Garden of Eden (14 page)

"What
was the scandal?" David asked.

"It
wasn't anything," the girl said.

"I
didn't mind it," Catherine said. "I liked it."

"Someone
said something about her slacks in Nice."

"That's
not a scandal," David said. "It's a big town. You had to expect that
if you went there."

"Do
I look any different?" Catherine asked. "I wish they'd brought the
mirror. Do I look any different to you?"

"No."
David looked at her. She looked very blond and disheveled and darker than ever
and very excited and defiant.

"That's
good," she said. "Because I tried it."

"You
didn't do anything," the girl said.

"I
did and I liked it and I want another drink."

"She
didn't do anything, David," the girl said.

"This
morning I stopped the car on the long clear stretch and kissed her and she
kissed me and on the way back from Nice too and when we got out of the car just
now." Catherine looked at him lovingly but rebelliously and then said,
"It was fun and I liked it. You kiss her too. The boy's not here."

David
turned to the girl and she clung to him suddenly and they kissed. He had not
meant to kiss her and he had not known it would be like this when he did it.

"That's
enough," Catherine said.

"How
are you?" David said to the girl. She was shy and happy again. "I'm
happy the way you said to be," the girl told him. "Everybody is happy
now," Catherine said. "We've shared all the guilt." They had a
very good lunch and drank cold Tavel through the hors d'oeuvres, the poulet and
the ratatouille, the salad and the fruit and cheese. They were all hungry and
they made jokes and no one was solemn. "There's a terrific surprise for
dinner or before," Catherine said. "She spends money like a drunken
oil-lease Indian, David." "Are they nice?" the girl asked.
"Or are they like Maharajas?" "David will tell you about them.
He comes from Oklahoma." "I thought he came from East Africa."
"No. Some of his ancestors escaped from Oklahoma and took him to East
Africa when he was very young. "It must have been very exciting."
"He wrote a novel about being in East Africa when he was a boy."
"I know." "You read it?" David asked her. "I
did," she said. "Do you want to ask me about it?"
"No," he said. "I'm familiar with it." "It made me
cry," the girl said. "Was that your father in it?" "Some
ways.

"You
must have loved him very much." "I did." "You never talked
to me about him," Catherine said. "You never asked me."
"Would you have?" "No," he said. "I loved the
book," the girl said. "Don't overreach," Catherine said. "I
wasn't."

"When
you kissed him—" "You asked me to."

"What
I wanted to say when you interrupted," Catherine said, "was did you think
of him as a writer when you kissed him and liked it so much?" David poured
a glass of Tavel and drank some of it. "I don't know," the girl said.
"I didn't think." "I'm glad," Catherine said. "I was
afraid it was going to be like the clippings." The girl looked really
mystified and Catherine explained, "The press cuttings about the second
book. He's written two you know."

"I
only read The Rift." "The second one is about flying. In the war.
It's the only good thing anyone ever wrote about flying." "Balls,"
David said. "Wait until you read it," Catherine said. "It's a
book you had to die to write and you had to be completely destroyed. Don't ever
think I don't know about his books just because I don't think he's a writer
when I kiss him." "I think we ought to take a siesta," David
said. "You ought to take a nap, Devil. You're tired." "I talked
too much," Catherine said. "It was a nice lunch and I'm sorry if I
talked too much and boasted." "I loved you when you talked about the
books," the girl said. "You were admirable." "I don't feel
admirable. I am tired," Catherine said. "Have you plenty to read,
Marita?" "I have two books still," the girl said. "Later
I'll borrow some if I may. "May I come in to see you later?" "If
you want," the girl said. David did not look at the girl and she did not
look at him. "I won't disturb you?" Catherine said. "Nothing
that I do is important," the girl said.

Catherine
and David lay side by side on the bed in their room with the wind blowing its
last day outside and it was not like siesta in the old days.

"Can
I tell you now?"

"I'd
rather skip it."

"No,
let me tell. This morning when I started the car I was frightened and I tried
to drive very well and I felt hollow inside. Then I could see Cannes up ahead
on the hill and the road was clear all up ahead by the sea and I looked behind
and it was clear and I pulled out from the road into the brush. Where it's like
the sagebrush. I kissed her and she kissed me and we sat in the car and I felt
very strange and then we drove into Nice and I don't know whether people could
tell it or not. I didn't care by then and we went everywhere and bought
everything. She loves to buy things. Someone made a rude remark but it was nothing
really. Then we stopped on the way home and she said it was better if I was her
girl and I said I didn't care either way and really I was glad because I am a
girl now anyway and I didn't know what to do. I never felt so not knowing ever.
But she's nice and she wanted to help me I think. I don't know. Anyway she was
nice and I was driving and she was so pretty and happy and she was just gentle
the way we are sometimes or me to you or either of us and I said I couldn't
drive if she did that so we stopped. I only kissed her but I know it happened
with me. So we were there for a while and then I drove straight home. I kissed
her before we came in and we were happy and I liked it and I still like
it."

"So
now you've done it," David said carefully, "and you're through with
it."

"But
I'm not. I liked it and I'm going to really do it."

"No.
You don't have''

"I
do and I'm going to do it until I'm through with it and I'm over it."

