Authors: Crystal Perkins
“Let me walk you out
to your car. Wait, I heard that you didn’t have a car. How did you
get here?”
“I borrowed Sam’s
car. You don’t need to walk me out.”
“I want to. Is that
okay?” She nods and we walk out into the backyard.
I put my hands in the
pockets of my jeans and wait to see if she will break the awkward
silence. I haven’t been doing too good a job of talking to her
today without it all coming out wrong so I would rather have her
start the conversation. We’re almost to her car before she finally
says something. “How are you doing? Alex said that you are going to
see a therapist. Is it helping you at all?” She looks at the ground
when she asks instead of looking at me. I want her to look at me so I
reach out and pull her chin up.
“It’s going really
well. I’ve been going in 3 times a week to talk to Mike. I’m
comfortable with him and I don’t feel like I’m in a doctor’s
office. I feel like I’m talking to a friend, just one who can be
impartial and talk things out with me. We do a lot of talking and I
am starting to realize that I might be lovable.” She starts to
protest but I put my hand over her mouth. “I always knew that my
family loved me, but I’m talking about romantic love. Not just with
Amber, but even in high school when no one wanted to be friends with
me, much less date me. And later in college, when girls were
perfectly fine with just hooking up with me and not having any kind
of relationship. I mean, yeah, it was fun, but I never stopped to
think about how what I was doing, what I was settling for, was
feeding my insecurities.”
She moves my hand from
her mouth. “What about me? Do you believe that I loved you?”
“Yes, I do.” But,
my heart has just plummeted. She said “loved” not “love.” “It
is one of the first things that Mike and I talked about. How I let my
insecurities ruin what we had. We talk about you every session. I
know I fucked up and having him point things out to me has been
really hard. But I need it. I need someone to call me on my shit. My
family just sided with me because that’s what families do, but I
needed to be told that I was wrong. Mike doesn’t tell me that, but
hearing him repeat what I tell him, makes me realize it. I’m not
completely better. That is going to take a long time, but I have
started to realize my self-worth. It feels really good.”
“I’m really happy
for you, Scott. You are a wonderful man and I am so glad that you are
realizing that.” She smiles up at me. “I want to thank you for
the wooing. I loved the cupcakes, candy, flowers and of course the
pens. You don’t need to keep sending me stuff, though.”
Does she know that
she’s killing me? That I’m slowly dying inside. First, she used
the past tense when she talked about loving me and now she’s
telling me to stop sending her things. It’s over. I didn’t do
enough to convince her. I didn’t get better fast enough. I am
starting to panic and she must see it because she grabs my shoulders.
“Scott, what’s
wrong? Tell me. What happened?” Yas is looking panicked now, too.
I take a few breaths to
calm myself down and then I do what Mike says that I need to when I
am in a hard situation. I tell her the truth. “You told me that you
would give me a chance when I’m ready.” She nods, still looking
confused. “I thought that there was a chance for us to be together
again but you just said that you
loved
me, past tense, and then asked me to stop sending you things. It’s
just hard to hear that it’s really over. I don’t want it to be
over.” I hang my head and fight the tears gathering in my eyes.
That’s all I need. For her to see me crying over her.
“Look at me, Scott.”
I shake my head and she lets out a frustrated sigh. “Dammit Scott,
do you want me to beg?
Look
at me please, Pretty Boy.” It’s her use of my nickname that has
me raising my eyes to meet hers. “I used the word
loved
because I need to know that
you
know that for the time we were together, I loved you. I want to make
sure that you know that my love for you was real. That doesn’t mean
that I’m not in love with you now. I am. I can’t imagine that I
will ever not be in love with you. Even if we’re not together, my
heart will always be yours. And as for sending me things, I just
meant that you should concentrate on getting better and working on
your new project instead of finding things to send me.”
“You’re still in
love with me?”
“Yes, Scott, I am.
