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Authors: Douglas Brunt
Ghosts of Manhattan
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Chapter 7: Oliver and Sybil Bennett
Chapter 11: Working at the Car Wash
Chapter 12: A Sociopath Comes to Dinner
Chapter 13: The Tone of her Voice
Chapter 22: The Company of One
for Megyn
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
âF
RIEDRICH
N
IETZSCHE
November 15, 2005
I CAN'T STAND OTHER PEOPLE HALF THE TIME. I'M NOT
a cynical person by nature, but sometimes if you look up, you realize everything around you has slowly been turning to crap. Time screws with everything, and thirteen years on the Bear Stearns trading floor selling corporate bonds can change a person.
There are few careers in life that require a person to be a genius. Business and politics are not among them. Selling bonds and bank debt for Bear is certainly not among them, but I've done it for more than a decade and made a lot of money. It's a lifestyle I knew nothing about before I got here, and I try to keep a barrier between this life and all the people who knew me before. As if I were a CIA agent, other people know only my cover and nothing about how I actually live day to day. They know only that I work in finance and get paid very well.
“Farmer!” I ignore the yell. “Farmer!” Jerry Cavanaugh shouts again from over my left shoulder. Jerry runs the trading desk for the fixed income products we buy and sell every day. Bond
issuances for casinos, airlines, shipping and transportation companies. Stuff like that.
“Nick! Farmer!” It's a thuggish, Staten Island accent, incongruous with a dress shirt, tie, and an annual bonus of three million dollars.
I turn around with hands in the air and an expression as if to say I heard you the first time.
“Where are we on the Continental bonds? I want to be out of that position by the end of the day. What level can you get?”
“Ninety and a quarter for most of it. I'm waiting on a call back from Chappy.” We trade mostly distressed stuff. Companies that raised a lot of money, hit some hard times, and now the market wonders if they can pay it all back and service the debt. We factor in the risk that the company will fail to repay by making a market for the debt at less than the issued value.
Jerry scowls. “What do you mean, âmost of it'?”
“I'm working on it.” I watch the scowl deepen. Jerry has a round, Irish face, red-brown hair, and translucent white skin like the belly of a fish. He looks younger than his thirty-eight years, though I suspect that may be because he's so fat. If he stopped adding weight, his skin might have a chance to wrinkle. I turn back around and call my client at UBS who has interest in the bonds.
I like Jerry. Not as a real friend, but as far as spending time with work folks, he's fine. He has a way about him that he likes to argue and fight, but in a good-natured way as though everyone should be enjoying the fight along with him.
I run a sales desk and have five guys working for meâall in their twenties. We work closely with Jerry's team of traders, executing the buy and sell orders from the traders as they change their positions. They're responsible for allocating Bear Stearns capital across these positions, what we call “running a book.”
None of this is rocket science. You need to be aggressive and confident and develop a drinking or cocaine habit to help with the socializing. Trading is mainly about having the relationships on Wall Street with other sales and trading guys to get the deals done. That's why there are so many former college jocksâit's a fraternity. It's how I first got the job too. I played lacrosse at Cornell, and a player who graduated a few years ahead of me was a trader at Bear. I had never even met the guy, but he took me in like a blood relation. Lacrosse is a particular favorite on Wall Street, and it helps to have the nepotism extended when you're twenty-two years old and looking for a job.
A lot of traders and sales guys like to point out how stupid they are, that they were always the ones struggling at the bottom of the class but are now the ones making all the money and having the last laugh. They like to attribute it to a different kind of smarts, but it's really only a matter of finding a ticket in and having the will to stay.
A person can lose perspective on the value of a dollar here. In almost any other industry I know, for three hundred thousand dollars a year you can hire a smart, experienced guy to come work for you. He'll work hard, take pride in his work, and live a good lifestyle on that money. Wall Street is different. After a few years on Wall Street, that guy's a loser. After ten years at Bear, if you're not making two million, or five million, you're failing. A guy trading bonds for ten years who makes only three or four hundred grand a year doesn't exist. I've never seen anything even close to that.
Jerry pops me on the shoulder as he walks by. A friendly shot to the arm to say, “Hey, brother, you and I are in the trenches together.” Jerry is known for jabs to everyone's arms. I watch him trail off to the men's room, newspaper unabashedly under his arm as his enormous backside fills the aisles between the long rows of desks of the hundreds of traders and salesmen on the floor.
