Further Adventures (33 page)

“With him?” Nilo meant the Mexican a living insult.

“Be a man about it.”

Nilo swung the end of his shotgun into the car & waved it in the man’s face. “Boom!” He laughed out loud. The Mexican gent laughed too. Wayne just rolled his eyes.

We drove back by the Border Road & headed for the highway. “Where are we going?” I inquired.

“Where do you want to go?” replied Wayne.

“Home. Pecan Street.”

“Oh. Thought you wanted to go someplace else first.”

“Here’s O.K.” Nilo was looking out the back window when he said this.

We peeled off from the Road and I believe we stopped somewhere between Juarez and Azalea where there was no traffic. Wayne reached back over the seat. “Gimme that thing Nilo.”

Nilo said, “I’ll do it.”

“Right. You do it.”

I will say I did not get very teary I did not tremble I got Angry. How I let them drive me to my Doom before my time. I did not think of Dolores then nor I did not think of my apartment. I did not think of how I got there nor I did not think of why is he doing this to me. Then my Anger it Fled. This would be my Last Thought on Earth:

At least I know how The Story of My Life ends up!

Not like a Heart Attack sneaking up & taking me by Surprise—at the most important time of my Life I am not in the dark. (Which was not my ABSOLUTE Last Thought. To be honest it was
I wonder if it hurts very bad getting shot in the head by a shotgun
.) So I was on the brink of Life & Death for the second time in the same day which I am sure is some kind of a Record.

Then I was in the dark. “What’s that? What are you doing?”

“We’ll get back on the road real soon Ray,” Wayne said to calm me down.

“It’s just a blindfold,” Nilo cooed in my ear & yanked the knot very hard against the back of my head. “For your own benefit.”

“Sure it is.”

“Orders from on high,” Wayne said & hit the gas.

Look how it can be Normal & Decent to all appearances and Perversion & Lies indoors. John Newberry’s house has a kidney-shape asphalt driveway in front & a concrete porch by the front door & a white-painted rail around it. Like the house across the street also the houses on both sides of the bungalow type very boxy & square they put them up in the 1950s I will guess. I stood at the door & rang the doorbell like I was a Fuller Brush Salesman. Newberry answered me from inside I
should come right in & I found him in the kitchen. He had a frilly apron on & he waved a spatula. “I’m making breakfast. You want some coffee & a few pancakes? A couple of eggs?”

“I don’t think so.” My speech all ready to go about Amelia & Dolores why did they have to Suffer by his hands boiled down to this: “I feel like hell.”

“You
look
like hell,” he said very chipper.

“That’s how I feel.”

A egg juggler now a egg in each hand. “Sunny-side up? Scrambled? Poached?”

“One minute Amelia’s alive then the next minute she’s dead.” I raised my shaky Voice louder. “You know that?”

“Ssh!” His finger flew to his lips. “You want to take a shower or something?” he invited me & set plates on the table & a cereal bowl. “Why don’t you sit down before you fall on the floor Ray. Tell me what happened. What’s your version? That’s what I want to hear. Come on. Sit.” He arranged the chair for me.

I hid my dirty hands under the table not only dirt either there was dried Blood on my arms. “I’ve had a terrible couple of days.”

“I know.” Newberry cracked the eggs in the frying pan. “I’ll scramble them with a little butter. It’ll be easier on your stomach.” He stirred them around. “Nobody touched you did they?”

“Your gunsels ran me into a wire fence.” I raised my arms. “Does that count?”

He slid the pan off the stove & came over to me very concerned. “Hey you don’t want to get infected,” he said & turned my hand around to examine my Wounds. Also he examined the gold ring on my finger. “There’s some Bactine in the medicine cabinet.”

“Nilo tied a blindfold on me so tight it gave me a headache from the knot.”

“Nilo did?”

“On your orders.”

“I never told him to do that. That’s what you call initiative.” He turned my head by a very gentle touch & found the bump behind my ear. “I apologize. But besides this you’re O.K.?”

I shook his hand away. “It’s nothing compared to the rest.”

“I’m going to take care of you from here on,” Newberry told me & forked the eggs on my plate. He started to say further but he stopped short when he heard the water running in the bathroom. “Something we’ve got to get out of the way before we do anything else. What did you do with my letters?”

