Getting him Back (2 page)

Mum stood up
and started to stir the casserole. ‘Tea’ll be ready soon so if you
want to go and shower I’ll dish it out when you’re done.’

I ambled
upstairs and threw myself onto my bed. I was so tired, lately; I
barely had any energy to move, let alone shower.
I wasn’t sleeping properly, you see,
because when I wasn’t tossing and turning or crying I was having
nightmares. The only thing that kept me from going to sleep now,
though, was the thought of seeing Claire later. She’d been away on
business and a month had felt like a year to me. I’d only just
split with Mark before she left so I’d had to put up with all the
misery by myself. If any of you have ever broken up with someone
after nine years, you’d know how horrible it’s been putting up with
it without a best mate to talk to. I hoped she would agree that my
plan to get back with Mark was the right one; she was a good
friend.

***

I enjoyed
visiting Claire.
I’d
first met her at University. I’d decided to attend the local
University to save money on living expenses and to stay close to
Mark; but, being braver than me, she’d travelled all the way from
London. She moved into a basement flat two streets away and she’s
still there now, five years later. She got the job I’d wanted,
marketing executive for a fashion magazine in Manchester. I didn’t
apply for it, though, because I knew Claire was applying. It was
too far away too. I wanted to stay local so I settled for the PA
position ten-minutes walk away. It would have been okay if it
wasn’t such a boring industry – furniture manufacturing. I spent
most of my days trying to make beds and coffee tables look
exciting. It was in a marketing department, though, and I hoped to
work my way up to marketing assistant before the end of the
year.

I’ve
always felt
nervous around Claire, though. One of her many job perks was that
she got to keep samples from various fashion houses and sometimes I
felt frumpy compared to her. Tonight was no exception. She answered
the door wearing some silk palazzo pants and a tight-fitting halter
neck top. Her long dark hair was tied back in a ponytail so that
her diamante hoop earrings were visible. ‘Hi, babes,’ she said,
before kissing me on the cheek – another habit she’d picked up
since mixing with all those fashionistas. I followed her into her
living room, which was a mess, as usual. I moved some newspapers
and empty plates from her suede settee and sat down. I noticed some
new stains on the cushions, too. I found it hard to believe that
somebody as pretty and well groomed as Claire could have such a
messy flat. She bent down and grabbed two dusty glasses from the
side of her chair. She opened the wine bottle she’d left on the
coffee table and started to pour. ‘So? How’ve you been, babes?’ she
asked.

‘
You
know - same
as usual.’

‘
It’s
been a month since you guys split. You need to move on now, don’t
you think?’ She took a sip from her glass, leaving a huge red
lipstick ring around it.

‘I try but I
can’t stop thinking about him. I need to see him. I need to see
what she’s like too. It’s like an obsession or something.’

‘
Listen
to me…you know how I’ve just started that meditation class? Well
they tell you that you need to let things go if you want to have
inner calm.’

‘
Well let
them have their inner calm if they want. The only way I’ll get
inner calm is if I can get to see her…’

‘I don’t know
what you want to see her for.’ She stood up and smoothed her pants,
which were getting creased.

‘I don’t know
why either. I suppose I just want to see what she’s got that I
don’t.’

Claire tutted
and shook her head.

‘What’s up with
you?’ I asked.

‘It doesn’t
matter what she’s like. He chose her. There’s nothing wrong with
you – it’s just one of those things.’

‘
I just
think that if I see her, get to know her somehow, so I can be more
like her, then I can find out how to get him to want me
back.’

Claire stood up
and made her way to the door leading into the kitchen. ‘I can’t
listen to this. Do you want a bag of crisps?’

‘
Go on
then.’ I could never say no to a bag of crisps, especially if they
were
Cheese
and Onion
flavour. We
both shoved crisps into our mouths, while Claire flicked the
channels on the television, finally settling on a music
channel.

Claire
finally caved
and spoke
first. ‘What do you mean, you want him back? How can you after what
he did.’

