Gamer Girl (24 page)

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now." She
stroked my hair. "I want to be a good mother to you guys."

"You are,
Mom," I said. And I meant it. "I'm proud of you."

"I don't
want you to blame your father either," she added sternly.
"That's part of the reason I haven't really talked about this to
you guys. He's a good man in many ways and he tries really hard. He
and I are just two different people and our lives are taking two
separate paths. But that has nothing to do with his loving you and
Emily. He adores the two of you. Even if he can be a schmuck at
times."

I laughed at
the last bit. "I know. I don't. . . blame him. I just. . . well,
I wish things were different, you know?"

"Right.
Well, I certainly can understand that. It's not how I wanted things
either. But unfortunately life doesn't always deal out
happily-ever-afters--at least not in the way you're expecting."

I thought about
Chad. The contest. "Right," I said.

"But you
have to take control of your destiny. And sometimes that's not easy."
She reached up and brushed a strand of hair from my eyes. "Okay,
I spilled my guts," she said with a small smile. "Your
turn."

"All
right, fine. I was going to enter this contest," I explained,
trying not to get all choked up again. "Design a manga and maybe
get it published. The prize money would have been enough to cover
tuition at Boston Academy." I sighed. "But now I'm left
with nothing."

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I explained
what had happened with my drawings. About Billy and Chad, Lucy and
Chelsea. Everything except the online romance I'd shared with Sir
Leo/Chad. That was still too painful to admit aloud and Mom would
probably just give me some lecture about playing too many video
games, just like my father.

"Oh,
honey, I'm so sorry," Mom said, sympathy clouding her eyes. "Do
you want me to call the principal? Those kids should be punished.
They shouldn't get away with something like that."

"No, thank
you." I shook my head. "That'll just make them hate me
more."

"I know,
but . . ." Mom started. "Maybe you can at least go to the
judges on Sunday and see if they'll give you an extension or
something."

"Yeah,
right," I said, looking glumly at the flyer.

"Seriously,
Maddy. Think about it. I mean, it can't hurt, right? I mean, if you
explained what happened, maybe they'd at least give you some
feedback, even if you couldn't win the actual contest."

"Maybe ...
I don't know." The last thing I wanted to do was explain to my
manga hero Svetlana what a loser I was.

"Well,
it's your choice. But remember what I said about taking control of
your destiny." Mom rose from the bed and headed out of the room.
She stopped at the door. "If you can learn that now, it'll save
you a lot of pain and trouble down the road."

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"Thanks,
Mom," I said, tossing her a half smile. "I love you."

"I love
you, too. And Maddy?" "Yeah?"

"I'm proud
of you."

And all of a
sudden I knew exactly what I had to do.

239

CHAPTER 23

THAT'S what led
me to be sitting on a splintery wooden bench in the Boston Public
Library Sunday night, along with dozens of other kids, waiting for
their turn to face the judges. Some chatted in low whispers, others
giggled to one another in nervous anticipation. Still others stared
at the ground, eyes wide, faces pale, fingers trembling as they
pressed their portfolios close to their chests.

I wouldn't have
been frightened if I'd had my manga still. I believed in my story and
art and would have faced the judges with confidence, knowing that
Gamer Girl
was sure to impress them. If nothing else, I'd
learned to believe in myself and my abilities.

But tonight all
the self-confidence in the world wasn't going to cut it. I had no
contest entry. Just a few scrap drawings I'd managed to salvage after
the attack. The judges would probably laugh in my face and send me on
my way empty-handed and defeated.

But I had to
take that risk. I had to try. As Mom had said,

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I needed to
take control of my own destiny. And as Ms. Reilly had said, I
couldn't let
them
win.

Besides, I
reminded myself, I would at the very least get to see some of my
heroes tonight. Svetlana was judging and I was dying to meet her and
tell her how much I loved
Drama-con.
Maybe get her to sign my
copy of her book. That would make the trip to Boston worth it, in and
of itself.

