Full Circle (47 page)

Karma uncrossed her arms and sighed. “What
are you saying? That I overreacted?”

“Not necessarily. This could be just the
swift kick in the ass he needs.” Lisa handed her another tissue as
tears bubbled at the corners of her eyes again. “Mark holds onto a
lot of fear. He’s afraid of losing you. Maybe even overly afraid,
which is why it was so hard for him to reveal all his secrets in
the first place, and why he kept trying to push you away. He
probably didn’t even realize he was doing that.”

Now that the drama of the day was winding
down and she’d expelled her pent-up frustration, Karma felt a
little silly for some of the assumptions she’d made, even if they
held a hint of validation. But still, she couldn’t just take him
back if he was unwilling to change. He needed to show her something
to convince her he was willing to work for their future. Whether
that was getting rid of the old jewelry, actually setting a wedding
date, or explaining what the last item on his list really meant, or
all of the above, she needed
something
.

As if reading her mind, Lisa said, “You need
some good food and a good night’s sleep. Maybe even an intense yoga
session. You haven’t been sleeping, which is messing with your
mind, and you haven’t been to yoga class in weeks. You’re probably
just out of balance. You know yoga helps you see things more
clearly.”

“I’ve been too busy.”

“Well, tomorrow morning, I’m taking you to
the gym.”

She groaned and flopped her head on the back
of the couch. “Lisa, I don’t have my clothes.”

“I’ll loan you some of mine.”

“Lisa—”

“Nope. Not gonna hear your excuses, sweetie.
You’re going, and that’s final. You’ll feel better and be able to
think more clearly so you can sort all this out.”

There was no sense arguing. Lisa was in mom
mode.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

Lisa’s phone pinged with a text. She picked
it up as Karma dabbed her eyes and blew her nose.

A second later, Lisa grabbed the empty ice
cream container and started for the kitchen with her phone.

“Is it him?” Karma asked. She’d turned her
own phone off so he couldn’t reach her and talk his way out of the
dog house.

Lisa stopped and gave her a sheepish smile.
“He wants to know if you’re okay.”

She missed him. She wanted to be in his arms
right now, but the image in her mind was a fantasy that included
him putting her engagement ring back on her finger as he poured out
his soul, promising never to let Carol come between them again. The
reality was that it would take more than a simple assertion of his
intent to make it happen. She wanted actions, not words. She needed
him to actually make a change, not just say he was going to.

“What are you going to tell him?”

Lisa shrugged. “The truth.” She hesitated.
“Do you want to talk to him?”

“No.” If she did, she would cave. And she
couldn’t do that. Mark needed to get his head out of his ass, and
the only way that was going to happen was if she stuck to her
guns.

But as Lisa disappeared into the kitchen, all
Karma wanted was to hear his voice.

No matter how angry she was right now, she
still loved him. She still wanted him.

And she still wanted to marry him.

* * *

Mark sat behind the wheel of his car, waiting for
Lisa to reply. He couldn’t leave until he knew Karma was okay.

His phone pinged and he quickly checked the
message.

She’s better but still upset. But don’t worry. She’s
staying with me tonight. I won’t let anything happen to her.

What a relief. Thank God for Lisa.

He replied,
Thank you. I’m heading up to
Chicago tonight. And I’m not coming back until I’ve fixed
this.

Her response came within thirty seconds.
I
know you’re working through some serious shit right now. But maybe
this will help. She still loves you. She’s crazy about you. So, go
get your shit together so you can come back here and put a smile on
her face again.

Lisa’s text made his heart flutter. Karma
still loved him. There was still hope.

See you in a few days.
He wouldn’t ask
Lisa to tell Karma he loved her. He needed to show Karma that when
he returned home.

He set his phone down and backed out of the
driveway, headed for Chicago. Back to where it all began.

Within the next twenty-four hours, the last
eight years would finally come full circle and he could re-chart
the path he’d always been meant to take.

And this time, he would get it right.

He
would
dance again. And he would
dance with Karma.