‘
I love
him, though. You don’t know what that’s like.’

She rolled her
eyes, ‘Yeah, well I don’t need a man. I can look after myself. I
don’t want a man throwing his dirty underpants around my flat.’

I wanted to
tell her that it wouldn’t make any difference if he did, her flat
was that chaotic, but I thought better of it. ‘Yeah, well I don’t
need a man either. I just want Mark.’

Obviously
lost for words, Claire continued to stare at Shakira’s wriggling
hips on the television. ‘I suppose you’re going to say that Mark
wouldn’t have left you if you looked like that,’ she said pointing
to the screen.

Claire
could be quite nasty at times. I sometimes thought I only stayed
friends with her because I had no other friends. ‘I wasn’t going to
say that at all
,’ I
replied.

She
shrugged her shoulders. ‘All I’m saying is that you’re better off
without him and it wouldn’t matter if you looked like Shakira or
Anne Widdecombe because he doesn’t want you back. Get over it for
your own sake.’

I
realised that Claire was never going to see sense and so I told her
I was going home. I’d only been there for a couple of hours but I
refused to spend
any
more time with somebody who wouldn’t understand that I had to get
Mark back and that the only way to do it was to become friends with
his PA.

Chapter
Four

Catherine
placed another mouthful of rice into her
delicate mouth. She looked amazing. She’d had her
hair cut into a geometric bob, which sharpened her round face and
gave her some cheekbones. She’d dyed it a darker brown and it shone
whenever the light hit it. Graham looked good too. He’d put gel on
his mousy hair and it looked funky and cool. He’d dressed casually
in khaki combats, white t-shirt, and black leather
jacket.

‘So how are you
doing, pet?’ Graham asked, his face showing concern like a parent
trying to comfort an injured child.

‘I’m fine,
considering,’ I said, taking a forkful of Cantonese chicken and
putting it into my mouth. The flavour was hot and made me cough. I
took a sip of my lager.

Mum
started patting me on the back. ‘We can’t take you anywhere,’ she
said with a giggle. I felt embarrassed that Mum still kept treating
me like a child. It was Mum’s fiftieth birthday and since Dad was
no longer with us, Catherine and I had decided to take her to her
favourite Chinese restaurant. I was glad because it meant I could
have a good heart-to-heart with Catherine later, now that they were
staying at our house. Since Dad and Catherine moved out it was just
Mum and me, and the house sometimes felt too big for just the two
of us. As great as Mum was, she’d sided with Claire when it came to
Mark. She said she’d never forgive him for what he’d done to me and
she meant it too. Mum held grudges. Mark’s name had been added to
her grudge list, right underneath Dad’s. ‘Terri’s trying to forget
about “you-know-who” and get on with her life. Isn’t that right?’
Mum said, before taking a sip of her red wine.

‘I guess.’
There was no point in arguing. I saw Catherine and Graham exchange
looks.

Catherine
smiled at me. ‘We can have a good girly talk later can’t we,
Tez?’

My mood
brightened. ‘That would be great.’

***

Graham
headed to bed first and my mum seemed to hang around for ages
making small talk. I wanted to speak to Catherine alone. I rarely
got to see her these days and although
Mum didn’t see her much either, I needed some
big-sisterly advice on how to get Mark back. After an hour of
drinking wine and listening to music, Mum could no longer keep her
eyes open so she went to bed.

‘Thank God for
that – I thought she’d never go,’ I said collapsing onto the
settee, my legs outstretched.

‘It is her
birthday!’ Catherine put her feet up as well. ‘So, come on then –
what do you wanna talk about?’

‘I know Mum
told you I was over Mark, but I’m not. I want him back, Cat. What
do you think I should do?’

Catherine
looked up at the ceiling, her fingertips brushing her forehead. It
was her way of trying to look intelligent. ‘Do you want my brutally
honest opinion?’

‘I wanna know
what I should do…’

‘After what he
did to you I wouldn’t want anything else to do with him.’ She
sipped her wine and avoided eye contact.