Suddenly,
without warning, the door burst open and the biting wind whooshed
through the hall, scattering papers and sending kids scrambling for
their artwork. I looked over, wondering who had arrived so late and
caused such a disturbance. My eyes fell on a lone figure, silhouetted
in the doorway, intently scanning the room.

It was a figure
I'd know anywhere.

My heart raced
and my stomach twisted in Boy Scout-strength knots as I tried to
shield myself behind the person next to me.

Why was he
here? Hadn't he done enough already?

But the girl I
ducked behind was too short to hide me. And a moment later I heard
him call out my name.

"Maddy, I
have to talk to you," he said.

But I wasn't
interested in talking. Not to him. Not after his betrayal. Jumping up
from the bench, I ran down the hall, ignoring the protests from the
others that I was cutting in line. I reached the end of the hall and
turned left, then right, then left again. My only thought--to get
away from him.

"Maddy!"
I heard him call. "Wait up!"

I took another
turn and found myself at a dead end. I was

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trapped with no
way to escape. His footsteps echoed on the stone floor as he
approached. He was breathing hard from the chase.

"Maddy . .
." He paused, then, in a softer voice. "Allora . . ."

Drawing in a
deep breath, I forced myself to turn around slowly. To face him with
bravery I didn't feel.

"Well,
well, Sir Leo," I greeted in my coldest voice. "We meet at
last."

Chad Murray
blushed deep red, then, to my surprise, got down on one knee and
bowed before me. "M'lady," he greeted, faking an English
accent as I'd heard him do onstage. "I have searched for thee,
far and wide. I am so lucky to have found you."

It seemed
cornier in real life, somehow. But at the same time, kind of sweet.
My heart ached as I looked down at him. Why was he doing this? Making
it harder. It wasn't fair.

I forced myself
to remain cold and aloof. I didn't want him to see me cry. "How
dare you come here," I rebuked him, folding my arms across my
chest. "Haven't you done enough?"

"No. I
need you to listen to me."

"You've
said enough online."

He scrambled to
his feet. "I said nothing online."

"Yeah,
right." I snorted. "Selective memory loss? Well, let me
remind you, then. You called me a witch, a skank. A freak. All the
things Billy is always saying."

He nodded
eagerly. "Exactly. All the things Billy says.

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Maddy, think
about it. Have I
ever
called you one of those names?"

"Um, well,
not to my face," I admitted. "But that doesn't mean--"

"Look,
Maddy," he continued, in a rushed voice. "Billy came over
my house on Thursday night. He said he wanted to apologize and stuff.
So I invited him in and we went up to my room to talk. I left him
alone for a few minutes when my dad needed me to take out the trash.
I forgot I'd been logged into Fields of Fantasy. Billy found the game
and started messing with my character, thinking he was being funny.
You IMed
him,
not me." He caught my eyes with his own
pleading ones. "Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"But . . .
but ..." I stammered. Could he be telling the truth? Could it
really have been Billy saying those horrible things to me? Could I
have been wishing death and dismemberment on the wrong Hater? It
seemed impossible, yet in another way it made perfect sense.

Chad reached
over and grabbed my hands in his, squeezing them in a way that made
my butterflies flutter through my stomach, against my better
judgment. "You've got to believe me," he said, looking
upset and tortured. "I didn't know. After Billy left Thursday
night, I went online looking for you. But you weren't there. And the
next day at school I saw those pictures . . . your manga. Those
scenes of Sir Leo and Allora--and realized the truth. I was such an
idiot not to have figured it out sooner." He shook his head.

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"Well, I
tried not to give a lot away," I grudgingly gave him.

"Then I
heard Lucy and Chelsea and Billy laughing about what they'd done.
Ugh! I was so mad. I mean, how could they do that? Destroy something
you worked so hard on without even a second thought. I totally went
off on them. Someone had to, and I've stood around way too long
letting them get away with this crap. I realized it was time to take
a stand for once in my life."

I raised an
eyebrow. "Really? You told them off?"