“I buried them. In the desert. In Mexico.”

“No you didn’t.”

“I think it was in Mexico.”

“No. I know you Ray. I think you brought them back with you. Can I ask you to stand up a minute?” He patted my pockets by the Professional Method & he found those letters in 5 Seconds flat. “Thanks. Sit. Eat your eggs.” He unfolded the yellow paper. “What I like about you the most Ray? You’re a bad liar. I’ve counted on your honesty. You couldn’t lie if your life depended on it. Am I right?”

“I didn’t get to practice as much as you.”

He read the letter on top then he shuffled it to the back. “Honesty’s pretty much a tangled web too.”

Then Dolores was standing in the doorway & we both choked up. She did not look at me but I saw the bags under her eyes which means either Crying or No Sleep bags are a dead giveaway of disturbance.

“Hi baby,” Newberry said to her. “Say good morning honey.”

“Good morning.”

“Bring Daddy the Bactine from the big bathroom. And some tissues. Go on.” She obeyed him immediate. “I love that little girl.”

“She deserves all the love she can get.”

When she came back Newberry crouched down & coiled his arm
around her waist & held her still. “Dolores do you know this man? Is he the man you saw with Mommy yesterday?”

Now she looked at me. “Hello darling,” I said. “You remember me don’t you?”

“You can say hello to Uncle Ray. Look how he hurt his arms. Help him with the Bactine so his cuts don’t get infected.”

Dolores squirted the antiseptic on a Kleenex she dabbed it very gentle on my scratches a real miniature Nurse taking care of me. Only I did not see any Emotion in her eyes or she did not want to show any to me. I do not think she knew what happened to her dear Mama & I say this was a Mercy for her.

“Eat your Rice Krispies,” Papa Bear said.

“I’ll take over with this.” I took the wet tissue & like a perfect little princess she sat at the table & ate her Breakfast.

“Tell Uncle Ray where you’re going today.”

“School,” Dolores said to her bowl.

“Which school?”

“Holyoak.”

“Mount Holyoak,” he helped her on this detail.

“Mount Holyoak.”

He recited the name again. “Mount Holyoak. Ever hear of it Ray?”

“Mount Holyoak?”

“Best private school in the state. The governor sends his kids there. It’s just in Santa Fe so I can visit her every week.” He covered her hand with his. “I’m coming from Albuquerque to see you every week O.K.?”

“Uh-huh.”

“She’s going to get a terrific education.” Newberry nodded. “Dolores honey it’s almost 8 o’clock. How long’s it take for you to get dressed for school?”

“A minute.” She ate another spoonful of snap-crackle.

“The bus comes at 10 after. I don’t want you to be late.”

“I didn’t finish my Rice Krispies.”

“That’s all right. Sister Bridget told me they make big lunches. Come on.” He took her spoon away. “Show Uncle Ray how pretty you look in your uniform.”

Dolores squeezed out of her chair & carried her bowl to the sink & ran some water in it I tell you I thought she was going to stop & curtsey to us before she left the room. Where is the lizard trainer I wanted to know!

Newberry pointed at my cold eggs. “You still working on that?”

“Can’t eat anymore.”

He cleared my plate away & laid a black briefcase on the table. “Got something for you.”

“Does it explode when I open it?”

“Funny.” Newberry snapped the latches. “Best one on the market. Samsonite or some sonofabitching thing. You can drop it off the Empire State Building and it won’t break.” He opened the lid & showed me. “This is your life.”

The manila F.B.I. File was the only thing in there. A inch thick as of now & my name on the tag on the front—GREEN, RAY a.k.a. PETER TREMAYNE then right on Page 1 all of my Vital Statistics to wit my Physical Description i.e. my height & weight also the colors of my eyes & hair (ha ha) besides my address & Driver’s License number & license plate on my dear departed car!

“You don’t have to read it here. Take it home. I’ve got another copy in my office.” He untied the strings of his apron & hung it very neat on a hook & he smoothed his tie. “The gist of it see Ray is…I put your name on the VICAP watch list.” He sipped at his black coffee & nibbled a crust of toast.

