Full Circle (50 page)

Lisa shot out of the kitchen and returned a
minute later, her phone to her ear.

Sirens rang out in the distance, and Karma
hurried to the front door, throwing it open and running into the
front yard to flag them down.

Once the ambulance arrived, time flashed,
everything happening faster than she could track. The EMTs rushed
inside, strapped her dad onto a gurney, busily attended to him in a
flurry of activity, and then hurried him into the ambulance. The
sirens turned back on, and with the neighbors gawking from their
yards, the EMTs whisked him away.

Mom was delirious with worry, crying, pacing,
frantic to get to the hospital.

“I’ll drive,” Lisa said as Karma locked up
the house.

“Good, because I’m not sure I can drive right
now.” Now that her dad was in the hands of the doctors, she was
unraveling fast.

That was her dad. Her hero. The first love of
her life. She couldn’t lose him. Not like this. Not today. Not
ever.

Tears streaked her cheeks as she bustled her
mom into Lisa’s car and hopped into the passenger seat.

She needed her fiancé. Her future husband.
Her rock. Because right now she wasn’t sure she could stand on her
own without falling right back over.

Giada’s words from the night the two talked
in Mark’s childhood bedroom came back to her.
Mark is your
strength. You are his purpose. Together, you build something strong
that can weather any storm.

She finally understood. She got it now. Mark
was her foundation, and she was his reason for being. They needed
each other. Everything else was inconsequential. What was marriage
but a symbolic ritual to show the public that two people who loved
each other had chosen to spend their lives together? The choice had
already been made. She and Mark had already chosen one another. Was
a wedding more important than that? Was a wedding necessary to make
their love for one another stronger than it already was?

All marriage did was make an already
committed relationship legal in the eyes of the government. She and
Mark could just as easily take that step without holding a grand
event where a few hundred people gathered to witness their vows.
They could just go to a Justice of the Peace and not dither around
with making plans for a gargantuan, intimidating affair that would
upset Mark.

Compromise. A relationship was all about
compromise.

But right now, she just needed him. She
needed his arms around her. She needed his power, his strength, his
stability.

In one brutal moment of clarity, she
understood the truth. She didn’t need anything else but him. Just
him. Without Mark, she was barely half.

Fishing her phone out of her purse, she
dialed his number.

* * *

“Dinner was terrific,” Mark said to Antonio. “You’re
one talented cook.”

“You two should compare notes,” Carol
added.

He wasn’t sure he was ready to become best
friends with Antonio, but he could start by getting to know the
guy. He’d never given him a chance before, but anyone who could
make homemade tortellini that incredible couldn’t be all bad.

“Sure,” Mark said. “I’m always looking for
recipes I can steal.”

Antonio snorted at his light-hearted ribbing.
“Only if I can steal your meatball recipe. I really hated you
during Carol’s pregnancy. All she wanted were your damn meatballs,
and I could never seem to get the recipe quite right.”

“Is that so?” He smiled at Carol as they
stacked their dirty dishes.

Krissy cooed up at them and slapped her hands
on the tray of her high chair. She had Carol’s blue eyes and her
dad’s black hair. She was going to be a stunner when she grew up.
He could only hope to have a couple of such beautiful girls of his
own someday, but only if Karma took him back.

She
had
to take him back. He had to
make her see he was no longer afraid. That he was finally all-in.
Really and truly all-in this time.

Carol ruffled Krissy’s hair and kissed her
forehead as she sat down beside her. “Poor Tony. All he heard about
for nine months was about Mark’s incredible spaghetti and
meatballs.” She leaned over and kissed her husband.

“So, yeah, Mark,” Antonio said, “The next
time Carol’s pregnant, I’m getting that meatball recipe from you. I
don’t care what it takes.”

“Only if you hand over your tortellini
recipe. That was incredible.”

“Consider it done.”

