Geli Voyante's Hot or Not (33 page)

There,
I’ve finally admitted it: I’m afraid of Theodore Bones.

I
f this all means being single and leaving the paper, then so be it – I have my friends and family. It seems I can even include Tiggy in both of these categories since she was confronting him about keeping this from me.

I was never
scared of falling in love with him like I previously believed, I was scared of who he is – what he can easily hide about himself, what he clearly has hidden about himself – but I’m not scared any more. I can walk away from him, I can start again and things will work out just fine. At least I won’t be afraid.

‘Is it yours
?’ I ask calmly.

‘It might be.
’

I recoil
; it still stings, even if I am walking away. By “might be”, I know it is.

‘How far is she gone?’
I ask. I’m spurred on by a morbid curiosity.

‘Five months.’

‘You’ve being seeing me three,’ I state, appalled.

‘I know, I know,’ he says in a tone that
suggests he’s expecting me to forgive him, so he might as well tell me the truth because I’m stupid enough to accept his hideous lies. He doesn’t know me though, not the real Geli Voyante. He’s wrong.

‘B
ut I only found out the night you met my friends at Cobra’s.’

That explains the hushed whisperings that night
– it wasn’t paranoia and the illness. I had been right to suspect something – but that was a month ago.
He’s known a month and not told me?

‘Geli, I love you,’ he
offers, when I don’t respond.
He loves himself.
‘Baby,
please
. I love you. It might not even be mine. Don’t listen to her. Don’t do this to us. We’re so perfect together.’

We are not
. I don’t want to look at him – risk getting sucked back into his lies – so I look at Tiggy. Tiggy who is stood silently laughing at me. Right now she doesn’t look like a sisterly friend confronting Theo though. She looks
delighted
at my pain. Not delighted at Theo, not delighted at this situation, but delighted at my pain. Because she knows I’m still being stupid. She knows something I don’t. She still has the upper hand.

Well, unless Theo has already secretly married Stella at the insistence of her very
protective and bulky family, I can’t understand what she possibly knows… unless she’s laughing because she gets her happily ever after and she knows I’ll be nothing more than a big mess for the rest of my life.

Despite all my
stupidity – thinking I had a moment with Calvin – I realise now that the only person who believed the delusion that I could be happy was me. Calvin is
marrying
Tiggy, kiss or no kiss with me –
I’m
deluded to think otherwise. I’m sure the cherry on the top of Tiggy’s perfect wedding cake is that Theo breaks my heart on the day she begins her happily ever after. Not that he can break my heart when I never actually loved him to begin with, but she doesn’t know that.

Except that manic laughter
could also be described as hysterical. Hysterical laughter from a woman who looks ready to explode. Now I don’t like where I’m stood halfway between Theo and Tiggy because Tiggy looks like she is about to drop
the
magma-sized bomb.

‘Then why are you still sleeping with me?’ Tiggy wails.

And there it is.

For a second, it’s so quiet that I can hear all the minute sounds that usually pass me by. And then it gets loud, really loud, but whilst I can see Tiggy and Theo’s mouths moving frantically, angrily, at one another, I have no desire to let the chirps of baby birds, or the hum of the light breeze that has finally picked up interrupt their ugly words. I want to enjoy this connection with nature before my human instinct kicks in because, when it kicks in, I’m still not sure whether it will be fight or flight. I won’t be fighting Tiggy or Stella or whoever else for Theo – I will definitely be fleeing in that sense – but there’s part of me that wants to hear this story. I have to fight the part of me that wants to walk away.

I should w
alk away and leave Theo, leave South Africa, and leave
New News
when I get back to London – maybe even leave London – so that’s what I decide to do when I see that Theo and Tiggy are too absorbed in fighting to pay any attention to me. There’s certainly a passion there. Why didn’t I see it before? Tiggy must have been wetting herself knowing she was sleeping with my boyfriend – I bet she loved that.

I walk
with the intention of leaving the manor as soon as I grab my passport and a credit card, but of course I get stopped by the two people I would have preferred to avoid.

‘Hey, Geli
… Geli,’ Calvin softly says, stopping me and placing his arms around me. ‘Why are you crying? What’s wrong?’

I didn’t even realise I was.

‘Angelica, what’s wrong?’ That’s Dad.

