Gaming for Love (25 page)

“You’re going to
hide behind Dad? What are you, ten? If you’re going to say
something like that to me, you better be man enough to back it up.”
I tell him with a glare, looking pointedly at Alex.

His eyes go wide when
he gets it and he says sheepishly, “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
But, seriously, is there something that I can do? I really want to
help.”

“Yes, there is
something that I would like you to do.” I am smiling now, because I
know he is going to like what I am about to tell him. “I need you
to channel your old street art ways and paint a mural on the front of
Yasmin’s store. She really does love art and I’m hoping that you
can somehow convince her that this will be a favor to you. Then, I
need you to social media it up and let all of those fans of yours
know that you’re going back to your roots for this one.”

“I can definitely do
that,” Owen tells me. “I can also tell my fans that the store is
special to me and get them to shop there.”

“Not to be rude, but
you have fans?” Erika asks him.

“Yeah, I do. I have 5
million twitter followers and over a million Facebook fans,” he
says. My brother is one talented guy and people know it. I know he
misses doing his street art. Once he started doing the commercial
work for the company, he gave it up. I’m glad to have a way for him
to do what he loves
and
help Yas.

“Whoa. I had no
idea,” Erika tells him, impressed.

I rein them back in.
“So, is everyone good with their assigned tasks?” They all nod.
“Great, then let’s get started with whatever we can right now. I
know some things will have to wait until Monday but I would like to
have as much in place as possible today. Thank you all for helping.
It means a lot to me and it will mean a lot to Yas too.”

My family heads off to
get started and I walk Erika and Sean over to my place to get the
software disk that I had made for Yas. When we get inside, Erika sees
the wrapped present on my hall table. “You never opened that?”

“No, I didn’t. It’s
not a big deal. I don’t need a present from Yas. I just need her.”

“It
is
a big deal. She spent a ton of time on it and was so excited to give
it to you.”

“Yeah? She always
told me that she wasn’t very crafty. I’ll open it when you guys
leave, I guess.”

“She isn’t crafty
but she wanted to do it for you.”

I want to kick myself.
No, I want to beat the shit out of myself. I have ruined the best
thing that ever happened to me. What if despite everything that I am
doing, I can’t win her back? I know I don’t deserve her and that
she probably shouldn’t forgive me. But, I want her to. I
need
her to.

Sean clasps my shoulder
and startles me out of my thoughts. “She’ll forgive you. I mean,
what you have planned for her is awesome, but even if you weren’t
doing all that stuff, you love her, right?” I nod. “I know she
loves you, too. Which means that she will want to forgive you. You
can make this work.”

“Thanks, Sean.” I
take a deep breath. “Let me show you my workroom and I’ll give
you the drive with the program on it.”

I take them into the
room, where Sean and I start talking computers. Erika just wanders
around touching things, which would normally freak me out. But, I
know that I can trust them. I get the program for them and then offer
Sean a job, if he wants it. I’ve been toying with the idea of
hiring an assistant to help with some of the easy coding and
finishing touches of my programs. After talking to him, I know he can
do it. And like I said, I trust him.

“Are you serious? I
would love to work for you! You’re a genius.”

“I’ll take that as
a yes. Just go by the company office on Monday and ask for Ellen in
H.R. She’ll get you all the paperwork.”

Erika hugs me as they
leave. “I’ll do what I can to help you.”

I thank her, close the
door and walk over to the package on the table. I pick it up and sit
on the couch. I turn it over in my hands and then slowly tear the
wrapping paper off of it. I nearly drop it when I see what it is.

It’s an album with
Yas and me on the cover. The picture is one of the ones that we took
at the tattoo shop. She is sitting on my lap and my arms are around
her while we look at each other with our foreheads touching. We look
so happy and in love. We
were
so happy. We
are
still in love. At least I am and from what Erika and Sean said, so is
Yas. I really need to not screw this up again.

I open the album and see a message
written inside.