The three of them had chatted more about the
past during dinner, talking openly for the first time about what
had happened. About how he and Carol had been so young.
Too
young. Neither knowing what they or the other really wanted. More
apologies went around the table, and then, as is often the case
over good food and good wine, the apologies and tension gradually
gave way to laughter and pleasant conversation.

Carol asked about Mark’s job, his plans for
the future, and Karma. He asked about life with a baby, their
dancing, and their recent win in Europe. The conversation was an
equal give-and-take, no one dominating, discussion smoothly
flowing.

“So, when are you going to have more kids?”
he asked. That was one thing they hadn’t discussed, yet.

They looked at each other, and Carol smiled.
“We’re trying now.”

“Really?” He glanced at Krissy as she gave a
random squeal of laughter. “What about dancing?”

“We’ll still dance for now, but Antonio wants
to open a restaurant someday, and I’d like to have more time to
raise a family. So we’re looking at making some changes in the next
few years.”

Mark recalled the burst of flavors that had
blown his mind from the first bite of Antonio’s tortellini. “Let me
guess,” he said to Antonio, “you want to open an Italian
restaurant.”

“Yes. Authentic Italian from the
Motherland.”

“I think you’re on to something there.” He
nodded at their empty plates.

“Thank you.” Antonio glanced at Carol, who
smiled back.

Mark knew what she was thinking, because he
was thinking it, too. When she opened the door tonight and let him
in, they’d been strangers. Three people who had tiptoed around one
another for eight years. Now, after a couple hours of good
conversation and good food, they sort of felt like friends. Friends
with a long way to go before they were completely comfortable with
one another, but friends with potential, for sure.

But then, that’s how forgiveness worked.
Truly forgiving someone lifted away not just the fear, but the
resentment and animosity, too. It swept away all the
inconsequential goo, leaving behind a clean beginning.

Mark wasn’t blameless in what had happened
with Carol. He was as much responsible as she was. He couldn’t
fault her without faulting himself, especially when he realized
that this was the path their lives had been meant to take.

Maybe some good would come out of this
now.

Carol and Antonio had just begun to clear the
table while he kept Krissy entertained when Karma’s ringtone began
serenading the room. Maybe it was cheesy, but he’d selected the 80s
song Lady in Red as her ringtone. It seemed so fitting given how
they’d met.

He pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Karma?

“Mark?”

Immediately, he knew something was wrong. She
was crying.

Every cell in his body locked up as he shot
to attention. “What’s wrong? Karma, are you okay?”

“I need you.” She sobbed. “My dad had a heart
attack.”

Carol and Antonio stopped and watched him,
concern etching their faces.

“I’m coming. I’ll be there as soon as I can.
Where did they take him?”

She rattled off the name of the hospital.

“Mark, I’m sorry I got mad at you. I—”

“Ssshhh. Don’t worry about that right now.
That’s the last thing you should be thinking about. Just hold tight
until I get there, okay? I’m leaving Chicago now. I’ll be there as
soon as I can.”

She whimpered, making a sound that sounded
like “Okay.”

He paused then said, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

She sobbed. “I don’t know, Mark. It’s pretty
bad.”

“Ssshhh. I’m on my way.”

He disconnected then turned to his hosts. “I
need to go. There’s an emergency.”

Carol nodded. “Of course. Go. You need to be
there.”

She and Antonio followed him to the front
door, where she gave him a quick hug.

“Thank you for coming, Mark.” She didn’t need
to say any more to express how important their conversation had
been to her. She looked relieved, as if she’d finally forgiven
herself.

Mark knew exactly how she felt. Finally
facing the past had completely freed him. The air was clear again.
“Thank you for dinner.”

Antonio held out his hand, and Mark shook
it.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Antonio said. “And
about those meatballs . . .”

Mark grinned. “I’ll e-mail the recipe as soon
as I get the chance. But you’re sworn to secrecy. I’ve never given
that recipe to anyone.”

“I’ll guard it with my life,” he said.

With a curt nod, he gave them each one final
glance then turned and hurried down the steps.

