Getting to Happy (48 page)

“You were supposed to do as much as you could. Didn’t you hear the teacher? She showed you how to modify the poses.”

“Why was her voice so soft?” Robin asks.

“She was talking to us in her ‘inside’ voice. That’s what I tell my grandkids to use. It did seem a little weird hearing a grown-up talking like that.”

“I could barely hear her,” Savannah says.

“Because you weren’t listening,” Bernadine says.

“She was whispering.”

“What I really liked was when she sprayed that little mist of lavender water on us as we were leaving,” Gloria says.

“I liked that, too,” Savannah says.

“I don’t think yoga is my cup of tea, though,” Gloria says.

“I’m definitely coming back,” Robin says.

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t try it again. I suppose I need to be more open-minded,” Savannah says.

“Anyway, I’ll meet you guys at my house,” Bernadine says.

“How long will it take us to learn how to meditate?” Gloria asks.

“Yeah, Swami Bernie,” Savannah says. “You promised us lunch after our morning of spiritual enlightenment.”

“Ten minutes,” Bernadine says.

“Okay, so the first thing you do is close your eyes, inhale and then exhale.”

“You know, I think this is the major reason we’re all alive, Bernie,” Savannah says.

Robin giggles. They’re sitting on Bernadine’s kitchen chairs, which have been pulled away from the table.

“She’s got a point,” Gloria says. “What’s the trick to doing this?”

“There is no trick. If you guys would shut the hell up long enough so I can finish showing you, maybe we could all see what it feels like to be relaxed.”

“I am relaxed,” Gloria says.

“I am, too,” Savannah says.

“I’m a little hyper myself,” Robin says. “You guys, stop messing with Bernie. This is kind of a big deal to her. Besides, people in India have been doing this and yoga for centuries, so there must be something to it. Keep going, Bernie.”

“Okay, so the whole idea is to inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Do it slowly.”

“How many times?” Robin asks.

“You don’t count, Robin. Anyway, if you guys would just let me finish explaining, we can try it and you can see for yourself how it makes you feel.”

“Can’t see if your eyes are closed,” Savannah says. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist. Okay,” she says. “I’m being quiet and paying attention.”

“So when you inhale, try to do it on the count of four. And when you exhale, on the count of seven.”

“Why’d you change the guidelines already?” Gloria asks.

“I’m not answering that. Anyway, the idea is to focus on each breath. All you want to do is keep your mind on your breathing.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” Savannah asks.

“By trying it, Savannah. This is the deal. Your mind is going to jump all over the place. The idea is each time it happens, bring your focus back to your breathing. And that’s it.”

“That’s it?” Robin asks.

“I can do that,” Gloria says.

“Let’s try it,” Savannah says. “Wait. Why do we want to do this again?”

“I told you to Google it so I wouldn’t have to explain it.”

“I forgot,” Savannah says.

“Me, too,” Robin says.

“I made a mistake and looked up
mediate
instead of
meditate,
and then Diamond fell and busted her lip, so I never got back around to it.”

“Is this the same way you did it in rehab?” Robin asks.

“At first.”

“I just want to know what they showed you that’s made you such a believer,” Savannah says.

“All the yoga teacher kept telling us to do was focus on our breathing, too. So there’s something to this whole breathing thing. What is it? Break it down so we know what we’re supposed to be looking for,” Robin says.

“That’s just it. You’re not supposed to be
looking
for anything. At first we did the breathing exercise I just described. But then they told us to become aware of our thoughts and especially the disturbing ones.”

“Like what?” Robin asked.

“Like when you feel anger and hurt and resentment and worry and fear, to name a few. Anyway, they told us to imagine that when we inhale, we’re breathing in hope and vitality, and when we exhale, we’re breathing out hurt and anger. You can breathe in faith and confidence and breathe out doubt and despair. And so on.”

“No shit,” Savannah says. “And you think it works?”

“I don’t hate James.”

“You mean you forgave him?” Robin asks.