Part III

Chapter 33

Forgive the person and their actions, never give in
to hate, let it go, set it free, and karma will take care of what
is meant to be.

-Author Unknown

Karma gathered a few things from her bedroom while
Lisa waited downstairs. With Mark gone, she could stay here instead
of going to her parents’, but doing that felt all wrong. If she was
going to stay in her own home, she wanted Mark to be with her. Even
though she didn’t want to be around him right now, staying in their
home without him there felt all kinds of wrong.

She would stay with her parents a few days
and wait to see what happened once Mark returned from Chicago. Lisa
had told her that was where Mark said he was going. That he
intended to fix things while he was there. Maybe a miracle would
happen and he’d come home a changed man.

Either way, Lisa had been right. Yoga class
had made her feel better. More calm. Mentally balanced. And after
finally getting a decent night’s sleep, a lot of what had happened
yesterday came into clearer focus, making her realize she’d gone a
bit too far over the deep end.

Amazing what a lack of sleep could do to
shred already-frayed emotions.

“You got everything?” Lisa said as she came
down the stairs. “I’m going to be late for my hair
appointment.”

Karma adjusted the strap of the duffel bag
over her shoulder. It was Mark’s, but Lisa didn’t have to know
that. She just wanted to keep a small piece of him with her.

“I think so.” She locked up.

Less than fifteen minutes later, Lisa pulled
into her parents’ driveway. “I’ll be back after I get my hair done
to take you to pick up your car.”

Her Civic was still at Solar.

“I’m not going anywhere, so I’ll be
here.”

“Maybe we can go see a movie or something.
Grab a bite to eat.”

Karma smiled. “It’s a date.” She climbed out
of Lisa’s car then turned around. “Thanks for listening to me last
night, Lisa.”

“No problem, girl. Someday maybe you’ll get
the chance to do the same for me. If I’m ever so lucky to have
boyfriend troubles, that is.” She winked then shifted the car into
reverse. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“See you later.” She started up the sidewalk
as Lisa backed out.

Before she could even ring the doorbell, her
mom opened the door.

“Oh, honey. What’s happened? Are you
okay?”

She had called her mom this morning, giving
her a heads up that she was coming over for a few days, but she
hadn’t gone into the details. Admitting she and Mark were briefly
separated wasn’t something she relished explaining, especially to
her father.

“I’m fine, Mom.” She lugged her bag
inside.

Her dad stood at the far side of the front
room, arms crossed, jaw set, eyebrows furrowed. “He hurt you,
didn’t he?”

She set her duffel on the floor. “Dad, I
don’t want to get into it right now.”

He uncrossed his arms, his frown deepening.
“I knew this would happen. I knew he wasn’t the right man for you
and you were moving too fast.” But his voice was tinged with regret
and disappointment, as if he’d actually started to accept Mark but
didn’t want to admit it.

She sighed, bringing her hand toward her
face, and tipped her forehead against her fingers. She felt a
headache coming on. “Dad, it’s not like that.”

“What did he do to you, Karma? I swear
I’ll—”

“No, Dad!” She held up her hand and shook her
head. “Mark didn’t do this. I did. Okay? I did this.”

The last thing she needed right now was her
dad rubbing salt in her self-inflicted wounds. Yes, Mark had hurt
her. Yes, Mark’s behavior had pushed her to this point. But she was
the one who had walked away, not the other way around. No doubt,
Mark would have stayed with her. Mark never would have walked away
or threatened to leave. After all, he had walked through fire to
come back to her. He had tattooed her name over his heart, for
God’s sake, branding himself as hers. Thinking he would actually
leave her had been utter nonsense.

But for all the progress he’d made, there was
still one last vestige from his past that haunted him. A residue
that needed to be washed off his soul.

If her walking away instigated the cleansing
process—and she prayed it did—then the pain knifing her heart would
be worth it.

“What do you mean,
you
did this?” her
dad said.

