GABRIEL (The Innerworld Affairs Series, Book 4) (31 page)

They sat there fuming, each one's anger and frustration fueling the other's, placing blame yet knowing that neither had intentionally caused the strange phenomenon. Whatever quirk of fate and time had triggered their mating fevers had also orchestrated its climactic ending without any of the normal requirements being in place.

They were joined, physically, emotionally and mentally. Based on the evidence Gabriel had listed, it could be assumed that the joining was spiritual as well, which meant it was irreversible throughout eternity.

They had been cheated, their freedom of choice stolen, their futures altered in a way neither could imagine adjusting to.

Gabriel's rage was so painful, Shara threw up a protective mental wall between them. Surprisingly, it worked. After the first few seconds, she was able to keep their minds separated with minimal concentration.

"You're gone," Gabriel noted warily.

"Not really." She slowly lowered the partition and raised it again. "I have no idea how well I can hold it but I'll do my best." Though she could no longer hear his thoughts, his taut expression told her enough. "I know I haven't always been honest with you and you have good reason not to trust me. But I swear I did nothing to cause this."

He knew that but it didn't eliminate his urge to blame someone. He massaged the back of his neck and forced himself to calm down. "It's rather ironic, isn't it?"

"What?" Shara asked, wondering how he could comment on irony in such a seemingly hopeless situation.

He couldn't meet her eyes as he spoke. "For days, you've been trusting me with your life. Now I have to trust you with my mind. I suppose there's some justice in that but you'll have to excuse me if it takes a while to get used to the idea."

She bowed her head. She knew he was thinking that this might have been avoided if she hadn't been so stubborn about remaining in the past. But she also knew that he was a man who eventually accepted what couldn't be changed and found a way to work around the problem. Though he wouldn't throw it up to her forever, he would resent her for the rest of his life. And she could never let down the wall without feeling that resentment.

"There is one positive note," Gabriel said, standing up. "The question of how we were going to cope with the fever during the next leg of this journey has just been answered."

Shara watched him pull a jumper out of his satchel. "You mean you're still willing to go on with me?" She wasn't sure she felt like continuing herself.

As he dressed and put Beauty and his paralyzer into his jumper, he said, "Roll up the pouch, will you? Of course we're going on. But don't get the idea you've changed my thinking about Khameira's ancestor. I stand by my opinion that history shouldn't be altered. It's just that while our minds were together, I felt how important it was for you to verify your heritage. We're going to do that before we return."

He paused and narrowed his eyes at her. "Then again, my jammer no longer keeps you out of my mind, does it? You could probably convince me that I changed my mind on my own."

Shara couldn't believe he thought so little of her. "I won't take advantage of you, Gabriel. I promise." She could see he wasn't reassured and an idea came to her. "A moment ago you were able to tell immediately that I was dividing our thoughts."

"Yes?"

"Once my parents were joined, my father's mental abilities were passed on to her. If we're truly joined, anytime I let the wall down, you'll feel it. You might even acquire some of my skills. If you want them, I mean."

"I don't really know what I want right now," he said, his voice still tightly controlled. "You'd better get dressed and take out the food you brought from the lodge."

"I'm not hungry," she replied in a flat voice as she handed him the pouch. At the moment she didn't care if she ever ate again, or got dressed, or anything else.

"Yes, you are. I felt it. We'll have a quick snack to replace the calories lost then you'll program the tempometer. The sun's up and we promised to be out of here by now."

Within an hour they had made the time-hop into the future and were standing in the vicinity of where they had been a few days before, but instead of being inside a ship, they were in the busy transportation hangar. Not far from where they'd appeared was a silver ship that resembled a flying pterodactyl. It was an older model than the one on which they had traveled to Norona. A number of people seemed to be waiting for the doors to open, which, luckily, along with the general noise, kept them from noticing Shara and Gabriel's appearance.

The doors opened and people started descending the ramp to waiting friends and family.

"Dear heavens!" Shara exclaimed, grabbing Gabriel's arm. "Look who that is!"

Standing in the doorway were Shara's parents, Romulus and Aster. Before panic set in, though, Shara realized they looked different...
younger...
several decades younger.

Aster looked terribly nervous. Romulus said something to her and she gave him a hesitant smile. As they came down the ramp, Romulus waved at someone below. Shara couldn't resist taking a few steps closer as a woman exclaimed "Rom!" and walked into his open arms.

"You're staring," Gabriel whispered to Shara.

"But that's my parents and grandparents. Don't worry, they won't recognize me. I wasn't even born yet. Listen."

Romulus kissed his mother's cheek and hugged his father. The two men looked so much alike, it was uncanny. Rom stepped back and put an arm around Aster's waist in a clearly possessive manner. "Mother, Father, this is Aster Mackenzie. Aster, Yulan and Marcus."

"They're meeting for the first time," Shara explained. "That means it's about forty years ago and tomorrow they'll be presenting their case to the Ruling Tribunal. The next day they'll be granted special permission to join, in spite of the law forbidding a mixed joining. I programmed the tempometer for a later date but I can see how we would get pulled into this time. It was a landmark decision." Noticing the way her parents looked at each other, she couldn't help but add, "It was also very romantic."

Shara knew her parents loved each other but she'd never given it much thought. Seeing them like this, prepared to defy the most powerful authority in the Confederation to be together, made her own heart swell with emotion. They announced their love with every look, every touch. They were meant to be joined for all time.

Not like her and Gabriel. She had never heard of an accidental joining, but then she didn't know of anyone ever making a successful time-hop either. As she watched her parents and grandparents walk away, her heart was weighted with despair.