“I didn’t make a conscious decision. I just didn’t feel any of it the more I did this. I can’t explain it.”

“You don’t have to,” Savannah says.

“So this is why you’ve been so upbeat since you’ve been home,” Gloria says.

“It’s not magic. All I know is when you do this breathing exercise, especially on a daily basis, you feel more focused and relaxed and even jazzed. There’s lots of different ways people meditate. All I know is it helps me concentrate better and think clearer, and I have a helluva lot more energy. Anyway, that’s pretty much it.”

“How long are you supposed to do it?” Gloria asks.

“There’s no specific time. Some people do it for five minutes at a time two and three times a day. We started out doing it a couple of minutes. By the time I left, I was up to fifteen.”

“You mean, just sitting there breathing?” Robin asks.

Bernadine nods.

“Let’s try it again,” Robin says.

“This seems a lot easier than yoga,” Savannah says.

“Okay, so you want to sit up straight and maybe put your hands in your lap, palms up.”

“Why?” Robin asks.

Bernadine lets out a long sigh. “Just do it.”

“How about some meditation music,” Savannah says.

“Yeah, that would definitely stop my mind from drifting,” Gloria says.

“I don’t have any,” Bernadine says. “We don’t need music.”

“Whatever,” Savannah says.

“Okay. Let’s try it for three minutes,” Bernadine says. “Close your eyes and breathe.”

Everybody does.

Robin peeks at Savannah and Gloria to see if their eyes are closed. They are, so she closes hers. She sees herself standing in front of a classroom. She’s laughing at something one of the kids said. Michael’s swimming in the ocean. He’s got on too much sunblock. Someone hands her a mojito. It’s the best she’s ever had. Did I pay my cell phone bill? Sparrow’s throwing another party. Russell’s at the door. Admission is a dollar.

Gloria is smiling. Her new salon is the bomb. People are flocking in. Marvin Gaye is singing “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.” Gloria is popping her fingers. Is that her on the TV? She’s now a spokesperson for Jenny Craig. She goes to visit Nickida. Opens her eyes. No frigging way. Closes them. “Has it been three minutes yet? My mind is jumping around like crazy.”

Savannah is snoring.

“Wake her ass up,” Bernadine says. “It’s been five minutes.”

“Wow,” Savannah says. She opens her eyes as if she’s waking up from a good dream. “I’m calm as can be. I’ll do this again. At home. Without an audience.”

“What about that kitten?” Robin asks.

“She doesn’t judge,” Savannah says.

“Okay, so we’ve done yoga and we’ve meditated. Can we please eat now?” Gloria asks.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Bernadine says.

White Dress

“This better be the one!” Bernadine says.

“Hurry up! We don’t have all day!” Savannah says.

“Both of you, be quiet,” Gloria whispers as she shoves Savannah, who in turn bumps into Bernadine.

They’re at a bridal salon, sitting on a round velvet sofa, surrounded by fifteen or twenty mannequins in wedding gowns.

“They don’t look very excited, do they?” Savannah says to Bernadine and Gloria.

“They’re virgins. They’re scared. Tonight’s the big night,” Bernadine says. “That one over by the window couldn’t wait. She’s pregnant. Look how she’s sucking in her stomach. Ho.”

All three burst into laughter.

“They need some plus-size brides in here,” Gloria says.

“And some maternity gowns,” Savannah says. “I don’t see any Latinas representing.”

“Asians get married in Phoenix, too,” Bernadine says.

“At least there’s one black one in here. She looks more like Britney Spears, though, doesn’t she?” Gloria asks.

Okay. So that killed a few more minutes.

Over the past couple of weeks, Robin had been to every bridal salon listed in the yellow pages. She liked this one best. Had narrowed it down to four dresses. They’d seen three. Though all of them were gorgeous, so far, none looked like they were made for Robin.

“I can’t do this by myself,” she’d said to them. “I’m too nervous. I need you guys to help me decide.”