Pretty Boy,

Thank you for showing me your city. The time that we spent there
gave me some of the best memories of my life. I will never forget the
places we went or the things that we did. I am honored that you
wanted to share so much with me, including yourself. I made this
scrapbook so that you could see just how much the trip and YOU mean
to me.

I love you more than words can possibly express.

Yas

P.S. I used your Nintendo pen to write this!

I could stop right
there at the first page and be happy for the rest of my life, but I
continue because I want to see what she chose to commemorate our time
in Chicago. The pages are in order of where we went every day. By the
time I’m done, I want to just run to the store, get down on my
knees and beg Yas to take me back. But, I know that she’s not ready
for that yet. I need to work on fixing some things and not just with
Yas. I need to work on fixing myself. I open the scrapbook back up
and start again from the beginning.

A map of the Art
Institute along with a Seurat postcard and the picture of us from
outside by the lion. The background paper is of letters in various
fonts.

A visitor’s guide to
Navy Pier along with a napkin from the pizza place and a picture of
us that we had someone take. Our arms are around each other and we’re
looking at the camera. Lake Michigan is behind us. The paper is
covered in Ferris wheels.

Pictures of me and John
hugging by my car, a picture of the house and the three of us in a
selfie there. This paper has Mustangs on it.

Pictures of my room—the
computer shelves, the bookcase with my controllers and figurines, my
desk and a selfie of us in my bed, cuddling. The paper for this one
is really cool with Mario characters and Japanese writing all over
it.

Pictures of me and Mrs.
J., the three of us and the marks in the kitchen showing my growth.
This paper is similar to the last one, just with different colors.

A napkin and matchbook
from the cruise ship along with pictures of us arriving and dancing.
Ships cover the paper on this one.

A flyer for Windy City
Tats along with photos of us with Zane and Quinn. The paper is
covered in drawings that I recognize as Zane’s.

A napkin and to go menu
from the restaurant we ate at with my family and friends along with a
group picture of all of us from the table. The background is of
various types of food.

Pictures of my
apartment—Owen’s sculptures, my staircase taken from a cool angle
and me playing video games on the bed after we made love. The
background is another one of those cool Japanese ones.

The last page has a
background of hearts and features the picture of us in the hotel
lobby as well as various papers and cards from the W.

I go through the album
several more times before my mom calls to tell me that she is done
shopping. I tell her that I’ll meet her at Yas’s house, grab my
keys and head out the door. I drive to the house and arrive just
before my mom. I unlock the door and prop it open with one of the
planters from the porch so that it will be easier to carry in the
groceries.

We carry the first
batch to the door and then both stop just inside. Yas really did sell
her furniture. There is nothing left. Even the walls are mostly bare.
Except for the wall tiles that I bought her at the museum in Chicago.
She kept those.

“Oh, Scott.” My mom
looks anguished.

“I know, Mom. I will
make this right, I promise.”

“I know you will.”
She looks at me and a smile replaces some of her sadness. “Now,
let’s get these groceries put away so I can start cooking.”

“You’re cooking?”
I ask as we walk through an equally bare dining room and into the
kitchen.

“I know that Yasmin
can’t say no to my mac and cheese so I thought that I would make
some. I want to make sure that she eats.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You don’t need to
thank me. I love Yasmin, too. Do you want to leave the key with me so
that I can close up?”

“No, I have something
that I want to do while we’re here.”

It takes a little while
to bring in all of the groceries and put them away. I think my mom
bought the entire store. I leave her in the kitchen and head to Yas’s
room. I’m kind of freaked out to see it. I don’t want to see that
sexy bedroom taken apart. It was where we were first together and we
spent many other nights there as well. I take a deep breath and walk
down the hall. I nearly fall over when I walk into the room and see
that nothing has changed. She kept this room intact. I’m glad that
I just bought this house so that she won’t have to sell anything. I
head over to the loveseat by the window, take out my notebook and get
ready to write. My mom is leaving her some mac and cheese and I am
leaving her a letter. And some pens.

