Full Moon (4 page)

His pace increased, his motions growing harder, hungrier. Josie struggled to come down, fought for more. It was too much, not enough.

He stroked her clit once more, pressing harder on the tight nub, and she saw stars, screaming as she came again.

This time, Jake was with her. His voice was gruff as he tensed up with his release. “Fuck. God. Yeah. Jesus, Josie. So fucking good.”

She closed her eyes, too tired to smile, though his praise certainly made her happier than she’d been in a very long time.

Jake slowly withdrew, leaving the bed for only a moment to dispose of the condom. When he returned, he dropped down next to her. They were lying sideways on his bed, their legs hanging off the edge. They hadn’t even bothered to pull down the covers.

Josie allowed herself to lie still for several quiet moments as she tried to calm her racing heart, soften her breathing and revel in the beauty of the moment.

Then she forced herself to sit up.

Jake didn’t move, though he watched her motions as she rose from the bed and started to get dressed.

“Nothing I can say will convince you to stay, will it?”

She gave him a regretful look. “No. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Will you give me your phone number?”

His tone told her he already knew the answer to that question too. “Jake, I—”

“Forget it, Josie. I knew going in what you wanted. Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

She smiled, touched by his kind understanding.

He stood and started to dress as well.

“I can walk back by myself.”

He dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand and sat to pull on his shoes. “Nope, you’re not going out there alone. It’s dark and I promised.”

Grasping her hand, Jake walked Josie back to where she’d left her car. The bar had closed, but a few drunks hovered outside, talking and laughing loudly, waiting for rides and attempting to keep the party going a few minutes more.

Josie unlocked her car and turned to face him.

Jake cupped her cheeks, giving her a soft, sweet kiss. Her body—dammit—reacted to it, to him, too easily.

He pulled away first. “Thank you for a fun night, Josie.”

Those words—coming from him—felt wrong. She was the one who wanted to thank him. “I had a great time, Jake.”

“If you ever feel the need to fulfill another fantasy, you know where to find me.”

She laughed. Oh man. If only he knew what he was offering. Part of her wanted to take him up on it. Tell him about her list and see what he was doing on the next full moon.

Instead, she said, “Good night, Jake.”

He stepped away from the car and watched her pull out onto the street. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she caught sight of him waving once before stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning back for home.

It had been three weeks since Zoey proposed they all take a second chance at finding happiness, and it was the first time Josie felt a spark of hope that she might succeed.

Turning on the radio, she sang along with Janis Joplin, belting out “Me and Bobby McGee” at full volume.

Best. Night. Ever. She couldn’t wait to see what next month would bring.

Chapter Two

Josie’s Howl List—February

1. Sex with a stranger

2. Sex in public

Shelly appeared in her yard as Josie waved goodbye to Tommy. Miracle of miracles, Tony had shown up on time to pick up their son. Apparently she truly had sparked a bit of jealousy in her ex-husband when he saw her dressed up for her night out last month. Since then, he’d been arriving on time and feigning nonchalance while asking about her week, her plans. She’d shut him down every time, making obscure comments and leaving him to wonder what she was getting up to. She was sort of ashamed of the petty part of her that liked tweaking her ex.

Of course, sadly, since her full moon with Jake, all she’d really been up to was work, wine nights with the girls and building Lego models with Tommy. But Tony didn’t need to know that.

And while doing all those mundane things, she constantly relived her night with Jake. Twice, she thought she’d seen him on the street, but she’d been mistaken. She had even driven by Blue Moon on three occasions, somehow convincing herself she was taking a quicker route to the grocery store. Each time, she slowed down, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

Had she built him up in her mind? Made him seem hotter than he really was?

Did it matter?

She was still grinning when Shelly climbed the three stairs to her small front porch. “What’s that smile about?”

Josie laughed and led Shelly into the house. It was full-moon weekend and Shelly was coming along for the ride. Josie decided her friend needed a night out. Shelly had been working too many hours overtime at the bank. Apparently the powers that be had decided to revamp their entire software program and since Shelly was part of the IT department, a lot of the work was falling to her.

