Her Officer and Gentleman
Read Her Officer and Gentleman Online
Authors: Karen Hawkins
Her
O
FFICER
And
G
ENTLEMAN
For Jim and Beth Hobart,
a fairy tale among us.
Congratulations on your marriage!
Love like yours inspires writers like me.
Thank you for providing such a lovely muse!
12/10/2005
It all started with Lady Findercombe’s rather impressive bosom.
Massingale House was unlike other ancient houses in Devonshire; it…
A mere half hour earlier the front door of the…
Hours later, Christian returned home quite content with the evening’s…
“Just look at this one!” Beth twirled so that her…
As Christian cantered toward the park, he caught sight of…
The trouble with sleeping was that one had no control…
Beth didn’t have time to think. The kiss was so…
Beatrice set down her cup of tea, the click of…
“Oh no,” Beatrice muttered. “I think she’s going to sing…
Christian walked into his house to find the front hallway…
Three days later, Jameson motioned for the footman to lower…
Christian opened his mouth to respond, but couldn’t. Of course…
“What are you doing?”
Grandfather’s cane tapped closer to the door, his irascible voice…
“Christian?”
Beth paused at the edge of the clearing. The old…
“You requested more brandy, my lord?”
Good manners do not necessarily prove good breeding. Oddly enough, this is true of both gentlemen and horses.
A Compleat Guide for
Being a Most Proper Butler
by Richard Robert Reeves
I
t all started with Lady Findercombe’s rather impressive bosom.
Born of rather common parents and less than passable beauty, Miss Lucilla Trent was delighted when, at the tender age of sixteen, she developed what can only be described as “a woman’s figure.”
Lucilla, never a romantic sort, was overjoyed when her womanly figure caught old Lord Findercombe’s rather jaundiced eye. The jaded bachelor was entranced enough to toss caution to the winds and beg for Lucilla’s hand in marriage without regard for either her lack of dowry or the fact that
her left eye had a rather disturbing tendency to wander.
Naturally, Mr. and Mrs. Trent were enthused. Though Lucilla found Lord Findercombe both old and dull, he was well connected, was invited everywhere, and was willing to set her up with an indulgent amount of pin money. They were, many said, a perfect match.
Once married, Lord Findercombe bestowed a wealth of heavy decorative brooches and necklaces on his wife that drew attention to her finest features. The combination of bountiful bosom and jaunty jewels soon became an accepted sight in society.
All was well and good until the night of the Hearsts’ Grand Ball. The ball was held every year two weeks prior to the beginning of the season. Located only a half day’s ride from town, the event was a stopping place for all the best of the best on their annual move to their London town houses.
It had become something of a tradition; the large sitting rooms and the impressive ballroom crowded to the fullest. Every year, Lady Hearst flitted from guest to guest, gathering and passing on gossip like a bee pollinating a colorful garden.
Normally, the Hearsts’ Grand Ball was held up as an example of a well-thought-out and unique entertainment, a fact that delighted Lady Hearst no small amount. However, this year things were not going as planned. Within an hour of beginning, the ball was, in fact, in dire danger of falling apart.
The wonderful orchestra Lady Hearst had hired had come down with the ague. At the last minute, she’d been forced to replace them with a smallish local quartet, which was hardly the thing for a large, crowded ballroom. Then she discovered that the long sheers she’d ordered draped around the ballroom to add an air of gaiety had an odd smell—rather musty and barn-like—a fact she did not discover until too late to order their removal. But the worst disaster was the ices.
A spate of unusually mild weather had caused the front hallway to be far warmer than usual, and all the lovely ices she’d ordered specially from London had begun to melt before the first guest had arrived. She’d been so excited about those ices, too. They had been shaped to look like Admiral Nelson on board the
Victory
to commemorate the glorious Battle of Trafalgar, a topic much on the minds and tongues of the ton.
As the ices melted, hundreds of small Admiral Nelsons began to shrink. Worse, his left arm, extended and holding a sword to the throat of a panicked Frenchman, fell off completely and landed on the upturned face of his vanquished foe, giving the entire scene a rather cannibalistic air.
The real Admiral Nelson had indeed lost an arm in battle, and Lady Hearst feared her guests would think her insensitive or, worse, unpatriotic. Her fears were quite justified when she caught not one but three spiteful women whispering just such a thing to one another during the evening.
All in all, the ball was filled, which made it ac
ceptable, but the rooms languished with yawns and desultory small talk. The guests were bored, which was the worst thing that could happen to a society hostess, even over the advent of a fire or a fatality of some sort. At least
that
would have been interesting.
Into this listless event came the noisy entrance of Lord and Lady Findercombe. It was well past midnight, and Lady Hearst had long since abandoned her post by the door, but at the suddenly animated bustle, she and her husband hurried to see who had just arrived and in such an excitable state. Lady Hearst reached the entryway first and found the Findercombes standing amid a rapidly growing crowd.