‘They’re sleeping together,’ I wail, burrowing my head in Calvin’s chest.

I feel his arms tighten around me, drawing me into his embrace. Nothing matters except Calvin’s embrace and that light, refreshing breeze now it’s finally picked up.

‘Theo and Tiggy?’ D
ad asks sharply.

‘Yes,’ I mur
mur. Calvin’s embrace tightens at my assent and my arms tighten around his back. I don’t want him to let go. My body is humming its delight at this close proximity to Calvin. I’m amazed I’m still capable of feeling anything like that given what I’ve just found out, that love is pointless, that people can lie and deceive and cheat and
pretend
.

‘Well
…,’ is all Dad can splutter.

Then
he’s silent and that makes me snap. ‘You wonder why I hate her!’

I
lift my head up from Calvin’s mascara-soaked shirt. He doesn’t let me go though as I yell, and I really need to yell. Maybe breaking something would help too, perhaps Theo and Tiggy’s necks. If I’m not going to shout at them though, then I’m going to shout at someone. Who better than the champion of Tiggy Boodles, the
believer
of her lies.

‘She’s exactly like her mother,’ I
screech. ‘Where do you think she’s learnt her tactics from? Who do you think convinced you wrongly about Mum and John at the time? They are both manipulative, lying bitches.’

My
, that felt good, but not as good as Calvin’s fingers tracing back and forth over my back. One turn of my head, one look upwards, and I’ll know. I’ll know whether there’s hope on this bleak day, not that I should even be hoping that. Calvin isn’t as bad as them, but he still
cheated
on Tiggy by kissing me. Is love not precious to anyone? I suppose that applies to me too. 

‘Angelica!’

It seems a lifetime ago when I told Dad I wanted to be a grown-up, to forget the childish past, but look where being trusting and naïve got me?
Nowhere
.

‘It’s true,’ I spit out. ‘First Eric, now Theo. She’s after my job too. Well, she can have
it. I’m sick of it all.’

I guess I must have been shouting quite loudly because the next thing Calvin is drawing me cl
oser to him, Tiggy is screaming and there’s an almighty thump that silences one of the voices.

‘You stupid bitch
,’ Tiggy is yelling at me.   

I look up. Theo is knocked out on the flo
or, Dad is rubbing his knuckles and Calvin is looking at Tiggy in disgust. As for Tiggy, she looks manic.

‘Look what
you’ve
done,’ she screeches. 

Tiggy
looks demented; her arms are bearing the red traces of where Theo roughly grabbed her, or maybe where I pummelled her. The force which inflicted those marks upon her is more shocking than her insane glare. That’s not me. It may be Theo – I know he likes to be rough, doesn’t even realise he’s inflicting pain and not pleasure – but,
it’s not me
.

‘You jealous bitch,’ she flings at me.

I
’m not going to take this from
her
, not this time. ‘Me?’ I yell back. ‘Oh right, because
I
made you sleep with Theo.
I
made you cheat on Calvin.
I
made you destroy everything.’

I can feel
the anger bubbling back up inside me. My shock at the tell-tale marks of violence on her has subsided because now I want to show her
real
violence for that remark. How dare she blame me?

‘You did
,’ she screams. ‘I was this close to having him. This.
Close
.’ She gestures with her thumb and finger. ‘And you ruined it.’

I feel Calvin tense underneath me. We both know Tiggy
is referring to Theo. How could she choose Theo, how could she want
him
over Calvin? Theo with his crazy looks and violent tendencies, his lack of respect for women, his lack of shame in his actions – how could she want that over a man who is man enough to be honest and open? A man like Calvin who hasn’t left my side.

I glance up at him, but he’s not meeting the eye of anyone – not any of the crowd now formed around us – yet he’s still tracing his fingers back and forth over me. Soothing me
. If the wedding guests aren’t going to a wedding this afternoon, they will get adequate entertainment from this debacle. Instead of delight, they get disgust – disgust I fear is aimed at me. I’m the sabotaging stepsister in the groom’s arms, and my
love
for Tiggy is known amongst the limited number here to celebrate this
special
day. Of course they’ll blame me. I see Tiggy’s Uncle Marv curl up his lip in disgust; her Aunt Jane shakes her head.