“I walked away, Dad. I left him.” After the
last twenty-four hours of suffering, her aggravation began to
mount. All she wanted was to park on the couch in the family room,
turn on a game, hold a plateful of her mom’s homemade cookies in
her lap with a glass of cold milk for dunking nearby, and not think
for a few hours.

But her dad had other ideas. “Good. Mark
wasn’t good enough for you, any—”

“DAD, STOP! Just stop it!” Her hands curled
into fists, and she squeezed her eyes shut. “I still love him! I
still want to be with him! Don’t you understand?”

Confusion shrouded her dad’s face, and for a
few seconds he stared at her as if he weren’t sure who she was.
“Frankly, Karma, I don’t understand. If you love him, why did you
leave?”

“Because he’s got to work through this on his
own, Dad. Maybe if I leave him he’ll wake up and finally let go of
the past so he and I can have a future.” She’d never told her dad
about what had happened to Mark. About how he’d been left at the
altar. Her dad had never given her a chance. In her dad’s eyes,
Mark had become the bad guy the moment he saw him in her apartment
that first time nearly two years ago. After that, there had been no
convincing her dad that Mark was a decent, kindhearted man.

Maybe it was time to tell her parents about
the man she’d fallen in love with. Maybe now her dad would listen.
She needed him to listen. But more than anything, she needed his
support.

“Dad, I need you,” she said, feeling her
scratchy eyes well with tears again. She was like a rainstorm that
simply wouldn’t go away. Just when she thought the tears were over,
they started again. “I hate that we’ve become so estranged since
Thanksgiving. I miss spending time with you, watching games with
you, talking on the phone.”

He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet
as he glanced at the floor. “Me, too.” His voice broke, and he
pulled in a hard inhale through his nose.

“Can’t we just . . .” She
sighed as the weight of her emotions pulled down her shoulders.
“Dad, I just need to be here right now. Around you and Mom.
Someplace familiar and comfortable where I’m not alone.” She
implored him with her eyes. “And I want to tell you about him
without you thinking the worst. I want you to understand why I love
him so much.”

“Karma . . .”

“Please, Dad. Give him a chance.”

“I’ve been trying to, honey, but you just
left him. How am I supposed to respond when all I want is to see
you happy. And you’re not happy right now.”

She nodded stiffly. “I know, but it’s only
because . . .” She took a deep breath. “He’s
struggling with something that happened to him a long time ago,
Dad. And he’s been struggling with it for a while. I needed a
break, and he needed the kick in the ass. That’s why I left him.
That’s why I’m here. Because he needs to handle this once and for
all, and my being around wasn’t allowing him to do that.”

She, her mom, and her dad stood in a silent
triangle for several long moments, and then her dad sighed and
gestured toward the living room.

“Okay, honey. Let’s go have a seat and
talk.”

Her mom started for the kitchen. “I’ll make
us some hot cocoa.”

Cocoa made everything better, and if she was
going to spill her guts about Mark to her dad, Mom had better keep
a mainline of cocoa in production. This could be a long
afternoon.

As soon as she had a mug in her hand, she
started talking, and she didn’t stop until she’d explained
everything. Carol. What she’d done to him. Its effect on Mark, and
by extension, its effect on her. The rings, the necklace, the
commitment phobia. All of it.

By the time Karma finished relaying the
highly edited version of her and Mark’s story, two hours had
passed, and she’d gone through three cups of hot chocolate and a
short stack of Oreos.

“So sad about his past,” her mom said,
squeezing Karma’s hand. “Just awful.” She retrieved the empty mugs
from the coffee table then disappeared into the kitchen.

Karma turned toward her dad. “So, you see,
everything goes back to Carol. She really did a number on him, Dad.
It created this intense fear of weddings. He wants to get married,
but it’s like he’s terrified I’ll do what Carol did and not show
up.”

“I won’t let that happen,” her dad said,
surprising her.

“Huh?”

His cheeks filled with color, and he briefly
averted his gaze as he shifted in his chair. “I’m the father of the
bride, right? Doesn’t that mean it’s my job to make sure you get to
the church on time?”