“Hold your horses, ladies!” Robin yells from behind a white door.

A middle-aged woman, in a black tailored suit and support hose, comes out and stands in front of them. She smiles, then crosses her arms. “She’ll be out shortly, ladies. Some of the gowns take a little extra doing to get into and out of. May I get any of you a glass of water, coffee, anything?”

They shake their heads no but thanks.

“I think you’ll love this one.” She pivots like an usher and disappears behind that door.

“She should rethink those shoes,” Savannah says.

“She’s on her feet all day,” Gloria says. “I’d be in flats, too.”

“Nobody has come through that door and we’ve been here over an hour. Two-inch heels wouldn’t kill her,” Savannah says.

“Did anybody hear what Sparrow suggested Robin wear?” Bernadine asked.

“I’m afraid to hear this,” Gloria says.

“A long white slip.”

“It could work,” Savannah says.

“What do you guys think of this one?” Robin asks as she tiptoes over and stops directly in front of them. They stand up. Robin takes a few steps back so they can get a better look. Her friends don’t say a word. After Robin twirls around, all they can do is cover their mouths with both hands.

Everybody Dance Now

“Here we go again,” Savannah says with a sigh. She and Bernadine have been driving around the parking lot of the Scottsdale Princess hotel and Resort for almost ten minutes without any luck.

“There’s one!” Bernadine says as she checks her lipstick in the visor mirror. “And do us all a favor tonight, Savannah, please don’t complain about how people are dressed or how tired the band is or how the DJ is stuck in the eighties, and especially when he plays “It’s Electric”—which you already know is going to happen, okay?”

“Just so you know, I wasn’t planning on complaining about anything. I’m trying to get into the habit of not being so critical.”

“I have to see this to believe it.”

“Did I mention how snazzy you look this evening?”

Bernadine pops her upside the head. She’s wearing a dark gold dress with black spaghetti straps. It wants to shine but stops short. Savannah has on a two-tiered teal-and-cream floor-length dress. It’s cotton knit and shows some of her curves.

“You don’t look like such a slouch yourself. Now hurry up,” Bernadine says. “My feet are already killing me.”

“Yours? I just bought these suckers today. I should’ve worn them around the house a few hours to break them in.”

“Don’t tell me you plan on dancing, Savannah?”

“If the spirit moves me. You never know.”

“Did you know this is where I met James?”

“I thought it was the Biltmore.”

“Nope, right in that bar over there.”

“You never said a word about this, Bernie.”

“Well, I’m telling you now.”

“And you’re all right?”

“Do you think I’d be here if I wasn’t?”

A parade of black folks are heading inside. It looks like they’re on a moving walkway. The women are sparkling and glittering. The men are tuxedoed.

Bernadine flips her cell phone open when she feels it vibrate. “Where are you guys? Already seated? Are you the first ones there or what? Anyway, we’re walking in the door right now. Table twenty-six. You see anybody you know yet? Get out! That’s so nice. Bye,” she says. “Can you believe our girl is really getting hitched, Savannah?”

“I can. Michael’s a good guy. I think it’s going to last.”

“What makes you say that?”

“When you get married at fifty, what reasons could you possibly have to get a divorce? Besides, Robin is live entertainment.”

“Anyway, she and Gloria are already at our table and apparently there are some elderly people sitting with us, too.”

“Good, then we’ll be with our peers.”

As they walk into the gigantic ballroom they look around until they spot their friends. The band isn’t on stage yet but their instruments are waiting for them. Herbie Hancock’s music is playing in the background. The parquet dance floor is empty. There must be well over a thousand people here. Most of the big round tables are already full. Candles flicker. The centerpieces are desert bouquets.

“Hello,” Bernadine and Savannah say to the two elderly couples. All four have silver hair. Their skin is the color of molasses.

“Hello to you, ladies. Where are your husbands tonight? Left them at home, did you?”

“We did,” Robin says before anyone has a chance to respond. “You know what happens when football season starts, sir.”