Besides, Josie was hoping for some moral support as she attempted to mark another item off her Howl List. She’d been very fortunate on the first go-round and she was praying that luck held. It was that good fortune that convinced her to return to Blue Moon even though she knew it was probably a bad idea.

Josie tried to tell herself she was simply returning because it was a nice place that catered to patrons around her age, but that reason was a lie. She wanted to see Jake again.

“New shirt?” Josie asked.

Shelly nodded. “Yep. Mine were starting to hang a bit. Thank God.”

“You look fantastic, by the way. How much weight have you lost?”

Shelly was working hard on her second-chance goal. She’d stuck to her diet and joined a local gym. The crazy woman had even signed up for a kickboxing class.

“I’m down another five. Brings me to twenty-two total. It’s a drop in the bucket in terms of how much I need to lose, but at least the scale’s going down, not up. Now, no more dodging. Why were you grinning like the Cheshire Cat when I got here?”

Josie gestured to the second floor. “Come upstairs with me while I finish doing my makeup and I’ll tell you.”

Shelly nodded and followed her up, then put the lid down on the toilet and made herself comfortable.

Josie picked up her mascara. “I don’t think Tony likes the idea of me going out.”

Shelly tilted her head in annoyance. “So what? He gave up the right to give a shit when he signed his name on those divorce papers.”

“Oh, I know that. It just feels good to get under his skin. I really think that arrogant idiot thought I was going to spend the rest of my life sitting in this townhouse, crying over him.”

Shelly picked up a tube of lipstick, testing the color on her hand. “Then good. I’m glad he’s irritated. Serves him right.”

Josie brushed some blush on her cheeks. She’d wanted to talk to Shelly since her last night out, but between Shelly’s long hours and the fact that Tommy was almost always within earshot, she hadn’t had a chance.

“I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.”

Shelly frowned. “I didn’t know you were feeling bad.”

Josie lifted one shoulder dismissively. “I don’t mean I was depressed or anything. I just mean I’m feeling more hopeful about my future.”

“What was wrong with your future?”

Shelly had always sort of idolized Josie. And Josie had never bothered to correct her friend’s mistaken assumptions because Shelly’s belief in her made her feel stronger than she really was.

Problem was, lately, she was tired of hiding, of pretending to be something she wasn’t.

“I didn’t leave Tony.”

Shelly stopped putting on the lipstick and stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“He left me.”

“But I thought you said after you found out he was having an affair, you filed for divorce.”

Josie looked down at the sink and forced herself to tell a truth she’d hidden from her friend for nearly two years. Shame had kept her quiet. “No. He confessed to the affair and moved out. And I actually fought with him, asked him to stay. I thought maybe we could work things out. I figured we’d go to counseling, I’d forgive him for the affair, he’d swear to never see that woman again and all would be well.”

“Why would you do that?”

Josie bit her lower lip. “Tommy. My parents divorced when I was young and I swore I’d never put my kid through that.”

“So you’d put up with a cheating husband?”

“No. Hell no. The affair would have had to stop. I couldn’t live with that, but…” Josie paused, trying to figure out how she could explain. Shelly’s parents were still married—happily married—after thirty years.

“But what?” Shelly prodded.

“It’s different when there’s a child involved. If it had just been me and Tony, and he’d cheated on me, I would have kicked his ass out in a New York minute. I would have tossed all his shit out on the lawn, changed the locks and never looked back. But I couldn’t do that because of Tommy.”

“Tommy loves his dad.”

Josie nodded. “So much. And Tony, for all his faults—and believe me, he has a ton—loves Tommy. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my son.”

“Even if it meant living with a philandering husband?”

Josie rubbed her forehead. “I hope to God I would have been strong enough to dump him if the affair continued.”

“You don’t think you would have?”

“I don’t think he only had one affair.”

Shelly frowned. “What?”

“There were other women. I never caught him and he never confessed as much, but…yeah, I’m sure there were others.”

“I’m sorry, but I still don’t think you would have put up with the cheating forever. You have too much self-respect for that.”

