Full Circle (22 page)

By spring she had grown large and clumsy and she tired easily. Lily spent less time at the Rectory, but made sure to be there for the twins’ birthday party at the end of March. Mrs. Stone prepared a special tea and everyone gave them presents. They were all home-made, but very sweet. Lily had found a lovely train set in a second hand shop. It was painted blue and red and ran on a little set of train tracks. The boys were thrilled. They were putting the train tracks together in the parlor as she headed home full of tea and scones.

Lily walked home imagining her baby playing with a train set and Nick sitting on the floor and helping him. For some reason she thought it was a Him. Lily had decided that she would like to name him Ian. She was sure that Nick would have no objections to naming the baby after his brother. She still thought of him frequently and wished that they had at least made it up before he died. “I miss you Ian,” she whispered to herself hoping that maybe he would hear her wherever he was.

By the end of April the weather was beautiful and Lily’s spirits began to lift. Who could be melancholy when the sun was shining and everything was in bloom? Lily had a little chest full of clothes for the baby. She had made most of them herself using some old blouses and curtains that her mother had in the attic. Her baby would be dressed in style. Lily couldn’t wait to give birth. She was tired of being pregnant and the thought of being alone in her body again seemed more and more appealing with each passing day. She couldn’t imagine how some women did this every year. She couldn’t get comfortable no matter what she did. By the time she found a comfortable position in bed, she had to get up to go to the loo and then come back and start all over.

When Lily’s water finally broke she was over the moon. She didn’t care about the pain to come. All she wanted was to get this baby out and finally see its little face and count its fingers and toes. She was assured that this was a very important ritual for new mothers. Her parents took her to the hospital and sat with her in her room until the nurse ushered them out. By this time Lily was getting a little nervous. The pain was becoming more severe and radiating into her back and she desperately wished Nick was there to hold her hand, but she knew they wouldn’t let him in anyway. She had to do this on her own. Lily’s labor continued all through the night. She was exhausted and short tempered. Her hair was plastered to her face and neck and she was terribly thirsty. She barely had a moment to rest before the next contraction would violently rock her body leaving her breathless and exhausted. She couldn’t believe that some women willingly did this more than once.

The grey light of dawn was just visible through the window when Lily gathered all her remaining strength and pushed as hard as she could. “One more push and you’re there, Lily,” the doctor said. Lily was so drained she didn’t think she could manage one more push, but she took a deep breath and pushed again. The baby finally slid out and she waited with baited breath until she heard its lusty wail. The doctor attended to her while the baby was cleaned by the nurse and Lily kept trying to see over her shoulder to where the nurse was wrapping the infant into a little bundle.

“
May I see him, please?” she asked. She had waited for this moment for so long. She couldn’t wait another second to see her son.

“
It’s a her, love,” said the nurse, handing her a little wrapped bundle. “A beautiful baby girl.” Lily was disappointed for about two seconds until she saw the little red, wrinkled face. She studied the baby for a moment before she carefully unwrapped the blanket and started counting. The doctor smiled at her indulgently. She was very familiar with this ritual.

Once she was back in her room Lily asked for two things. First, she wanted as big a breakfast as the hospital could manage and second she wanted to sleep. Everything else would come later. “What will you name her?” her mother asked as Lily started drifting off after stuffing herself on toast, jam and tea. “Olivia,” she muttered as she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Lily was desperate to go home, but she had to remain at the hospital for a week. “Lily, darling, don’t rush. Once you come home you will have to take care of the baby all the time. Try to get some rest and recuperate while she is in the nursery. This will be the only chance you will get,” advised Martha.

“
I know, Mum, but I hate hospitals. I just want to go home and be with my baby. Isn’t she the most precious baby you ever saw?” beamed Lily at her mother.

“
She certainly is. She looks just like you did when you were born, like a little old woman with peach fuzz on her head,” joked Martha.

“
Mother! She is beautiful!” cried Lily in shock.

At last they were released from the hospital and Lily proudly got into her father’s car holding the baby. She truly felt like an adult now. She was a mum. Oh, how she wished Nick was there to see his daughter. While Lily had been in hospital her parents took down the old cradle that used to be Lily’s. They cleaned it and washed the bedding and it stood polished and ready next to Lily’s bed. Lily sat down in an old rocking chair to nurse the baby. At first she found the sensation to be very strange, but then she got used to it and enjoyed the steady sucking of the little mouth. She closed her eyes and leaned back while absentmindedly caressing Livvy’s head.

She felt the baby release the nipple with an audible pop and grow heavier as she fell asleep, full and satisfied. Lily opened her eyes and almost dropped Livvy in shock. Nick was standing in the doorway watching them. He had a look of such tenderness on his face that Lily almost cried. He came over and got on his knees next to the chair, putting his arms around Lily and the sleeping baby and kissing her tenderly. “I heard she looks like a little, old woman, but I think she is rather cute. Looks like me, I think, except for that orange hair,” he whispered with a smile. “Her hair is not orange,” Lily said defensively. “It’s auburn and it’s beautiful.”

“
Of course, it’s beautiful. It’s just like yours. I am sorry I wasn’t there for the birth, Lil. I really tried.”

“
I know you did. She was a few days early. You would have been just in time had she waited. Impatient, just like her father,” giggled Lily. “How long can you stay?”

“
Only two days,” replied Nick sadly. He looked worn and there was a little silver at his temples.

“
Will it never end, Nicky? We’ve been at war for so long.”