That doesn’t mean that I’m just going to fall into your arms and
forget how you hurt me. Or that I’m going to put up with you
treating me like shit again. You nearly destroyed me. But, it does
mean that I forgive you and I am hoping that we can be together
again. I don’t want it to be over either.”
“I’m almost ready
to ask you to give me that chance. Like I said, I am going to have to
keep seeing Mike for a long time, I think. But, I am better. And, I
love finding things to send you. It makes me happy to know that you
like what I send.”
“I’m here waiting
for you. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but it’s true. When
you’re ready to come for me, I will be ready to listen. Your
presents do make me happy. Now, I better get going. I’ll talk to
you soon.” She hugs me and then gets into her car.
Yas
It has been a couple of
days since I went to Scott’s house. Things are still going great
with the store. In fact, business is kind of booming. Between Owen’s
fans, Luke’s girls and Scott’s program, we are looking to turn a
profit this month. I got a call today from two publishers asking me
to host signings for their authors. These are some of the biggest
authors out there now and although I’m happy, I am starting to feel
like things are too good to be true. Like there is something going on
that I don’t know about.
“You should just be
happy that things are going well,” Sam tells me.
“I
am
happy but it just seems weird that this all just fell in my lap. I
mean, I just sold my house for an amount of money that makes me a
millionaire, publishers are calling me to set up big signings when
they wouldn’t even give me little ones a few weeks ago and now I
heard that the landlords sold to a new company and everyone’s rent
is going down. It is all a little much.”
“It’s more like
karma, Yasmin. You are such a good person and you deserve all of
this.”
“Maybe I deserve it
but I don’t know how I started getting it,” I tell her and then I
find out. The mailman brings me a letter from Griffin Commercial &
Technology telling me that they are the new owners and that my rent
will be lowered to a ridiculously small amount. I know when I see it
that the family is behind what has been going on. I want to be mad,
but I’m not. They once thought of me as part of their family and
families help each other. I know Owen is loving the mural and Luke is
loving those girls he brings in, but I realize that they were helping
me more than I realized, too.
I think about Alex. How
she was here every night and whoever picked her up would give me a
ride. Now that I’m doing better financially, I have been scheduling
someone with me until close and Alex has gone back to two days a
week. One of my friends has been driving me home. I wonder who bought
my house. No, actually I don’t. I know in my heart that it was
Scott. I don’t know how or when I am going to let them know that I
am aware of what they have done. I want to call them all right now,
but that doesn’t seem right. I will think of something.
I tell Sam what I’ve
figured out and she looks guilty. “Wait a minute. You knew, didn’t
you?”
“Yeah, I did. I’m
sorry Yasmin. Erika and Sean were there when Scott told everyone
about his plan and how they fit into it. We just wanted to help you
and we weren’t sure you would take the help if we offered.”
“I probably wouldn’t
have. I know that I am too proud sometimes. I’m not mad, though. I
needed the help and it is nice to have people care enough to do
things for me.”
“We all love you.”
“I love you guys too.
Now, tell me more about all of this being Scott’s plan.”
She tells me about
everything. I can’t believe Scott organized all of that for me,
even before he started getting help from Mike. It makes me think that
he already believed in me and our love. Maybe he just didn’t know
how to deal with it yet. I want to call him up and talk to him about
it, but I don’t know if I should. He told me that he would come to
me when he was ready to try again and I feel like I should wait for
him.
Sam is giving me a ride
tonight, but tomorrow I’m going to pick up my new SUV. I can’t
wait to have my own car again. We set the alarm and walk out of the
store. I can’t believe the sight before me. Scott is in the parking
lot, leaning against his car like Logan in the Veronica Mars movie.
My friends and I saw that movie and we swooned together at that part.
I think that I am swooning right now too.
He’s wearing a black
short sleeved button down shirt untucked over his jeans. His combat
boots are on his feet and his glasses are on his face. I nearly melt
just looking at him. He smiles when he sees me and I sway a little.
It should be illegal to look that good.
