Get Smart 4 - Max Smart and the Perilous Pellets (2 page)

“I’ll try to—”

“It isn’t much, I know, if you think of it in dollars and cents,” Max said. “But translate it into marbles, at three for a penny, and it would come to quite a handful.”

“I know, Max, I know,” the Chief said. “I’ll send a note to Accounting and make sure that you get your money.”

“Ahhhh, Chief . . . could I have it in marbles? It will seem like a lot more.”

“Anything you say, Max,” the Chief sighed. “Now, may we discuss the case at hand?”

Max seated himself in the chair at the other side of the Chief’s desk. “I wondered when you were going to get around to that,” he said. “You seemed pretty excited when you interrupted my shoe shine.”

“Max,” the Chief said, leaning forward, “this is the most important case you’ve ever been handed.”

“You mean the fate of the entire civilized world is hanging in the balance again, eh?”

“It’s even more drastic than that. Max, this time it’s the fate of Control that’s hanging in the balance.”

“You know what that means, Max,” 99 said.

“Right! Our jobs are at stake!” He faced back to the Chief. “Give it to me straight, Chief.”

“All right, Max, here it is. Control has acquired possession of KAOS’s ‘Little Black Book.’ That book contains data on the location, layout and organizational structure of every one of KAOS’s installations.”

“Good for us,” Max smiled. “How did we do that, Chief?”

“One of the KAOS agents left it lying on a lunch counter,” the Chief replied. “And, by a stroke of luck, the waitress who was serving him was one of
our
agents. But that’s not all, Max. Just as we acquired possession of KAOS’s Little Black Book, our Research and Development Department completed work on a compact and especially destructive explosive. This explosive is very tiny. It’s about the size—” He reached into his pocket. “Here, I’ll show you,” he said, holding out a tiny green pellet the size of a pea.

“Chief, I think I can tell you what you had for dinner the last time you wore that suit,” Max said.

“No, Max, this is it. This is the explosive. As you can see, it’s no larger than a pea.”

“Amazing!” Max said, taking the pellet from the Chief and holding it up. “It actually looks like a pea. I wonder how it would taste with roast beef?”

“Don’t try it,” the Chief warned, retrieving the pellet and putting it back into his pocket. “Now, Max, the important thing about this explosive is that it can be planted at one time and detonated any time later, and from somewhere else. In fact, from anywhere else.”

“I see. It has a long fuse, right?”

“No, Max. This explosive is electronically operated.” He pointed to a button on his desk. “If I were to punch this button, Max, every pellet, everywhere, would explode. This is the electronic control. Do you realize, Max, what would happen if I punched that button?”

Max nodded. “It would rain peas.”

“Not quite, Max. Try again.”

“Well, let’s see. There is a pea in your pocket. So that means that you would probably ruin a perfectly good suit.”

“You’re getting closer, Max. Let’s just suppose that one of these explosives had been planted in each of the KAOS installations. Then, let’s just suppose that I punched this button. Can you visualize the result?”

Max closed his eyes tightly. “Yes . . . I can see it. It looks like an early Fourth of July.”

“Exactly, Max,” the Chief said.

“Chief, how are Max and I involved in this?” 99 asked.

“Your mission, 99—and Max—is to travel to each of the KAOS installations, infiltrate, and plant an explosive. After you have done that, you are to return to Headquarters.”

“I see,” 99 said. “And then—”

The Chief nodded. “And then, I will punch the button.”

“Chief, isn’t that a little silly?” Max said. “After we’ve gone to all the trouble of planting those peas, then you’re going to blow them up?”

“And blow up the KAOS installations, too, Max,” the Chief explained.

“Oh, yes . . . I see. Very clever, Chief. I never would have thought of that.”

“That’s wonderful, Chief!” 99 enthused. “We now have the means to destroy KAOS completely for once and all!”

“Exactly,” the Chief smiled.

“Ahhh . . . one thing,” Max said. “Chief, when you opened this discussion, you told us that the fate of Control was hanging in the balance. But, the way it sounds to me, it’s the fate of KAOS that’s hanging in the balance.”

“That’s very observant of you, Max,” the Chief replied. “As a matter of fact, there’s more to the story.”

“I see. Part II, eh?”

“You might say that, yes.”

Max put his foot up on the Chief’s desk. “I suppose you’ll want to shine my shoe while you tell it.”