With a wave out the passenger window, he hit
the gas and sped away.

Karma needed him.

And he needed her.

And this time would be forever.

Chapter 36

We are made wise not by the recollection of our
past, but by the responsibility for our future.

-George Bernard Shaw

Karma paced in a small waiting area in the hospital.
It had been over two hours since she talked to Mark.

She bit her thumbnail as she crossed the room
again. She had to have walked five miles over a ten-foot stretch of
carpet since arriving here.

Mom sat with her eyes closed in the corner,
finally silent. She’d cried herself out and had locked herself into
prayer mode for the last hour. Johnny and Estelle sat on the other
side of the room, huddled together, Johnny’s face hidden against
Estelle’s shoulder, the baby sleeping in her stroller beside them.
Johnny had broken into quiet sobs several times in the past two
hours. Karma wasn’t used to seeing him like that, especially where
Dad was concerned. Johnny had always nitpicked Dad. He had been
like sandpaper rubbing smooth metal, dulling the shine, streaking
the surface with scratches. Yet now he crumpled under the
possibility that they could lose their father.

When he stood, head bowed, shoulders slumped,
shirt ruffled, and made his way from the room with a quiet word of
reassurance to Estelle that he needed to get some air, Karma waited
a moment then followed him.

She caught up to him at the elevator,
skirting in just as the doors began to close.

Johnny was wiping his palms down his face but
stopped as she rushed in. They exchanged glances.

His eyes were bloodshot. She imagined hers
probably were, too.

After holding her gaze for several seconds,
he glanced toward the floor and shuffled his feet.

Karma had been thinking a lot about Johnny
since seeing him at their parents’ house, hanging out with Dad like
they were best buddies.

“You and Dad have gotten closer in the last
few months,” she said quietly.

He dragged in a deep breath and looked up at
the blinking numbers above the doors. “Yeah.”

“Ever since he and I had a falling out.”

The doors opened, and Johnny wasted no time
vacating the elevator.

She followed.

“What made you wait so long to make nice with
Dad, Johnny?”

“Not now, Karma. I don’t want to talk about
this now.”

“I’m not mad, just curious. Talk to me.”

She and Johnny had never had the best sibling
relationship that ever was. As kids, he’d been horrid to her,
teasing, making fun, instigating his friends to bully her at
school. He’d been an awful little brother.

But something about Johnny was different. He
wasn’t as cocky. He was nicer. Almost humble.

“Why are you so interested all of a sudden?”
He passed through the doors that led outside the emergency room
entrance.

“I just want to know. Dad and I haven’t been
talking much, and now I see how close you two have become when the
two of you have been at each other’s throats since we were kids. Is
it so wrong I want to know what’s changed?”

Johnny paced to the side, away from the
lights of the entrance. The sun had set an hour ago, casting the
area in shadows.

Finally, he stopped and hung his head. When
his shoulders shuddered, she knew he was crying again.

“Johnny, hey, it’s going to be okay. He’s not
going to die.” She slid her arm around his shoulders.

The meager contact must have jolted him,
because in a blink, he turned and crushed her to him as he sobbed
against her shoulder. So sudden was his outburst that for a moment,
Karma couldn’t breathe. Her whole body froze. Then her own emotions
overflowed, and she hugged him hard, crying with him.

She and Johnny had never shown each other
affection. They had never bonded over anything. They’d been at odds
for as long as she could remember. Yet now they held each other the
way a brother and sister should when faced with the knowledge that
they were blood relations who had to rely on each other to get
through the hard times.

“I always resented you, Karma,” he said
between sobs. “You were always Dad’s favorite. He loved you better
than he loved me. You always got his attention first, and I got
what was left.” He coughed through another sob. “You and Dad went
fishing together. You did things together. He never did anything
with me.”

He was confessing. Purging what sounded like
years of hidden pain. And Karma’s heart broke. She’d never known
he’d felt this way. That he’d harbored such sorrowful, resentful
emotions all these years.