She would never know the joy of finding her true soulmate as her mother had. There would be no romantic courtship or day-long preparation for the formal joining ceremony. She would never know the beautiful oneness of sharing her life with a man who loved her above all else.

Gabriel didn't need to be in Shara's head to see what she was feeling. Sadness emanated from every pore in her body. She had told him days ago of her romantic dreams of finding her true soulmate. She had expected it to happen the same way it had for her mother. Instead, she got him.

Not that he wasn't a good man. He imagined she could have wound up with someone worse than him. It wasn't that she was a poor choice for a mate either. She had many wonderful traits. He just didn't want a mate at all. And she knew it. Her first reaction to finding themselves joined was numb shock. She'd put up the wall before she got over it. His reaction had been more spontaneous. He was furious.

Now he realized how cheated she must be feeling as well and his misdirected anger had undoubtedly made it worse.

But what could either of them do? Pray for a miracle? Hope that everything returned to normal when they finally got back into their own time? Risk a paradox by trying to go back and warning themselves not to go?

Make the best of the situation. That was the reasonable path. But it wasn't much to look forward to for the rest of their lives.

Arranging passage to Innerworld was relatively easy. The same mail carrier Romulus and Aster had arrived on was departing again in three hours. Shara had counted on the Noronian code of honesty working in her favor. Since the average person never expected to be deceived by another Noronian, the travel attendant didn't examine their visas too closely. They booked the only available cabin in Gabriel's name so that hers wouldn't come up in any records to raise questions. She didn't want to take the chance of someone noting the fact that Shara
Locke
was leaving on the same ship Romulus
Locke
had come in on.

Rather than taking one week as it did for their flight to Norona, their return would take twice as long, since the stardrive's efficiency wasn't improved until twenty-some years in the future. Neither of them said it aloud but they were both wondering how they were going to get through the next two weeks in such close quarters with relatively few distractions.

Gabriel figured he could spend the time organizing the notes and recordings he'd made thus far.

Shara intended to use the time to figure out how to program the tempometer for more accuracy.

They were reasonable people. They would manage somehow.

As it turned out, the ship offered a number of distractions, including an exercise room with sauna and whirlpool, a gaming lounge, a movie theater and a library. The cabin to which they were assigned belonged to a ship's officer who was remaining on Norona. It was furnished with a large bed, a roomy sanitation cell and a general-service supply station and recycling center from which they could order a wide range of food and clothing. At least they would be
physically
comfortable.

They managed to stay occupied separately throughout the first day and took their meals in the dining room with the crew and a few other passengers on board. Regardless of how much they wished to put it off however, the time came for them to retire to their cabin... together.

From across the lounge, Gabriel watched Shara try to stifle a yawn for the third time in a matter of minutes. Throughout dinner, he noticed how she made an effort to socialize with the other four men and women at their table. She smiled and laughed when appropriate but he could see she was worn out. He kept telling himself she was a grown woman who didn't need him to remind her when it was time to go to bed.

When he was invited to play a card game with some of the crew, he accepted but his gaze kept wandering over to where she continued to chat with the group from dinner. Gradually, one after another said good night, leaving her with a young steward who was too handsome for his own good. That one didn't seem to notice how her eyelids were drooping or how many times she'd yawned. In fact, his gaze seemed to be glued to her breasts throughout their conversation.

The moment the card game was over, Gabriel excused himself and went to her side. Putting his arm around her, he smiled at the steward. "I hope you'll forgive me for stealing my lovely
mate
away but it's been a very long day for us."

"Of course," the man said, smiling back then nodding to Shara. "We can visit again tomorrow night."

"Don't count on it," Gabriel said under his breath as he led Shara out of the lounge.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Instead of answering, he had a question for her. "Why didn't you tell him I was your mate?"

Shara was confused by his annoyed tone. "We aren't exactly celebrating the fact. Besides, how do you know I didn't tell him?"

Gabriel snorted. "The man was looking at you like I look at a bag of Caresses. He obviously had no idea you were already taken."

"Already what?"
They reached their cabin and he motioned for her to enter ahead of him. She gave him a moment to retract his remark and when he didn't, she turned on him with her hands fisted on her hips. "You can't have it both ways, Gabriel. You can't wish me out of your life and also be jealous of every man I talk to."

He opened his mouth to protest and she cut him off. "Never mind. I don't even want to discuss it right now. We're both extremely tired and our emotions are still in an uproar. I just want to take a shower and go to sleep." She ordered towels and a conservative nightgown from the supply station and stepped into the sanitation cell.

When she came out wearing the long, loose sack, she ignored the face he made at it and got right into bed. Settling close to the wall with her back to him, she was determined to be asleep before he finished his shower. She felt good about one thing. The fever had completely left her system and her cool, rational self was back in control.

Gabriel had assumed that once the fever was gone, his normal behavior would return. But jealousy had never been part of his normal behavior. And why had it bothered him to see Shara dressed in that awful nightgown? She had a right to wear whatever she felt comfortable in. It was just that he had hoped...

His body responded to his hope as if it had a chance to be satisfied. That was strange. Excessive lust had never been part of his normal behavior either. Perhaps some of the fever's symptoms were going to take a while to dissipate.

As he was drying off, he felt Shara's mental partition weaken. She had been right. He'd recognized it instantly. What was she up to? He remained in the cell and waited to see, fairly assured now that she could do nothing without his being aware of it. At first he only had a glimpse into her mind but the dividing wall continued to crumble and he soon had a completely unobstructed view. His childhood experience was sufficient to let him know her mind was at rest.