Ghostly (Darkly Devoted Book 1) (14 page)

Chapter Nineteen

“So what gives?” Meredith sat down across from me in the corner booth of the cafeteria.

I was exhausted. I’d barely had any sleep before my horrid alarm had gone off, forcing me to get up, throw on some clothes, and drag myself to school. Cade had been gone when I got up, but I found some purple roses sitting on my desk. I knew they were from him as some sort of apology. I’d felt my heart swell in my chest but pushed the lovey dovey thoughts from my mind as I raced down the road.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I finally answered as I twirled my spaghetti.

She leaned over to me and spoke quietly. “Cade. Remember the stuff we found online?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t get it. We’ve hung out and I’ve tried to give you the opportunity, but you haven’t even brought back up that newspaper article we found.”

“I didn’t want to say anything around Celeste.” I sighed and looked at her.

“Please? I swear I won’t say anything.”

Maybe she could verify if I was severely losing my mind. I really didn’t want to give away Cade’s secret, but she already knew part of it.

“Fine, you wanna know a secret?”

She nodded.

“I live in a haunted house.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, duh.”

“No, I mean really.”

“You’ve been hanging around Ryder too much.”

“No, I know what I’m talking about. Cade is, um…”

“Dead?” she asked, afraid to hear the answer.

I nodded. “Yeah…he’s kinda trapped in my house.”

She raised a speculative eyebrow and took a bite of her salad.

“I mean, you’ve seen him, and you’ve seen the newspaper article.”

“I have.”

“And you don’t believe me?”

She sighed. “No, the problem is I do. Unlike you, I believe in ghosts and all that…my family has always been really spiritual. I mean, more like nature and home remedies kinda stuff but still.”

“That’s cool…”

“I mean…Briar, you can’t possibly love him, can you?”

“No.” I answered too quickly for either of us to accept it.

“You can’t possibly even think that. You can’t ever be together.”

“No…maybe….I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want to be in love. There’s just something about him…”

“That’s haunting?” She laughed at her joke for a moment before lowering her voice and becoming serious. “But Briar, he killed himself…”

“Yeah, but we talked about it.”

“How do you know that he won’t try to take you to the other side with him? I mean…he could be part of the reason for all those bad things happening in the house.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, he does seem to have a dark side, but I think the goodness in him balances it out.” Was I really trying to convince her of it? Or was I trying to convince myself? I didn’t trust him, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still hiding something. Something dark. “It just feels right with him.”

She looked at me for a minute, thoughtful as she crocked her head to the side. “I just don’t trust him. I remember the way he looked at you during your Halloween party, like you were a piece of meat or something. It was disturbing…and then I couldn’t get the closet door open! It was because he was using his ghostly powers to keep it closed! Doesn’t that freak you out?”

“No, not really. I think it’s kinda cool.”

“This isn’t just some horror movie that you watch. This is your life. Are you sure this is what you want to do with it?”

“I just…” How could I explain it so she would understand? I didn’t even understand it. “It’s like I can’t breathe when he’s not around. Nothing feels so certain and nothing makes me feel more like myself. Nothing but being around him.”

“But he lied to you.”

I shrugged. “I can be with him for now. It doesn’t mean I’m stuck with him forever.” Even as I said the words, I knew I was in deeper than I wanted to admit.

“I guess you’re right…but you better be careful.” She sighed but something clicked in her eyes. “I think the ghost thing is kind of sexy. Who knew you could even touch a ghost. He looks so real.”

I bit my lip to hide the smile that wanted to take over my face. I couldn’t let him get to me or change me into something I wasn’t. Smiling wasn’t something I did naturally.

“Okay, so you have a boyfriend.”

“Kind of.”

“He’s dead and sexy, but maybe dangerous.”

“Basically.”

She crinkled her nose as if she’d thought of something gross. “Ew, does that mean you are a necrophilliac?”

I scrunched my nose to match hers, disgusted at the idea. “God, I hope not. That’s nasty.”

“Let’s see,” she said, pulling out her phone to search. She found something to her liking and pushed it over to me. “Spectrophilia, you’re in the clear.”

“Good news.”

“For real.”

“Please don’t say anything.”

“Look, Briar, I’m happy that you’ve found someone who makes you happy…but he’s a ghost.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“I…I don’t know.”

She sighed. “Do you think he’s really safe?”

“I dunno…I think so.”

“I’m going to be texting you a lot to make sure you are still alive. Being a ghost could make him more dangerous, don’t you think?”

I slowly nodded; she was probably right.

“You need to move out of that house. It’s not safe. People have died there.”

“Now who’s sounding like Ryder?”

“Are there other ghosts there?”

I sighed. “Yes. My dad had some priest come to cleanse the house but it didn’t work…obviously.”

“But what about Ryder? I was really hoping it would work out with you two. You can’t really
be
with Cade.”

“I know.” I didn’t like being reminded of it. One minute I was in fantasyland thinking I was in love with a ghost, and then thrust back into reality where it would never work out. “I’ll have to think of something.”

