Getting Lucky (14 page)

“Anyway,” she said. “She raised me similarly. She felt like teaching me to solve my own problems did me more good than solving them for me. So I’m pretty self-reliant. I would have thought that would mean I wouldn’t miss her as much or wouldn’t…notice her being gone as much…” She shook her head. “That sounds cold. I don’t mean it like that. I’ve been living on my own, in another city. And I missed her while I was gone, but she was always just a phone call away. Now…” Hope trailed off and her smile was definitely sad this time. “Now she’s not, and it
feels
different.”

TJ felt as if his insides were being pulled in a million directions. Michelle had certainly had her emotional turmoil, but he didn’t remember feeling connected to those emotions himself, as if he was being stretched tight and twisted along with her.

“I know exactly what you mean,” Delaney said. “I positively ache sometimes with how much I miss my sister and Rafe. Without them here…everything is different.”

Hope nodded. “The world changed in a heartbeat.”

TJ curled his fingers into her side where his hand rested and he cleared his throat. He wanted to make this better but was at a loss. He might need to pull Tucker aside later for some tips about comforting a woman who had lost someone close. He had experience with distraught women. One at least.

Michelle had certainly shed her share of tears. But he didn’t know what to do with a woman who had an actual problem, who’d had a true loss. Michelle had cried to get his attention, to keep him close, to be sure she was his priority and that he knew she needed him. Hope was here, in his kitchen, in his
life
, because she wanted to meet her father and his happened to be the house where she’d landed. She hadn’t come to TJ specifically. She hadn’t come to Sapphire Falls for help or support or sympathy. And she wasn’t trying to wrap TJ around her finger so that she would never be alone and would never have to face her mistakes or responsibilities on her own.

Hope was not Michelle. That was a good thing.

He didn’t know what to do with a woman like Hope, because she was not like Michelle. That was probably
not
a good thing.

“It’s funny the things I miss,” Hope said. “Not the big things as much as hearing her singing while she gardened, her homemade lavender ice cream and the way she always got the words wrong to ‘Burning Love’. Things that didn’t seem important at the time but now…”

“‘Burning Love’?” TJ asked, desperate to take the sadness out of her voice and eyes. “The Elvis song?”

Hope smiled at him and nodded. “Yep. It was always Elvis in the garden.”

“
Lavender
ice cream?” Delaney asked.

“It’s so good,” Hope said, enthusiasm sneaking into her tone. “And lavender is so good for so many things. Definitely for relaxation and soothing your senses. Have you ever used it?” she asked Delaney.

“Used lavender?” Delaney asked. “I don’t think so. What do you mean?”

“How do you cope?” Hope asked Delaney. “When the sadness gets so strong or when you can’t sleep at night because of the memories? Or when you’re not sleeping because you’re worried about your responsibilities now that they’re gone?”

A flicker of surprise crossed Delaney’s face. “How did you know that?”

“Know what?” Hope asked.

“That I have responsibilities that I’m worried about since they died?”

Hope straightened and TJ saw a flash of surprise in her eyes as well. She glanced at TJ and then cleared her throat. “Um, I…sensed it.”

“Sensed what?” Tucker asked.

Hope sighed, almost as if she didn’t want to answer. TJ stroked his hand up and down her side and felt her relax.

“I sensed that she has heightened anxiety when talking about her sister and her husband not being here.”

Tucker shifted on his seat and it was clear he was agitated. “Of course she has anxiety about that. She’s sad. She lost her sister and best friend.”

Hope hesitated. She pressed her lips together and said nothing. But TJ saw concern in her eyes as she looked at Delaney. Her concern was for Delaney, not about Tucker’s reaction. But she was trying to respect Tucker as well.

That made TJ’s heart twinge. He loved Delaney. She was one of his closest friends, was making his brother incredibly happy and was the caretaker for four young boys TJ loved dearly. He wanted her to be happy, and if Hope was concerned about her, so was he.