“
I don’t know, Lil. There is no end in sight. One hears such terrible things about concentration camps in the East. Jews being rounded up for deportation. Homosexuals, artists, Gypsies all being arrested and sent to labor camps. Our old life before the war seems like a lovely dream that we had been rudely awakened from. I just hope you and Olivia will be safe here in Cornwall until this is all over,” he said sadly. “Do let’s not talk about this now. Let us enjoy the two days we have together and pretend that the world has not lost its mind and things are still civilized and ordered.”

Time had no mercy for the new parents. All too soon, it was time for Nick to go back and Lily had given him a moment alone with Livvy to say goodbye. Lily saw through the open door as Nick picked up the baby and removed her bonnet. He softly kissed the peach fuzz on her head and whispered something in her ear. He held her close for a moment before he put her back in the cradle and swiftly wiped away the tear that was sliding down his cheek. Then he walked out without looking back.

Lily was once again at the station saying goodbye. She stood on the platform as Nick picked up his kit bag and jumped on the departing train. Lily stood there until the train disappeared from view. “How many more times will we say goodbye until this bloody war is over?” thought Lily as she walked away from the station back to her parents’ house and Livvy.

“
Are you completely insane?” yelled Emma. “Have you forgotten so quickly what happened with Sergei? How can you even think of going away for a day with a person you’ve just met?”

“
Beck, I have to agree with Emma. This is crazy. You know nothing about him,” chimed in Rachel.

“
Guys, I know that you are both right, but I am still going. This feels completely different then it does with Sergei. This guy seems so decent.”

“
Seems! The key word is seems!” shrieked Emma. “You don’t even know him.”

“
It feels like I do. Anyway, I will leave you all the numbers and I will call you to let you know that I am all right,” promised Rebecca.

“
And if you are not? What are we supposed to do? Call the police and tell them you went off with some guy whose last name you don’t even know?” asked Rachel.

“
His last name is Brandon. James Brandon,” answered Rebecca testily. “Look, I am a big girl and I am going. I know that I probably shouldn’t, but I really want to see Cornwall and I would much rather do it with a local. I want to get a feel for the place. We’ll be back in the evening. It’s not so different if I just went out with him in London for the day. He could just as easily drag me off somewhere if that’s what he wanted. Anyway, I am going and that’s that!”

“
Well, don’t say we didn’t warn you,” said Emma as she walked out of the room. She usually needed to have the last word in an argument. Rachel opened up her mouth to say something, but Rebecca raised her hand to stop her.

“
Don’t! I am going.”

“
Ok, Beck. Ok. I just hope you know what you are doing.”

Rebecca quietly let herself out of the room, so as not to wake her sleeping friends. They still weren’t too happy with her for going off with Jamie and had given her the cold shoulder for most of the day on Tuesday. Becky knew they were just concerned for her safety, but she was still annoyed. She could have said the same thing after Emma stayed over Jonathan’s house a week after they met, but she didn’t. She trusted her judgment.

Becky walked out of the hotel. It was still dark outside and the air was cool and damp, smelling of wet leaves and ozone. Jamie was already waiting for her standing by the car with a cup of coffee in each hand. He kissed her warmly and held the door for her as she climbed in. The streets of London were still quiet at that time of the morning with people just beginning to rise and prepare for their day and within twenty minutes they left the city behind and she could see green pastures dotted with sheep in the early morning light. The sun was just coming up and the view was breathtaking. She turned to Jamie with a big smile. “Thank you for taking me. It’s so beautiful. I had always dreamed of driving along a country road in England. It always looks so romantic in the movies.”

“
It is. Everything we do is romantic because we are British,” Jamie answered laughing. “Just sit back and enjoy the ride. I am entirely at your service today, Milady,” said Jamie with a small bow. Rebecca vaguely remembered someone else saying that, but she couldn’t remember who it was and put it out of her mind. She loved car trips and just drank in the scenery as they sped towards Cornwall passing quaint villages and hamlets on the way. They got to Penzance just after 10am. “Would you like to take a ride through the city first? Then we could walk on a cliff and I can show you my little house.”

Rebecca stared out of the window at the passing streets. She knew that Penzance couldn’t possibly look the same as it did in her dreams, but she was still a little disappointed by all the evidence of changing times. Within three blocks they passed a Starbucks, McDonalds and several internet cafes. “What did you expect?” she asked herself angrily “sixty years have passed.” After a tour of the city, Jamie headed away from the center of town.

“
My mum packed us a picnic lunch. It’s a little chilly to eat it outside, but we can eat at the cottage and then I’ll take you up on the cliffs.” He drove up to a small house with a blue door and stopped the car. For a moment Becky was speechless. “No, this can’t be,” she thought. “It probably just looks the same. There are probably lots of cottages that look just like this one.” She looked at the number of the house and she knew she had been wrong. It was the same cottage. This was the cottage where Lily and Nick spent his leave in the summer of 1942.

“
Does this cottage belong to your parents?” asked Becky.

“
No. It belongs to me. I used to come to Penzance in the summer with my grandparents and I always felt drawn to this place. When I turned eighteen, my grandparents gave me some money and I instructed a real estate agent to keep an eye out for this place going up for sale. It belonged to an old gentleman, a doctor. His daughter put it up for sale after he died. I snapped it up before anyone else had a chance to even look at it. I haven’t changed a thing. I like it just the way it is,” said Jamie as he opened the front door.