Yasmin

I managed to make it
through the rest of the day without falling apart. I was glad when
Erika said that Sean’s friend couldn’t meet with us after all.
They insisted on coming by to drive me home and I was too tired to
argue. I just want to get back to my house and take a long bath. I
don’t have much time there. Tony called today to say that he got an
offer that he wants to talk to me about. I put him off until Monday
because I am not ready to deal with leaving the house yet. Getting
rid of the furniture wasn’t too bad because I had been wanting to
pick my own new stuff for the last year but couldn’t afford it.
Now, I can start new in an apartment. I will take my bedroom
furniture with me, though. I couldn’t give it up, especially after
the memories that I made there with Scott. I know that it shouldn’t
matter and that I said that I was moving on, but I want to remember
him there with me. I
need
to remember those times when he still loved me and we were happy.
Remembering them keeps me from falling completely into the darkness
that wants to overtake me.

We pull into my
driveway and I say my goodbyes and head into the house. As soon as I
walk in, I smell something good. Something like Maggie’s mac and
cheese. I follow the scent into the kitchen where the light is on and
there
is
mac and
cheese in the oven. A note on the stove from Maggie tells me she
heard that I wasn’t eating much so she made this for me and it’s
warm so all I have to do is take it out of the oven. She tells me
that my cupboards and refrigerator are full as well. She also said
that I’m welcome at the house for dinner anytime. And that she
loves me. I choke back a sob and wonder what changed, why she would
suddenly want to be in my life again. And how did she get in? I can
figure that out later. Right now, I need to eat because I’m a
little dizzy and I don’t want to pass out.

After I eat, I feel better but I
still want a bath. I put away the leftovers and wash my plate in the
sink. I’ll call Maggie tomorrow and thank her. I just want to get
these clothes off and try to relax. I walk into my room and stop in
my tracks. There are a bunch of silver Bic pens in the shape of a
heart on my bed. I had wanted those pens forever but you can only buy
them if you live in England. I told Scott that once and it looks like
he remembered. That’s how Maggie got in, I realize. I had given him
a key the night of his party. I’m still trying to process the pens
and figure out what has changed when I notice the envelope in the
middle of the heart.
My
heart starts beating hard and I walk slowly to the bed and pick it
up.

Yas

I walk over to the loveseat and sit
down. I swallow a few times before pulling the paper out and reading.

Beautiful, honest, amazing Yas,

I need to start by telling you how sorry I am. I should have
believed you when you said that you didn’t know that I designed the
software program. I should have never even considered that you would
use me. I know you better than that, but I let my insecurities and
fears take over. I projected my anger at Amber on you. I never had
the chance to tell her off or yell at her for what she did. So, when
I heard Justin say that you would do anything for the program, all
rational thoughts left my mind and I lashed out at you without giving
you a chance to explain.

I knew that I was upset about what Amber did, but I never realized
just how messed up I am over it. How insecure I felt, thinking that
no one could really love me. Yet you did and instead of treasuring
you and our relationship, I destroyed what we had between us. After
everything happened with Amber, my parents wanted me to go see
someone to talk about what I was feeling and help me deal with it. I
told them that I didn’t need to do that and they supported my
choice. I realize now that I do need help. I need to talk to someone
and try to believe that I am worthy of love, your love. I ‘m going
to get better for me and then I am going to come to you as the man
you deserve and ask you to give me another chance. Until then, I’m
going to woo you again. You deserve that and so much more.

I have some specific things that I need to apologize to you for. I
called you a bitch and a slut. You are neither. You stood up to Amber
for me and my family but that doesn’t make you a bitch, it makes
you a beautiful, loyal woman who cares for us all. You let me live
out a fantasy because you loved me and that doesn’t make you a
slut, it makes you the best girlfriend a guy could ever hope for. You
are an amazing, compassionate, smart, sexy, gorgeous woman. One that
I am lucky to have met.