Get a Grip (Hollywood Nights) (11 page)

             
She blinked at him, opened and then closed her mouth, blinked again.

             
“So what is going on then?” he practically growled it at her. He had been more patient with this woman than he had with anyone in his life. He wasn’t always easy going. He had practiced this state of being and he didn’t want to lose it.

             
“I don’t know,” she said with a break in her voice and then a sob.

             
If there was anything he hated more than being mad it was watching her cry. He didn’t like being mad at anyone. He could deal with crying women when it came to anyone other than his mother, his sister, and now his wife. “Try me.”

             
She launched into the history of her insecurity. Her battle with her sister, her constant stress and worry over every part, the rejection of man after man because she wouldn’t give it up to them. And finally she admitted, “Adele is beautiful. She is blonde, blue eyes, big boobs. I mean she’s everything I’m not.”

             
“And I thank God for that!” He couldn’t hold back his laugh. The thought of Ivy, an award winning actress jealous of Adele, and award winning bitch was beyond logic. “She didn’t always look like that. She isn’t really
that
blonde, those are not really her boobs. Not to mention the fact that she is a manipulative and cruel woman.”

             
“Oh.” Ivy sniffed. “She looks…”

             
“She’s a better actress than you are,” he said it and meant it. Her eyes opened wide in surprise at the statement. She was having an identity crisis and the words no doubt stung, but he hoped he could explain what he meant by them in a way she understood. “You pretend for entertainment. She does it for sport in real life.”

             
“But your brother…”

             
“Made the same mistake I made. He fell for the act. I guess she serves a purpose for him. I don’t know. I don’t care.” He looked at her. She started to get control of the tears. “There has to be someone else in this industry that can help you with this. There’s surely another actress who has been through this type of insecurity.”

             
She made slight gasp of a sound and then her hands went up to wipe the tears away. “You’re right. There is and she seems happier than ever now.”

             
“I know you think its crap, but some exercise and meditation would probably do you some good, sweetheart.” He sighed. What the hell was he going to do with this woman? He needed help for navigating her mood swings.

             
She gave a halfhearted smile and admitted, “I guess it can’t hurt. I used to work out three times a week and I did feel better then. I know I need to get this sorted out. I think I know how. I shouldn’t have read…”

             
“Read what?” he asked.

             
“The comments. I avoided a smart phone to avoid access, temptation. I didn’t even know my toes look like fingers in some shoes.” She looked down at her feet.

             
He groaned. “That is ridiculous. You’re a tall woman, Ivy. You have long everything. If you had short stubby toes they would look odd. Your feet are fine…this is just…”

             
“Ridiculous?” She snorted. “I know, but I can’t unread it. Now every time I put on a pair of open toe shoes I’m going to look at them and think about this.”

             
So would he, but he didn’t think that was the right thing to say. He opted to change the subject entirely. “Your family is coming over for dinner today, right?”

             
“Tomorrow.”

             
“Sweetheart, it is tomorrow.”

             
“Oh.” She settled against the couch and batted her wet eyelashes at him. “I hope you like them. I love my nieces and nephews. I tolerate everyone else. I love them, you know, but it’s complicated.”

             
“I know.”

             
She kicked up a real smile and said, “For the first time in my life I actually believe someone
does
understand how complicated family can be.”

             
He reached a hand across the couch towards her. She moved her whole body across the couch towards him. She was snuggled up against his chest in the next instant. He relaxed his arm around her and focused on the program on the television. It was a black and white movie on a classics channel. The kind of thing he might have enjoyed watching with her had she not pulled out her special brand of crazy and tossed it at him. He wanted to tie her ass up and make her submit to him in and out of the bedroom because she seemed to need control and wasn’t managing to find it on her own.

             
He knew that had been good for him when everything came out with Adele and Alex. He couldn’t take Ivy there. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch her. He didn’t want to have a traditional relationship like that. He just wanted enough to possess her and to feel possessed by her. She wouldn’t let him out of the missionary position in the bedroom and he was doing his best to move slowly in that department. Episodes like this made him want to push the issue sooner.

             
When she finally fell asleep he carried her back to bed. He crawled in next to her and looked at her from head to toe. She was beautiful. It made no sense to him why she couldn’t see that. He had been struggling to pick the right ring for her finger because nothing compared. Nothing equaled what she deserved. He was going to make her see that. One way or another, she was going to realize just how amazing she was.

***

Ivy woke up in her bed rather than on the couch as she usually did when she was home. Bo was not next to her. She bolted upright and then rushed out in a near panic to find him. She had been such a mess last night. Her emotional balance was teetering and she knew he was not going to put up with it for much longer. She didn’t want to put up with it much longer either. She needed some sense of control and she was grasping for it, but couldn’t find a strong hold.

             
She searched through the house and could not find him anywhere. Her heart thundered in her chest as the realization that he was gone began to set in. The worst possible thoughts flooded her brain. He was already done with her antics. Why shouldn’t he be?