Crazy as that seemed.

Again, he ran his hand up and down her side. “It’s okay,” he told her. He focused on Tucker. “Hope is very intuitive. Just listen.”

Tucker didn’t say anything, but his concerned frown didn’t ease much.

Delaney met Hope’s gaze. “What were you going to say?”

Hope glanced at TJ and he gave her a nod.

She took a deep breath. “I know you’re sad. And you miss them. But your emotion changes when you talk about them being gone. Not about losing them or missing them, but the idea of being without them. That’s different, right?” she asked gently.

Delaney nodded.

“What do you think about when you think about them being gone?” Hope asked.

“I became the guardian to my four nephews,” she said. “I worry about them.”

TJ saw the tension in Tucker’s body and he sympathized with his brother. He knew that Tucker wanted to take care of Delaney and the boys and he wanted to believe he was making everything better for them. And he was. There was no question there. Delaney would be the first to say so. But that didn’t mean she didn’t worry. TJ got that. He knew Tucker got that. Even their own mother, who had four grown sons, all of whom were doing very well for themselves, still worried.

“Of course you do,” Hope said. “And that’s natural. You need to stop fighting it.”

Delaney’s eyes widened. “What?”

Hope nodded. “You worry. Then you fight to
not
worry because you want to trust that everything is okay. You think if you’re worried, you’re not trusting. But it’s normal to worry, so ignoring it and fighting it and telling yourself that by worrying, you’re somehow failing, is tying you up.”

There were several long seconds of silence, and TJ felt a little tied up himself. He didn’t want Hope pissing Tucker off or hurting Delaney, but for some reason he didn’t want her to keep quiet either. No one had talked to him more than this woman in months. Maybe ever. Most people respected his silence and clear desire to deal with things on his own. No one kept at him after he flat-out said he didn’t want to talk about something, not even his brothers.

And yet talking wasn’t so painful with Hope. Maybe because he sensed that she truly cared and was talking to him because she was interested and wanted to help.

Maybe because he sensed she was right.

About him. And about Delaney.

Delaney was happy here, and was healthier and more at peace than when she’d arrived by far, but there were still dark circles under her eyes at times and worry lines around her eyes. He supposed that was normal in a mom of four. No matter how many other people she had helping her and supporting her.

“That’s exactly what I do,” Delaney finally said quietly.

Tucker made a soft growling sound. “Laney—”

She turned to him. “I fight it because I know that I don’t really need to worry. The boys are great. You’re amazing, Tuck. Everyone is happy and healthy and safe. But it’s like I can’t turn it off. So then I try to turn it off. I tell myself it’s stupid and I have to stop, but that almost makes it worse.”

Tucker stared at her for a long moment. Finally, he breathed out. “I worry too. And fight it.”

Delaney’s smile spread slowly but surely. “You do?”

“Of course. I worry about them and you and about you worrying about them.”

Delaney put her hand on his cheek. “I love you.”

“I know.”

The look that passed between them was intimate and intense and full of love and happiness, and for a moment, TJ’s heart clenched hard. He heard Hope sigh beside him and he looked at her. She was smiling at Tucker and Delaney.

Delaney finally turned back to Hope. “Why do I feel like you have a solution to my sleeplessness and worry?”

Hope shook her head. “I can’t take the worry away. Like I said, that’s normal. But I can teach you to put it into perspective and not let it rule your sleep and not let it take over. You have to stop
fighting
and accept it. Acknowledge it.”

“How?”

“Meditation. Yoga. Some essential oils.”

Delaney looked intrigued. “Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“I know nothing about essential oils.”

“I know
a lot
about essential oils,” Hope said with a light laugh. “I’m a healer. Been practicing all my life.”

There was a heartbeat where no one seemed to know what to say. TJ wanted
someone
to ask her what she meant, but it couldn’t be him. He was supposed to know some of this about her. Wasn’t he?