In the pages he put photos of Amelia including a few snapshots of us at that gas station. Also pictures of us at the Bluebird Motel I do not know how they took those maybe Wayne Feather sneaking around there with
a miniature camera. By a special Periscope or spy hole. I skim over those pages and a few flakes of Newberry’s conversation drift by me—

“Violent Criminal Apprehension Program…your strange behavior in the East 8th in Mason…old man who lives by himself…a loner…on Social Security…”

He has everything in there down to a word-by-word copy of what that know-it-all Dr. Barbara the Sigmund Freud of Radio Station WRBC said about me 3 Weeks ago. I turned the next page nor I could not believe my eyes
again
.

“Yeah that’s a transcript of a conversation you had with Albert Abercorn and his little girl Charmaine. The one you picked up in the street.” Newberry sat down at the table with me. “He’s strictly from the raincoat brigade. Or am I telling you anything you don’t know…”

“I never met him,” I said. “Is the girl all right?”

“Sure sure. She’s doing fine. Charmaine’s in Oregon with her mom. The important thing is she isn’t stuck with that slimeball in the trailer anymore.”

“That’s the important thing.” More surprises for me—newspaper clippings from the
Mason Examiner
also my Classified Ad. A report on me by a different Psychiatrist which I will bet John Newberry wrote this himself. Now if he can change my Deeds he can change my Words too he can make this Version come out the way he wants it to. He can exploit me when I am in my Grave. “You twisted all the facts!”

“Please—let us have no pissing & moaning at
this
late stage. What did I make up? Let’s face what is and go from there. You with me?”

I point out in the middle of the page. “What’s this?” I read it out loud: “His perceptions conform to a pattern common in the elderly. To them the world
isn’t as good or secure as it used to be
and
it isn’t ‘the world I grew up in
.’”

“Well,” Newberry asked me. “Is it?”

“No.”

“Told you I didn’t make it up.”

“According to this I’m a crazy person. A danger to the community.”

“Don’t get excited. It makes you look interesting. A good guy really—just a little warped.” Newberry dunked his toast in his coffee.

“This description isn’t me! Look what it says—
Suffers from the delusion that he is the only good man in a bad world
. What is that? Like I don’t know the difference between good & bad? Right & wrong? Facts & make-believe?”

“That’s a matter of opinion. I respect what you’re trying to do. For instance with that girl in Mason. Charmaine. Who else goes out of their way to help a stranger these days? You never see it. But you did something. Not what you
thought
you were doing but let’s skip over that.” Newberry stood up & patted my shoulder. “Everything just backfired on you. That’s all.”

“I’m not taking the blame for things you did.”

“
Things
you say. My things.
Things
were out of my control when Amelia got crazy. Afraid all the time. Somebody was going to come and take it away from her.
Somebody
,” he said to himself. “Me. Of all people. Anything happened it’s on her.”

I am disappointed by my behavior in this moment I did not argue firmer with Newberry. I said, “I blame you.”

“Take it easy there.”

“Who then? I’ve got
disordered thinking
. Amelia acted
unpredictable
so everything went wrong for you. Which makes you a living angel in the middle…”

“Did I say I’m perfect?” On the edge of Humble Pie—but no! “Who do you think
as a matter of fact
has been looking out for you from the minute you got messed up with her? It hasn’t exactly been easy keeping you alive all this time!” This flare-up came & went it was a lick of gas out of a stove & the quiet after was sharp too. Newberry lowered
his Voice at me. “You know how I spent most of last Thursday? Fishing your goddamn station wagon out of the Rio Bravo.”

“You got my car?” I did not hide my relief & joy.

“Standing in water up to my waist half the goddamn night so I could supervise the operation.”

“Sorry you got wet.”

“I wore a pair of waders. Anyway. It was going to be a surprise.”

“What hasn’t been.”

“Relax now. I want to conclude this business between us today. I’m sure this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to you today but trust me”—he tapped my Official File—“you’re protected from now on.”

Was I in Wonderland talking to the Mad Hatter? Words mean the exact opposite on the other side of the mirror! “It incriminates me! You didn’t make it for my comfort Newberry. It’s for yours. To use it against me anytime you want.”

“I don’t have to. Jesus! I don’t
want
to. As long as I know that you know I can.”

“This is beyond my belief.”

“It’s how things are. Forget about why this & why that. There are complications you can’t imagine. Other sides to this you can’t comprehend. By the way,” Newberry put on his coat & asked me very casual, “do you still have the gun?”