“You better think long and hard.”

“I will.”

“Your secret is safe with me, but expect texts. Lots of them. And if he tries anything, you’d better leave that house and tell me.”

Her words quickly changed to the hot guy across the room as Celeste and Ryder approached the table. I was thankful that she knew when to shut up. 

Chapter Twenty

When I got home that afternoon, I tried not to face the fact that my dad had surely lost his mind.

First, he was going on dates. Now, he was forcing me to sit with him at dinner with the woman he was dating and a nephew that lived with her. He’d lost it. Maybe my real dad had been abducted by aliens or fairies. The man standing before me had to be a changeling.

Yeah, that was it.

“Go ahead and set the table, Briar. They will be here soon,” the changeling said in the most eerie imitation of my father’s voice that I’d ever heard.

I rolled my eyes, hoping not to receive the wrath of the creature, and dragged my brother into the dining room with me.

“Here, put these forks where I put plates okay?” I handed him the silverware.

“Okie dokie, Sissy,” he said, following behind me and putting a silver piece beside each one. We then set out cups and napkins for everyone.

By the time we were done, I heard a knock at the door and peeked around the corner to see. Dillon ran past me and into the other room. He wrapped his arms around Dad’s legs.

The alien, still assuming my father’s shape, opened the door to reveal a tall, curvaceous woman. She was dressed in a tight black dress with a wide red belt underneath her large breasts. Her blonde hair fell in massive curls around her head as she stepped inside, kissing my father on the cheek and walking further into the room as if she owned the place

“This home is simply gorgeous.”

Are you kidding me?

Behind her, a figure walked in that made me want to throw up. Ryder.
Shit.

I had just a moment to debate going upstairs and putting on something else or running for the hills. I’d put on my black skinny jeans and my favorite purple top with designs on it, but it was form fitting. I felt like I was smothering, gripping the doorway to hold onto it and shaking my head to make sure I wasn’t crazy. My dad couldn’t be dating his aunt…and Ryder couldn’t be back in the house. It was too dangerous.

“Hey Briar,” he said, nodding at me and walking past me to take a seat as if nothing was wrong.

Nope he was there, in my house, with that
woman—
the one who had been dating my dad. I frowned and crossed my arms.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other,” she said as she walked past me and took a seat.

I scowled at her, daggers shooting through my eyes without a word. My brother and father came in and sat down too, leaving me standing angrily in the doorway.

“Come on sweetie, sit down. This is my friend Carla and her nephew Ryder,” my dad said as I went to sit down at the table.

“Whatever.”

“Don’t be rude, Briar.” He obviously wasn’t making the connection between my Ryder and Carla’s Ryder…who were the same person.

I gave an exaggerated sigh and crossed my arms as I sat down in the seat. He and
Carla
made small chit chat as we ate dinner. My brother was busy talking to Ryder about his day at pre-k while I sat in misery. I was not about to make small talk with him or that skanky ho. I ate my dinner quickly and was the first one finished. Finally after what seemed like hours later, dinner was over, and I was happy that I hadn’t had to talk.

“Well, we are going to go... I’m sure you guys can keep each other company.” My dad stood up and took Carla’s hand.

“Dad!” I exclaimed and jumped to my feet.

He didn’t even answer me, just left the room with the woman.

“Unbelievable,” I muttered.

“Sissy, Imma go play trains,” Dillon said and left me as well.

Awkward silence filled the room.

Ryder stood up. “So, um, what do you want to do?”

“Don’t pretend this isn’t awkward.”

“I’m not.”

“You are,” I insisted.

“Well, we can either sit here and stare at each other, or we can talk.”

“I have this zombie video game we could play. It’s pretty brutal,” I suggested. I couldn’t leave him alone in the house. Cade hated him.

“Okay.”

When we got to my bedroom, he took as seat at my desk. “Did I…do something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then what’s wrong with you? You seem mad at me.”

“Things are just weird these days.” I hoped he wouldn’t move any closer. Distance was good.

Ryder laughed as he stood up and moved to sit beside me on the bed. “Look, I know how weird it is that my aunt and your dad are dating. I had absolutely no idea or I would have told you. I’m sure it’s weird that your dad is dating someone.”

“Don’t pretend you know how I feel.”

“Geez, sorry.”

I scooted backwards onto the bed to put some space between us. I didn’t want to be rude, but maybe it would make him leave. “I appreciate you trying to understand me but not many people do.”

He moved closer to me and took my hand. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just that…you make me nervous, you know.” He leaned in toward me, but just as I was about to tell him to stop, he paused to look around. “Are you sure you don’t feel these ghosts? I just got chills, and I feel like someone wants me to die.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about. That mood Cade could radiate off himself when he was angry was incredibly scary, the way he could call attention to himself in a second or push it away from him. Cade was complicated.

Ryder reached up to caress my face. I readied myself to tell him to stop, but the words wouldn’t come out. I hadn’t gotten to kiss him the last time he was over, and I hadn’t gotten to assure myself that I should be with Cade. Yes, I had. But I wanted to test the waters.