“We,” Lord Findercombe said, his voice trembling in outrage, “were robbed!”
In a flash, the ennui that had held the company at bay for the past four hours disappeared.
“Good God,” said Lord Hearst over the noise of the now-buzzing crowd. “Lord Findercombe, how did this come to happen?”
His Lordship turned to his wife. “Lucilla, show them!”
Lucilla untied the bow at her neck, tossed open her cloak, and exposed her low-cut gown. Her magnificent décolletage was framed for viewing, the object of all attention.
For a moment, the busy hum of voices abated.
Lady Hearst’s cheeks heated, while a rather inebriated gentleman by the door leaned forward and squinted. After a moment, he said, “They look just fine to me! Both of ’em!”
A wave of laughter arose from the crowd.
Lord Findercombe glared at the young buck. “Not her bosom, you fool! Her jewels! Gone, all of them! A highwayman stopped our carriage and stole everything!”
“You don’t say!” Lord Hearst exclaimed.
“Yes, and the ruffian had the audacity to tell Lucilla that she might keep one of her brooches did she give him a kiss!”
Lady Hearst gazed anxiously at Lucilla. But the younger lady did not appear at all outraged. A faint, very secretive smile touched her lips. For a moment, Lucilla’s rather plain features assumed a very attractive and somewhat sensual look.
The gathering swarmed with excited whispers. More people tried to crowd into the narrow entryway, many craning their necks to see who was speaking. Lady Hearst could have burst with pleasure. Every single person in the ballroom must now be glad he’d been invited. Nothing could have been more wonderful.
She bustled forward and put an arm through Lucilla’s. “Oh, you poor child! Whatever did you do?”
“Do?” Lucilla’s smile never wavered. She slowly lifted her left hand. There, in the center, rested a huge emerald brooch.
Lady Hearst burst into laughter and hugged Lucilla. “Oh, you naughty puss! A kiss for a brooch!”
Lucilla looked at the brooch, a sense of wonder in her eyes. “I have never seen such a highwayman. His voice”—Lucilla closed her eyes a moment, the smile still on her lips—“so smooth,
like silk. And deep. I have never heard such a voice. And he was so cultured, so handsome, so polite—”
“My dear!” Lady Hearst exclaimed. “You were held up by none other than Gentleman James!”
Lucilla opened her eyes wide. “Who?”
“Gentleman James—or Gentleman Jack, as some call him—is our local ruffian. He holds up only the plumpest pockets.”
“Gentleman James?” cooed a lady who was standing nearby, her eyes wide. “Is he a
bad
man?”
“I don’t believe so,” Lady Hearst said. “He seems quite civilized and he has never harmed a soul.”
“That’s true,” Lord Hearst agreed. “They say he’s the devil with a rapier and a demmed fine shot, too.”
Lord Findercombe fisted his hands and said rather enigmatically, “Ha!”
“The Gentleman has the most impeccable manners,” Lady Hearst continued, ignoring Lord Findercombe’s outburst. “Some think he may be the illegitimate son of a nobleman.”
“Whatever he is or isn’t,” Lord Findercombe fumed, “the lout deserves to swing from the end of a noose!”
“Not an easy trick, that,” Lord Hearst said bluffly. “No one has ever caught him, try as they might. He comes, he parlays, and then he disappears like a puff of smoke.”
“I hear he is tall,” Lady Hearst said. “Very tall, with black hair and—”
“Oh no,” Lucilla said. She flushed, then glanced
at her husband from under her lashes. “The thief was not tall. I did, however, get a glimpse of his eyes. They were as blue as—”
“Lucilla!”
Everyone turned to an apparently shocked Lord Findercombe. “He was indeed tall! Quite tall! And his eyes were gr—”
“Nonsense. Gentleman Jack was of short stature and his eyes were blue. My lord, you have had too much to drink.”
Lord Findercombe’s mouth opened, his eyes bulging wildly.
“You heard me,” Lucilla said stoutly. “You were drunk. You had two glasses of scotch before we left the house. Then, in the coach, you were sipping from your flask the entire way.”
Everyone looked at Lord Findercombe, who flushed. “I am not drunk and you know it!”
Her Ladyship merely raised her brows. Those watching wondered if perhaps Lord Findercombe’s outraged reaction was fueled by brandy.
Lord Findercombe seemed quite aware of this. “You, madam, have a lot to explain yourself!”
Lucilla’s lips thinned. “Just what do you mean by
that
?”
“What I mean,” Lord Findercombe snapped, “is that you were very quick to kiss that man, and all for one little brooch.”
“It isn’t one little brooch; it’s one
large
brooch. And why shouldn’t I kiss him? At least
he
doesn’t smell like onions!”
Lord Findercombe stiffened. “My doctor recommended I eat onions to help with my digestion!”