‘I know all
that – but I can’t help still being in love with him can I? I don’t
want anyone else. I know if I don’t get back with him then I’ll be
on my own forever.’

Catherine
laughed. ‘Oh my God, you’re so dramatic. You might not think you’ll
meet anyone else like him, but believe me, you’ll meet someone
better than him – I did.’

‘
Yeah,
but you weren’t engaged before Graham, were you? Me and Mark were
together nine years!’

‘
What
does that matter? I’ve been in love before, too.’

‘
Ok, ok,
I know all that, I still want to know how I can get back with him
though. What should I do?’

Catherine sat
up and stretched. ‘I don’t know. Phone him. Tell him you miss him
and you’d like to go out as friends and catch up.’

‘That won’t
work. Ever since we cancelled the wedding and sorted all that mess
out he hasn’t spoken to me. The last thing he said was that he
hoped I’d get over it.’

‘
Oh,
bully for him. He sounds a right prat, Tez. I always knew he
was.’

‘
He’s
not. I know he won’t go out with me though – not even as friends.
He’s got a new girlfriend now and she’d probably go mad
anyway.’

‘Is he on
Facebook?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Can you still
see his wall?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well then.
Find out what he is up to and accidently bump into him.’

I
couldn’t believe that I hadn’t thought of Facebook. It was perfect.
She was bound to be on there. I would find out everything I could
about her and then I would accidently bump into her, not him. I
would be her new friend and then I would become her enemy. My plan
was perfect. I ran to get my laptop so Catherine could help
me.

Chapter
Five

I’d never
been so happy to see Facebook. I must admit, I was starting to get
a little bit bored with it; all people seemed to do was bitch at
each other and fall out. And, I knew for a fact that some of the
girls from my old school had touched up their photos – how else
would Lisa’s spotty skin look so smooth and tanned?
It took a while to load but the
first thing I noticed when I looked at Mark’s page was the new
photo. It used to be one of us together from our holiday in Vegas,
but it had now been callously replaced by one of him with her!
Catherine took out her glasses from her handbag. Her mouth dropped
open. ‘She’s not that nice, Tez,’ she said, obviously trying to
make me feel better, as in my eyes she was absolutely gorgeous.
They both had their arms around each other’s waists and they were
smiling into the camera. I moved my face closer to the laptop and
stared intensely at this girl. She had long, glossy, brown hair and
dark eyes. Her skin was tanned and her white, cropped-top and mini
skirt showed her slim, toned figure off to perfection. Her teeth
were straight and white and she had a smattering of freckles across
her snub nose which gave her an “all-American” look, which I
envied. She was the total opposite of me. My naturally curly red
hair was frizzy in comparison to hers and mine stopped growing once
it reached my shoulders; hers was halfway down her back. My light,
grey eyes felt dull compared to her sparkling peepers and my size
12 figure felt flabby and hideous next to her tiny frame. They do
say men go for the opposite of their partner when they are looking
for an affair and I realized that there was no way on earth he
would have me back now. Why would he want a frump like me when he
was with a supermodel? I turned my attention to Catherine. ‘I don’t
know who you’re looking at, Cat, but she’s gorgeous!’

Catherine shook
her head and took off her glasses, ‘Nah, she’s a dog. A cheap,
tart. He’ll soon get bored of her. Girls like her are ten-a-penny
round here.’

‘Well I haven’t
seen that many girls like her, I can tell you.’

‘Yeah, well
she’s too obvious. That hair and tan are false for a start and her
boobs probably are too. You’re much nicer than her, Tez.’

I was getting
fed up with Catherine now. She was trying too hard to make me feel
better but it wasn’t working. I’d seen the picture. I’d seen the
smiles on their faces and their arms around each other. They were
happy. ‘Why would he want me when he’s got her?’ I said,
despondently.

‘
Because
you’re gorgeous; with your red curls and big blue eyes. You’re
loads of fun too. She’s probably boring.’ She sipped some more
wine.