             
She gripped the counter and took a deep breath as the room started to spin around her.

             
“You’re up.” His voice demanded her attention and everything stopped spinning and centered on him as he walked into the kitchen. He had been out in the back yard.

             
She was so relieved she practically moved him back two steps when she ran to hug him.

             
“You all right?” He returned the hug, but not as fiercely as she held him.

             
“I thought you left.”

             
He stroked her hair from the back of her head to where it ended as he said, “I’m not that guy.”

             
She eased her grip and asked, “What were you doing out there?”

             
“Stretching, thinking, breathing. That kind of crap.” He laughed.

             
She wanted to kick herself for calling it crap. He would never let her live it down it seemed. He patted her on the butt and then let her go.

             
“You want breakfast?” he asked.

             
“Do I have anything here you will eat?” She was doubtful.

             
“You know you do.” His voice dropped just a notch. The look he gave her sent heat flooding throughout her entire body. She knew she was blushing. He smiled at her and winked as he moved on to the refrigerator.

Later…

              Ivy had taken the time to make a call to New York when Bo went to gather some clothes from his house to bring to hers. He was in the best of moods. It was familiar to her. He was relaxed, comfortable, and so much like the man she knew from work. His ease always helped to make her feel at ease. He had not taken her back to bed as she hoped, but they did have a long day ahead of them and she couldn’t very well ask him to tie her down to the only place she felt remotely sane. It freaked her out that sex had brought such thoughts into her head. She pushed out naked thoughts and focused on the task at hand.

             
Ivy called the one person she knew had struggled with identity longer than anyone. Shay was gracious about it all. She talked to her without judgment and listened to the whole story. At the end of it Shay gave her the same advice Ivy had given Frankie when the media had started to take an ugly turn. Frankie wasn’t even an actress. She just happened to be the girlfriend and then wife of Jonas Gunner.

Remembering how twisted the Hollywood lifestyle could be did help her to get some perspective. She wanted to remember what it was like before she was famous, when she was just Ivy. Ivy had forgotten what it was like before she couldn’t buy groceries without people taking her picture. Shay left the conversation with a suggestion and an invitation.

             
The suggestion was to find a yoga class to take and the invitation was to the opening of the play Shopoholic. Ivy had already signed up for one and planned to discuss the other with the man that just walked in.

             
“Hey,” she said and moved to smooch him on the lips.

             
“Well hey to you.” He seemed a bit surprised.

             
She grinned and asked, “How do you feel about taking a trip to New York?”

             
“What’s in New York?” His brow arched.

             
“Shay, Jed’s wife. She is in a play and it opens soon. We are invited.” Ivy tried not to look excited and hopeful but she knew she was failing miserably at it by the look on his face.

             
“If that’s what you want.” He acquiesced. “I wouldn’t mind catching up with Jed.”

             
“Great!” She clapped her hands together. “Now all we have to do is survive this dinner.”

             
His eyebrow arched higher. She smiled a big smile at him.

             
When the family started to arrive, Ivy walked out to greet them. Her sister had a small lunch bag size cooler in her hand and Ivy asked, “What’s in that?”

             
May handed her the lunch bag and said, “Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the…”

             
Ivy threw the bag as hard as she could towards the vehicles and asked quickly, “Who has touched it?”

             
She watched as her mom and dad made their way to Bo on the porch. The kids were not far behind. May’s husband, Hank, picked up the bag.

Ivy shouted,
“Drop it!”

             
She had everyone’s attention. Hank dropped the bag and looked at it questioningly. Ivy didn’t have time to deal with him, she ran to beat her parents to Bo. She cut them off at the stairs.

             
“Ivy!” Her mother was in shock. No doubt this was not the ladylike behavior she had been raised to execute.

             
“Everyone, stop!” She held up her hands. Everyone came to a halt.

             
“Sweetheart, what’s going on?” Bo asked gently from behind her. He moved closer and she shifted her hand towards him and realized she had touched the bag with the sandwiches so she put her hand down and extended a foot towards him. He stopped, looked at her as if she was just as crazy as she was feeling.

             
She looked at her family. Her nieces were frozen in place like it was a game. They were giggling and waiting for the next move. Her nephew, the youngest of the boys, stood cross armed and annoyed. Her sister and brother-in-law were next to each other. May asked, “Well?”

             
“If you have had, have touched, just…everyone needs to wash their hands.” 

             
“Ivy, what is going on?” Her dad asked.

             
“May brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” She looked over her shoulder to Bo. He took a step back.

             
“The girls wanted them. You know they love them. What is the big deal? You act like I brought a bomb in that bag!” May huffed.

             
“You might as well have!” Ivy shouted back at her. “I told you all not to bring any nuts.”

             
“I didn’t bring nuts, I brought sandwiches!” Her sister was getting more irritated. The girls had realized this was not a game and moved to stand behind their big brother. For his part he looked back and forth between his aunt and mother as if they were on a tennis court.