The Chief pushed the shoe aside. “No, I don’t believe so. But I understand what you mean. I do business with Pedro, too.”

“What is Part II, Chief?” 99 asked.

“Well, as you know, Control has—or, rather,
had
—a ‘Little Black Book’ that is similar—or, rather, identical—to KAOS’s Little Black Book. Unfortunately, one of our agents left it on a lunch counter. And, doubly unfortunately, the waitress was a KAOS agent.”

Max pounded a hand against the side of his head. “I think there’s an echo in here, Chief,” he said. “I’m hearing things twice.”

“No, it’s a different story, it just sounds the same,” the Chief said. “And, to make it even more of a coincidence, we have been informed by one of our informers at KAOS that KAOS’s Research and Development Department has developed a compact and especially destructive explosive that can be planted at one time and detonated any time later and from afar.”

“There goes that echo again, Chief,” Max complained.

“Chief,” 99 said, “could it be that at this very moment—”

“Yes,” the Chief broke in. “At this very moment, a KAOS agent is attempting to infiltrate our installations and plant the KAOS explosives. And when and if he completes the mission he is to return to KAOS Headquarters. At that time, KAOS will—” The Chief shuddered.

“Yes, yes, what?” Max asked.

“Let me put it this way . . . on the desk of the Chief at KAOS there is a button . . .”

Max pounded the side of his head again. “Chief, I’m
sure
there’s an echo in here.”

“Then it’s a race, is that it, Chief?” 99 said.

“Exactly, 99. You and Max will be attempting to plant explosives in the KAOS installations. And, at the same time, the KAOS agent will be attempting to plant explosives in the Control installations. The winner will be the winner. We’re calling this: Operation Button Button Who’ll Punch the Button!”

“If I’ve doped this out correctly,” Max said, rising, “we don’t have a second to lose. Every wasted moment puts Control in more and more danger. 99—let’s go!”

Max strode to the door, whipped it open, charged from the room, and dashed down the corridor.

The Chief shook his head woefully.

99 rolled her eyes ceilingward.

Together and in silence they waited.

A few moments later, Max reappeared in the doorway. “99—you’re not with me,” he said chastisingly.

“Max—”

“99, there’s no more time for idle chatter! That KAOS agent is out there somewhere attempting to infiltrate our installations. We should be doing the same thing.”

“Max—think,” the Chief said. “Where is it you’ll be going?”

“To infiltrate our installations.”

“Where, Max . . . ?”

“I just told you. To infil—” Max frowned, thinking. “Oh, yes, I see what you mean. Apparently, Chief, I got Part I and Part II a little mixed up. And no wonder—with that echo in here. Let’s see now, it isn’t
our
installations we’re to infiltrate, it’s
their
installations—right?”

“Right, Max!”

“Got it!” Max said. “Let’s go, 99!” Again, he charged from the room and dashed down the corridor.

The Chief covered his eyes with a hand and leaned his elbow on his desk.

99 made soft humming sounds.

Together they waited.

A few minutes later, Max returned. He entered the office, looking slightly crestfallen, and sat down again in the chair beside the Chief’s desk.

“I hate to be picky, Chief,” Max said, “but you forgot to tell us where the KAOS installations are located.”

“I’m glad you
thought
of that, Max,” the Chief said.

“I’m nothing if not thorough,” Max replied.

The Chief picked up a black satchel that was beside his chair and put it on the desk. “All the information you’ll need is in here,” he said. “I’ve had a ‘fact sheet’ prepared on each of the KAOS installations. It gives the location and a little background on the KAOS man in charge. I think you’ll find the information interesting, and I hope that, as well, you’ll find it helpful.” He opened the black satchel and got out a small plastic bag. It appeared to contain peas. “These pellets are the explosives,” he said. “Your task will be to plant one pellet at each installation.”

“There are a
lot
of peas there, Chief,” Max said. “Are there that many KAOS installations?”

The Chief shook his head. “No, Max. But I thought you’d better have an extra-large supply. I know how you misplace things.”

“Chief, that’s unfair. What did I ever lose?”

“Remember? On your last case? When the Navy loaned you the aircraft carrier ‘Lexington’?”

“Chief, the ‘Lexington’ is
not
lost. I still say it will turn up somewhere.”