Everyone is staring at Tiggy
and I, waiting no doubt for me to answer Tiggy, but I’m not going to give her the satisfaction. It’s Calvin who finally breaks the silence.

‘To having him?
’ he coldly asks, jerking his head down at Theo, who is coming round. I’m secretly impressed Dad did that, that he took my side, and that he can still stick up for me against a terrifying man half his age.

‘No, to you.’ S
he pouts quickly. ‘You’re all I want, Cal.’ She takes a step forward to plead with him, but he’s still holding me tight. ‘And now because Theo has dumped her, she’s trying to split us up. I don’t know why she’s saying these things,’ she spits at me, like I am the instigator of all of this. And, I mean, she actually
spits
at me
.

I hear gasps
from around me; the guests look even more appalled, but they didn’t see the passion blazing between Theo and Tiggy like I did. All they see is this twisted scenario – Theo on the floor, Tiggy in hysterics and me being held tightly by the groom. I know this looks like I have hustled the bride’s love away from her. They are oblivious to the truth – the truth being that the bride has chosen the bridesmaid’s boyfriend over her groom. That is major
Trouble
with a capital T, even by my standards.  

‘I don’t think so,’ I state quite
loudly. ‘You’ve just told me he’s having someone else’s baby and you’ve been seeing him whilst I have. In fact,’ I say slowly as the penny drops, ‘you gave him it, didn’t you?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, you deluded cow, but get your hands off my husband,’ she says, trying
to keep her voice level.

I hear the flicker
– of course I do, I’ve had
years
of experience dealing with Tiggy Boodles. She
has
been sleeping with Theo and I bet Dad’s flat deposit that she gave him the STI that he then gave to me.
Tiggy Boodles gave me herpes.
Not only has she stolen two boyfriends from me, she’s finally managed to give me what our first boyfriend gave her. What goes around really does come around, and I feel nauseous at the thought.

‘You filthy cow,’ I hiss at her. ‘Just what is your problem?’

But before she can answer, Calvin speaks in his low voice and tells her he’ll never be her husband, which is met by gasps from the crowd. He stares away into the distance, his fingers still on my back – our bodies still unnecessarily close.

I don’t know whether it is because of Calvin’s closeness
, or the fact I’ve rumbled her – I’m not sure she even heard him – but she flips. She goes drip white, her body shaking uncontrollably.

‘You, Geli Voyante’ she
throws at me. ‘
You
are my problem.
Everyone
bloody loves
you
. I had to bribe Eric to dump you to get with me and look what that got me. He made me a laughing stock.’ She laughs, hysterically. ‘So yeah, I slept with Theo, and I’m glad he passed it onto you, because guess what? You deserve it!’ She roars this at me.

There is a gasp from the crowd as they twig what Tiggy is alluding to. What were evil looks
at me are now looks of disgust at her, and these are members of her own family. Bet they wish they hadn’t bothered coming.

‘You knew I loved Theo as m
uch as you did, but oh no,’ she blazes on. ‘He doesn’t want me like that. All he could do was harp on about you and then when he finally gets you, he only goes and falls in love with you. Why you?’ she demands. ‘Why not me? What have you got that I haven’t?’

I feel like telling her
I have a soul, but Calvin speaks first. ‘What about me?’ he asks.

‘I thought if Theo realised he couldn’t have me, then he’d want me. I thought he only wanted what he
couldn’t have,’ she tries to rationalise, mainly to herself.

S
he doesn’t even look ashamed by her admission, she doesn’t seem to realise how much she is hurting Calvin. Calvin doesn’t even react to her psychotic babbling. He just lets go of me and walks away. I realise now he was tracing a heart over and over on my back.

‘But
that’s what I’ve been trying to say, Calvin,’ she shouts. ‘Theo didn’t matter when I met you. I love you,’ she yells after him, unable to follow as Dad blocks her way.

‘I think you have some explaining to do, Antigone,’ he s
ays sternly.

He looks dazed and a little confused
by all of this, and his knuckles look sore from where he punched Theo. Theo is now sat up on the floor, stroking his face in interest. I ignore him as he tries to catch my eye – I’m more interested in Tiggy’s next lie.

‘You’re not my father, so get the fuck
out of my way,’ she snarls.