"Who
says you'll be over it?" "I do. But I really have to, David. I didn't
know I'd ever be like this." He did not say anything. "I'll be
back," she said. "I know I'll get over it as well as I know anything.
Please trust me. He did not say anything. "She's waiting for me. Didn't
you hear me ask her? It's like stopping in the middle of anything."
"I'm going up to Paris," David said. "You can reach me through
the bank." "No," she said. "No. You have to help me."
"I can't help you. "You can. You can't go away. I couldn't stand it
if you went away. I don't want to be with her. It's only something that I have
to do. Can't you understand? Please understand. You always understand."
"Not this part." "Please try. You always understood before. You
know you did. Everything. Didn't you?" "Yes. Before." "It
started with us and there'll only be us when I get this finished. I'm not in
love with anyone else." "Don't do it." "I have to. Ever
since I went to school all I ever had was chances to do it and people wanting
to do it with me. And I never would and never did. But now I have to." He
said nothing. "Please know how it is." He did not say anything.
"Anyway she's in love with you and you can have her and wash everything
away that way.

"You're
talking crazy, Devil."

"I
know it," she said. "I'll stop."

"Take
a nap," he said. "Just lie close and quiet and we'll both go to
sleep."

"I
love you so," she said. "And you're my true partner the way I told
her. I've told her too much about you but that's all she likes to talk about.
I'm quiet now so I'm going to go."

"Yes,"
she said. "You wait for me. I won't be very long."

When
she came back to the room David was not there and she stood a long time and
looked at the bed and then went to the bathroom door and opened it and stood
and looked in the long mirror. Her face had no expression and she looked at herself
from her head down to her feet with no expression on her face at all. The light
was nearly gone when she went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

DAVID
DROVE up from Cannes in the dusk. The wind had fallen and he left the car in
the usual place and walked up the path to where the light came out onto the
patio and the garden. Marita came out of the doorway and walked toward him.
"Catherine feels terribly," she said. "Please be kind to
her." "The hell with both of you," David said. "With me,
yes. But not with her. You mustn't, David." "Don't tell me what I
must and what I mustn't." "Don't you want to take care of her?"
"Not particularly." "I do." "You certainly have."
"Don't be a fool," she said. "You're not a fool. I tell you this
is serious." "Where is she?" "In there waiting for you.
David went in the door. Catherine was sitting at the empty bar.
"Hello," she said. "They didn't bring the mirror. "Hello,
Devil," he said. "I'm sorry I was late." He was shocked at the
dead way she looked and at her toneless voice. "I thought you'd gone
away," she said. "Didn't you see I hadn't taken anything?"
"I didn't look. You wouldn't need to take anything to go away.
"No," David said. "I just went into town. "Oh," she
said and looked at the wall. "The wind's dropping," he said. "It
will be a good day tomorrow. "I don't care about tomorrow. "Sure you
do." "No I don't. Don't ask me to." "I won't ask you
to," he said. "Have you had a drink?"

"I'll
make one." "It won't do any good." "It might. We're still
us." He was making the drink and she watched him mechanically as he
stirred and then poured into the glasses. "Put in the garlic olive,"
she said. He handed her one of the glasses and lifted his and touched it
against hers. "Here s to us. She poured her glass out on the bar and
looked at it flow along the wood. Then she picked up the olive and put it in
her mouth. "There isn't any us," she said. "Not anymore. David
took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the bar and made another drink.
"It's all shit," Catherine said. David handed her the drink and she
looked at it and then poured it on the bar. David mopped it up again and wrung
out his handkerchief. Then he drank his own martini and made two more.

"This
one you drink," he said. "Just drink it." "Just
drink," she said. She lifted the glass and said, "Here's to you and
your god damned handkerchief." She drank the glass off and then held it,
looking at it, and David was sure that she was going to throw it in his face.
Then she put it down and picked the garlic olive out of it and ate it very
carefully and handed David the pit. "Semi-precious stone," she said.
"Put it in your pocket. I'll have another one if you'll make it. "But
drink this one slowly." "Oh I'm quite all right now," Catherine
said. "You probably won't notice the difference. I'm sure it happens to
everybody." "Do you feel better?" "Much better really. You
just lose something and it's gone that's all. All we lose was all that we had.
But we get some more. There's no problem is there?" "Are you
hungry?" "No. But I'm sure everything will be all right. You said it
would didn't you?" "Of course it will." "I wish I could
remember what it was we lost. But it doesn't matter does it? You said it didn't
matter." "No." "Then let's be cheerful. It's just gone
whatever it was." "It must have been something we forgot," he
said. "We'll find it.

"I
did something I know. But it's gone now. "That's good." "It
wasn't anyone else's fault whatever it was." "Don't talk about
faults." "I know what it was now," she smiled. "But I
wasn't unfaithful. Really David. How could I be? I couldn't be. You know that.
How could you say I was? Why did you say it?" "You weren't"

"Of
course I wasn't. I wish you hadn't said it though." "I didn't say it,
Devil." "Somebody did. But I wasn't. I just did what I said I'd do.
Where's Marita?" "She's in her room I think." "I'm glad I'm
all right again. Once you took it back I was all right. I wish it was you had
done it so I could take it back about you. We're us again aren't we? I didn't
kill it."

She
smiled again. "That's good. I'll go and get her. Do you mind? She was
worried about me. Before you came back." "She was?" "I
talked a lot," Catherine said. "I always talk too much. She's awfully
nice, David, if you knew her. She was very good to me." "The hell
with her." "No. You took all that back. Remember? I don't want to
have all that again. Do you? It's too confusing. Truly." "All right
bring her. She'll be glad to see you're feeling good again."