"Yes,"
Chad said with a nod. "And then I reported them to the
principal. The three of them got suspended." He sighed. "If
only I'd done something earlier, instead of standing back like a
coward. Then you'd still have your drawings." He squeezed his
hands into fists. "I'm so sorry, Maddy."

I hesitated. I
did want to forgive him. I did. In fact, at that very moment I wanted
nothing more than to throw myself into his arms and hug him to death.
But at the same time, I was scared. What if this was all some sort of
setup? A trick? I couldn't bear to let myself buy his story and end
up being burned all over again.

"Why
should I believe you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

"Because
of this." Chad reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a
bound book. My eyes widened as I saw the cover.
Gamer Girl.
It
was my manga. The cover page I'd painted still intact.

"What the
. . . ?" I questioned, taking the book in my

244

hands. I opened
it with shaking fingers. "How did you .. . ?"

I gasped at
what I saw inside. My story. My words. Just as I'd written them. But
while some of the sketches were mine, others had been altered. Drawn
by different hands. Each page illustrated in its own style, all
coming together to tell the story of Allora and Sir Leo that I'd
created.

It was the most
beautiful thing I'd ever seen in all my life.

I looked up at
Chad, overwhelmed. "I don't understand," I said, no longer
caring that my voice was choked and confused.

He smiled,
looking proud. "I blackmailed Lucy into giving me back the rest
of the drawings--the ones she hadn't messed with. Then I went around
school and collected the others. I had Ms. Reilly call an emergency
meeting of the manga club and I explained what happened to everyone.
We divided up the pages between us and everyone went home and worked
all weekend to re-create your book. Then today I brought it to
Kinko's and had it copied and bound." He paused, then added, "I
checked the entry rules. It's perfectly okay to have more than one
artist contribute to the book. And at the end of the day,
Gamer
Girl
is still your story. You can enter it and win the
publication you deserve."

"You guys
fixed my book?" I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks. "You
did this for me?"

"Of
course, silly," Chad replied, reaching over to touch me on the
shoulder. "You're not alone, you know. You have many, many
people who care about you." He gestured behind him. "They're
all waiting for you outside. Blackie, Sarah, Ed,

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David, Jessie,
Amy, Matt. The whole club took a bus to Boston to cheer you on.
You're the only one here with your own fan club." He grinned.

My heart caught
in my throat. I stared down at the manga entry. "It's
beautiful," I whispered. "Better than I could have even
imagined it." I looked up at Chad. At Sir Leo. My virtual knight
in shining armor come to life in the most amazing way possible.
"Thank you," I murmured, though the words seemed so
inadequate, given the circumstances. "I don't know how to
even--"

He pressed a
hand to my mouth, shushing me. "My lady dost protest too much,"
he murmured, lapsing back into Sir Leo speech. Then he reached out
and took my hand in his own, stroking the back of my palm with soft
fingers. A chill tripped down my spine at his touch. Reality was even
more delicious than I'd imagined it would be.

I smiled at
him, finally letting go of the hate and suspicion I'd held on to for
so long. For the first time in a long time I felt I could trust
someone. Completely.

Even if I
didn't place in the contest, I'd won. I'd won in more ways than I
could even count. And the Haters had lost. From now on, they could do
their worst--it didn't matter. They had no power over me. Just like
my heroine, I was a real gamer girl now. And that made me a winner.

I had friends.
I had family. I had Chad Murray, aka Sir Leo.

"Are you
disappointed Allora turned out to be me?" I asked hesitantly,
having to get that one last thing out on the table.

246

"Are you
kidding?" Chad asked incredulously, disbelief clear on his
beautiful face. "I always thought you were so cool. Well, except
maybe that first day in the unicorn sweatshirt." His eyes danced
merrily, letting me know he was just teasing.

"I've
always kind of had a crush on you, too," I admitted. "I was
so torn between liking Sir Leo and liking you. It's crazy that you
turned out to be the same guy. Or maybe not so crazy."