It's an enormous ass with lower back fat coming over the belt. He'd been a good Division III football player in college. He started at Bear just before I did and I remember he was thin then. You have to work hard at eating and drinking to accomplish that transformationâblowing up like a tick engorged on blood.
Jerry passes the food concession shops and rounds the corner to the men's room, the profile of his butt the last thing I see. I don't understand how a toilet seat can be one size fits all. It defies the laws of physics. A skinny twelve-year-old kid could fit in Jerry's back pocket. Whatever seat can support Jerry, that kid should fall right through.
Most of our trading takes place in about 120 minutes, usually in the morning, unless the Fed is making an announcement. I have plenty of time the rest of the day to contemplate such things as the physics of that abused toilet seat.
I lift my eyes up to the ceiling, bored. The Bear trading floor was built to be state-of-the-art when we consolidated offices a few years ago. Ceilings are about fourteen feet high. The trading floor is by the elevators, food concessions, and bathrooms, with two-thirds of the floor for traders and one-third for banking support. On the floor are about five hundred overpaid minions all out in the open, seated like rows of corn, with square columns spaced throughout the massive room, each column with mounted televisions. No office doors, just long tables where we sit side by side, each with our own phones and monitors mounted up in front of us. This way we can stand up and yell directly to whoever may be on the other side of a deal with us. The more monitors you have in front of you, the more senior you are. In theory this is because the more senior traders need to follow more markets, but it's also to signal their status.
Around the perimeter of the floor are offices with a window to
the outside world. These offices with actual doors are for management. Some people, like me, are mostly out trading on the floor and share an office. I share one with Jerry and neither of us is in it much. We're mostly on the floor, on the phones.
During the 120 minutes when it's actually busy, it is true madness. So much chaos, yelling, and urgencyâso many sources of sound, like walking into a storeroom full of televisions all with the volume up loud. It gets easier over time, though. Like learning a new language.
I see Jerry come back around the corner. Surprised, I check my watch and notice that only ten minutes have passed. Normally these trips of his are like weekend excursions. He walks up next to me and half sits, half leans on the table that is my desk as well as the desk of the twenty others in my row. It strains and bows lower under the weight. For a moment, I worry that my monitors will now slide across the decline to the left and crash into monitors from the guy next to me coming down the other decline to the right and collide at the center of gravity that is Jerry's ass.
“Nick, what do you say we get these guys out for some drinks tonight? Take off around four and head over to Moran's.”
Prying my nervous eyes from the monitor that is so far holding its position, I have a sudden and jarring sense of déjà vu. Whether it is the familiarity of Jerry coming over to set up a drinking event, or the memories of a guy in college just like Jerry setting up drinking events, or if I have truly lived this life before, I don't know.
I occasionally get these strong bursts of déjà vu. Depending on my mood, I am either very reassured or very alarmed. In the first case, I feel a sense of comfort that I must be on the right path. In the second, I feel it is a disturbing repetition of the same mistakes I have previously made and failed to correct. Lately these moments have me mostly disturbed.
“Sure, sounds good. I'll get William and Ron to come along.” I'm still hungover from last night, but this is usually the best fix anyway. This job isn't much different from life in college, except for the 7:30 a.m. start to the day. That's why it's a younger man's game. It's a hard lifestyle on the body. You need to bank as much cash as you can, then get out by fifty. It's a career that lasts just a little longer than pro sports, and at thirty-five I need to start planning ahead.
Jerry is a little up the totem pole from me. Technically we're peers, but there is more prestige on the trading side than on the sales side. While Jerry will make about three million again this year, I'll make about two million. Not bad for leaving at 4 p.m. to go drinking. And we'll expense the drinks back to Bear.
There is one noble thing about crime. It is the only true meritocracy on the planet. No one in the crime industry cares whether you went to Harvard or dropped out of the fifth grade. They don't look at resumesâyou eat what you kill.
Trading bonds at Bear has imperfect aspects of this. Sure, it helps to play lacrosse to get in, and, yes, someone ultimately determines your bonus for you. But for the most part, we eat what we kill. The financial markets aren't perfect. We know how to move money around, take small pieces each time, and make a lot of money for Bear. If I make fifty million for Bear in a year, they should pay me well. Who else should get the money? I made it for them. They seem content to pay me.