Really, I should’ve pushed him off as he pressed his lips to mine. It felt different to feel heat radiating off him and the heartbeat under my hand as I placed it on his chest. He was a real boy, someone who I could realistically spend time with, for the long run, outside of the house.

It was normal, exactly what I’d wanted.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. A chill ran down my spine and snapped me out of my thoughts. His kisses moved to the side of my face and along my jawline, giving me the chance to flutter my eyelids open and meet the black ones staring at me from the corner of the room.

Cade stood there with that disturbing stare on his face as he glared at us from across the way. His hands balled up at his sides, jawline set tight on his face. He shook his head at me and the lights began to flicker. The light bulbs in my room exploded into a thousand pieces. I screamed.

Ryder pulled back from me. “Whoa, what happened.”

“I—um—must have been a power outage.” I trembled as I pulled back from him and slid off the bed.

“That’s some outage.” His voice was uncertain, as if he knew it was something else entirely.

“Don’t move,” I instructed.

I dug through the bedside drawer until I found the flashlight. Pushing the on button didn’t work. The light would not come on.

When I moved across the room, I shot a warning look in Cade’s direction and lowered my voice to a whisper. “You better be nice.”

“What?” Ryder asked.

“Nothing.”

I found my phone on the table, intending on pulling up my flashlight app so I could see what was going on. My hands found it, but it jerked itself out of my grasp and flew across the room. It smashed into the far wall. 

Crap.

“Briar?” I heard my father calling.

He pushed open the door of my room with Carla on his arm. He had a candle in his hand; the flame projected a slight glow into the room. My brother ran past him and to me. He gripped me tightly and started to cry.

“Shh, it’s okay,” I cooed and picked him up. I adjusted him on my hip and looked over at my father as if I didn’t know what was going on. “What happened?”

“I’m not sure. I’m sending Carla and Ryder home, so we can call the electrician to come out.”

“Good idea.” I followed him out into the hallway and hoped Cade would calm down after they left.

I grabbed a hold of Ryder’s shirt with my free hand and led him toward the stairs. He had to get out as fast as possible.

“Whoa!” he yelled as the rug pulled out from under him.

My hand was the only thing that kept him from rolling down the stairs. I cursed under my breath as he took a hold of the banister and continued down. Once we made it to the door, the lights flickered back on. 

“That’s weird,” my dad said as he walked outside with Carla.

Ryder turned to me. “Sorry it was such a crappy night. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?”

“Sure,” I said, not certain that I wanted to talk to him anymore. It was way too difficult with Cade in the house, and I didn’t need to add any more confusion to the mound of emotions I already felt. I didn’t want to lead him on, but I didn’t want to break his heart either. I was torn and had no idea what to do about it.

I returned to my room with the broom. With a loud sigh, I closed the door and began to screw in a new light bulb. Bright light cast through the room, brighter than before. My eyes squinted for a moment as they adjusted. I began to sweep up the glass off the floor.

“I could have killed him,” Cade growled from behind me.

I swept up the last bit of glass into the pan and turned around to him. “Don’t be dramatic.”

He stepped over to me and grabbed me by the face, hands gripping me but not hurting me as he glared into my eyes. “But I wanted to. When I saw him kiss you, I lost my freaking mind. I
ached
to just wrap my hands around his scrawny throat and snap his neck.”

I swallowed hard, scared by the admissions coming from him. He’d never admitted to such homicidal thoughts before. “And…and you didn’t do it. That’s a good thing.”

“Is it?” He tore away from me and ran his hands through his hair. He looked unsure and confused as he paced the room.

“Yeah, obviously.”

“You don’t know how hard that was, Briar, I’m a damned monster. I was standing there fantasizing about it.”

I was speechless. There was nothing I could say to his struggle. He was admitting to me how hard it was for him not to
kill
someone, how difficult it’d been for him to let Ryder leave my home alive. Cade was somewhere else, and he had left behind some terrifying psycho.

He stopped pacing and looked at me. “I wanted to snap his freaking neck.”

My body started to shake as I tried to grasp the fact that he’d been inches away from murdering someone. Maybe I was making a mistake. Maybe I needed to leave the home with my family to keep everyone I loved safe. No, I’d made my decision. I pushed the negative thoughts out of my head and took a few cautious steps towards him.

“It’s okay, Cade. It’s okay.”

He took my hand and pulled me to him as if I was the last tangible thing in his world— as if I was the last thing grounding him to reality.

“I can’t lose you. If I lost you, I’d lose whatever sanity is left in me.”

I backed up towards my bed, carting him behind me. I crawled up onto the mattress and he followed, laying down and burying his head into the pillow. Aligning my body with his, I placed my arm around the front of him and cuddled up behind him, stroking his hair. “It’s going to be okay, Cade. Just breathe sweetie. It’s going to be okay.”

And I tried to convince myself of the same thing.