I barely register Sam
saying goodbye to me as I walk to him. “Hi, Pretty Boy.”
“Hi, Yas. Can I give
you a ride home?”
“Well since my ride
just left me, I think you have to.”
He smirks and says, “I
always liked Sam.”
He opens the passenger
door for me and I get in. We’re both quiet on the way to my—I
guess his—house. We pull into the driveway and he gets out to open
my door and walk me to the porch. We step onto it and he takes my
hands in his and finally speaks. “Will you go on a date with me
tomorrow, Yas?”
“Yes, I will.”
“Wow. That was easier
than I thought. I was prepared to work for it.”
“I never intended to
make this hard for you. I just wanted to know that you were serious
about us, that you wouldn’t just walk away from me again.”
“I have a lot of work
still ahead of me, as far as my therapy. But one thing I know for
sure is that once I get you back, I am never letting you go again.”
“You seem confident
that you’ll win me back. It’s good to see you being confident
about that.”
“Well, you
did
agree to go out with me, so I think that I have a shot.”
“You might,” I
tease, squeezing his hands.
“I know this may be a
long shot, but is there any way that I can kiss you right now?”
When I hesitate, he adds, “Just kissing, I promise. My hands won’t
leave yours.”
I pull on his hands to
bring him closer and then lift my head towards his. He immediately
lowers his head and touches his lips to mine. He continues to give me
little kisses until I can’t take it anymore. I slant my mouth and
suck his piercing between my teeth. He moans and then opens his mouth
to deepen our kiss. Our tongues are playing with each other and I
feel myself getting lost in him. I pull away and his mouth follows me
so I give him another peck and then step back.
“Goodnight, Scott. I’ll see you
tomorrow.” I make myself let go of his hands and walk into the
house. I know that if I don’t, I will invite him inside and I can’t
do that tonight. Maybe tomorrow, but not tonight. I’ve just reached
the bedroom when a text comes through.
Scott: I was thinking that we could go to the Maestro’s
restaurant at Crystals. I know that you said that you always wanted
to eat in that treehouse of theirs.
Me: That sounds great. Good night, Pretty Boy.
Scott: I’ll pick you up at 6. Sweet dreams, Yas.
I will have sweet
dreams, because they’ll all be about him. And that kiss we just
had. And what he managed to plan for me. Oh, and what I plan to do
with him tomorrow night.
* * *
Scott
I’ve been going crazy
all day waiting for my date with Yas tonight. I was also driving Sean
crazy so he sent me upstairs to get ready, saying that he could
finish deciphering my notes on his own. I was actually glad to have
extra time to get ready. I want to make sure I look good. I’m
definitely wearing a suit. But which one and what color shirt? Shit,
I’m acting like a girl. But tonight is important. I’m going to
ask Yas to be with me again. I don’t think that it will take much
convincing if the way she kissed me last night is any indication, but
I am prepared to do whatever I need to in order to win her back. I
finally decide on a dark gray suit with a teal shirt the same color
as the bra and panties she was wearing the first time we slept
together. The thought of that night has me instantly hard and I have
to think about wrinkly senior citizens to get myself back under
control as I head out to my car.
When I get to Yas’
house, I ring the doorbell and wait for her to answer it. Yes, this
is technically my house, but she doesn’t know that yet. I can’t
just walk in. She answers the door and I nearly fall to my knees.
“Sweet mother of God,
Yas. Are you trying to kill me with that dress?” It’s black and
only one of her shoulders is covered. The dress hugs her tightly
across the chest and stomach and then falls into a chiffon shirt that
goes past her knees. She is wearing fuck me heels and a few pieces of
the museum jewelry. Her hair is in soft waves.
“I could say the same
about you.” I look into her eyes and see the hunger there. I need
to rein this in for both of us because I want to take her out and
talk to her. I really do. And then I want to bring her back here and
make love to her until neither one of us can walk.
I mentally shake myself
and grab her hand. “Come on, we better go while we still can.”