“Until it does, Max, I think we’d better play it safe. Take
all
of these pellets with you.”

“What are those other things in the satchel, Chief?” 99 asked, peering over the Chief’s shoulder.

“Oh . . . these. These are some gadgets cooked up by Research & Development,” the Chief replied. “I’m not sure what they are, but the instructions are printed on the labels. They might come in handy.” He closed the satchel and handed it to Max. “Here you are. Guard this with your life.”

“Won’t I be taking a chance, carrying this little black bag?” Max said, accepting the satchel. “Someone is liable to mistake me for a doctor.”

“What harm would that do?”

“Suppose this someone asked me to take out an appendix?”

“Just explain that you don’t have time.”

“Chief! I couldn’t do that. When I received my medical degree, I swore an oath. Through rain, through snow, through dark of night, I swore to heal the sick and deliver the mail.”

“Max, number one, you have your oaths confused. And, number two, carrying a little black bag does not make you a doctor.”

“Sorry, Chief. I guess I got a little carried away.”

“And that’s what you’re going to get again,” the Chief said. “Right now, standing by at the airport, there is a helicopter waiting to carry you away. The helicopter will transport you to each of the KAOS installations.”

“A helicopter, Chief?” 99 said puzzledly. “Are the KAOS installations that close together?”

“No, they’re in widely separated parts of the world,” the Chief replied.

“But . . . doesn’t a helicopter have a limited range?” 99 said.

“Yes, normally, but—”

“99, I’m surprised,” Max broke in. “Isn’t it obvious? This helicopter can be refueled in mid-air. All around the globe there are refueling planes waiting to gas us up when we start running low. It’s exactly the way I would have planned it if I’d been planning it.”

“That isn’t exactly it, Max,” the Chief said. “You see—”

“Of course I see, Chief,” Max interrupted. “This is an electric helicopter, right? It doesn’t need fuel.”

“Max—an electric helicopter?” 99 said. “But how would—”

“Simple,” Max replied, anticipating the question. “A very, very, very, very, very
long
cord.”

“No, Max,” the Chief said, shaking his head. “You’re still not right. This is an atom-powered helicopter. It doesn’t use conventional fuel. It can stay aloft almost forever, barring any mechanical malfunctions, of course.”

Max smiled. “That’s a little difficult to believe, Chief.”

“Well, you’ll find out when you get to the airport.”

Max looked hurt. “Chief, I said, ‘That’s a little difficult to believe, Chief.’ ”

“Oh, all right, Max. Then, would you believe that it’s steam-powered and the pilot carries an extra tea kettle?”

“I don’t think so,” Max replied dubiously.

“Then would you believe that it’s water-powered and operates only over waterfalls?”

“That’s a
lit-tle
closer to it,” Max replied. “But, if you don’t mind, Chief, I’ll wait ’til I get to the airport and get a closer look at it before I decide whether or not you’re telling the truth. You won’t be offended, will you?”

“Not unless I’m subjected to more of this idiotic conversation,” the Chief replied. “Max, will you get going! The fate of Control is hanging in the balance!”

“Chief, I’m on my way,” Max said. “With Max Smart on the job, Control has nothing to fear.”

Max charged across the room, out the doorway, and down the corridor.

The Chief slumped into his chair.

99 inspected her fingernails.

A moment later, Max reappeared.

“Forget something, Max?” the Chief asked.

“Yes, as a matter of fact—”

“Here,” the Chief said, rising and handing him the black satchel.

“Oh, yes, I guess I forgot about that, too,” Max said accepting the bag.

“Was there something—or someone—else, Max?” 99 smiled, joining him.

“Come to think of it, I
did
forget you, didn’t I?” Max said.

“You mean there’s still something
else
you forgot?” the Chief asked.

“Yes. That’s why I came back,” Max replied. “I wanted to remind you, Chief. You better do something about that echo in here. Some day, at some crucial moment, it’s liable to cause some confusion.”

“I’ll take care of it, Max,” the Chief sighed, slumping back into his chair.

M
AX AND
99 hurried from Control headquarters, then, in Max’s car, raced to the airport. Reaching there, they drove to Control’s private hangar, where, on the apron, the atom-powered helicopter was warming up. The noise of the engine and rotors was deafening.

“Here we are!” Max yelled to 99 over the roar.