“They might help your digestion, but they do not assist your other parts!”
Tittering erupted from the guests. Even Lady Hearst had to turn aside to keep from giggling in a most unseemly manner.
Lord Findercombe turned so red it appeared he might explode. “It was a mistake to come here so soon on the heels of a disaster. Neither of us is as we should be.”
“Speak for yourself, my lord; I am perfectly fine. Better than fine. In fact, I have never felt finer than now, having met a
real
gentleman!” Lucilla threw off her cloak and handed it to a nearby footman. Then she turned and took Lady Hearst’s arm. “My lady, might I request some ratafia? I am quite parched.”
“Of course, my dear!” Lady Hearst cooed. “Come this way and tell me all about your horrid evening!”
The other guests watched enviously as Lady Hearst led Lucilla toward the refreshment table, leaving Lord Findercombe loudly complaining in the foyer. This spectacle soon palled, and slowly, one by one, the guests returned to the ballroom.
To Lord Hearst’s chagrin, Findercombe continued to lament the loss of his lady’s jewels until a gentleman appeared at the top of the stairs.
“Westerville!” Hearst said with obvious relief.
The gentleman in question smiled and continued his leisurely stroll down the stairs. Fashionably attired in a multi-caped coat, his riding boots exquisitely shined, he was the epitome of fashion. Handsome in an almost classical way, tall, with
broad shoulders, he paused at the foot of the stairs, regarding the two older lords with an air of faint amusement.
Lord Hearst hurried forward. “Westerville! Leaving so soon?”
“Urgent business calls me to London.”
“Demmed! I wish you’d find a way to stay another week. There is some top hunting to be had hereabouts.”
Findercombe harrumphed loudly.
Hearst started. “Oh good heavens! Almost forgot. Lord Findercombe, have you met Viscount Westerville?”
“No,” Findercombe said in a testy voice. “Nor do I wish to at this moment. I am too upset to—”
“He’s a fine fellow,” Hearst said, beaming at the newcomer. “A bruising rider to the hounds!”
The viscount grinned, his teeth flashing in a face lightly tanned. “Hearst, I would stay if I could, but I must get to London to file for my inheritance. I have hopes of purchasing that bay hunter of yours as soon as I have matters in hand.”
Hearst’s booming laughter filled the hall. “By all means, then, make haste to London!”
The viscount bowed. “I shall.” His amused gaze flickered over Findercombe’s flushed face. “Lord Findercombe, you look upset. Is something amiss?”
“Oh lud, yes,” Hearst said. “A highwayman importuned poor Lady Findercombe and forced her into a kiss. Worse, the minx looked as if she might have enjoyed it!”
“Hearst!” bellowed Lord Findercombe. “How dare you suggest Lady Findercombe—that she—how could you say—”
“There, there!” Hearst said, eyeing his friend a bit nervously. “I just said she
looked
as if she enjoyed it. For all I know, she detested it and was only being polite.”
“My lady is quite young,” Findercombe said, sending a red-faced glare at his host. “She doesn’t know what she likes. She was quite aghast when the knave forced himself upon her and—”
“Forced?” The viscount’s brows lowered over his pale eyes, which in the uncertain light appeared to be an unusual shade of silver-green. “The man must have been a complete cad.”
“He was,” Findercombe said stoutly. “He importuned my lady in a most unchivalrous manner.”
The viscount pursed his lips, a dark humor in his gaze. “I am surprised you did not call the man out. Or perhaps you did?”
“I would have, had the coward stayed! But he was away with my money before I could collect myself.”
“Yes,” the younger man said reflectively. “It is always so difficult to collect oneself whilst cowering on the floor of one’s own carriage.”
Lord Hearst gave an involuntary exclamation at this, but Findercombe merely blinked, his gaze riveted on the viscount’s face. “How could you know I hid on the floor of my carriage?”
The viscount smiled gently. “Your knees are muddied.”
The older lord bent over. “Oh. That. I slid to the
floor, hoping to distract the man from—not that it matters, for I did not have my pistol with me, which will not happen again!”
“Of course,” the viscount said soothingly.
“A horrid happening, but over now, thank heavens,” Hearst said in his bluff manner. “Westerville, you’ve a distance to travel this evening, so we shall not hold you further. Send a letter when you’re ready for the bay and I’ll have her brought to you.”
“Thank you, my lord. I shall do that.”
“I hope you will!” Hearst opened the library door. “Come, Findercombe! Try some of my port. It’s the best to be had. Westerville himself brought it all the way from France!” He winked over Findercombe’s head at Westerville and then shut the library door behind him.
The viscount grinned. Whistling softly, he left the house and made his way to his waiting carriage.
“There ye be, Master Jack,” said a large, red-haired Scotsman, heaving a sigh of relief. “I’ve been waiting.”