“Healer?” Tucker finally asked. “You’re a doctor?”

Hope shook her head. She reached for Delaney’s hand again and turned it over, palm up. She pressed her thumb into Delaney’s hand just below
her
thumb and rubbed slowly. “A nurse, actually.”

Tucker’s eyes widened and TJ worked not to react. She was a nurse? A
real
nurse?

“No kidding,” Tucker replied.

Hope nodded. “Finished my nursing degree almost two years ago. I’ve been working with a company since then, taking various short-term assignments in different places.”

“In hospitals?” Delaney clarified.

“A couple of hospitals. A couple of clinics. Usually they send us to fill in temporarily in understaffed areas. I’ve been on an Indian Reservation, in rural Iowa, in the inner city in Atlanta. All over. It’s been amazing,” Hope said.

“And most recently you were back home with your mom?” Tucker asked.

TJ liked this. Like when his father had been here, this was a chance for him to learn about Hope.

She nodded, still rubbing Delaney’s hand. “I’d seen a variety conditions and situations, and I saw what our medical model can do—and what it can’t.” She took a deep breath. “My mom has always been a healer. She’s the one people come to when all else fails. She
was
the one,” Hope corrected herself.

Delaney reached out with her other hand and squeezed Hope’s hand.

Hope looked at her. “Damn, it’s hard to get used to talking about her in the past tense.”

Delaney gave her a smile. “I still talk about Chelsea and Rafe like they’re here.”

Hope breathed deeply again and TJ worked on not digging his fingers into her as he held her. His arm wasn’t around her because she needed his comfort. It was a show. But there was no denying the urge to pull her into his lap and hold her tight.

“Anyway, my mom was a holistic healer. I grew up with the role model of helping others heal,” Hope went on. She moved Delaney’s hands so that she could press and rub on the other one. “She taught meditation and knew everything about herbs and oils and natural remedies. She was also an amazing listener. She could get anyone to open up to her about anything.”

Like mother like daughter
, TJ thought.

“Holy crap, that feels so good,” Delaney said, staring at her hands. “I actually—” She looked up at Hope with a puzzled frown. “I feel less tension in my shoulders.”

Hope smiled as if that was exactly what she’d expected. “Acupressure points for stress and anxiety. I can teach you. Give me your foot.”

Delaney immediately kicked her sandals off. Hope scooted her chair back, moving closer to TJ, and patted her lap. Delany put her foot up on Hope’s leg.

Hope put the pad of her thumb on the bottom of Delaney’s foot between her second and third toes. She dragged her thumb about a third of the way down Delaney’s foot and then pressed.

Delaney moaned. “Oh my God.”

Tucker looked at her, seeming concerned and very interested at the same time. “Feel good, babe?”

Delaney’s head fell back and she closed her eyes. “So good.”

Tucker turned wide eyes to Hope. “Wow.”

Hope chuckled and continued kneading the bottom of Delaney’s foot. “Acupressure can be amazing. For a lot of things. There are points for sinus congestion, nausea, fear, quitting smoking, libido.”

“Libido?” Tucker asked. “As in sex drive?”

Hope nodded. “Definitely. Acupressure on the right points can increase the drive and can make orgasms stronger.”

“You don’t need to push on any special spots,” Delaney told him teasingly.

“Oh, I just happen to know all of
your
special spots,” Tucker replied easily.

“Well,” Hope said. “It won’t
hurt
to press on a few specific places.” She gave Tucker a wink.

“You can teach me those spots?” he asked.

“Or I can teach Delaney and she can push on her own spots,” Hope said lightly.

Tucker gave her a full-blown, sincere smile. “You have that knowledge and you went into the medical field instead of acupressure and herbs and stuff?” Tucker asked.

“I, like so many people, was skeptical.” Hope motioned Tucker forward. She stood and let Tucker slide into her chair. TJ straightened, missing having her close within seconds.