Josie glanced at her reflection in the mirror, then looked away, not liking the woman looking back at her. “I never got the chance to find out, did I? Tony packed up. He left us. Despite the fact I begged him to stay.”

Shelly stood up. “You are tough, Josie. I’m not sure what’s shaken you up lately, caused you to doubt yourself, but I hope you figure out the truth soon.”

“What truth?”

“That you’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”

Josie swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, touched by her friend’s love and loyalty. “I’m not sure why I told you all that. Or I guess I should say I don’t know why I didn’t tell you before.”

Shelly smiled. “No one likes to admit weakness. And I think it’s worse for you because you are so strong. You went against everything you believed in because you thought it was in Tommy’s best interest. You were willing to swallow your pride because of your love for your son. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. God, every child should be so lucky.”

Josie hugged Shelly, trying not to cry. While her friend’s words had smoothed some rough edges, Josie still couldn’t dismiss the idea that she’d been wrong. Even so, she said, “Thank you.”

Shelly pulled away first and pointed to the lipstick. “Does this look okay?”

“It looks great. Ready to go?” Josie asked.

Shelly nodded.

Josie was grateful for Shelly’s company. She was able to hold the nervousness she’d felt when they left her house at bay. Without Shelly in the car, she would have turned around and returned home, hating herself for being a coward.

“You still on for Thursday’s wine night? I think poor Zoey’s going to need a couple bottles all to herself.” Shelly said.

Josie nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it.” They talked about Zoey’s recent, unexpected breast cancer diagnosis as they drove to the bar. Then they came up with a list of ways they could help their friend as she went through chemo. Shelly helped Josie finish composing a poem for her friend—one she hoped would make Zoey laugh. God knew the woman could use some humor these days. By the time they reached their destination, Josie was ready for a drink.

“Blue Moon?” Shelly asked as Josie pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car. She was an idiot for coming back here, but she wanted to see Jake again. Wanted to convince herself that the first time was simply beginner’s luck and that he wasn’t as hot as she remembered. Maybe if she saw him one more time, she’d see it had been a fluke. She needed to stop fantasizing about him so she could move on to the next item on the list without comparing every future man to Jake.

“Yeah. Seems like the perfect place to howl.” After unloading all her baggage about Tony, Josie simply didn’t have any energy left to fill Shelly in on the particulars of her first full-moon adventure.

Shelly laughed. “I think you’re right.”

Rather than head to the bar, Josie walked to a table in a corner near the dance floor. Now that she was here, she was nervous about running into Jake again. They’d gotten a late start, so the place was already packed. She prayed the crowd would hide her until she got her nerve up to look for him.

A waitress came over and took their orders. Shelly asked for a margarita, while Josie opted for her usual bourbon and Diet Coke. They watched the people dancing, making funny observations about some of the outfits they saw. They were laughing so hard, Josie didn’t see Jake until he placed the drink in front of her.

“Hello,
stranger
,” he said, his joke not wasted on her.

She gave him a flirty smile. “Hey, yourself. How did you know I was here? The bar is crazy tonight.”

He pointed to her drink. “Bad habit I’ve picked up. Every time someone asks for this drink, I check to see if it’s you. Tonight I got lucky.”

Shelly cleared her throat.

“Oh, Jake, this is my friend, Shelly.” Josie gestured to him. “Jake owns the Blue Moon.”

Shelly shook Jake’s outstretched hand. “Nice to meet you. So how do you two know each other?”

Jake didn’t reply. Instead he waited for Josie to explain. Feeling bold, she said, “Jake was my first full moon.”

Shelly’s eyes widened, but Josie was more interested in Jake’s face. Confusion clouded his blue eyes.

“Full moon?” he asked.

She laughed and started to answer, but they were interrupted when another man approached the table. “Shelly?”

Shelly glanced up and blushed. “Lance. Hi.”

Josie recognized the name immediately. Lance was the kickboxing instructor. The unbelievably hot kickboxing instructor. Suddenly her friend’s newfound interest in the sport became clear.