her hair, tugged a ponytail holder out of her pocket and pulled it up. “Does everyone know intimate details of my sex life?”

She swiveled on a huff, pasted a smile on her lips to help the customers. But inside, she seethed, especially when she heard Mick’s laugh. Men were assholes.

When her shift ended, she wasted very little time getting out and going to a bar the farthest from Boosey’s she could find. She was dead tired, but there was no way she would go back to Lila’s to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling, wide awake.

*